


A Hint of Chamomile

by IntoTheFold



Series: Happy Meadows [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bathtubs, Bedroom Sex, Betrayal, Birthday, Blackmail, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Daddy Kink, Dream Sex, Dubious Consent, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Incest, Masturbation, Older Man/Younger Woman, Parent/Child Incest, Pregnancy Scares, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sleep Groping, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-03-16 01:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 106,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13626069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoTheFold/pseuds/IntoTheFold
Summary: “There is no use fighting the inevitable, my darling girl. Now, try to relax, and drink your tea.”One man’s attempt to curb his obsession with his troubled daughter sets into motion a series of events neither of them could have anticipated as they venture to a remote community centered around helping people cope with their problems.Tags will be added as they come up.@thesweetestyethttps://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I finally figured out how to start this one and I'm super excited about sharing it. I've been toying with this overall idea for months and I'm already deeply attached to the characters so let's see where this journey takes us!
> 
> P.S. I snuck a reference to a favorite song of mine in here. Hope someone catches it!
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!

With all great changes in life, the end result can typically be traced back to a singular event. This trigger, this catalyst, forms the basis for all subsequent events culminating in what can sometimes be a dramatic transformation. Some may say we are the sum of our experiences, but it remains true that they had to start somehow, somewhere. A seemingly innocuous conversation or encounter may prove to be the foundation for a wonderful outcome; yet for some individuals, a single occurrence may be their undoing.

For father, husband, and accountant Samuel Bell, he could pinpoint the precise moment that began his slow descent into that bleak pit of maddening obsession. He would be lying if he didn't confess he had already begun to see his daughter in a different light; ever since her eighteenth birthday he became acutely aware of the fact that she was indeed an adult. She had become something of a Daddy's Girl ever since the death of her mother at the start of her high school years, but suddenly the affectionate yet innocent kisses on the mouth and the brush of her full breasts against his chest when they embraced made him uncomfortable in a way he could not admit even to himself. He swore he would ignore these feelings.

Now twenty, his beautiful but troubled Colleen had opted not to go to college and had done virtually nothing over the past two years. Samuel could not help but feel at fault; his method of coping with the passing of his wife had been to remarry within the following year, and although he did not love Linda as he should he knew that she and her daughter Bella helped fill a hole that would otherwise be filled with alcohol.

Colleen did not handle the “replacement of Mom,” as she put it, with any sort of grace. She began to act out even more at school, nearly being held back multiple times except for Samuel's exasperated pleas that she really was a good kid just dealing with a lot of stress. She got into fights, smoked pot, and wore an incredible amount of black. Samuel was convinced she would have an arrest record by the time she turned twenty-one.

So far, she had proved him wrong. He had been supportive of her not going to college and focusing on figuring herself out, and despite the fact that he and Linda argued this point frequently it seemed to do Colleen some good. She rarely left the house except to go on errands with Samuel or to go out with the family; she never bothered to learn to drive. Linda went out often with friends, as did Bella, but Colleen had none. Samuel knew he was all she had.

It was on one of those nights, wherein Linda and Bella had gone out to socialize and left Colleen and Samuel alone, that his downfall began. They had eaten dinner together, Samuel trying desperately not to notice the curve of her cleavage in the low cut tank top she wore or the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. She had brushed up against him as they did the dishes, her fingers sending sparks up his forearm as she placed them on his skin to reach across him. He felt like he was going mad.

The trouble was, that wasn't even the worst of it.

After assuring Colleen the dishes were done and awkwardly receiving a goodnight kiss, Samuel went into his office in the hopes of getting a head start on some of the ledgers for next Monday's meeting but found he could not focus. His mind kept wandering back to his daughter, to the searing kiss he still felt on his lips. He decided then and there he would tell her the kisses had to stop, that they simply weren't appropriate for a young woman her age and her father.

With a heavy sigh Samuel stepped out of his office and made his way down the hall towards Colleen's bedroom. He was unsure of how she would take his request; hoping she would be mature about it, he stopped suddenly upon hearing a startling noise coming from the crack in her door. It sounded as though she was in pain.

Concerned, Samuel leapt for the door and had just grasped the handle when he heard the noise again. Closer this time, he was able to see Colleen laying on her bed through the gap and opened his mouth to call out to her, to ask what was wrong, when he suddenly realized what was happening.

She had removed her sweatpants and lay on the bed wearing nothing but the tank top and a pair of boyshorts, the blankets kicked off to one side. Her back was arched as one hand slipped beneath the hem of the shorts and curled between her legs, the other fondling her breast.

Oh God, she was  _ masturbating _ .

She was decidedly not in pain.

Samuel froze, one hand on the door handle, the other balling into a fist at his side. He told his eyes to look away, told his feet to move, but his body betrayed him. He continued peering through the gap as Colleen rocked on the bed, her moans and whimpers growing louder, and found himself imagining what she would look like touching herself without her clothes. His tongue suddenly felt very thick; he gulped down the excess saliva that had started pooling. It was then he noticed that his body had betrayed him in more ways than one.

Trying to stop from groaning at the erection straining against his pants, Samuel didn't even realize at first that the hand balled at his side had moved to palm himself. He hissed at the contact, biting his cheek to keep himself from making any noise. Colleen was close, he could tell based on the way her hips bucked and she took deep raspy breaths. He imagined himself on top of her, his hand the one down her shorts, fingers slipping between her wet folds. He wished he were the one getting her off.

And then with one final piercing moan it was over. Colleen flopped down onto the bed, grinning and panting in the afterglow of her orgasm. Samuel released the door handle slowly, not wishing her to know he had seen. He suddenly felt a rush of panic and disgust, and as quickly and quietly as he could muster he made his way to his room and shut the door.

Pacing the room did nothing to calm him. He still felt the incredible pressure of his arousal begging for release, still replayed the sight of Colleen's closed eyes, flushed cheeks, and parted lips over and over in his mind. He could not shake the desire but did not want to indulge it.

Samuel groaned at his inner turmoil, deciding on a whim to rip off his clothes and hop into a very cold shower. The icy water stung but for a moment it seemed to work; he felt himself relax and the lust abate. It occurred to him then that he could actually consider this somewhat of a good thing, having had trouble keeping it up for the past year and a half. Yet here he was, a singular chance encounter with his daughter pleasuring herself and he was rock hard.

And he was again. Despite the cold water raining down on him, Samuel felt himself firming up once more. Exasperated, he turned the faucet back to hot and delighted in the feeling of the warm droplets on his skin. He took himself in his fist with a moan at the strength of his grip and imagined it was Colleen's delicate fingers that grabbed him. He pretended she knelt in the shower in front of him as he pumped his fist, her skin soft against his. She stared up at him with big gorgeous brown eyes, strands of damp hair sticking to her cheeks. She continued to stroke the length of him; he gasped as she leaned in and took him in her mouth, her warm wet tongue circling the tip-

With a final grunt Samuel found himself staring down at the semen in his hand as it slowly washed away. He felt beyond ashamed. He had gone from being practically impotent to coming while thinking about his daughter blowing him in the span of maybe twenty minutes. This was not now he had expected his evening to go, and he had no one to blame but himself.

But, he thought as he leaned against the shower wall and let the water wash away his sin, damn if it didn't feel good.

 

“ You smell weird.”

Colleen had been greeted by many an impolite phrase by her younger stepsister, but this was a first. She wrinkled her nose in disgust at the twelve-year-old brat, hoping the kitchen would have been empty this late in the morning. “You look weird and we keep you around,” she replied.

Bella turned to face her mother across the kitchen table, dropping her spoon back in her cereal bowl. “Mom, Colleen's been smoking pot again.”

Linda looked up sharply and Colleen scoffed. “Um, no. The smell is from my hair dye. Thanks for trying to get me in trouble, though, you little gremlin.”

Bella stuck her tongue out at Colleen before resuming munching on her cereal. Colleen ignored Linda's eyes on her, taking two waffles out of the freezer and popping them into the toaster and secretly annoyed that she wasn’t the only one who decided to sleep in. Linda finally turned back to the newspaper, something she felt she had to do every single day to stay informed. It was like the internet wasn't a thing.

“ Huh. Look at this, honey,” Linda gestured to Samuel seated next to her. “There was a fire down at that deli you really like.”

“ Really?” said Samuel, suddenly concerned. He peered over the pages through his reading glasses with a frown, a mug of coffee at his lips.

“ Yes, some sort of electrical wiring issue. What a shame.”

“ That is unfortunate. I do hope they set up some sort of donation campaign, I would love to contribute-”

“ Oh, I need my birth control refilled,” Colleen interrupted, grabbing her waffles from the toaster and shoving them in her mouth as she located a plate. The conversation stopped, and she found everyone at the table staring at her. “What?” she mumbled through a mouthful of waffle, setting the plate down and dropping her breakfast onto it before returning to the pantry.

“ And who exactly are you sleeping with?” Linda asked scathingly, setting down the newspaper. Samuel suddenly spilled some coffee on his shirt; she gave him a strange look before turning back to Colleen expectantly.

“ Well, I mean, no one right  _ now _ . But you never know when you might need it.”

Samuel continued to blot at the coffee stains on his previously crisp white shirt. Linda frowned into her orange juice. “You don't have a job, or a car for that matter. You can't even drive. So what, you're just going to fool around with random guys you meet on the internet?”

Colleen was somewhat surprised Linda was being so brazen in front of Bella but shrugged it off. “Why not? Might as well have some fun around here. Besides, I can get anyone I want, job or no.”

Linda shook her head in disbelief. “Yes, I'm sure there are plenty of lonely men looking for a young slut to screw.” She turned to Bella, tone almost mocking. “Take note, Bella, this is how you end up with STDs and pregnant.”

“ Linda!” Samuel exclaimed, but it wasn't loud enough to catch her attention. Bella stared at her mother with wide eyes, seemingly debating whether or not she wanted to get involved. Yet the two exchanged a knowing smile that made Colleen feel sick and angry as she sat down at the table with a bag of chips.

“ I wouldn't get pregnant if you'd refill my birth control. Besides, what crawled up your ass and died?”

“ Colleen!” Samuel shouted, his voice louder this time and betraying his level of exasperation. She rolled her eyes and cut into her waffle, supplementing every few bites by reaching into the bag of nacho chips and finishing off with a big gulp of milk.

There was silence for a few moments, penetrated by Linda turning to Samuel and glowering. “Is that all you're going to say?”

Startled by her tone, Samuel sighed as he spilled a few more drops of coffee onto his stained shirt. “What am I supposed to-? Ah, Colleen, apologize to your mother.”

“ She's not my mother,” Colleen blurted quickly, stuffing more food into her mouth.

“ See? She doesn't respect me one bit! And you're not helping by letting her get away with it,” Linda spat, glaring daggers.

“ Me?” Samuel looked up from round two of his failed cleaning attempts and frowned. “I can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to.”

Colleen nodded, smiling at her father, and the corner of his lip twitched slightly before dipping into a grimace. Linda looked between them, incredulous. “That's the problem! You never punish her for anything! She could rob a bank and you would bail her out in a heartbeat. I think it's time you started-” Linda paused mid-thought at the loud crunch of Colleen chomping on a handful of chips. Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you eating chips with breakfast?” she asked through gritted teeth.

Colleen giggled. “I wanted something crunchy. I mean, isn't it really brunch by now? So the waffles are breakfast, and the chips are lunch.”

Linda stared at her, and Colleen paused mid bite as their locked eyes in a sudden realization.

“ You  _ were _ smoking pot, weren't you?” Linda accused.

_ Shit _ .

“ N-no, I just...I dyed my hair last night, so the smell...and I happened to want chips...what, is eating chips a crime now?”

Linda saw right through her excuses, glaring at her from across the table and slamming down her palms. “That's it. I can't deal with this right now.” She turned to Samuel with a pointed look. “You need to take her back to her room, confiscate the drugs, and punish her.”

Colleen smirked. There was no way her father would do it; she'd been smoking pot for years with him passively allowing it, and he had no reason to reprimand her now. She was in the middle of a particularly defiant chip chomp when she heard him sigh and utter words she never thought she'd hear.

“ She's right, Colleen.” Samuel removed his glasses, setting down the coffee-covered napkins and looking over at her. Colleen began to chew more slowly, horrified by what was happening. Did Linda finally have him so whipped that he was taking orders? “Come on,” he said finally, not even bothering to clean off the table before getting up and standing next to her, waiting.

Colleen groaned, a whiny, pitiful groan to let everyone know that she was most displeased with this outcome. She rolled out of the chair lazily and trudged down to her bedroom, where she sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her arms.

Samuel followed not long after, gently closing the door and sitting on the bed next to her. She leaned over onto his shoulder, reaching out gingerly to trace the coffee splotches on his chest before he took her hand in his.

“ Stop, Colleen,” he said softly.

She shrugged and tried to pull her hand back, but he didn't let go. “It's already set, it's going to stain anyway,” she mumbled.

“ That's not what I meant,” he whispered, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. “You can't keep acting like this.”

“ She started it!” Colleen nearly yelled, sitting straight up. “All I said was I needed more birth control, she was the one with all the accusations and the rude remarks and-”

“ Colleen,” Samuel said firmly. She stopped rambling and looked up at the softness in his gray eyes, feeling just a tad guilty about her behavior. It wasn't that she felt sorry for what she did or said, but she felt guilty that her father had to deal with the outcome the way he had. She longed for the days when it was just the two of them, as short as those days had been.

She didn't blame him for remarrying; how could she? He was grieving and needed companionship, but it had all happened so fast. It was as though one moment he was browsing dating websites looking for someone to even talk to, and then suddenly he had a new wife and stepdaughter. Colleen had never felt threatened by Bella; her relationship with her father was special, that she knew for sure. But it felt like her mother had been replaced, and so soon at that. It hadn't been her mother's fault that she got such an aggressive cancer and died so quickly, so why should her memory be forgotten so easily?

“ Dad...” Colleen muttered, “I'm sorry.”

Samuel nodded, looking pleased. “There you go. Now do you think you can say that to Linda?”

Colleen shook her head and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “One step at a time, I suppose. You have to give me the drugs, though. You know that, right?”

Colleen groaned. “It's legal in some states,” she offered as justification, but he clucked his tongue.

“ Not this one. Nice try.”

Colleen grumbled but slid off of the bed and opened her underwear drawer, pulling out a baggie rolled into a pair of particularly sexy red panties. She saw her father blanch and chuckled. “Come on, Dad, it's just pot. You can't tell me you've never seen pot before.”

“ No, that's not, ah- that's not...” Samuel trailed off. Colleen sat back next to him on the bed, handing him the bag which he took with a trembling hand. She placed her hand on his to calm it, delighting at the smile of adoration she received. She snuggled back up against his arm, feeling his body tense at first before he relaxed and rested his head upon hers.

If nothing else, she would always have her father. He was the thing she treasured most in life, and she wouldn't ever let anyone take him away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is family picnic time, and neither Samuel nor Colleen are particularly looking forward to it; sometimes, however, one can find enjoyment in the strangest places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the kudos and feedback! Glad I'm not the only one enjoying them.
> 
> This chapter is more buildup describing Colleen and Samuel's relationship and interactions. They're keeping each other at a (questionably) safe distance for now, but how long until someone cracks?
> 
> Feedback always appreciated!

Colleen was, in a word, bored.

The hour long car ride to Aunt Kate and Uncle Nelson’s lavish estate from their modest middle class home was never particularly enjoyable for her. It meant being alone with her thoughts, something that was already a frequent occurrence seeing as she had no school or job to keep her occupied. At home, however, she could lounge about her room with her things and do what she wanted to pass the time. Sometimes she listened to music; other times she read. Sometimes she played solitaire for hours on end. Her favorite thing to do, however, was write.

Colleen fell in love with creative writing at an early age, often presenting her parents with short stories featuring trips to Mars or the family getting a puppy. Neither of these came true, but Colleen didn’t care; it was her way to escape the humdrum of everyday life and be someone exciting. It was one of the few things that remained constant after the death of her mother, though for awhile the content became admittedly darker. Colleen liked to look back on those pieces from time to time, enjoying the pain in some twisted way as if it brought her closer to her mother again.

Despite supporting her in pretty much every other way, her father had never really been on board with creative writing as a career. He encouraged her to use it as an outlet for her grief, but as she neared high school graduation he adamantly refused to fund her college education if that would be her choice of degree. Colleen never told him this, but his lack of faith in her in this instance was one of the reasons she didn’t go to college at all. It wasn’t that she couldn’t get a loan and pay it off, but she couldn’t stand him to think she was wasting her life. Now here she was, twenty and nothing to show. She couldn’t even drive a damn car. Was this truly a life that hadn’t gone to waste?

Sometimes Colleen wanted to start fresh, to learn to drive, to go to college, to be a better person. Mostly she felt like she had fallen this far into a bleak pit of worthlessness and there really was no point in exerting any additional effort to claw her way out. She hated relying on her father so much for so long, yet it had come to be that he was all she had and she couldn’t see it any other way. She didn’t want it any other way.

She knew she disappointed him more often than he cared to admit, at least not to her. The drugs, the sex, the attitude; just about the only thing she didn’t do was drink, and that was only because she found alcohol to be disgusting. She wanted more than anything to remain his little girl, but the older she got she knew it was the selfish dream of an immature young woman.

This was why she hated being alone with her thoughts.

Colleen glanced at Samuel, seated in the passenger’s seat. He was laughing in reaction to something Linda had just said; it was a genuine laugh, not a bit forced. She smiled despite the intense jealousy she felt pooling in the pit of her stomach, knowing his happiness mattered the most. Despite her differences with Linda, her stepmom made him happy and that was honestly all she could ask for.

“Why are you smiling? Are you on drugs again?”

Bella’s obnoxious voice brought her back to the present moment. Her smile turned to a frown as she glowered at the little pest, noticing that the car had gone quiet and everyone was waiting for her response.

“No, I’m just happy. Aren’t I allowed to be happy?”

“I didn’t think witches could get happy,” Bella said innocently, not meeting Colleen’s glare as she played with her cell phone.

“Bella!” Linda exclaimed before Colleen could comment, but it wasn’t as much a reprimand as it was proud astonishment. Bella simply smiled.

Colleen caught her father's eye in the rear view mirror, and she was glad to see he looked apologetic though there was little he could do. Despite being married for five years and despite scolding Colleen at every turn, Linda was very particular about how Samuel interacted with her daughter. Something nonsensical about the importance of biology in parenting.

It was going to be a long car ride.

 

Samuel never particularly liked these things. They were unpleasant at best, but they were an obligation. Fortunately, because it was Linda's family she took care of all the introductions and catching everyone up on the latest happenings in the Bell household. All he really had to do was show up and participate in the occasional disingenuous polite conversation.

As Linda busied herself chatting up her relatives, Samuel grabbed a beer from the cooler and settled in on one of the long lounge chairs by the pool. He twisted off the bottle cap and cast it aside, pausing briefly to wave at Bella as she cannonballed into the pool from the diving board. It wasn't the most graceful of cannonballs, bordering on belly flop, but fortunately the thin girl didn't make much of a splash. With a chuckle Samuel began to sip his craft brew, enjoying the cold and refreshing taste as it went down his throat. Unfortunately, this was likely the only beer he would be having that afternoon.

Samuel knew Linda didn't approve of alcohol as a general rule, and admitting how heavily he drank before meeting her after the passing of his first wife had probably been a mistake. He was lucky now if he could get one in without getting a stink eye, but seeing as he wasn't the one driving he convinced her he should at least be allowed to enjoy himself. He assured her it wasn't as though her family was dull; quite the contrary, it was full of uptight, preachy egotists who couldn't hold a conversation without interjecting their clearly superior opinion every thirty seconds. It was enough to drive a man mad.

He hadn't said this, of course, but nevertheless he was grateful to be 'allowed' a drink, as it were. He frowned when he realized he had already consumed half of the bottle, inwardly kicking himself for downing it so quickly. They were going to be there for several hours, he knew that based on previous experiences, so wasting his one drink within the first one was a mistake. Perhaps he could sneak another later.

“Sammy! Good to see you!” Linda's brother finally made an appearance, extending an hand out to Samuel with a wide grin. Samuel reluctantly shook it, putting on the biggest fake smile he could and desperately trying not to remind Nelson in less than kind words that he hated being called Sammy.

“Nelson!” he exclaimed politely even as he felt his arm turn to jelly at the strength of the man's grip. They were roughly the same age, but for a man in his mid-fifties Nelson had him beat in the fitness department by far. It wasn't as though Samuel didn't try, but he'd never liked working out or running and all that alcohol had to go somewhere. Good genetics had helped him maintain a relatively average build, but he was certainly no Adonis.

In fact, now that he thought about it, Nelson had him beat in other ways as well. Samuel had been blessed with a good head of hair, but his had long since grayed and Nelson's was still largely blonde. Samuel was just an accountant; Nelson was some big shot investment banker. Samuel had a modest single-story middle class home in the suburbs; Nelson had a sprawling four-story mansion with a pool in the countryside. Samuel drove a ten-year-old sedan; Nelson's car cost more than Samuel's house. And that was just the one he drove regularly. Nelson had never been shy about expressing to Linda that she could have done better, especially the second time around, and today would be no exception.

Samuel suddenly began to wish he was somewhere very far away, anywhere but at the beginning of what was likely to be a highly long and uncomfortable conversation. There was nothing, he thought, nothing that could possibly make this any worse.

“Glad you could make it!” Nelson said with the air of a man who honestly could not have cared if Samuel showed up or not. “Here, I'd like you to meet my friend and coworker Mark Spitz.”

He gestured to the man that appeared beside him, who gave Samuel a friendly wave but did not offer to shake his hand. Samuel paled upon seeing him, groaning what he hoped was inwardly.

Oh great, now there were two of them.

Mark was, if possible, in better shape than Nelson, though he appeared possibly even a few years older. Dressed in a polo and bermuda shorts, his toned biceps and calves were on display for all to see, and Samuel felt very self conscious wearing his tropical-themed button-down and long khaki cargo pants. He hadn't listened to Linda when she insisted he wear shorts, but he didn't realize he'd get himself into some sort of older man machismo contest. It was all in his head, and he knew this, but it felt very real.

“Linda actually just helped Mark find a new house,” Nelson explained; Samuel didn't care, except for wondering about what kind of a commission she must be getting. She certainly hadn't mentioned any large sales.

“Oh, yeah! She's been great!” Mark grinned. “You have a very lovely wife.”

Well that was an uncomfortable comment made next to the man she married and her brother. “Yes, I- I certainly think so,” Samuel said, feeling like it was a lame response. He noticed then that Mark did not wear a wedding ring, though there were tan lines as though he had recently. Mark caught him looking and chuckled.

“Ah, yeah, that. Soon to be ex-wife got the house in the divorce, that's why I just bought a new one.”

Samuel nodded, downing the rest of his beer and sighing when the last drop touched his tongue. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Oh I'm not, bitch can rot in hell for all I care!” Mark laughed.

“Mark!” Nelson feigned shock, but he started laughing as well. The sound of both of them combined grated on Samuel's ears and he found himself turning his gaze away from the two men if just for a moment of reprieve. He was not sure how much more he could take.

His eyes wandered over to Colleen in the pool, playing a haphazard game of volleyball using a beach ball with Bella and some of the other kids. Her short hair framed her face, the auburn she dyed it showing off beautifully in the sun. Samuel had always liked her natural brown, but seeing her then he thought she looked just as amazing.

Someone knocked the beach ball out of the pool and into the bushes; pleas for someone outside to grab it fell on deaf ears, so Colleen began to make her way over to the ladder and climb out. Nelson and Mark had started a conversation of their own, recounting horror stories about Mark's soon to be ex-wife, but it was all for the better because it was then Samuel noticed something he hadn't noticed before. He hadn't been privy to Colleen's swimsuit choice that morning, but now he finally had the opportunity to see just what she decided to wear.

He wished he hadn't.

The navy blue polka dot bikini could be considered cute, he supposed, by female standards. From where he sat, however, it left very, very little to the imagination. The top was a low cut halter tied at her neck, leaving her pale back largely exposed. The bottom tied at the hips and had just enough material not to be categorized as a thong, but Samuel could clearly see her ass cheeks as she walked over and bent down to grab the ball. The sight of her as she returned to toss it into the pool, water dripping off her breasts as they shook when she walked, was enough to make Samuel's mouth feel incredibly dry and wet at the same time.

Before she managed to jump back in her team scored a point, to which she jumped up and down clapping her hands gleefully. Samuel tried to focus on her beautiful smile but he felt very hot and somewhat lightheaded; he looked down at the alcohol hoping it was the culprit, but he doubted four percent had affected him all that much. It was all Colleen.

Nelson and Mark did not seem to notice his discomfort, for which Samuel was thankful. He began to panic as he noticed the increased pressure in his groin, looking around trying to find something to lock his eyes onto that wasn't his attractive and wet daughter. Wincing a bit he shifted in his chair to cross his legs, praying no one had seen the bulge that had started to form. He glanced around; no one was paying attention to him. He seemed to be in the clear.

That was, until his eyes met Linda's. She gave him a strange look, glancing down at the way his legs were awkwardly crossed in the chair. He forced a smile, a smile that quickly faded as Linda turned her gaze to where Colleen was jumping back into the pool, then back to him. Her expression was still odd, but one more glance down at where he knew his erection wasn't quite hidden and he gulped as their eyes met again.

She knew.

Fuck, she  _ knew _ .

Samuel tried to take deep breaths but his anxiety kept growing. He waited an uncomfortably long time for Linda to come over to him, to say something, anything, but she turned away and continued talking to her family. He honestly wasn't sure how to interpret her actions.

He needed another beer.

 

The cool water in the pool felt wonderful on such a hot summer day, or so Colleen thought. She had just brought back the stupid beachball for the fourth time, and despite getting annoyed at the process she did enjoy the sensation of submerging once more after being out in the sun. Everyone seemed to be having a good time at the picnic, and despite herself Colleen was too. It felt great to get out of the house for a reason other than to run errands, even if it was with family she'd rather pretend she didn't have.

The only one who seemed out of place was her father. It was normal, she supposed, though she would have thought after five years he would've figured out how to socialize and fit in rather than section himself off until it was over. She knew the beer he drank despite Linda's wishes wasn't for his enjoyment as much as to help him cope with all the people.

A glance over at him when she grabbed the beachball from the bushes was the only proof she needed. He was staring off into space in her direction, looking more and more uncomfortable by the minute. She could understand why, with Uncle Nelson and his friend trying to engage him in what was undoubtedly insincere conversation. For a brief moment she considered going over and helping him disengage, but the water called to her once more.

One of the things about the water that kept her there was the presence of Josh, the son of Uncle Nelson's nearly divorced friend. He was twenty-seven and still lived at home, but Colleen didn't mind; he was well built and incredibly handsome. She had been trying to get closer to him the entire party thus far, but he seemed quite engaged in this stupid volleyball game. She'd have to keep playing.

The ball suddenly bounced off of her head. “Ow!” she yelped, knowing very well it didn't hurt at all. Everyone around her laughed.

“Pay attention you doofus,” Bella taunted, and Colleen realized just which direction the ball had originated from. She rolled her eyes at her stepsister, but was unprepared for what came out of the twerp’s mouth next. “Stop staring at Josh 'cause you think he's cute.”

Colleen felt her face flush; she wanted so badly to sink into the water and disappear but reason wouldn't let her. She gave a nervous laugh as she felt Josh's eyes on her but could not bring herself to meet them. “I didn't- I didn't say that...”

Josh kept staring.

“No but you keep staring at him with big googly eyes,” Bella continued, looking pleased with herself. Colleen didn't know what to say.

“What, just cute?” Josh asked playfully, grinning over at a mortified Colleen. She awkwardly excused herself, hurrying out of the pool and drying herself off with her towel. The rest of the group shrugged and went back to volleyball, but she knew she had to go somewhere to calm down. Somewhere she felt safe.

She stared over at her father, legs now crossed on the lounger and beer empty. Colleen smiled and nonchalantly grabbed another of the same type from the cooler, walking over and handing it to him. He blinked up at her for a moment before grabbing the ice cold bottle but not taking it from her hand. Their fingers touched and Colleen felt an odd chill.

“Colleen,” Samuel said, frowning, “You know I can't have another.”

“I won't tell if you won't,” she said with a grin. “Besides, it looked like you could use one.”

“You have no idea,” he muttered, barely audible over the roar of the party. He took the beer and twisted the top, taking a huge swig that made Colleen smile. At least she made someone happy.

“Can I join you?” she asked, unsurprised when Samuel gestured to the empty chair next to his. That wasn't what she meant, however; she was feeling particularly silly and vulnerable, and she didn't care how it looked to get what she wanted. She climbed onto the chair next to him, placing her hip next to his with her one knee bent just slightly resting on his thigh. She placed her arm on his chest, grabbing a fistful of his lame tropical shirt before resting her head on his shoulder.

It looked strange, she knew, for her to spoon her father in this fashion, especially so publicly. She couldn't explain it; she wanted to be close to him. All of these people, even though many weren't strangers, were putting her on edge. She figured he must be feeling the same way if he needed that second beer.

Samuel drank from it now, the hand holding it shaky and the other awkwardly squeezed between her body and his own. “Colleen!” he hissed, as though just then realizing she had climbed in with him. “What are you doing?”

“I need you,” she whispered, and any further protests died on his lips.

They sat there for several minutes, Colleen only somewhat aware of the looks people were starting to give. She didn't care; let them stare. This was her father and she was comfortable, even as she noticed the hand between him reaching up to stroke the top of her thigh. It was a strange sensation, almost intimate, and she had not quite figured out if she wanted it to stop when they were interrupted.

“Hey, uh, Colleen?”

Colleen sat up, pleasantly surprised to hear Josh's voice. He looked a little uncomfortable with her current position, looking directly at her and never her father as he continued. “The, uh, ball flew out again and blew away and got caught in some bushes...I was hoping since you're smaller than me you could get it out.”

She furrowed her brow, not quite ready to give up her spooning just yet. “Can't Bella do it? Or one of the other kids?”

Josh shook his head. “Nah, I want, uh, I want you to do it.”

_ Oh _ .

Colleen perked up almost immediately. “Sure thing!” she said cheerily, pausing to give Samuel a kiss on the cheek before heading off after Josh. She had a feeling she knew where this was going, and she was all too ready.

Josh led her around the side of the yard, over to the pool house. Colleen blinked as they went inside and he shut the door. “No, uh, no beach balls in here,” she laughed lamely. Josh took her hand and she delighted at the sparks in his warm touch; soon she had been pushed inside one of the changing rooms, the curtain closed and one of Josh's hands on either side of her head.

Colleen's heart hammered in her chest. Admittedly it had been awhile, and she was super lucky Linda had given in and actually picked up her new birth control, but she definitely wanted this. Yes, she definitely needed it.

Josh's lips were gentle on hers, far more so than she would have thought. Part of her wished he'd been more forceful, more hungry, but he almost seemed nervous. She allowed his curious tongue entry into her mouth, brushing it with hers and enjoying the appreciative groan he made. His hand entwined in her hair and she pressed her body into him; he hesitated as her breasts pushed into his chest before his kisses became more desperate. She reached down to the front of his swim trunks, pleased to find him hard.

Colleen had just begun to tease around the waistband of his swimsuit, dipping her fingers in one at a time, when the curtain suddenly pulled back. They both gasped and jumped away from each other, and for a moment she was worried it would be Samuel on the other side. It wasn't, however, but Josh paled at the sight of his livid father staring back at him.

Colleen wasn't sure which would have been worse.

 

Round two of Samuel's beer was gone. He had hoped to nurse it, but after Colleen's damp barely clothed body pressed up against him he chugged the whole thing. He knew Linda would reprimand him later but he didn't care; he was far more concerned about her reaction to seeing him aroused after watching Colleen. He really had no way to explain  _ that  _ away.

Had they not been in public, her random display of cuddly affection would have been most appreciated. He loved the feel of her warm body against him, the way she clung to his shirt and curled her leg around his. And then there was that comment,  _ I need you _ . He'd felt such love for her then, overwhelmingly emotional as well as the physical reaction. He wanted to say it back, that he needed her too, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. He felt as though any hint he gave as to his recent discoveries about his attraction to her would be more trouble than it was worth. Thus, rapidly imbibing alcohol.

The real problem, though, as he currently saw it, was that he'd had two bottles of booze without moving.

He needed to find a bathroom.

Samuel slid off of the chair and stood up, glad he could still walk due to the low alcohol content albeit somewhat woozy. His erection had gone down just enough to not be obvious; he avoided eye contact with Linda as he made his way to the pool house in what was arguably not a straight line. Fortunately no one stopped him to converse, which was good because he really had to pee.

It was with a heavy sigh that Samuel finally got some relief, and he hated to think that with the exception of Colleen practically in his lap, easing the pressure in his bladder could be considered the highlight of his day. A sad state of affairs, he mused, but fortunately the party was almost over. He had made it out relatively unscathed, with a few jabbing remarks from Nelson that his friend Mark seemed highly supportive of.

What a bunch of assholes.

Hoping that he would remain in the clear until Linda declared it time to leave, Samuel began heading out of the pool house but stopped with his hand on the doorknob leading to the outside. He heard a quiet, yet very familiar noise coming from the other room. He couldn't quite place it but it was something he knew he heard before.

With a frown Samuel moved towards the mystery noise, noticing how it grew progressively louder as he neared the changing rooms. He hadn't really thought about it too much, other than knowing he recognized it, but standing in front of one of the curtains and seeing shadows moving behind it the realization suddenly struck him.

They were the same noises from that night.

_ Colleen _ .

Afraid of what he might find, he ripped back the curtain and immediately felt sick to his stomach. It wasn't just Colleen, seated on the changing bench.

It was Colleen, moaning as her lips locked with a man over twice her age, an attractive man that currently had one of his hands down the bottom piece of her bikini and clearly had a finger or two inside her.

Fucking Mark Spitz and his toned calves.

The two jumped as the curtain pulled back, his daughter looking contrite and Mark looking smug. He stood, and then, much to Samuel's horror, had the audacity to suck off the fingers that had just been inside Colleen.

“You have a lovely daughter.” Mark's eye's glinted, and Samuel fought to suppress the urge to punch him in his perfect jaw. Mark chuckled at Samuel's glare, glancing at Colleen before stepping aside. “Gonna have to keep a tight leash on this one. Oh, now  _ there's _ a thought.”

Samuel couldn't bring himself to even imagine that, blood rushing to his head as his rage built. Mark blew Colleen a kiss before scooting past Samuel and leaving the pool house, laughing as he did so. Suddenly Samuel and Colleen were alone.

Samuel looked down at his daughters crimson cheeks, eyes wandering down her body to the splayed legs she abruptly snapped shut. His eyes caught hers for a brief moment before she looked away and began fidgeting with her hands. Sighing, he sat next to her on the bench, the small space meaning his hip pressed against hers. She made no effort to scoot away.

They sat next to each other, silent, for several minutes. Samuel finally put his head in his hands, trying not to think about what he just saw and the fact he could still  _ smell  _ her. A pathetic noise coming from beside him made him look up from his hands, and he was surprised to see tears had formed in Colleen's eyes. She wiped at them, trying to hide it, but the small sobs she produced could not be stopped.

“Colleen...” he said gently, placing a hand on her bare thigh. At any other time that action would have caused him great discomfort, but he knew what she needed then was a father and dammit if he wasn't going to be that for her. She stared up at him with wide eyes, her makeup smudged.

“I-I'm sorry, Dad, I...h-he caught Josh and I making out, and-”

A realization dawned on him. “Wait a minute. Is that what you got up to do, to go make out with Josh?”

Colleen gave a pathetic nod. Samuel felt his blood boiling, unable to control the rush of anger building again. “So you specifically came in here to fool around. And then what, Mark caught you with his son and said 'Hey, forget him, why don't we screw around instead?'”

He hadn't meant to sound quite so nasty, only really noticing at the particularly awful sob Colleen made. She wiped her eyes again, smearing the mascara. “B-basically.”

Samuel clenched his jaw. He had to choose his next words carefully, not wanting to upset her further but longing for some sort of explanation for her behavior. He could understand Josh; he could even accept that. But Mark?

“Ah, er, and you said yes? I think he's older than I am, you know.”

Colleen shrugged. “I like older guys,” she mumbled.

This was news to Samuel. He didn't exactly keep tabs on who she pursued or slept with, but older men had never been something she expressed an interest in. It struck him in an odd way, and he wondered for a brief moment if that meant he'd have a chance with her, if only she weren't…

“I...didn't know that,” Samuel said slowly, his grip unconsciously tightening on her thigh. “But Josh isn't much older.”

Colleen shrugged again. “It's not a requirement, just a preference.”

Samuel knew he was in dangerous territory but felt like he had to press further. “Even though he's got gray hair?”

Colleen smiled a little. “Mm, I like gray hair sometimes. It looks distinguished.”

_ Distinguished _ . Samuel thought of his own hair and the implications. He had one more question, and he was almost afraid to ask, but he figured better to be disappointed than not to know. “Is it because he's so athletic?” he asked, staring at the floor. He felt her look at him quizzically, then heard her laugh.

“No. I mean, he's strong, yeah, which is...nice...” She looked mildly uncomfortable. “But I don't care about a guy being buff or working out or whatever.”

Samuel nodded, feeling relieved. “That's...good...” he said, realizing after he said it how strange it must have sounded. He cleared his throat. “I, ah, I just want you to be careful. You can't sleep with...with everyone.”

Colleen rolled her eyes. “I know. I don't. I...I'm sorry if I disappointed you.”

Samuel sighed again, staring down at his fingers as they stroked her thigh. He could not think of a response. He glanced over at her as she took his hand in hers, bringing it to her lips for a tender kiss. She looked up at him as though pleading for his acceptance, something which he was all too happy to give her and he turned to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you, Dad,” she whispered, leaning against his shoulder.

“I love you too, Colleen.”

She was going to be the death of him.


	3. Chapter 3

They were getting a divorce.

That fact kept echoing in Samuel’s mind over and over as he paced in his office, his steps quick and panicked.  His anxiety was greater than it had ever been, and he cursed himself for stopping therapy years ago and stopping regularly refilling the medication that would have helped in this instant.  He could not believe this was truly happening.  He didn't want to lose another wife.

It was fact that he never truly loved Linda, not in the way one should love their spouse, but he had rather gotten used to having her around and the thought of that void opening up again filled him with dread.  How had it even come to this?  Fortunately he still had Colleen.

Yes, Colleen, he thought; she was the entire reason for this unfortunate change to even be occurring.  It was not her fault, and he never wanted his daughter to think that he didn't love her above all else.  This had been entirely him, brought on by a few poor decisions culminating in one major one that had been his undoing.  He remembered it so clearly.

Samuel had called her into his bedroom, half expecting her to ignore him and go about her business. Much to his pleasant surprise, she came readily, greeting him in the doorway with a cheerful smile. He gazed at her with adoration as he sat on the bed, trying not to let his intentions show. He was nervous, incredibly so, but he wasn’t about to let that stop him; now was as good of a time as any to make his feelings known.

He called her over to him, asking her to close the door. She looked perplexed as he beckoned her closer until she was standing between his spread legs. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head against her abdomen, pleased when she began to relax the muscles that had tensed at his brazen display of affection. Soon his fingers clawed at the hem of her shirt at her back; feeling daring, he dipped them underneath in order to feel her smooth skin against his.

Knowing full well the noise he made had been aloud, Samuel panicked as she pulled back to stare down at him. He avoided eye contact, letting her go and dropping his hands to his sides, praying she would write this off as a lapse in judgment and not hate him for it. Suddenly, however, her moist lips touched his, and there was an urgency in her kiss that he did not expect.

Samuel groaned into her open mouth as their kiss deepened, tongues sliding against each other as the mutual arousal grew. Feeling oddly confident, he grabbed her hips and, standing, threw her gently onto the bed where she smiled as she bounced slightly. He climbed atop her curvaceous body, nipping and sucking at her neck and pleased to feel her squirm beneath him.

Soon his hands were back under her shirt, removing it and tossing it onto the floor along with her bra. His hungry mouth found her breast; he felt his pants grow tight as she moaned and held his head in place. He reached between them and fumbled with the button on her jeans, trying desperately not to let his nerves get the better of him. This was really happening.

Part of him was inwardly screaming, feeling guilty about subjecting his daughter to this. This was his fantasy, not hers, and despite her confession of an interest in older men the fact remained that he was still her father. There was no logical reason for him to touch her in this manner, and yet he felt as though he could not stop. She certainly was not trying to stop him; perhaps she wanted it as well. It wasn't as though she could easily tell him if she'd been having those kinds of thoughts just as he could not tell her. Yet here they were, indulging in this primal carnal desire without fear of repercussion.  It was exhilarating.

Pulling her jeans down just over her hips, Samuel was able to slip his hand inside to run his fingers over the thin cotton of her underwear. He stroked her clit through the fabric and enjoyed her whimpers, thinking back to the pool house and how he wanted her to enjoy him touching her more than goddamn Mark Spitz. He slid his hand under the waistband, dipping a finger inside of her and oh  _ God _ she was already so wet. She did want him.

He wanted to take her so badly, feeling his erection growing as he continued teasing her with his fingers. Nearly two years since he'd been this hard, this worked up for sex. Even the thought of how good she would feel made him twitch; he removed his hand from her underwear, staring down at her flushed face as she looked at him full of expectation and need. Remembering the pool house again, he lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked off his fingers, finding the delightful taste exactly what he would have expected from his beautiful daughter.

She had bitten her plump lip staring up at him, the expression enough to drive him wild. He made quick work of removing her jeans and underwear, then hastily removed his own clothes and threw them aside. Any other time he might have kept them on, given how badly he wanted to be inside of her, but this time was different. This was their first time together, and he wanted her to feel all of him, skin to skin. He wanted to feel her, too, the warmth and smoothness pressing into him as he took her. As he made her his.

Practically salivating, Samuel climbed back atop her, letting his body glide against hers. She shuddered as his cock slid against her thigh; he nipped her earlobe and palmed her breast until she was nearly begging and writhing beneath him. He still couldn't believe this was truly happening. His precious Colleen.

Gently he pushed inside of her, allowing her to feel his length and groaning at just how hot and wet she was. She felt incredible, both the soft skin against his own and the tightness around his now throbbing cock. He placed his forehead on her shoulder and gripped her hips, beginning rhythmic thrusts that made her whine in pleasure. He could feel the pressure already building but maintained a slow pace, wanting to prolong this moment for an eternity if he could. His darling girl.

“Colleen,” he choked out, burying his face in her neck as he clutched at her small body. He wanted to hear her say it, he needed to hear her say his name. He needed to be this for her.

But suddenly the body that had been moving with his thrusts went very still. He could hear her breathing quicken, could feel her tense and shrink back into the bed. He didn't understand; what had he done wrong?

He looked down into her big brown eyes to find that they weren't brown at all, they were a lighter hazel. And her beautiful recently dyed auburn hair had somehow become blonde, speckled with grey.

Reality suddenly sunk in. It was Linda.

He had called Linda in to sleep with her, unable to control his burning desire and needing release.

And then called her by Colleen's name.

_ Shit _ .

“What did you say?” Linda's voice was low and shaky, as though she was having difficulty processing what she just heard. Samuel began to stammer, opening and closing his mouth and frustrated when no excuse would come out. He had no excuse.

Linda looked up at him for a few moments, then placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away roughly. “Get  _ off  _ of me!” she barked, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around herself as he stumbled back. He felt very vulnerable then, standing in the middle of the bedroom completely naked while she glared at him and shook her head. “I should have known...” she muttered, placing her head in her hand.

“Known...known what?” Samuel asked, trying and failing to feign innocence. She looked up at him again and threw a pillow which he did not dodge.

“You know what!” she all but spat. “You- I always thought it was odd that you still let her kiss you on the lips, but I always ignored it because I thought that's just how you all coped. But then I saw you at the picnic, and- and the way you  _ looked  _ at her, and then how you let her lay with you like that, and then this! Oh, now this takes the cake.” Linda laughed in disbelief; something seemingly had snapped inside of her. “I wondered how you finally managed to keep it up. I thought it was pills, but no- no, you were thinking about your  _ daughter _ the entire time!”

Samuel hung his head in shame. There was no denying it, any of it. He balled his fists at his sides, wanting badly to make this right but knowing deep down he had crossed a line and there was no turning back. He opened his mouth in a lame attempt to defend himself, or at least to offer some sort of apology, when Linda said the very thing he had been dreading.

“I want a divorce.”

Samuel's head snapped up, their eyes meeting for the first time since his slip. Linda had tears streaming down her face but still wore a look of complete and utter resolve. He sighed heavily and gulped, nodding slowly; what else was there to say? Nothing could take back what he had done. She was going to go through with it no matter what stupid excuse he tried to provide.

“Can- can I make a request?” he asked meekly as she began to locate her clothes and get dressed. She glowered at him.

“I don't think you're in a position to be making requests.”

“Please!” Samuel nearly shouted, exasperated. “Just- just don't tell Colleen. I'm begging you, please.”

Linda looked at him for a long time; Samuel felt her judging him, wondering why she'd ever agreed to marry him in the first place and knowing she should have listened to Nelson and done better. It was uncomfortable, but he felt deserving of it. He had screwed up.

“...Fine,” Linda said finally. Samuel gave a small relieved sigh, but it was cut short when she continued. “I'm going to let you ruin your relationship with her on your own.”

That night Samuel spent hours in his office but not on work as he should have. He plugged in the old external hard drive he hadn't touched in ages, glad that it still worked, and started going through old family photos beginning from when Colleen was a baby. Many of the photos contained his late first wife, which hurt even more, but that night he was focused on Colleen. It took hours but he combed through thousands of photos, smiling at the memories both good and bad.

Sometime around midnight he had nearly finished, ending on pictures he had taken at Colleen's high school graduation. She was even genuinely smiling in a few, glad to be done with that shithole as she had put it, and it pleased Samuel to see her so full of life. He felt himself start to get aroused again, his previous hard-on still unsatisfied. He stared at the picture of his daughter, wanting so badly to hold her to him but terrified of losing her. Linda's words were heavy on his mind; he couldn't bear the thought of ruining their relationship. He just couldn't.

These memories flooded Samuel's mind as he paced.  They were going to sit down with Colleen and Bella shortly to explain the situation, something he was not looking forward to in the slightest.  As much as he longed to tell Colleen the truth about what had happened and about his feelings he knew Linda was right; he would irrevocably corrupt everything he had.  But the feelings grew stronger every day, and now without Linda as a distraction and source of reason he knew he soon would be unable to contain himself.  He hated to admit it, but he needed help.

 

August was quite possibly the worst month of the year. It was either too hot without being summer or too crisp without being fall, failing to fit perfectly into either season. All of the summer shops were starting to close down; the beaches were less crowded; kids and parents started preparing for back-to-school. Yet the leaves hadn't changed, apple cider wasn't being marketed in abundance, and pumpkin spice hadn't become a dietary staple. Something about the month just wasn't quite right.

Colleen had always felt like she identified most with August out of all the months. She never quite fit in either, too much of a tomboy for the boys to like her or too pretty for the girls to want to be her friend. Most of her life had been spent in various phases trying to please the largest group of people she could just to fit in. The trouble was, it never worked out the way she intended. She always ended up alone, wondering how people could be so shallow and petty.

Not all people, though; not her mother. Her mother was the light of her life, her raison d'être both literally and figuratively. Every time Colleen would undergo a dramatic transformation of both clothing and demeanor, her mother would simply smile and shake her head. She told Colleen time and time again that it didn't matter what everyone else wore or how everyone else acted; it only mattered for Colleen who  _ Colleen  _ was and what she wanted to wear and do.

At the end of Colleen’s final year of middle school her mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer.  The prognosis was not good, the doctors said, and her mother’s rapid deterioration supported this.  Within two months her mother was in hospice, unable to take care of herself.  Colleen and Samuel visited as often as they could, but some days it was just too difficult; some days Colleen couldn’t be sure if her mother even recognized her.  Those days hurt the most.

It was one of the days that Colleen couldn’t deal with seeing her that Samuel went alone, and when he returned she couldn’t help but notice his red, puffy eyes and how pale he appeared.  She immediately began to panic; her father never cried.  This entire ordeal had been draining and deeply upsetting, but she had never seen him cry.  It could only mean one thing.

It was as she had feared;  her mother was simply too far gone, he said.  He wanted to call her, he said, to bring her for one last visit, but her insistence on staying home and the distance to the hospice had prevented him from doing so.  There hadn’t been enough time.  Her mother was gone, and she never even had a chance to say goodbye.  She never would.

They buried her in August.

Colleen still remembered every vivid detail of the service. It was raining, naturally, the grey sky the perfect setting for such a somber event. She remembered choking back her disdain for the priest's speech, hating the way he insisted her soul would live on eternally. Colleen knew better; she knew her mother was dead, soon to be rotting in the ground. There was no God there.

Losing a parent was the most excruciating thing that had ever happened to Colleen, and for a long time she began to fear losing the other.  Her father was in good health and took relatively decent care of himself, but things like car accidents and cancer didn’t care about that.  She grew more and more attached to Samuel in the following months, relishing in the fact that he needed her, too.  When he married Linda, Colleen felt a part of her was lost, a part of her that had him all to herself.  She longed for that part of her to become whole again.

Yet here she stood in the middle of the living room, looking at the empty spaces where Linda and Bella’s items had once been.  It had been largely decorations, but it somehow felt less like a home and more like a place she happened to live.  She wouldn’t admit to liking Linda and Bella; she wasn’t particularly fond of either of them or how they treated her, though she knew much of that she brought upon herself.  Having them around had brought her father happiness, however, and the fact that this family too was now broken sat like a lead weight in her chest.  She had him all to herself once more, but she didn’t expect it to feel like this.

Colleen was so lost in her somber thoughts that she didn't even notice the tears beginning to form.  She blinked at her sudden blurred vision and the sudden wetness on her cheeks, choking on a laugh upon realizing she cared more for these people than she ever knew.  Struck with a sudden feeling of loneliness, she quickly wiped at her eyes and trudged across the carpet into the kitchen.  That seemed emptier, too, as Linda had done much of the cooking, but the sight of her father waiting for a cup of coffee to brew made her smile.  She still had him.

“Hey…” Colleen said quietly, trying not to startle a man so deep in thought.  His expression when he turned was pensive, possibly upset, but he beamed when he saw her.

“Hey,” Samuel replied.  “I, uh, was just about to come look for you.”  Colleen peered at him, concerned, and he shook his head.  “Nothing is wrong, there's just something I wanted to talk to you about.  Sit down, please.”

Colleen grabbed a chair at the kitchen table to which he had gestured, sitting and trying to wait patiently for whatever it was he wanted to tell her.  She still couldn't help but think she might have been partly responsible for Linda and Bella's sudden departure; the last thing she needed right now was for the only constant in her life to scold her.  Biting her lip, she stared up at him as he carried two mugs over to the table.  He faltered when he caught her eye, his gaze drifting down to her mouth for a brief moment before he cleared his throat and set one steaming mug in front of her.

Looking down at the liquid inside, Colleen could tell it was tea.  She smiled a bit despite herself; throughout her childhood and adolescence Samuel had often made her tea to calm her when she was upset.  She looked up at him as he smiled over the rim of his coffee cup.  “Chamomile?”

Samuel nodded, sipping his coffee before setting it aside.  “Of course.”

Colleen could feel his eyes on her as she picked up the mug with both hands, the sleeves of her oversized sweater wrapped in her palms as protection from the heat.  She sipped the tea with glee, delighting at the pleasant taste and the heat warming her throat.  She found herself drinking it more quickly than intended, downing about half of the mug before Samuel spoke again.

“Colleen, I...I know this has been a hard time for you- for both of us,  I know you’re not going to admit that, but I can tell you've been crying.”  Colleen paused, dipping her face lower into the mug and praying her hair would cover her eyes.  Samuel pursed his lips and continued. “I know now isn't the time to really be thinking about parties or anything like that, but I think doing something fun might be good for us.”

Colleen blinked up at him, setting down her cup.  A party?  He couldn't possibly be thinking of hosting anything, could he? Who would they even invite?  Much of their family had been Linda's, and Colleen certainly didn't have any friends, and it wasn't as though Samuel ever got together with a group of guys after work.  It didn't make any sense.

Samuel took in a deep breath, fingers playing with the handle on his mug as he sighed.  “Look, the- the firm I work for is having a party.  Things have been going really well so they wanted to do something fancy.  It's a formal event,  not quite black tie but definitely upscale, with a dinner and dancing and everything.  I wasn't going to go, I don't like going alone to these sorts of things, but then I wondered if- if perhaps you would come with me.”

Colleen was unsure how to answer.  Her father effectively wanted her to be his date for a workplace dance, that was how she interpreted this.  She liked parties, but the thought of a dance for a bunch of nerdy accountants made her squirm.  Yet the thought of dancing with her father, of spending an evening with him, made her heart soar.

He was looking at her now, his expression practically pleading.  She bit her lip again, noticing how he gulped.  “So it's really fancy?  So I get to dress up?”  Samuel nodded.  “I don't, um, I don't have any dresses that nice that still fit…”

Samuel smiled, reaching across the table to take her hand in his.  “It isn't for another couple of weeks.  We can go shopping.  I probably need something too, honestly, I think my only good white shirt is still covered in coffee stains.”

Colleen laughed softly.  “I'd love to go, Dad.”

He looked relieved and thankful, smiling and taking another sip of coffee as though trying to hide how broad his grin was.  Colleen shuddered at the sensation of his thumb stroking her hand, the motion sending an odd feeling through her reminiscent of the one from the picnic when she lay next to him by the pool.  She did not pull away, however, and focused on finishing her tea, eyes fixated on the man who was once more her everything.

 

Despite everything that had happened as of late, Samuel was in a good mood.  He had finally started to enjoy the lack of Linda's nagging in his life, his house was in a more comfortable slight state of disarray, and, above all, he had Colleen to himself.

He had been thrilled when she agreed to go to this stupid work soirée with him, a function which he would have gladly avoided had his boss not insisted he make appearance.  It hadn't been until his boss suggested he bring Colleen that he agreed to go, and he had spent the entire rest of the day fretting that she would decline.  Thinking back on it, he chided himself for being so concerned; Colleen usually pounced on any chance she could to spend time outside of the house.  The fact that she was able to dress up was an added bonus.

He was nervous about taking her shopping, that was for sure.  He hadn't seen her in a dress since she went to prom, and though he couldn't pinpoint it then he could look back now and see that he found her unbelievable stunning in the long gown.  He groaned as he sat in his desk chair, wondering what she might pick out for this occasion.  Not that he had any say in the matter, but he secretly hoped it was blue.  He always thought she looked amazing in blue.  Perhaps something with a bit of a sweetheart neckline, something that flared out over her full hips...

Samuel winced as he noticed the effect his daydreams were having, turning back to his laptop and the research he had been conducting.   _ This is why you're doing this,  _ he reminded himself as he sighed and crossed another name off of his carefully created list.  He promised himself he would try to find help for what was steadily becoming a sexual obsession with his daughter, but everything he found thus far had looked useless.

Some websites offered rigorous psychotherapy as a solution; others cited religious salvation as the key, while others still suggested in no uncertain terms that medication was the only means of suppressing the urges.  It all sounded too extreme or like it wouldn't work at all, and Samuel had no time for empty promises or to be labeled a deviant.  All he wanted was to live a normal life with Colleen, one where she would curl up with him and kiss him and never know the other thoughts he was having.

Was it really so bad, though, to have these desires?  Samuel certainly didn't think so, not really.  Sure pretty much everyone else would think him wrong, but it wasn't hurting anyone for him to pine for his daughter in this way.  Colleen didn't seem perturbed by his affections; rather, she returned them eagerly. Hers, however, were nothing more than an overly attached daughter caring for her father and nothing more.  The thought of his beloved finding out how badly he wanted her and in what way made him feel nauseous.  He could never left her know.

Rubbing his weary eyes, Samuel looked down at the list of names he had made during his initial cursory search.  So far he had crossed off eleven doctors and locations, and he already knew the last one was likely a bust.  When he added it to the list he knew it probably wasn't worth looking at given the enormous expense and distance, but the website was well done and the reviews raved about past successes.

He had stumbled upon it looking at longer term solutions, ones where he had to forcibly be away from Colleen for weeks or even months to deal with things.  It wasn't a facility, but rather a community “designed and developed specifically to encourage individuals and their families to use naturally effective strategies in coping with the hardships and struggles we face in this life.”  The man who originally created it was still in charge, and though he presented no academic credentials Samuel felt as though he might actually know what he was doing.  Reviews were limited but they were all five stars; no one had anything negative to say.

It sounded too good to be true, but the remote midwestern community had been around for over ten years and claimed to help anyone dealing with problems ranging from sexual addiction to gambling to alcoholism.  It required an application for acceptance, and a steep down payment for housing and treatment; in fact, it would take nearly all of Samuel's meager life savings to stay there.  Yet there was something about the quaint little town that seemed so appealing.

Could he do it, though?  Could he really uproot himself and Colleen and move halfway across the country just to preserve the innocence of their relationship?  There was no guarantee he would even get in if he applied; he highly doubted they were in need of an accountant among their ranks, but he thought maybe if he explained the situation as honestly as possible he might have a chance.  It wasn't as though anything tied him to this area anyway, and the memories held in this house had long grown stale.

It was decided, then.  He would write up an application and tell them everything, from Colleen's troubled adolescence to his growing infatuation with her.  It was a long shot, but as Samuel looked at the other options he had crossed out he felt like this was his last hope.

His entire future with Colleen rested upon acceptance into Happy Meadows.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the continued feedback! I appreciate it more than you know :)

Samuel was a bundle of nerves as he prepared for the party being hosted by the accounting firm for a myriad of reasons. First, he hated parties. He was never much good at small talk, even with people he saw nearly every day; it all just seemed so pointless. The thought of spending two to four hours wrapped up in inane chatter about the weather and how so-and-so’s children were doing in school and on their recreational sports teams, all the while ignoring divisive but far more interesting topics such as politics and religion, made his stomach clench. What a waste of an evening.

Second, he knew upper management was sure to be in attendance. His direct boss, the one who insisted he go, had made it clear in no uncertain terms earlier that week that Samuel’s performance was lacking and he needed to do something to remedy the situation or risk a formal write-up. He had to put on a good show to at least make it seem like he cared about his job, despite the immense distractions from his personal life that made this difficult. And this brought him to reason number three.

Colleen. She was the light of his life, but as of late she had been all he could think about. He thought that submitting the application for Happy Meadows would bring him some semblance of relief, but it was quite the opposite; it seemed as though the instant he hit  _ Send _ he became more preoccupied with Colleen than ever. She dominated his every waking thought and, more often than not, showed up in his dreams as some variation of a scantily clad nymph in rather compromising positions. He had more orgasms in the past few weeks than he had the prior year, probably even longer. He felt young and invigorated, but frustrated at the same time. She was becoming a distraction.

Samuel had not realized his performance at work had been suffering due to his near constant daydreams, but the signs were there. He spent more time than necessary exchanging texts with his cooped up daughter during the day, and he called her at least once every afternoon. The worst of it, however, were the days that his daydreams drifted into sexual territory. Only so many laps around the building and splashes of cold water on his face were reasonable, and once those failed his thoughts became almost a burden. When combined with the sound of her light and pleasant voice during their chats, the urge for release was nearly unbearable. He hated to admit the number of times he quietly took care of himself in the men’s room.

His anxiety ran high as he thought about Colleen accompanying him to the party. He was a bit afraid of being too obvious, of not being able to keep his hands off of her even in manners most innocent, or of staring at her too intently. He was afraid someone would figure him out.

Samuel thought back to the trip to the mall, where he had bought a new dress shirt and tie and Colleen had picked out a dress. Much to his displeasure, she insisted they separate so she could keep the dress a surprise until the day of the party. He reluctantly gave her cash and let her do her own thing, but the fact remained that he wished he had some sort of warning as to what the dress looked like. He wanted to keep his reaction as natural as possible.

Wearing tan slacks and a white button-down, Samuel grabbed his tie and left his bedroom for the living room. He had tried to put it on several times unsuccessfully, as it had been quite some time since he had worn one, and needed to find his phone to watch an instructional video. It was somewhat embarrassing, but he would be the first to admit that his fashion sense was rather nonexistent. He only hoped he could figure it out before they had to leave.

He had just located a decent looking video and pushed play while standing in front of the living room mirror when an unexpected motion caught his eye. He glanced up from his phone into the reflection and saw Colleen emerge from the hallway, ready to go and shoes in hand. His jaw nearly dropped.

She was stunning.

Time and care had obviously been put into her appearance. Her hair held its shape better than usual; the eyeliner she wore made her eyes appear innocently wide yet sultry; the lipstick she wore was a deep red that complemented her pale skin without looking whorish. And the dress- the dress was a beautiful periwinkle, a strapless gown that flared out and came to just above the knee, accentuated with a black bow at the waist. She held in her hand a pair of black pumps with heels appropriate for her five-foot-three frame, and she dropped them on the couch before walking over to where he stood.

Samuel fumbled with the tie, trying to keep his eyes on the video but not really comprehending what it was trying to tell him. It was on the third time he failed that he heard Colleen let out a small laugh.

“Here, let me,” she said, and the feeling of her hand on his shoulder to turn him sent a shiver down his spine. He stopped the video and adjusted to face her, trying to focus on her cute look of concentration as she fixed the tie even though he could nearly see down her dress from this angle. “You never were very good at this...” she muttered with a gentle smile; Samuel could only stare down at her and gulp as her fingers brushed his neck. When she finished she patted his chest, beaming up at him. “There. Now you’re ready.”

Samuel let out a small relieved noise, pocketing his phone as Colleen walked over to the couch and slipped into her heels. She turned towards him, fixing her hair in the mirror for a moment before meeting his eyes. “Well...how do I look?” She did a small twirl, stumbling a bit on the carpet before posing and feigning grace. Samuel’s mouth felt very dry.

“Like an angel,” he whispered. Colleen simply rolled her eyes.

“ _ Dad _ ...”

There was a long pause during which Samuel became acutely aware of his own heart hammering in his chest.  He was so sure Colleen must hear it, yet she continued to stand before him looking as though she wondered why they had not yet departed.  He was going to have to take care to mind his thoughts that evening, or else risk dire consequence.

Samuel cleared his throat. “We, ah, we should get going. Shall we?”

Colleen’s smile was infectious, and despite his nerves he could not help but grin as she linked arms with him and they began their evening journey.

 

_ This party sucks. _

Unfortunately for Colleen, her predictions about what happened when a group of accountants such as her father gathered in a room were all too readily coming true.  Everyone had broken off into small introverted groups, barely speaking to anyone outside of their little social circle.  The music was terrible, no one was dancing, and there was a distinct lack of alcohol save for wine which, she noticed, her father consumed gladly.  She typically loathed even the smell of the stuff, but that night she was sorely tempted to sneak a drink or seven.  The best thing by far had to be the food; it was fancy enough to be delicious but not so fancy as to be disgustingly inedible.

It was with this thought that Colleen shoved another crab cake hors d'oeuvre into her mouth, quickly followed by a piece of bacon wrapped filet.  She washed it all down with a large goblet of sparkling cider and was reaching for the mini quiches when she heard someone clear their throat behind her.  Assuming it was her father, as no one else had given her the time of day since their arrival, she laughed it off as she turned to face him.

“Oh come on, if they're going to shell out money for this stupidly expensive food shouldn't I be able to eat...it…”

It was her father, but Samuel had not come alone.  Standing with him was a rather important looking handsome gentleman in a full suit with his arm around the waist of a lovely woman in what nearly qualified as a ball gown that Colleen presumed must be his wife.  Colleen opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking from Samuel to them and back to her clearly mortified father; she must have just made an ass of herself in front of someone highly esteemed.  This was shaping up to be a wonderful evening.

“Um, Colleen, this is- I'd like you to meet my supervisor, William Carmichael,” Samuel said quietly and in a way that took Colleen by surprise.  She knew he was not the most confident man in the world, but introducing his boss he seemed like such a different and meek person.  It bothered her on some level.

Colleen smiled at the man, trying to save face after what she knew was a rude comment to make in front of someone who might have had a say in the budget and food selection.  She extended her hand politely, half expecting him to ignore it but thankful when he captured it in his strong grip and gave it a firm shake.  “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Carmichael.”

Much to her surprise, he laughed.  “Please, call me Bill.  Your father here is the only one who finds it necessary to use my full name.”  Samuel glanced away with a small gulp; Colleen grinned.

“Oh, well, you know my dad,” she chuckled, “Always super polite.”

Bill joined her with a hearty bellow for a few moments that seemed to do nothing to ease Samuel's nerves.  Colleen stepped over to her father and placed a subtle reassuring hand on his forearm as his boss regained composure.

“Yes, he certainly is that!  Oh and speaking of polite, where are my manners?  This is my darling wife, Vanessa.  She helped plan the menu for the party.”

_ Oops _ .

The woman seemed less than thrilled to be there, and even less than that interested in this particular conversation, and when Colleen extended a friendly hand she did not take it.  Bill gave Colleen an apologetic look before another company member caught his attention; he excused himself before leading Vanessa away to join another group.  Colleen frowned.

“Well that was...quick,” she mumbled, looking up at Samuel.  “Did you piss him off earlier or something?”

Samuel gave her that look, the one that said despite what he may have done she was in the wrong.  She grinned sheepishly and shrugged, using the awkward silence to finally grab that mini quiche only to have her father pluck it from her fingers and eat it whole.  She pouted, wondering if he was upset with her, when the lights suddenly dimmed and the music slowed.  She recognized it immediately as a lame attempt to get people out onto the dance floor.  It seemed to be working, however, and slowly couples began to make their way to the middle of the room.

Colleen grinned, taking Samuel's hand in hers and tugging him in the direction of the dancers.  He dug his heels in and stopped her almost immediately, causing her to nearly trip in her heels.  She frowned at him.

“Come on!” she implored, giving his hand another firm pull but he would not budge.

“No, Colleen, I-I…”

“Please?”

That was, apparently, actually the magic word.  Samuel sighed heavily but nodded, reluctantly following her onto the dance floor.  Colleen almost skipped with glee, dragging him to the very center and standing in front of him.  He seemed hesitant when she placed her hand on his shoulder, but as the music picked up he gingerly placed one hand on her waist and took her free hand with the other.

The first song was lively enough, something easy to sway to without being a slow dance. Colleen laughed as she tricked Samuel into giving her a twirl; surprisingly he laughed as well, albeit much more quietly.  For the first time that evening she felt like she was enjoying herself, and enjoying seeing her father come out of his shell even if for a moment.

The next song began to play and the tempo noticeably changed.  This was much slower, a love song, and Colleen could feel Samuel bristle beside her.  He began to let go of her when she pressed in close and threw her arms around his neck.  She could feel his pulse racing, hear his ragged breathing.

“Colleen…” he whispered, attempting to disengage but she would not let go.  She said nothing, just buried her face in his chest and listened to his heartbeat until he placed a hand on either side of her waist.  After awhile he began to relax, and soon she could feel him stroke her side, running his hand over her waist and hip.  It felt intimate yet oddly comfortable.  She clutched his shirt in her fists, noticing for the first time that his tie was navy with white polka dots and looked a lot like her favorite swimsuit.  It had to be a coincidence, but she pretended it was not.  She only hoped she was on his mind that much.

Two more songs went by and Colleen's heels were beginning to hurt; she reluctantly pulled back and kissed his nose.  “I'm going to go freshen up,” she shouted over the music, making a point to run her hand over his tie and bask in the warmth of his smile before searching for a bathroom.

The rented conference center, however, was far from clear about where that might be.  She checked down a few hallways before she gave up and started randomly opening doors, none of which were fruitful.  With a loud groan she realized she had found the door to the coat closet and was about to slam it shut when she felt someone come up behind her, a tall masculine figure that pressed into her back and brushed hair from her shoulder so she could feel his breath on her neck.  The man planted a firm kiss on her jawline, and she could feel him grinning as he spoke.

“Shall we?”

 

Samuel knew the white-knuckled grip he held on the steering wheel could not be good for either his hands or the wheel, but he did not care.  The evening had gone to hell in a handbasket and it had been through no fault of his own, yet he was the one who would likely have to pay the consequences come Monday morning.  He was absolutely livid.

He knew Colleen had been gone to freshen up for longer than necessary, but he wrote it off as some sort of female thing about spending too much time in front of a mirror and busied himself drinking another glass of wine.  Thinking back he really wished he had chosen the white, noting how the large burgundy stain on the front of his new shirt made it look as though he had been shot through the heart. He might as well have been.

About half of the glass had been consumed when yelling could be heard coming down the adjacent hallway.  It was difficult to make out at first, but as an irate Vanessa and an apologetic William came into view he could finally understand what they were saying.  It seemed as though William had been unfaithful at the party, had slept with someone else, and Vanessa made a show of shaming him publicly.  Dread filled Samuel as he realized Colleen had still not returned; his darling girl couldn’t be so careless, could she?

Alas, she could.  Colleen peered in from behind the door frame, wincing as Vanessa turned to face her and point in accusation.  William did not deny it; neither did Colleen.  Samuel barely noticed the rest of his wine glass had spilled onto his shirt, and quite suddenly he found himself driving home with Colleen in tow.  He was not quite sure how they had gotten from point A to B except that he had grabbed Colleen by the arm and dragged her out as quickly as he could muster.

She had been silent ever since they got into the car, and a sidelong glance in her direction verified that tears were streaming down her cheeks.  Samuel was glad he had to focus on driving; he would have been torn between wanting to yell at her and wanting to comfort her.  He hated seeing her upset, but the truth of the matter was she had screwed up.  She had screwed up big time.

“D-Dad…” Colleen mumbled, voice barely above a whisper.  Jaw clenched, Samuel felt his grip on the wheel tighten almost to the point of being painful as his eyes narrowed and he began to lose focus on the road.

“You haven’t earned the right to say anything,” he said through gritted teeth; Colleen made an ugly choked sobbing noise and hung her head.  “This is my  _ job _ Colleen.  My livelihood.  I need this to support us- to support  _ you _ .  God, if they don’t find a reason to fire me…”

“T-they can’t just fire you because of that!  That’s not fair, that can’t be legal!”

“Life’s not always fair, Colleen,” he spat angrily.  “And I’ll have you know thing haven’t been going so well after dealing with the divorce and everything.”   _ And you _ .  “So yes, they probably can fire me.”

Colleen was sobbing freely now, wiping furiously at her tear-stained cheeks.  “I’m sorry, okay?”

Somehow hearing her apology hurt worse than if she’d said nothing.  “You’re  _ sorry _ ?  You’re not sorry for your actions at all, you’re only sorry because you got caught!  What the hell were you  _ thinking _ ?”

She was quiet for several moments; Samuel knew it was because it was true.  He had struck a nerve.  She wouldn’t have cared she slept with his boss if they were never found out, but now a spectacle had been made and she couldn’t handle the negative attention.  For the first time in a long time he saw her not as an object of his adoration but as a child, a child who never learned how to grow up.  Knowing it was largely his fault pained him more than she could ever understand.

“H...he…” Samuel looked over to where Colleen tried to speak, words interspersed with hiccups.  “H-he’s the o-one who...I-I didn’t a-ask him t-to-”

“I don’t fucking care, Colleen,” he snapped; he saw her eyes go wide.  He rarely ever cursed, and his use of colorful language had come to mean he was certainly in a foul mood and she knew this.  She looked away again, resting her head on the window in shame.  “God, I just- it’s been years of this, Colleen.  Years.  I’ve let you get away with so much, and I- I honestly don’t know what to do with you anymore.  I can’t- I can’t handle this.  I can’t.”

“Dad I’m sor-”

“No more talking.”

The car fell silent once more, punctuated only by Colleen’s occasional hiccup.

That night Samuel locked himself in his office, partly out of fury but partly so Colleen would not see him down two bottles of beer.  He swore he would not use alcohol as a crutch, but with Linda gone it was becoming far more difficult to honor that promise.  It was not enough to make him pass out by far, but enough for that calming buzz he needed in that moment.  What an awful night it had been.

He didn’t know how they were going to get past this.  Even if he still had a job come Monday, which the pessimistic part of him highly doubted, how the hell were they supposed to get over this hurdle?  It hurt him on so many levels he could barely keep them straight.

There was, of course, the fact that she slept with his boss of all people.  This was the man who controlled his occupational future and his very livelihood; moreover, he was married.  Colleen had even met his wife for Christ’s sake!  Yet she still thought it was an excellent idea to screw someone she barely knew who played such an important role in her father’s life.

That was another irritating thing; as a father, it pained Samuel to see his baby girl sleeping around so brazenly with pretty much anyone she met and found attractive.  He was completely certain that had he not walked in on her and Mark Spitz in the pool house she would have slept with him, too.  She was young and her libido was certainly high, but it was beyond that.  She was making poor decision after poor decision, and he truly worried she would end up pregnant.

Yet the worst of it all upset him in a twisted way that he did not even want to admit.  She was out sleeping with all these men, older men that she apparently found attractive, yet she never gave a thought to him.  He was her father; why would she?  But a very real part of him wished she would once, even just once, see him in that lustful light.  It was an unrealistic dream and he knew it.

It was time for a third beer.

Samuel popped the cap off and took a swig, finally closing several of the browser tabs he had open on his laptop.  He hovered over the one he brought up on a whim, the one where young women in schoolgirl outfits were pleasuring older gentlemen in a variety of videos, but ultimately he closed that one too.  He was in no mood.  Soon all that remained was his email; he slowly moved his cursor towards the close button, pausing to take another drink, when a quiet  _ ding _ came from the speakers.  He had a new message.

Glossy eyes moved across the page to land on the message.  The name seemed familiar but it just wasn’t clicking; was it actually important?  He glanced again.   _ Sharon Carpenter _ .  Something still wasn’t making the connection.  He glanced over at the subject line.   _ Happy Meadows: Application Accepted _ .

Samuel took another sip of beer.  Well that was nice of them, to accept his application.  It had been a few weeks since he’d sent it, after all, so it was quite thoughtful of them to get back to him and-

His eyes widened as he reread the line.

_ Application Accepted _ .

Samuel opened the email as quickly as he could while fumbling with the mouse and trying not to spill his beer, eyes scanning the congratulatory text multiple times in disbelief.  He’d gotten in.  He’d actually gotten in.

It was a lengthy email with several attachments, such as instructions on how to accept the offer should he choose to do so, how to transfer payment, and his choice of housing.  There was even a personalized letter from the founder expressing interest in working with Samuel on his predicament, but with the note that he might want to frame this move as being brought on by his daughter’s troubles should he wish his desires to remain secret.  Samuel was thankful for that; he wasn’t sure how he was going to tell Colleen they were moving halfway across the country to the middle of nowhere.  Particularly given her recent behavior, telling her it was her own doing seemed reasonable.  Maybe she’d even get some help while Samuel was dealing with his own issues.

He couldn’t tell if it was the email or the beer, but he went from being irate to elated.  Who cared if they fired him now; he would be leaving soon anyway.  It looked as though if payment were provided and he could deal with selling his house, he could be there in as little as three weeks.  Tight, but doable with Linda’s real estate contacts and high demand in the area.  He sat back in his chair, grinning.  Three weeks and he would finally get help.  Three weeks and he would finally be on his way to a normal life.

Now all he had to do was figure out how to break it to Colleen.

 

The trees passed by far more rapidly than Colleen would have liked.  It felt as though her entire life was being ripped away from her and the trees speeding past the car window were representative of that fact.  Her father practically hadn’t said a word to her since they got into the car except to ask for direction updates or what she wanted at the fast food place they stopped at for lunch.  She thought he was nuts to drive the twelve hours it would take to get to the town with little to no stopping, but he had his mind set on getting there that evening so they could spend their first night in their new home.  She could not find it in herself to be excited.

Not long after the party fiasco, Samuel had informed her in no uncertain terms that her behavior was out of control and they were going to go somewhere so she could deal with it properly.  Colleen protested, of course, citing the fact that as an adult he couldn’t make her go anywhere or do anything she did not want to do.  He made it quite clear that he was going with or without her, and if she wanted to stay and support herself with no degree or skills she could certainly try.  That shut her up for good.

What he did not know was how guilty she felt.  It wasn’t so much guilt for her actions, as they had been in the past quite enjoyable for her, but guilty that it had come to this.  She honestly did not care where she lived as long as she had him, but he was essentially being forced to give up everything he had worked for because of her bad behavior.  She wanted nothing more for him to be happy; she wanted them to be happy together.  She had disappointed him, and she had done it so well that here they were, moving across the country.

Colleen didn’t want to admit it, but she needed to be fixed, if only for her father’s sake.

So when the car pulled up to the well-kept sign marking the only entrance to the town, she tried her best to think of all the good this would do for them and not how badly she wanted to curl into a ball and cry.

_ Welcome to Happy Meadows _ .


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bit of a delay- not having power for two days makes writing difficult! Hope you enjoy it, things are starting to get even more interesting...
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!

The first night in their new home was one of the worst of Colleen's adult life.  They arrived late in the evening, when most of the town was asleep, and all she really remembered was some woman showing them their house before they were left alone.  She went almost immediately to bed, citing an overwhelming fatigue and desire to be alone. She spent most of the night, however, wide awake staring at the freshly painted crisp white ceiling, drifting in and out from one restless vivid dream to the next.  She wished she had fought her father when he insisted they accept the brand new furnishings that came with the house; at least if she had slept in her own bed perhaps she could have been afforded some degree of comfort. It was probably a combination of dumb luck and Samuel's good will that she'd been allowed to retain any of her possessions at all.

It was all happening far too quickly.  It took only a couple of weeks from the time Samuel received their acceptance to the selling of their home, the home Colleen had spent her entire life growing up in.  Days later their belongings had been picked up to be transported ahead of them. She wished he would have at least told her he had applied for this place; she still would have resisted, but the surprise and, to some degree, betrayal, had been eating away at near for nearly a month now.  How would she be able to trust him again?

These thoughts clouded Colleen’s mind as she stared at the ceiling, half-lidded eyes seeking comfort in the familiar imagery her exhaustion formed in the shadows.  She saw her favorite childhood stuffed rabbit, BunBun; her father, arms wide open as he returned from a long business trip; her mother, presenting her with a kitty-cat themed cake for her birthday; the three of them, cuddled together on the couch watching an old movie until Colleen’s tiredness won out and she drifted off…

“Colleen.   _ Colleen _ .  Wake up.”

Wake up, when she had barely gone to sleep?  Colleen giggled and snuggled against her father’s side, pushing the hand that shook her from her shoulders.

“Just five more minutes Daddy, movie’s not over yet anyway…”

The hand returned, giving her shoulder another firm shake.  “ _ Colleen _ you have to wake up.  It’s nearly time to go.”

Colleen blinked her eyes open, sitting up suddenly in what was now a very unfamiliar environment.  She was not at home on the couch watching a movie with her parents, but rather in a new house, in a new bed, surrounded by mountains of unpacked boxes.  Samuel sat next to her looking somewhat uncomfortable as she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head on his leg.

“Ah, good, you’re awake,” he said with a small smile.  “Come on, you need to get ready. You’re not going to have time to shower, unfortunately, so just find something presentable you can wear.  Oh and brush your hair. Please.”

Colleen yawned and ran her hand through her messy locks, noting Samuel’s disapproving stare as she mussed them even more.  “Where are we going?” She glanced over at her phone; the time read seven thirteen. Letting out an audible groan, Colleen rubbed her temples.  “New question: where are we going that I have to be up so goddamn early?”

“Language, Colleen!” Samuel hissed.  “Please, please don’t embarrass me today.  That is all I ask.” Colleen continued to stare at him, wondering why she had to be involved in whatever this was.  Samuel sighed. “It’s just a community service, Colleen, but we’re expected to go. They only have them once a week and they happen to start at eight o’clock sharp.  It’ll be a great chance for us to meet the other residents, and besides, it would look pretty terrible if we didn’t show.”

Colleen sat up further, mouth agape.  “Service? Is this some kind of church thing?”  Suddenly she became irate. “Did you sign me up for some ‘pray away the bad behavior’ camp?”

Samuel appeared flustered, shaking his head.  “Of course not! It’s just a, oh I don’t know, a gathering.  A town hall meeting. Come on, you need to get ready.” He stood, and Colleen noticed for the first time that he wore a striped long sleeved button-down tucked into his slacks, and he was wearing his good shoes.  Great, that meant she had to dress nice, too.

Groaning and rolling her eyes, she reluctantly slid out of bed.  “Okay, but I think they would’ve understood if we said we couldn’t make it.”

“Twenty minutes.”  Samuel looked down at his watch.  “Fifteen. No dawdling.”

With that he was gone, leaving a very annoyed Colleen to dig through boxes and locate a pair of dark jeans without holes in them and a nice button-down blouse that had belonged to her mother.  She never wore it because it hurt too much, but it was the only thing she brought that would even remotely pass as acceptable for this sort of gathering. She threw on some flats and made quick work of doing her hair and makeup before groggily stumbling out to the living room.

Samuel waited for her there, checking his watch every twenty to thirty seconds; he looked pleased when he saw her, though he faltered upon noticing her choice of blouse.  He didn’t even seem to listen when Colleen began to ask if there was going to be any food there, walking over to her as she babbled and stopping her whining with a stroke of his knuckles across her cheek.  Her voice caught in her throat at the gentle touch, as it was more affection than he had shown in the past month. A tender kiss on her forehead and she stopped talking entirely. She wanted to stay there, to bask in the comfort she had so missed, but another glance at his watch and he practically dragged her out the front door.  It seemed he was bent on attending this service after all.

The community center was in walking distance, as was most everything, and they joined the throng of people making their way inside.  Colleen looked around at everyone wearing what she could only describe as their Sunday best, and immediately felt out of place.  _ Not a church thing my ass _ .

And it wasn't, at least not really.  There was nothing religious about it, for which the agnostic Colleen was grateful, but at the same time it had preachy elements that made her uncomfortable.  She did not quite understand the point; this wasn't some weird cult, was it?

The service started out innocently enough, with an attractive young man named Brian doing most of the speaking.  It was largely dull administrative matters concerning happenings around town: birthdays, construction projects, school science fair, that sort of thing. Colleen felt herself begin to drift off against her father's warm and inviting arm, only to be jolted awake at his hiss.

She blinked, noticing that Brian had been replaced at the podium by the woman that had welcomed them late last night.  Colleen had already forgotten her name, but Samuel seemed to brighten when he saw her in a way that made Colleen dislike her without further information.  The woman took what seemed like ages in discussing some of the community outreach efforts that had been going on, including how many applicants they had received in the last month and how many were in the vetting process.  Then, without warning, she took on a more jovial tone and did the very thing Colleen had been dreading.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I want to introduce you to the two newest residents of Happy Meadows.  Please give a warm welcome to Samuel Bell and his daughter Colleen!” She gestured to where they sat but the room had already turned toward them and began to applaud, sensing outsiders in their midst.  Colleen tried to sink deeper into her seat, but Samuel pulled her up into a half standing position and awkwardly acknowledged everyone. “They're going to be staying in the newly renovated development on Second Street, so feel free to stop by and introduce yourselves!” the woman continued, and Colleen had to suppress a scowl; did she really just invite people to their home?  She really did not like this woman.

Aa few more minutes of babbling and she gave the floor back to Brian.  He thanked the woman- Sharon- for speaking, and welcomed Samuel “and family” to their town but all the while his eyes were fixated on Colleen.  She gulped and broke eye contact, but every time she looked back to the podium she found his gaze never left her. It was only for a matter of minutes, but the severity in his stare creeped her out enough to link arms with Samuel and look down at her shoes.

And then it was over.  It seemed rather short, like a key speaker was missing, and Colleen saw concern in Samuel's eyes that seemed to support this.  He had been expecting something more, someone else. She opened her mouth to ask who or what that was when everyone began standing and the level of chatter in the room increased exponentially.  Samuel stood as well, following the herd of people out of the main meeting room into a large room with couches and- oh thank god- refreshments. Colleen immediately honed in on a platter of what appeared to be fresh donuts, scooping one up and chomping into it eagerly.  It tasted better than anything had in a long time; she was hungrier than she realized.

“So you're the new girl,” a perky female voice interjected into her sugar-dazed thoughts.  She turned to see two young blondes, probably about her age, wearing frilly yet revealing sundresses and looks of superiority.  Colleen became acutely aware of her barely passable blouse and jeans and the fact that she was currently covering them in powdered sugar falling from the donut in hand.  Both of the girls seemed to notice as well.

“What are you here for?” the other inquired, as though this were a routine question asked at a summer camp or day spa.  Colleen swallowed the chunk of donut she had been chewing.

“I don't think that's really any of your business, is it?” she said flatly, earning a scowl from them both.

“Well now that's just rude!” said the second, feigning insult.

“What's your assignment, then?” asked the first, crossing her arms.

Colleen blinked.  Assignment? Samuel had not said anything about something like that; he would have certainly told her, right?  She must have appeared confused, because the girl laughed haughtily and spoke again.

“Your  _ job _ ?”

Colleen opened and closed her mouth.  She was supposed to have a job? The truth was that she'd never had a job in her life, and it made sense that her father would have one here, but was she supposed to as well?  She had no skills or training, that was for sure. What was she supposed to do?

The girls were narrowing their eyes at her somewhat quizzically when suddenly Brian appeared, stepping between them and putting an arm around each.  “Hello ladies!” he said with a cheerful grin, to which they both giggled; Colleen felt her stomach turn. “Making friends with our newest resident?”

“Hardly,” one replied, rolling her eyes in a way Colleen thought only happened in movies.

“She doesn't seem to have a job.  I thought everyone got one?”

Brian took a deep breath, eyeing Colleen with a look she did not comprehend nor appreciate.  “Yes, usually, but Liam decided she was a, ah, special case, so we’re still working things out.”

Who the hell was Liam?  Was that the guy her father had been hoping for earlier?  He sounded important, but if he was so important where was he?

“You can stop talking about me like I'm not here, you know.  I do have ears.”

The blondes bristled but Brian chuckled.  “Mm yes, I heard you were a bit... _ feisty _ .”

The way he was looking at her made Colleen fidget uncomfortably again, as though he was undressing her with his eyes.  She thought about politely excusing herself when a man bumped into her, causing her to drop the half of a donut she had left so that it left a trail of powdered sugar down her front until it hit the floor.  The man turned and bent to pick up the donut, immediately apologetic. “I am so sorry, I-” he looked her up and down, noticing the trail of white specks and grimaced. “Shit. I'm guessing you don't want to eat the rest of this...here, let me get you a napkin…”

The man locked eyes with Brian, and the air around them seemed to immediately drop several degrees.  They glared at each other for several seconds before either spoke; Colleen glanced between them, while the girls attached to Brian joined him in regarding this newcomer with disdain.

“Brian,” the man said through gritted teeth.

“Danny,” Brian responded curtly.  “How kind of you to wear a dress shirt for once.  Maybe next time you'll be able to ditch the jeans as well.”

Colleen looked down at Danny's jeans, which were, by comparison, worse off than hers.  She felt a little better about her fashion choice, but still didn't like how this confrontation was shaping up.  Danny remained silent, jaw clenched; Brian simply sneered, laughing as he walked away with a girl still under each arm.  Danny stared after them for several moments, during which Colleen gingerly began brushing off her shirt before he turned back to her and looked remorseful again.

“Oh shit, that's right, here.”  He handed Colleen a wad of napkins, running a hand through his silvery hair.  “I'm really sorry about that. It's Colleen, right?”

She nodded.  “It is. Thank you, though I really did this to myself.”

Danny smiled, and when Colleen looked up from brushing herself off she felt her heart skip a beat.  He wasn't necessarily conventionally attractive, a little rough around the edges, definitely much older than her, but he was  _ handsome _ .  When he smiled at her it extended to his piercing eyes and seemed genuine, unlike the interest of the others who had spoken to her.  His jeans were worn and faded and his cobalt dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up was clearly old and unbuttoned a bit too far exposing the white undershirt beneath, and she noticed when he handed her the napkins his hands were rough and calloused like he knew an honest day’s work.  She barely met the guy but something about him just seemed so down to earth and friendly, and she appreciated that just as much as his good looks. She barely even acknowledged his wedding band as she tucked her hair behind her ear and the blush began to creep across her cheeks.

 

“Mr. Bell, please sit.  You're making  _ me _ nervous.”

Samuel muttered an apology and sat in one of the two chairs facing the desk in the small office, fidgeting and changing positions multiple times before he found one he deemed remotely comfortable.  The truth was, he  _ was _ nervous, and no amount of pacing nor sitting was going to alleviate that fact.  He settled for his legs splayed, hunched forward with elbows on his knees; he knew it was not the best first impression to give, but he honestly did not believe he could keep himself upright otherwise.

“I was surprised you didn't speak this morning,” Samuel mumbled, wringing his hands.  A warm smile greeted him from the other side of the desk.

“That's because I was preparing for this, my meeting with you,” Liam said kindly.  “I thought it a better use of my time, though you'll forgive me if I'm not as ready as I'd like to be.”

“No, please don't worry about it!” Samuel exclaimed, making eye contact with the other man for the first time since entering the room.  “You have no idea how grateful I am for this, for the opportunity you're giving myself and- and Colleen, I'm thrilled you even considered having us-”

Liam waved his ramblings aside.  “Let us cut to the chase, then. Colleen, your daughter, she is the reason you're here is she not?”

Samuel resumed wringing his hands and nodded.  “There's just- there's so much going on, and I don't know how to handle it anymore, and it's all been so- so difficult lately, and-”

“Are you referring to her behavioral issues or your own desire to be sexually intimate with her?”

Samuel balked at that, paling as his worried eyes met Liam's calm ones.  While this appeared routine for Liam, and while he had probably dealt with issues far more taboo, it was the first time anyone had spoken Samuel's sin aloud and it penetrated him on a level he didn't think possible.  All of the shame and guilt came flooding back at once, everything he had tried so hard to suppress the past several weeks.

“The...the latter,” was all he could bring himself to say.  Liam nodded, as though this was a normal thing he heard all the time.

“I still think it may be beneficial if you use her behavior as cover while you adjust to these new feelings and urges.  It does not seem as though you wish for the world to know.”

“I don't want  _ her _ to know!” Samuel blurted.  “I mean, I- I do, I want her to know, but I can't stand the thought of her rejecting me.  And she would, I know she would. Even if I weren't her father, I just- it isn't like I have a lot to offer.”

Liam sat back in his chair, chewing on the cap of the pen he had been twirling.  “What makes you say that, Mr. Bell?”

Samuel gaped at him.  “Seriously? I mean look at me!”

Liam arched his eyebrow, setting the pen back down and giving Samuel a very even stare.  “What I see, Mr. Bell, is a man who has provided a loving and stable home for his daughter even in her times of need.  If that isn't a lot to offer, I don't know what is.”

This left Samuel confused; was Liam suggesting that he did actually have a chance with Colleen? No, that couldn't be right.  Liam was supposed to help him curb these desires, not provided rationale for them.

“What I suggest,” Liam pressed on, handing Samuel a blank notebook he fished from a drawer in his desk, “is that if you cannot bring yourself to tell her, write her letters.  Write down everything you wish you could say to her, everything you wish you could do with her or to her. Write down any thought of her that enters your mind, and perhaps someday you can let her know the truth.  For now it will just be an outlet for you and you alone.”

Samuel took the book gingerly, leafing through the crisp white lined pages.  The thought of ever letting her know things he wanted to do to her made him nauseous, but he supposed it would be cathartic to make his thoughts concrete.  He muttered his thanks, still unsure of what exactly this was supposed to help.

Liam smiled, looking as though he was ready to dismiss Samuel, then suddenly sat up.  “Ah. One more thing. I know sometimes you do have trouble with Colleen's behavior,” he rummaged around in his desk again, “so if you ever need to calm her down, try giving her some of this.  It's best a pinch or so mixed in liquid, can't taste a thing.”

Samuel’s face betrayed his concern as he accepted the bag of white powder and the implications sank in.  He tried finding the words to express this, finally saying softly, “You want me to drug her?”

Liam shrugged.  “It's just a natural supplement.  Either use it or don't, it's only purpose is to help her relax.  There's no harm in it.”

Samuel shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  There may be no physical harm in whatever “it” was, but the thought of putting something in Colleen’s drink just didn't sit right with him, particularly when Liam didn't seem too forthcoming with identification of the substance. Nevertheless, he trusted Liam and reluctantly pocketed the bag; who knew if it might come in handy during one of her particularly bad spells.  She was at times unpredictable.

“Anything else?” Liam inquired, and when an overwhelmed Samuel could not present any other topics of interest he found himself dismissed from the office.  It had been a short first meeting, but a surprising one, and as he gripped the notebook and felt the weight of the bag in his pocket he wondered just what kind of treatment he was in for.

 

Colleen searched the room for her father for a good ten minutes once she realized he had gone, finally relenting and sitting in a lonely chair in the corner when someone informed her he had gone off to meet with this Liam person, who apparently ran the town or something to that effect.  She didn't like the thought of them meeting without her; after all, if it were her behavioral problems that landed them here, shouldn't she be privy to the discussions? Samuel might not want to admit it, but she was in fact an adult.

She had been feeling particularly stupid when her conversation with Danny had been interrupted by Sharon who, as luck would have it, was actually his wife.  Colleen wrinkled her nose at the thought of how an obnoxiously cheerful hag like that had landed such a mellow guy, but she knew she was just jealous. She had a lot of flings in the past but never anything serious, and for some idiotic reason despite noticing his wedding ring she thought maybe she'd have a chance with him.  She blamed the schoolgirl fantasy on lack of sleep and food, but the fact of the matter remained that his unavailability stung.

Moreover, her current position seated conspicuously by herself near the coffee mess meant she kept catching the eye of those two blonde girls who did not try to hide the fact that they were whispering about her.  Colleen was thankful she could not hear what they were saying, but she still did not like it.

But the girls weren't the only ones with their sights fixed on her.  Brian had engaged in at least four different conversations since leaving her with Danny, yet during each and every one Colleen found him staring at her.  She knew she didn't have anything on her face, and she had cleaned up her blouse; she just could not understand it. It was not as though she was even wearing anything revealing or form-fitting, yet the hunger in his eyes suggested his thoughts were far from pure.

Colleen didn't want it, any of it, but as Brian continued to leer the blondes noticed and their whispers only increased.  It was too much; she had to get out of there.

She ducked out of the room, avoiding any direct conversation and entering the first empty room she could find.  It appeared to be some sort of classroom for younger kids, with a dirty chalkboard and dozens of finger paint projects adorning the walls.  She smiled as she looked at them, allowing herself to briefly wonder if she would ever have kids of her own. She always thought it would be nice someday, but that day seemed so far away, and the prospects dim.

“That's my son Alex’s,” a voice cut through the silence of the room.  Colleen jumped a bit, calming when she realized it was only Danny, then turned back to the picture she had been eyeing.

“Well it's a very lovely...horse?”

Danny winced.  “It's supposed to be a dog.”

Colleen's face fell and she was about to stammer out an apology when Danny laughed.  “Ah, it’s no big deal. That’s from years ago, he's eleven now. He knows that the, uh, the legs aren't supposed to be quite that long.”

She couldn't help but chuckle along with him.  “I mean, really, at least he got the general animal idea down.  Compared to some of the others...the closest I'd be able to guess for a lot of these is amoeba.  I think you might have a future artist on your hands.”

Colleen hadn't noticed Danny approach her, coming to stand next to her near the wall.  “Nah, unless something changes it looks like he's gonna follow in his daddy's footsteps.”

“And what does that entail?” Colleen wondered aloud.

Danny shrugged.  “Town handyman, basically.  I can do all kind of things, as long as it's fixin’.”

Colleen smiled to herself, idly gazing at other works of art on display.  “That explains the muscles…” she muttered, realizing only too late that the thought had not remained in her head.  Danny was staring at her almost shyly with his hands in his pockets and s somewhat embarrassed grin on his face. “S-sorry!” she stuttered.  “I-I just meant, I mean, you seemed strong is all…”

Colleen was sure one of two things would happen: either Danny would turn on his heel and leave, citing his marriage, or he would write it off as an awkward comment and change the subject.  Much to her surprise he did neither, and suddenly she found her back pressed against the wall, papers crumpling behind her and Danny's hands on either side of her head.

“Just how strong do you think I am?” he whispered, his tone suddenly husky.  Colleen furrowed her brow in confusion; his wife was not far from the other side of that door, what the hell was he thinking?  Yet her attraction to him kept her rooted to the spot. When she did not answer he stroked her cheek with his knuckles and sighed.  “Goddamn...I don't know a damn thing about you Colleen but there's- there's something here. Can't you feel it?”

Colleen nodded, her heart hammering in her chest.  She placed her hands on Danny's shirt, drawing him ever so slightly closer, but he leaned in and closed the gap as though it never existed.  Soon his lips were on hers, and it was the most gentle yet passionate kiss she had ever experienced. He wanted her, and wanted her badly, but for once it felt like she was the object of desire and not just an object.  She kissed him back greedily, groaning quietly as his tongue slid into her mouth and brushed her own.

In that moment Colleen felt the slightest pang of guilt, knowing this was the exact behavior Samuel was trying to curtail.  But Danny was so eager, so willing, and he seemed genuinely interested in her; how was she supposed to say no? Even so, as her desire built and the fire pooled in her belly, her thoughts inexplicably kept drifting back to her father.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for this being later than I would have liked; I came down with something resembling the flu where I could barely get out of bed, and let me tell you, being too sick to even write is depressing! It bothered me that I had no way to communicate this though, without posting an entirely new chapter, so I've created a tumblr account (https://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/) for status updates such as that if that is something you desire to follow. I made a note in my profile as well, so no worries about having to come back to this chapter to find the handle. I figured this was a good way to keep anyone who wants updates in the loop, especially on serial works.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully this chapter is coherent (fair warning: the last part got me teary-eyed), and I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated, as usual!

The house Samuel had selected during his initial application to Happy Meadows was something out of a dream.  The two-story colonial was quaint, finally affording himself and Colleen the extra space he had so often desired; the irony was not lost on him, however, that they now had hardly any possessions with which to fill it.  They would in time.

It had been far easier to sell most everything of little importance and accept the community's generous offer of new furniture and appliances than to try and cart everything across country.  Samuel had no complaints about the quality of the dark wooden furnishings in his bedroom or the plush striped couch in the living room, nor the appearance of the stainless steel refrigerator and stove in the kitchen.  It was all just so perfect that he found himself often circling the rooms in awe, letting it sink in that this was all in fact his.

Well, everything in the house except one- no, he did not dare refer to his beloved daughter as an item.  She was a human being with very real thoughts, needs, and desires, and he would not reduce her to any sort of object except perhaps to that of his affections.  Yet despite every part of him screaming that he must let her go, his want of her was only becoming stronger.

He knew it was an unrealistic expectation of himself and the community, that his desires would dissipate within the first week and a half.  It did not stop him from hoping, however, particularly as he had been cooped up in the house with Colleen for long periods of time while the leaders made arrangements for his new job as the town’s accountant.  Watching her slowly crack under the boredom as she bounded around in shorts and low cut tank tops was driving him mad. The thing that truly bothered him, he supposed, was how little affection she had bestowed upon him lately.

Before they moved she frequently found reasons to come up and hug him from behind, pressing her full breasts firmly into his back in a way that made him stutter; or, she would come up to him and abruptly place a chaste kiss on his lips, one that left him flustered and aching for more. He used to relish these small but meaningful interactions between them, often thinking back to them with a smile on his face as he fell asleep.

Recently, however, there had been nothing.  They had been around each other practically all the time, but somehow things felt more distant than ever.  Samuel hated it.

It was on one of those days where it was particularly noticeable that he decided to try that whole letter writing therapy Liam suggested.  He did not necessarily think it would work, but in his desperation he was ready to try anything. He picked up the notebook and a pen and made his way towards the back porch, another favorite spot of his in the house.  It backed to the woods and made for an excellent spot to collect his thoughts, or perhaps to ingest another bottle of whiskey.

But when Samuel reached out to grab the door handle he paused at the sound of giggling coming from outside.  He frowned; what was Colleen doing on the porch? And what had her so amused? He shifted so he could peer out of the glass in the direction of the noise, but what he saw caused him to nearly drop the notebook.

Colleen was not alone.

In fact, she had taken the liberty of straddling the man seated in one of the lounge chairs, and though Samuel could not see his face what he could see was his hand wrapped around Colleen's waist and the wedding band adorning his finger.  Samuel paled. Again? Had she learned nothing from the last time? Nothing good would come from this, and if this man’s wife found out…

Colleen sat back, lips plump and red from what Samuel knew now had been an onslaught of kisses.  His blood began to boil, in part due to her indecent idiocy and in part due to his desire to trade places with this mystery man.  He gripped the notebook tightly, feeling the flimsy pen crack beneath his ire. It was when the man sat up, however, to meet Colleen's waiting mouth with his own that he truly felt himself snap.

Samuel recognized him at once as Danny, husband of Sharon, the kind lady from outreach that had helped him secure a position here in the first place.  God, if she knew that Colleen and Danny were- fuck, they'd be kicked out faster than they'd arrived! Did she have any idea that she was jeopardizing everything he had worked for, everything he had been trying to do for them?  And what the hell was Danny doing, hooking up with her like this? He had a wife, a family, and was well-established in the community; why would he risk all of that on a newcomer?

Samuel paled as a sudden realization crept over him.  He wouldn't...would he? No, there was no way Liam would condone such a thing.  It was one way, he admitted to himself, that would force him to come to terms with his lust in that seeing Colleen with another man was bound to drive him crazy.  It didn't seem fair, though, especially when he'd just arrived; couldn't he at least have a few weeks with her to himself?

The thought that Liam would have asked Danny to seduce Colleen in order for Samuel to come to grips with his emotions seemed more and more ridiculous as Samuel neared the community center, and by the time he reached the leader’s door it sounded downright silly.  He paused, hand poised to knock, then became suddenly aware of his appearance and thought better of it. He had practically run from his house, hair plastered to his sweaty form, and the stains on his hand and shirt from where he had broken the pen had turned an ugly blue black.

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered to himself, moving to run his hand through his hair and stopping at the sight of the sticky ink.  He made a noise of disgust and was about to turn on his heel and leave when the door opened and Liam poked his head out.

“Ah, Mr. Bell.  What an unexpected surprise.  Were you hoping to see me?”

Caught, Samuel gaped at Liam for a few moments, then sighed.  “If you have the time,” he mumbled.

Liam gave him that familiar warm smile, stepping back to hold open the door.  “I always have the time. Please, come in.”

Samuel shuffled his way into the room, practically collapsing on the chair and putting his head in his hands before remembering the ink and sitting back abruptly.  Liam sat opposite him, hands folded on the desk and the corner of his mouth twitching. He let out a slight chuckle.

“Mr. Bell, I’m incredibly sorry, I just can’t help but wonder how you-”

“Colleen is sleeping with Danny,” Samuel croaked; Liam’s face immediately fell.

“That is...a very bold accusation, Mr. Bell.  Danny is a highly respected member of his community, and he and his wife were in fact high school sweethearts.  To accuse him of such a thing, that is just- that is unheard of.”

Samuel could feel his entire body tremble as he recalled the sight from only moments earlier.  “I-I don’t know for sure if they’re sleeping together, but- but they’re on my porch right now, kissing, a-and-”

“I see.”  Liam frowned.  “Have you shared this with anyone else?  Do they know you saw them?”

Samuel shook his head.  “No, I-I came straight here.  I was actually getting ready to write her a letter, but now…”

Liam’s face brightened.  “Oh! You were going to use the journal?  That’s excellent, Mr. Bell. Please don’t let this experience deter you- in fact, it might be just the thing you need to write about.”

Fidgeting with his hands, Samuel remembered the real reason he had come here.  It sounded stupid then, but as long as he was here he had to know. “So, um...so you didn’t know about this?”

Liam furrowed his brow, sitting back in his chair.  “What makes you think I would know about your daughter’s promiscuity?”

Samuel faltered.  “I-I don’t know, I just...I thought maybe...god, it sounds dumb, but maybe you asked Danny to like, I don’t know, seduce her or something as a lesson to me.”

An odd expression came over Liam’s face, and Samuel couldn’t be sure if he was pensive or holding back a laugh.  Liam stared across the desk for several moments, as though choosing his next words carefully. “Mr. Bell,” he said finally, “I’m somewhat offended.  Do you truly believe I would use one of my star residents to- to seduce your much younger daughter, in the hopes of what, getting you used to the idea of her being with someone else.  That’s absurd,” he scoffed, “and I can’t believe you suggested it.”

Samuel paled and hung his head.  He’d fucked up. Barely here a week and he fucked up, and now the likelihood of Liam wanting to continue to treat him was low.  He opened his mouth to say he was sorry, but Liam held up his hand.

“No need to apologize, Mr. Bell.  Everyone makes mistakes, and I fully understand the toll this new relationship must be taking on you.  Like I said, use the journal. Your daughter is going to do whatever- or whomever- she wants to do, regardless of your influence.  This was certainly not an intentional learning experience, but perhaps you can use it as one.”

Samuel nodded, feeling foolish.  “Thank you…” he muttered, stumbling out of his chair and hurrying out of the room before Liam could say another word.  He felt ridiculous, even more so because Liam seemingly wasn’t upset with him. He would have to think more carefully in the future, but he found it so difficult to think with Colleen around.  He looked down at the ink staining his hand and clothes and decided that, yes, he would try the notebook. What did he have to lose, really?

But first, a shower.

 

Colleen felt giddy as she made her way down the main street of the small town, making her way to her secret meeting place with Danny.  The past week and a half had been an onslaught of hormones and emotions, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. The man had been nothing if not kind to her, and supportive of her reconciliation with her life transition in moving to this place against her will.  He  _ cared _ .  Colleen had yet to know a man who seemed to actually care for her, and though she knew she was being stupid falling this hard for a married man she barely knew she did not care.  This was bliss.

She paused to smooth out the wrinkles in the sundress she bought specifically for this occasion in one of the shop windows.  She barely recognized herself; the girl who smiled back looked happy and healthy, not at all like a girl who had been cooped up inside for the past several years with no hopes of changing her life.  Things were going to be different, she knew.

The sound of footsteps coming up behind her did not even give Colleen pause, as there were several people about on the crisp September afternoon.  She assumed it was someone looking to go into the antiques shop in front of her; she stepped aside to allow them to pass but became perplexed as the steps stopped just shy of her own feet.  A quick glance into the reflection in the window made her stomach clench as she saw Brian standing behind her with an eerie grin plastered on his face.

Colleen turned to face him, surprised as he stepped close enough that she had to back into the window to avoid brushing his chest.  Truth be told, the man terrified her; he had been downright creepy on their first encounter, and though they barely interacted since then the sidelong glances he gave her were less than innocent.

“My, my, don’t we look lovely,” he cooed. “Isn’t it a bit chilly to be wearing something without sleeves, though?  Look, you’re getting goosebumps…”

Brian brushed his knuckles across her shoulder, a most unwanted action from which Colleen jerked away.  He chuckled, bringing his hand to his nose and inhaling deeply. “You smell  _ divine _ .  If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were going on a date.”

Colleen held her head high despite every urge she had to bolt.  “It’s none of your business where I’m going,” she said curtly, to which Brian raised his eyebrows and laughed.

“Oh so you  _ are _ .  But with who?  There aren’t many men here your age, I reckon.  It must be someone older, then, but most everyone is spoken for...unless…” His eyes twinkled with the realization, his lips pursed.  “You  _ are _ fucking Danny, then.”

It was stated as a fact, not a question, and Colleen unintentionally gave him an answer anyway in the way she broke eye contact and looked at the sidewalk.  Brian laughed, throwing his head back in a way that attracted unwanted attention from passersby.

“Well, I suppose it’s better you than his other problem.  At least you’re of age!”

Colleen’s eyes snapped back to him.  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Brian looked highly amused with himself, crossing his arms as he spoke.  “Oh he didn’t tell you? That’s why he’s here, you know- the porn addiction.  High school girls, mostly, though every once in awhile I think he’d mix it up with someone legal.  Good thing for you that you look so young…” His eyes flicked over her figure appreciatively and Colleen found herself wishing she’d worn a sweater to cover what she knew were her heaving breasts poking out from the dress.

“Why...why are you telling me this?” she mumbled, scratching at the nail polish on her freshly painted nails.  “Shouldn’t that be his business? A-and you’re in charge, too, with Liam, aren’t you supposed to give everyone some privacy?”

Brian looked down at her- god was he tall- an interesting expression on his face as though he was wondering whether or not to reveal something else.  He ended up chuckling and stepping back as though he thought better of it. “Just trying to make you aware of what you’re getting into. Or rather, that’s getting into you.”  Colleen made a face and he smiled. “When it doesn’t work out you know where to find me, kitten.”

Colleen opened her mouth to protest his use of any sort of pet name for her, but he simply smirked and walked off.  As his footsteps echoed along the sidewalk the antique shop owned poked his head out to inquire if Colleen was alright; she lied and told him she was fine, making her way to the old barn where she was to meet Danny as fast as her shaky legs could take her.

She found him already there, leaning up against a wooden post and playing with his phone.  For a moment Brian’s words rang in her ears; was he looking at porn? Underage porn, for that matter?  It made her feel queasy. How was she supposed to pretend she didn’t know?

Hearing her footsteps, Danny looked up and pocketed his phone before she had a chance to see the screen.  He grinned at her, picking her up at the waist and giving her a twirl before setting her back down and planting a firm kiss on her lips.  He stepped back, holding her hands as he took in the dress; he raised his eyebrows and whistled appreciatively. “I thought you didn’t bring any dresses with you!”

“I...I didn’t,” Colleen said quietly.  “I bought this...for...for you…”   
Something akin to regret flashed over Danny’s eyes, but it was gone even as it appeared.  He smiled down at her and kissed her again. “You didn’t have to do that...but I’m glad you did.  I love it, though I think I might love you even more out of it…” He stepped closer and pressed his forehead to hers, but she gently pushed him away.  He stared at her as she stepped back, nervously holding one arm. “What’s...did I do something wrong?”

“Why did you move here?”

Danny blinked, gritting his teeth as he tried to determine how to answer.  “I...I, um, I had a problem, a really bad problem, and it- it was affecting my life, my marriage- hell, I’m lucky it didn’t land me in jail.  So we- we found this place, and it looked like the best option, and, uh...yeah. That’s about it.”

“So you don’t have the problem anymore?”

Danny shook his head.  “Liam’s been wonderful.  He- I can’t repay him enough for the, ah, the urges he helped me control.  He saved my life. What- why are you asking me this?”

Colleen bit her lip.  “I ran into Brian on the way here.”  She saw Danny’s jaw immediately clench and his eyes narrow.  “He told me...he told me about you, and I just...I don’t know, I got worried you’re just entertaining me because you’re fulfilling an old fantasy or something…”

Danny walked over to her like a man on a mission, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her back into a post.  She noticed then just how irate he looked, the way his nostrils flared and his eyes were on fire. “Let’s get one thing straight,” he growled, “Brian is an asshole.  Don’t ever,  _ ever _ listen to a damn thing he says.  And secondly,” he said only a bit more gently, grabbing a fistful of her hair, “Don’t ever think for a damn minute that I don’t want you.   _ You _ , Colleen, not some fantasy version of you.  I know it hasn’t been very long but I want to get to know everything about you, and nothing is going to come in the way of that.”

He kissed her, then, a deep and passionate kiss that had Colleen standing on her toes leaning in for more.  Her eyes shone with the beginnings of tears as he pulled away and stroked her cheek. “What about Sharon?” she whispered, the guilt swelling inside her.

Danny balked, opening and closing his mouth a few times before looking down at her with a small smile.  “You let me worry about that, okay?”

Colleen nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down into another kiss.  She could feel his muscles through his t-shirt, running her hands over his biceps and chest as she loved to do when they made out in the past.  There was something different about this kiss, though; the earnesty, the urgency, it was all becoming too much for her to handle. She arched her back into the post of the barn as Danny nipped at her neck, sucking on a spot Colleen was hopeful would leave a mark.  Sharon be damned, questionable pornography be damned, she wanted everyone to know that this man wanted her and her alone. Furthering this assertion, his hands began to wander down the front of her dress, one pausing to fondle her breasts while the other lifted the hem of her skirt and found her clit through the sheer panties she’d selected specifically for the occasion.  He let out a moan at finding this even as she did as well, reacting to his skillful fingers teasing and toying with her.

Colleen pulled him in closer, burying her face in his warm, strong chest as he fingered her.  It did not take long for the desperation in her whines to begin to grow; Danny pulled back, watching her face she she whimpered.  She could see the arousal on his own features even as he licked his lips and did not hold back as she began to beg. “Da-Danny please...god, please I want you...please…”

The fire in Danny’s eyes ignited then, as he stood and turned Colleen to lean into the post away from him.  He lifted her skirt over her hips and quite possibly ripped the flimsy panties as he pulled them to the floor; Colleen did not even care.  She heard his belt unfastening and his zipper coming undone, bracing herself against the wood as she felt him tease her by pressing against her wet and ready opening.  She tried to squirm backwards onto him but he held her in place, caressing her hip with a groan. She whined as he slid his length just outside of her, and before long she began to beg again.  This time, Danny did not hold back.

He slammed into her to the hilt, taking no time to allow her to adjust before he began to pump himself in and out.  Colleen moaned, gripping the support post tightly as he assaulted her dripping cunt. He met each thrust with a growl of his own, the primal noise reverberating in his chest.  Colleen could feel her eyes begin to glaze over, caught up in her own ecstacy, knowing this was what she truly needed.

Fuck everyone who would come between them.

Fuck ‘em all.

 

_ My Dearest Colleen, _

_ I have been instructed to write to you as some sort of form of therapy; I do hope in time you will come to understand my reasons for needing to do so, though I will admit that I still do not fully understand myself.  It is a part of me that I have had difficulty accepting, yet I am unsure of whether or not that is even what I should do. Perhaps, as I write to you, I will come to realize the best course of action. _

_ I have never meant to do you wrong, darling girl.  The expression you made when I told you of my plans to move us here made it seem as though you were permanently wounded, like a frightened puppy.  Ah, perhaps not the best analogy, but I still have never seen you so upset save for when your mother passed. It brought back all kinds of unsettling memories for me, and for a moment I wondered if this really was the right thing for you.  For us. _

_ But what I must keep reminding myself of is that this isn’t for you; it is for me, and me alone.  Your life choices have left you bonded to me- and not that I have any complaints! There is nowhere else I would rather you be than by my side, but the fact of the matter remains that this life of ours has led me down a path where sacrifices must be made.  Not just by me, but by you as well, and for that I am truly sorry. _

_ Do you remember your sixteenth birthday?  I don’t presume that you would very much if at all, given how much you drank.  I remember how upset Linda was that I let you, and I think the only reason things didn’t fall apart then and there was that we’d only been married a short time and she knew you were still adjusting.  I know you never really liked her, and I’ll admit to perhaps making a mistake rushing as I did. I just wanted you to be a part of a family again, in the ways I could not provide for you. _

_ Anyway, your birthday.  We had gone to dinner and had cake at home, where you insisted you were old enough to try a beer.   Or two or three, I can’t remember. I do remember sneaking them to you throughout the night, and I remember enjoying how affectionate towards me you became.  You all but passed out in my lap on the couch watching old movies, and I admit it took a long time to work up the nerve to move you. I remember setting you down gently in your bed, letting you fall asleep with your clothes on. _

_ But I didn’t leave, Colleen.  I couldn’t. I sat there for hours, watching you sleep, stroking the hair from your face.  I didn’t want to leave your side. I knew in that moment that I wanted to be yours. Your everything.  I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but looking back I now know. You are my world. _

_ What I’m trying to say, Colleen, is...I love you.  I love you more than I love life itself, and I used to think if you would give me even a fraction of that love I would be happy.  I was wrong. I’ve become greedy, and part of me wants nothing less than full reciprocation. I know it is too much to ask, especially of someone so young and confused as yourself, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting. _

_ That is why it hurts- it burns me to see you with someone else.  Every little incident, whether at the family gathering or my office party, has put a hole in my chest the size of which I wish you could see.  I know you have your reasons, and your hormones are running wild, but why can’t it be….why can’t I be… _

_ Oh, what’s the use?  And now this tryst with Danny- yes, I saw, don’t think I didn’t see.  I’ve never seen you so happy, and it is eating me up inside. You’ve been practically ignoring me, even when we’re alone together, and it...I can’t begin to tell you how badly it hurts.  I miss the days when you would throw your arms around me in a hug or sit on my lap for movie night. Now it seems that I am less your friend and more your father, yet all the while I cannot stop myself from wanting more than both of those things. _

_ I do hope you will understand.  I’m not going to stop you; I would never, ever take your freedom from you.  But if you continue down this road, I am worried that our relationship is going to continue to change.   We are going to grow farther apart, whether you realize it or not, and I- I can’t handle that. I just can’t. _

_ So please, Colleen, just- just come back to me.  I’ll do anything, we can go anywhere you want, do whatever you want, just please be mine again.  I miss you. _

_ All my love, _

_ Dad _


	7. Chapter 7

The swing on the playground was fairly well kept, which led Colleen to wonder if anyone ever really used it.  There were certainly enough kids in this town, but the playground more often than not seemed empty. The only thing she could figure was that they were all forced to stay inside and study or something equally miserable.  She was glad she grew up with some degree of freedom.

The crisp October air felt wonderful on her bare arms as she pumped her legs to swing higher and higher.  She could see people off in the distance, probably heading home for dinner as she should be, but she was there for her regular rendezvous with Danny.  There was no way she was going to miss it.

She had felt her feelings for him surge ever since their first intimate encounter, and even though she knew pining after the married man was damaging to her emotional health she found herself unable to care.  She got so much enjoyment out of just being with him even when they weren’t screwing around; he could just sit there and hold her and she felt at peace. Something was finally right in the her life.

Footsteps approached from behind her and to the right; Colleen craned her neck and slowed down the swing with a grin as Danny’s figure approached.  She managed to stop just as he reached her, sliding off of the swing and running over to wrap her arms around his neck. She leaned in to kiss him, and that was when she realized something did not seem quite right.

Danny turned his head away before their lips touched; Colleen released her hold on him and stepped back with a concerned look.  “H..hey...is everything okay?” Had something happened? Was someone sick or hurt? A million ideas raced through her mind, but none of them prepared her for the one that was in fact reality.

“We need to stop seeing each other.”

Colleen blinked, taken aback.  That was not what she would have ever expected, and she felt her heart sink even as she tried to laugh it off.  He had to be joking, right? It had only been a couple of weeks, and their last visit had been the best sex yet; they both agreed on that fact.  He couldn’t do this to her so suddenly. He wouldn’t.

“W...what are you…”

“I’m saying it’s over, Colleen,” Danny replied flatly.  “It’s been fun while it lasted, but I have a family I need to focus on.  They’re the entire reason I came here, and I can’t do anything that would risk me losing them.  I need to spend more time with the people in my life who love me. You should too.”

Colleen opened her mouth, realizing at the last second that saying she loved him was probably a terrible idea.  It was also untrue; despite her deep infatuation she knew it was just that, and no amount of trying to convince herself or him otherwise was going to help the situation.

“Will...will you even still talk to me?” she asked quietly, defeated, sniffling and rubbing her eyes.  She knew she should protest and fight him on this, but she knew he was not the type to take such things lightly.  If he had made up his mind, there was nothing she could do. She felt powerless.

Danny looked at her for a long while even as she didn’t meet his gaze.  “If the situation warrants it, I won’t ignore you, if that’s what you’re asking.  But don’t expect me to go out of my way.”

A small sob wracked Colleen’s figure but she nodded.  “I just...I don’t understand what I did…”

Danny shrugged.  “There’s nothing to understand.  I have my family, you have yours.  We both need to figure out what’s truly important.”  He sighed, running his hand through his hair as Colleen began to cry harder.  “Go  _ home _ , Colleen.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he had already turned away and begun heading in the direction of home.  His home. His family. Colleen felt her heart clench. He never really cared about her after all.

_ Men _ , she thought bitterly.  They truly were all the same.  She knew her relationship with Danny had started as a physical attraction, but over the past few weeks she thought it had started to blossom into something more.  They had gotten to know each other, she told him her past, her desires, her fears; he told her the same. She didn’t think he was going to leave his wife for her or anything, but she thought there was truly something there.  Something more than just a purely sexual relationship.

But no, she had been utterly and completely wrong.  She had been let down by yet another guy with little to no real explanation, with nothing to show for all of the feelings she had put into the relationship except emotional scars and ruined makeup.  Every man in her life had done nothing but cause her grief.

Well, every man except one.  There was something about Danny’s words that rang true; she should spend more time with her father.  He’d been her rock for so many years, often putting her first before himself. And what had she done?  She’d barely spoken to him for the past two weeks, she knew that much. Thinking back she realized how it affected him, how somber he had become, but she hadn’t noticed until now.  She’d been a terrible daughter.

Colleen slid off of the swing, wiping her eyes and trying to regain composure.  The sun had nearly disappeared over the horizon and it was getting dark; she shivered at the sudden gust of wind that sent a chill coursing through her body.  She should head home. She should go home to her father.

She should apologize.

 

Samuel sat on the couch that evening, alone, as was often the case these days.  The signal to the television came in relatively clear despite the remoteness of the town, something for which he was grateful.  He felt like many of his days ended with him wearing away a spot on the brand new sofa, drink in hand and television tuned to something he did not care about while Colleen was off galavanting and doing who knows what.

_ You know what _ , his brain chided himself in a manner he found to be most unpleasant.   _ You know who _ .

He had no proof, of course, of his daughter’s sexual indiscretions, but he did not need it.  Given the amount of time she had spent either on the porch with Danny or outside of the house only to return with mussed hair and disheveled clothes, he knew the truth.  It tore a bleak hole leading to a pit in his stomach he felt he had no hope of filling.

He had not had the courage to use the notebook again these past few weeks; it hurt too much.  He found himself instead rereading the letter he previously wrote, tracing over the words on the tear-stained pages as he felt them well up again.  It was hopeless. Whatever he had hoped to accomplish here, it was hopeless. He did not think he would ever be able to rid himself of his feelings for Colleen yet he could not act on them, particularly with her abandoning him the way she was.  He was unsure if he was slipping into another depression similar to the one after his first wife died, but the truth was the signs were there. It was going to take a miracle to fix this.

Samuel did not much believe in miracles.

The real miracle, he mused, was that he had not had a drink yet that evening.  As he felt his body tense and his thoughts turn into one negative image after the other, he realized it must be time.  He hated using alcohol as such a crutch, but he did not know what else to do. He felt trapped.

With a heavy sigh Samuel rose from the couch, trudging into the kitchen.  He did not even know what he wanted to drink, just that it had to be something strong.  The stronger the better. He had just begun to open the cabinet to grab a glass when he heard the front door open and slam shut; groaning, he closed the door and turned around.  There was no point in Colleen seeing him desperate like this.

He expected her to bypass the kitchen entirely and make a beeline for the stairs to go to her room, taken aback when he saw her slowly come into view on unsteady feet as though unsure of where to go.  He took in the sight of her with a great deal of concern, noting how her hair and clothes remained intact but her makeup smeared dark circles under her eyes and down her cheeks. She had been crying; no, not crying, sobbing, and for a long while it seemed.  Something had happened.

Samuel furrowed his brow, trying to think of what that something could be.  She had been out with Danny, he was certain; had they ended things? Could he dare to dream of being so lucky?

“Colleen?” he said softly.  She looked up at him with big brown eyes full of tears and remorse, and before Samuel had a chance to say more she ran over and wrapped her arms around his waist.  He stepped back in surprise but found himself pinned between his wailing daughter and the kitchen counter, unable to do much else except stroke her hair and back. She seemed to relax a bit at his touch, though her body still shook with each sob.  “What happened?” he finally asked quietly, his desire to comfort her and be her father, her rock, now paramount above all else.

“H-he..h-h-he..” Colleen stuttered, leaning back to wipe her eyes.  Samuel gave her a small loving smile and brushed some hair from her face.

“Take your time, sweetheart.”

He could feel her small form trembling in his arms and had immense difficulty keeping himself from embracing her.  Regardless of what had happened, he hated seeing her like this. Her happiness meant the world to him, and watching her hurt destroyed him in a way that nothing else ever could.  She finally opened her mouth again to speak after taking several deep breaths, but what she said next left him even more confused.

“I-I’m so sorry I-I’ve been a horrible daughter,” she choked out, and with that her sobs began anew.  Samuel blinked, noting she didn’t seem appreciative of the flabbergasted laugh he gave.

“What on earth would make you think that?”

Eyes screwed shut, Colleen seemed to barely be able to whisper the name of the man Samuel had correctly assumed responsible.  “D-Danny…”

Samuel bristled a bit at hearing the name spoken aloud, wincing as he bit the inside of his cheek. This time was for Colleen, not for him.  She needed him to be strong. “What did he say?”

Colleen shook her head.  “He just- he doesn’t..he d-doesn’t want m-me…” She leaned back to look up at him, tears streaming from those beautiful brown orbs.  “Dad, i-is there something w-wrong with me?”

Samuel stared down at his daughter, praying she didn’t see the smile playing at the corner of his lips.  It was in fact over. Part of him was giddy in a way that made him want to shout from the rooftops, but Colleen’s last comment hurt him unexpectedly.  How could such an angel possibly think there was something wrong with her? He wanted to tell her then how he felt, how special she was to him, but this was not the time.  “You’re perfect,” he opted to say instead with a tender kiss to her forehead.

Colleen’s lips formed the smallest of smiles and she rolled her eyes.  “You have to say that, you’re my dad.”

Those words stung in a way that he could not admit to her, at least not then.  She was still crying, still shaking, and he would not jeopardize their relationship despite wanting so badly to plant an affectionate kiss on her plump lips.  He forced himself to smile down at her, stroking her cheek and delighted when she leaned into his touch. This was the Colleen he had missed. This was his daughter, his love.  He knew then he could never stop loving her as he did, regardless of whatever therapy he was supposed to be receiving. She meant too much to him.

They stared into each other’s eyes for several moments, the tenderness only lost when Colleen awkwardly broke away.  “I think I’m going to go hop in the tub,” she muttered, to which Samuel nodded. She gave his hand a squeeze, allowing their fingertips to continue to touch even as she walked away.

When she finally disappeared up the stairs Samuel leaned against the counter and put his head in his hands, but when he removed them the face beneath was not morose.  Despite wanting to comfort Colleen in any way possible, he was positively elated. For whatever reason, Danny had broken things off with her and left her in need of another male presence, another man in her life.  He had opened up a role that Samuel was more than willing and able to fill. He could be that for her, for his Colleen.

This was his miracle.

Even so, he would not be able to get anywhere with her in her current state.  She was far too distraught, and he wanted her feeling more like herself for both of their sakes.  He was feeling so sure of himself that he did not want to wait; he wanted her better right there and then.  Getting her mind off of Danny, however, would take another miracle.

It was then he remembered the mysterious powder Liam had given him.  He had stashed it away in his office, swearing he would never use it for fear of either harming Colleen or betraying her trust.  But Liam had said it would calm her down, didn’t he? Samuel could not think of a better use for it. After all, what did he have to lose?

 

Colleen turned off the faucet, running her fingertips through the hot water with a wry smile. It had been a horrible day but the bath would make it better. Perhaps not everything would be fixed, but it could certainly help. The thought of taking time to herself and sinking into the bubbly oblivion of the claw foot tub filled her with a sense of calm that was rare these days.

Just as she unbuttoned her blouse and began to shrug it from her shoulders she heard the bathroom door open; startled, she gripped the edge of the tub and turned to face the intruder, letting out a relieved sigh to see it was only her father poking his head inside. He had a look of guilt on his face, presumably from frightening her, and had barely opened his mouth to speak when Colleen noticed the tray he carried.

“What’s that?” she blurted before he had a chance to say anything. His eyes drifted down to the mug and glass on the tray, then back up to where Colleen was pulling her shirt back over her shoulders before they darted away again.

“I, uh, thought you might like some tea. Something to help you relax.”

Colleen nodded, giving him a small smile. “Um...thanks. Yeah, that would be nice.” She stepped forward to take it when she noticed the other glass on the tray. It was about half full of a brownish liquid but appeared more ice than drink, and she couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed the stench of alcohol wafting up to her before. “What’s that, then?”

Samuel seemed surprised she asked, as though he almost forgot it was there. “Oh, this? This is, ah, for me. I thought you might like some company.”

The implication of the statement was not lost on Colleen, who frowned and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. “While...while I’m in the tub?”

Samuel hesitated for a long while, watching as Colleen did not meet his stare. He finally licked his lower lip nervously and entered the bathroom completely, setting the tray down on the counter. Colleen looked over as he picked up the glass of scotch and sipped it with a shaky hand. Something was clearly bothering him, but he did not seem to be in the mood to share. She felt guilty for making him leave, especially after putting him through so much hell. He wanted to bond with his daughter and she should be able to accommodate that. He just wanted to keep her company, after all.

“Just, um, just let me get in first, okay?”

Samuel cleared his throat and nodded. “Of course.”

He stood with his back to her, and Colleen watched his eyes lower to the glass in his hand before she felt comfortable sliding her shirt back from her shoulders and onto the floor. She fumbled with her bra before it, too, slid from her arms, and hurriedly unfastened her jeans and kicked them and her panties off to the side. A sidelong glance at Samuel showed that he still stared at the melting ice, and Colleen quickly stepped into the water and submerged up to her shoulders.

Before she could let him know she was ready, Samuel drained the glass and set it on the tray with a clink before picking up the cup of tea and bringing it over to her. His timing seemed just a tad too perfect, something that Colleen could not help but notice.  _ He wasn’t watching me _ , she told herself.  _ That’s ridiculous. He heard me get into the water and knew it was safe. _

She gingerly accepted the cup of tea, looking down into the milk swirling within. She allowed herself a small smile; she had to give him credit for remembering the chamomile tea they had so frequently shared during her adolescence. It might help her relax after all.

The tea was warm and delicious as it passed her lips and ran down her throat, with just a hint of saltiness Colleen couldn’t quite place. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of it flowing through her and sending shivers down her spine accompanied by the warmth of the bathwater. She realized when she stopped drinking she had already downed over half of the mug; she smiled at Samuel sheepishly, shocked to find him kneeling on the floor next to the tub.

“H...hi,” she said, the word feeling lazy rolling off her tongue. Samuel smiled back at her and brushed some of the hair from her face, causing Colleen's suddenly flushed cheeks to turn crimson.

“Hi,” he said in return, carefully taking the mug from her slacking fingers and placing it on the floor near the pile of clothes she had made. Colleen watched with a stupid grin plastered on her face, unable to stop herself from smiling. She felt oddly at ease despite being naked this close to her father, and when he reached behind her to pull down a washcloth she did not shy away but rather looked at him completely bemused.

“I thought I might help you clean up a bit,” Samuel explained calmly, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “You look like someone gave you two very impressive black eyes.”

Colleen giggled, knowing very well how her raccoon eyes must look with all the crying she had done wearing non-waterproof mascara. When Samuel reached to dip the washcloth in the tub, however, she was suddenly filled with an extreme discomfort and grabbed his wrist. His eyes snapped up to her in almost a glare and he pulled his arm away.

“Sorry!” Colleen exclaimed, suddenly full of remorse. “I just...I can do it...”

“I’m only trying to help, Colleen,” Samuel snapped; Colleen hung her head in shame. He calmed a bit upon seeing her, his tone becoming more exasperated than angry. “All I’ve ever wanted was to help you...”

His words seemed to fade in and out as the ringing in her ears intensified. Colleen was suddenly highly aware of each individual bubble forming the foam that shielded her naked form, and despite herself she found herself playing with the soapy suds between her fingertips. She knew Samuel was still talking to her, but she could not seem to focus; time slowed and all that mattered was the warm comfort that was the bath. She barely even noticed Samuel successfully dipping the washcloth into the water beside her, his fingers brushing her bare hip in a way that just didn’t feel quite right.

Colleen opened her mouth in protest when the rough material of the washcloth scraping against her cheek brought her back to reality. Samuel had begun wiping away the remnants of her ruined mascara, gently scrubbing her cheeks and around her eyes where the black material had smeared. She looked up at him, watching how his gray eyes never left her face and fixated on the task at hand. Every so often he cleaned the cloth of the gunk before resuming, his other hand pushing the hair in her face aside in a gesture she would almost call loving.

She felt a surge of warmth building inside her for him. This man had been doing everything in his power to be a good father and to fill in the gaps in her parenting; what had she done in return? She hadn’t let him. She actively pushed him away to the point where they had to uproot their entire life to “help” her. She had been entirely ungrateful. She may have already apologized once, but that was a teary-eyed, blubbering apology; she should do it right.

“Dad-” Colleen began to say, suddenly struck by a terrifying vertigo as Samuel gently pushed her shoulders to lean her forward. The tip of her nose nearly touched the quickly fading bubbles and she reached up to grip the side of the tub, faltering when she felt the fabric of Samuel’s shirt instead. He chuckled, steadying her with the arm she grabbed by splaying his hand across her chest while his other hand beginning to scrub her back with the newly soapy washcloth.

“Relax, sweetheart,” he cooed, his thumb stroking her collarbone gently. “While I’m here I might as well make sure the rest of you is clean.”

Colleen opened and closed her mouth a few times but no sound came out. The sudden lurch forward had made her quite dizzy and part of her thought she might be sick if moved like that again. Something definitely was not right, but the sound of Samuel humming was calming even if it did seem far away and the brush of his fingertips over her back where they held the cloth was soothing. She felt herself break into a dopey grin again.

The next several moments passed in a thick haze. Colleen could tell that Samuel had shifted her to lie back against the tub and had begun to wash her chest even as her head lolled to one side. Her half-lidded eyes noticed how he did not try to avoid brushing her bare breasts with his fingers, but rather how his breath hitched every time he did so. She wanted to scold him for being so careless, but a nagging voice in the back of her mind suggested something else entirely.

It was the same voice that suggested that he’d been watching her undress in the mirror, and it was this same voice that raised alarms as he dipped the washcloth under the water and ran it over her quivering stomach. The bubbles had almost entirely dissipated now, and while Colleen tried to take her mind off of the uncomfortable situation by trying to make a mental note to buy better bubble bath she neglected to close her legs before Samuel slid the washcloth between them.

Colleen sat up abruptly with a gasp and clenched her thighs shut, but neither of these motions achieved the desired effect; she became dizzy and nauseous again and slumped back against the tub with eyelids fluttering, and her attempt to remove access to that most sensitive part of her had actually trapped Samuel’s hand where she did not want it. She reluctantly opened her legs again, praying he would retract but confused and afraid when he did not.

This was not supposed to be happening. Her father had simply wanted to keep his daughter company and help her relax after a rough time; he certainly did not want to do anything untoward. Seeing his little girl so perturbed had put him on edge, and that is why he had the scotch; it wasn’t because he needed to work up the courage to...to…

Colleen couldn’t even bear to finish the thought.

An involuntary whimper escaped her lips as she felt the cloth brush against her folds, followed by a second whine as the cloth was cast aside and Samuel’s more daring fingers slid across her entrance. Colleen gulped as one finger began to dip inside her, and she began to close her legs again when she felt the rough pad of his thumb circle her clit. Despite herself, she moaned aloud and sank deeper into the water.

That nagging voice in the back of her mind could barely be heard; in some deep dark corner of her subconscious it told her to stop him, to stop this from happening, and most importantly, to stop enjoying it, but Colleen did not care. The sensation of now two fingers pushing inside of her and curling around her cunt, when combined with the rubbing of her clit, resulted in a pleasured mewling escaping from her which she could not seem to control. She was not sure she wanted to.

Her eyes fluttered open to find Samuel’s gray orbs locked on her face, reading her constantly changing features. His own arousal was evident to Colleen in the way his intense stare focused on her and how he licked his parted lips as the saliva pooled in his mouth. Beads of sweat had begun to form on his brow under the strands of hair that had fallen from his normally composed visage, both from the warmth of the bath and his own heightened senses. His breathing became haggard as his eyes glanced away from her face and ran down her naked form, now fully visible in the clear water, until they stopped to watch his hand working her between her legs.

Colleen felt as though she was in a trance, eyelids half-open as she watched Samuel admire his ministrations. As though from far away she heard her moans intensify as his fingers thrust deeper and faster. His eyes snapped back to hers at this and remained there, as if coaxing her through his stare to reach that climax she wanted- no, needed. Their gaze locked; Colleen felt the warmth surge between her legs as she climbed higher and higher, the desperation in her whimpers encouraging Samuel to touch her with a skill she had never known. Suddenly it became too much, or just enough; she was not sure which. All she knew was the slick heat felt incredible between her thighs as her eyes rolled back and she let out one final piercing moan.

Colleen’s ragged breaths were now the only thing she could hear in the acute silence of the bathroom. She blinked her eyes open as Samuel removed his hand; she noticed ripples forming in the bathwater and realized that he was trembling. A glance up at his face showed a man both satisfied and confused, both pleased and guilty.

“Dad...” Colleen muttered, the word feeling thick and surreal on her tongue. Samuel looked away from her when she spoke, standing on shaky limbs. He wiped off his hand on a nearby towel, staring off into the distance with an expression Colleen could not place.

“I, uh, I need to go,” he said abruptly. “I trust you can finish up yourself.”

Before Colleen had a chance to formulate a response, he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack- sorry this took so long! Allergies are making my head spin.
> 
> Check https://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/ for status updates!

Colleen felt trapped.  Several days had passed since what she had mentally dubbed “The Bathtub Incident,” for lack of a better term, and memories of it had been eating her up inside ever since.  During her waking hours it bothered her tremendously, frequently on her mind enough where her discomfort caused her to avoid being in the same room with Samuel for any length of time.  While she slept the scene replayed in her mind, and she often awoke feeling confused and disgusted by the wetness between her thighs. It was steadily driving her mad.

She desperately wanted to tell someone, to talk about what had happened, to get the opinion of an outsider on what had transpired, but who could she possibly trust with that sort of information?  It was the kind of thing she originally would have thought she could confide in to Danny, but he had made it very clear at their last private meeting that he had no desire to be a part of her life.  Colleen really did not know anyone else, having found it difficult to develop relationships with any of the residents as the outsider. Samuel seemed to have made friends, or at least acquaintances, but he left the house frequently to go to his job or run errands.  Colleen was alone. She had no one else except for the man who made her feel this way.

It was for this reason she decided to make an appointment to see the only person she thought might be able to understand and to help: Liam.  As the leader of the community, he was in touch with many of the happenings around town, and Samuel’s frequent visits to the man meant they had developed some sort of relationship.  Samuel seemed to revere Liam, and Colleen hoped this meant Liam would be able to get her father to see reason and why what he did had left her in such a distraught state. He had to be able to help.  She had no other choice.

Her emotions ran high as she crossed the street to the town hall housing Liam’s office.  She was glad he had been willing to meet with her on such short notice, but at the same time the closer she got the more she hesitated.  Would her confession ruin Liam’s relationship with Samuel? Would it get them kicked out of town before Colleen had even been helped? She shook her head slightly, trying to calm her mind.  Liam was a reasonable man, of that she was certain. He would know what to do without overreacting.

As she neared the building the sight of two very blonde young women and a tall dark-haired man laughing jovially caught her attention.  She groaned when she recognized them to be Kelly and Becky, the less than kind schoolteachers she had met during her first community service.  With them, naturally, was Brian, reaffirming Colleen’s suspicions that the handsome yet somewhat creepy man was probably sleeping with them both.  Given their attitudes towards her and towards other community members in general, she was fairly certain they all deserved each other.

Colleen quickened her pace, hoping to avoid a conversation entirely and paling when she heard Brian call her name.  She stopped in her tracks and turned to face them, noting how the two women did not appear pleased that Brian was waving her over.  She tried to hide her grimace, torn between bolting and doing the polite thing and making an appearance. With a sigh she looked at the old clock over the building, realizing that she was in fact several minutes early.  She could afford to be polite.

Trying to plaster a fake smile to her face, Colleen knew she only walked over to join them because of Brian’s position as second-in-command under Liam; she wanted to keep her family in good standing, after all.  The truth of the matter was, she severely disliked Kelly and Becky, mostly because of their cliquishness and the fact that they clearly disliked her for reasons she had yet to figure out. They turned their noses up at her from their first meeting as though something about Colleen offended them.  She knew it could not be just due to her lack of job, though if this particular moment was any indication it may have something to do with Brian’s interest in her.

He was doing that thing again where he undressed her with his eyes, and Colleen tried to shake it off as she approached.  His smile grew almost impossibly wide when she stopped in front of them; she had already cursed herself for wearing a tank top given the autumnal breeze, and now even more so due to the abundance of bare skin she was providing to his gaze.  Perhaps it was time to switch to sweatshirts.

“Good to see you!” Brian said with a grin.  “You remember Kelly and Becky, right?”

The women watched her with looks of disdain.  Colleen nodded and waved weakly at them, forcing a smile that they did not return.  This was shaping up to be an uncomfortable encounter, and when combined with her already disoriented feelings the entire thing made her want to puke.

“I haven’t seen you out much- where are you off to?  I can walk you there.”

It was an offer that the two women seemed appalled by, and for once it was a sentiment Colleen shared.  She shook her head, her fake smile faltering. “I’m just going to meet Liam, and the door is right there, so...I think I can make it on my own.  Thanks though.”

Brian’s eyes narrowed.  “Oh? Why wasn’t I invited?  What are you seeing him for?”

Colleen opened and closed her mouth, stuttering.  “I-I, oh, it’s just...just something I need some help with, that’s all.  No need to trouble you.”

His eyes seemed to darken, then, as if that was not the answer he wanted to hear.  “I want to help you, too, Colleen.”

Before she could respond, Kelly rolled her eyes.  “Liam couldn’t help anyone if he tried.”

Brian laughed hesitantly, looking around as if ensuring no one had overheard her.  “Now, now, Kelly.”

“Oh come on,” piped up Becky.  “If he could my dad wouldn’t still be a raging alcoholic.  You’d do a much better job, Brian, I just know it.”

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t, like, retire and let you run everything,” added Kelly.

Brian almost looked uncomfortable for a brief moment, but Colleen could tell that their sycophancy was practically giving him a hard-on.  He put his arms around each of them, and though he addressed them he stepped closer to Colleen so that his frame towered over her and his eyes never left hers.  “Ladies, ladies! Liam is doing the best he can, and he has done wonders for this community. Don’t ever forget that, we’re all in this together.” His eyes glinted as he smiled at Colleen, who grimaced.  

“I, um…I need to get going,” she said, desperate for a way out.  Brian looked disappointed; Becky and Kelly looked relieved.

“Well.  How unfortunate.  I hope your meeting goes well, and I hope to see you out again.  Perhaps next time we can have a longer chat.” Brian’s interest in her was sincere, but the wink he gave suggested it was more than a chat he wanted.  Feeling vaguely violated, Colleen forced her smile back once more and nodded before turning and making a beeline for the town hall door.

Once inside she took a deep breath, trying to shake off the oddities of that interaction and focus on the task at hand.  She was there because of her father. Everything else was secondary. Everything else could wait. The previous encounter had indeed reminded her why she had to have this meeting in the first place; she could not trust anyone else.

Now only just on time, Liam’s secretary led her quickly to his office, where she took another deep breath before opening the door.  It shut behind her with a soft  _ thud _ , leaving her inside what could be considered a rather cramped small office full of bookshelves while Liam peered at her from the other side of his desk.

Colleen could feel herself begin to hyperventilate. Inwardly she chastised herself for being so weak, for being unable to confess something that wasn't even her doing without having a panic attack; that only made things worse, and she propped herself up with a wobbly arm on Liam's desk as she tried to take deep even breaths. Liam stared up at her with a calm expression, studying her for several moments before leaning back in his chair.

“Sit, please. Before you fall.”

Colleen shakily sunk into the old wooden chair opposite the desk, but something about Liam's composed disposition and the tiny office kept her from being at ease. She felt like she was about to be reprimanded for something, but she had done nothing. She truly was the victim.

Shaking off the feelings of discomfort, Colleen took a deep breath and wondered where to begin. She couldn't very well dive right into it; that didn't seem right. She wasn't trying to get Samuel into trouble per se, she just didn't- no, couldn't understand what had transpired between them. All she wanted was a second opinion and someone to ensure it never happened again.

“So, uh, you know how I'm here in this town because of my dad, right?” She laughed nervously as Liam nodded. “Well he's- let me start by saying he's been great, I mean he's been a good father. He's always wanted what was best for me, even when I pushed him away. And I did, I admit that, I really pushed him away, and I..I regret it.”

Colleen's eyes welled with tears as her regret surfaced. She shook them away, wiping furiously at her cheeks. This wasn't how this was supposed to go; she was there to criticise her father, not to defend him. Liam continued to look at her with a flat expression but made no effort to offer her the box of tissues just out of arm's reach.

“The thing is, um, so something happened a couple of days ago, something personal, and it actually really upset me- that's really besides the point, but I got home and he was there, and he comforted me and hugged me and everything, but I still wasn't feeling great so I thought I'd take a bath, and-”

“I don’t need your life story, Miss Bell,” Liam interrupted curtly.  “Just tell me why you requested to see me.”

Colleen gulped; she knew she was rambling, afraid of speaking the truth, but did he have to be so rude about it?  She thought his entire purpose was to help the residents, so shouldn’t he be respectful and want to hear every detail?  Her father spoke highly of this man, but the truth was that she saw very little of him with the exception of the community gatherings despite the fact that she was there for her behavior to be ‘fixed’.  Had he been purposely avoiding her for some reason? Was she such a lost cause that he did not even want to hear her problems? These were troubling thoughts, of course, but they had to wait; she had come for a reason.

“I, um, well, h-he joined me in the bathroom- not in the tub or anything, he just sort of helped wash me, and-” A glance at Liam showed he was quickly becoming disinterested again; she would have to confess soon lest he kick her out.  Taking a deep breath, Colleen sat up straighter in the chair and summoned what little courage she had to finally blurt it out. “He touched me.”

The eyebrow that Liam raised remained in that position for several seconds, as though she had truly said something to surprise him.  He did not seem appalled, however, as Colleen expected he would. “Well of course he had to touch you if he was washing you.”

She shook her head.  “No, not- not that. He...he fingered me,” she said quietly, face burning as she looked down at her shoes.  There, she said it. It was no longer a secret between her and her father, but something she had shared with someone capable of actually convincing Samuel of his wrongdoing.  She waited with bated breath to hear Liam’s response, wondering if he would immediately send for Samuel and discuss the matter with them both. Instead he pursed his lips, looking at her long and hard from behind the desk, and when he finally spoke Colleen felt a profound sense of dread.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“W-what?  What do you- of course I didn’t, h-he’s my dad, I-”

Liam did not appear convinced, sitting back again in his chair as though this was the most casual topic of conversation one could engage in.  “Did you orgasm?”

Colleen blanched, gaping at the man regarding her with some degree of disdain. She tried to break eye contact to determine the best way to respond, but his gaze held her fast.  Eventually she gave up, sighing with a meek, “Yes.”

“Mmhmm,” was Liam’s only reply.

“B-but I didn’t want to!” Colleen was quick to nearly shout.  “I...I didn’t…”

“But you did,” said Liam evenly.  “I do believe that means you must have enjoyed it.”

Colleen knew that wasn’t true; she knew deep down that orgasming during unwanted sexual advances did not mean you necessarily enjoyed the experience.  But suddenly sitting in that small room, Liam’s piercing eyes capturing her own, she began to doubt this knowledge she had always accepted as fact. Had she actually wanted her father to touch her like that?  Had she missed their close relationship so much she really wanted to take it to that next level? No, that couldn’t be. She opened her mouth to say as much when Liam sat forward and clasped his hands on the desk.

“I don’t think you are truly appreciative of everything your father has done for you, Miss Bell,” he began, and Colleen felt the guilt begin to rise again through her tears.  “He uprooted his entire life- a stable life, a good life- to come here because he could not handle all of these incidents caused by you. You’re a troublemaker, Miss Bell, and I think you know that.  Whether you’re doing it intentionally or not remains to be seen, but the fact of the matter is your behavior is highly inappropriate for a young woman. Your father had to leave everything behind to bring you here, and how did you repay him?  By sleeping with a married man within the first few weeks.”

Colleen balked; how did he know about Danny?  She thought they had been more discreet, but what did it matter?  Thoughts of Danny, combined with thoughts of the hell she had given her father all these years, meant the tears flowed freely; she was not even sure if they were related to her perceived molestation anymore.  She wanted more than anything to leave that cramped room, to admit coming there was a mistake, and to go home and curl up in bed and cry herself to sleep. But Liam was not finished.

“What do you have to show for your life, Miss Bell?  You have relied so much on Daddy to provide everything for you, everything you lack in education and life skills.  We haven’t even been able to settle on a job for you here because we simply cannot find anything suiting your lack of abilities.  If I were you, I would be grateful for your father’s continued tolerance of your antics, and I would wholly appreciate any affection he dares to deem appropriate for someone such as yourself.”  He leaned back in his chair again, eyes never leaving the miserable young woman now sobbing in front of him. “Go home, Colleen.”

_ Go home _ .  Danny had said the same thing to her when he left her.  Was that really what she was supposed to do? It made more and more logical sense the more she heard it, and as much as she had dreaded seeing her father after this meeting she suddenly wanted him to hold her.  It did not make any sense; on the one hand, she had come here looking for a reprimand for him for touching her, yet on the other his affection was the exact thing she craved in this moment. She needed to know she was a good daughter.  She needed to know she had not ruined both of their lives.

The walk home, though only across the main street, seemed to take an eternity.  She had left Liam’s office without another word, just as shaky as she had entered but for different reasons.   _ He still loves me _ , she told herself over and over.   _ He’s my dad, he has to love me _ .

The conflicting emotions and ideas swarming within Colleen were exhausting, and she wanted nothing more than to shut out the world.  There was one person who had always been good at helping her do that, even when he was the source of her turmoil, and she thought of no one she would rather be with as tears streamed down her face.

_ I’m sorry _ .

 

The television signal came in surprisingly well despite the remoteness of the town, yet nothing on was able to provide the distraction Samuel craved.  It had been over a week since his risky alcohol driven intimacy with his daughter, and she had done nothing since then but avoid him almost entirely. He replayed the events of that fateful night over and over in his mind, desperately searching for some sign as to what he had done wrong or how he could have approached it differently.  At first the images brought him comfort knowing he had been able to bring her to orgasm with only his fingers, something he had overheard her whine to previous partners about not being able to accomplish on numerous occasions; however, over time her avoidance and seeming inability to carry on a conversation with him made one thing certain.

He had fucked up.  He had royally fucked up.

He thought he had been clever, using the drug Liam provided to get her to relax, while using alcohol to calm himself enough to act on any impulses he had.  In truth he had not entered the bathroom expecting for things to go has they had; he simply wanted her to calm down and let him spend time being close to her, and that way he could watch her in case the drug had any adverse effects.  What it let him do, however, without her trying to stop him, was enough to make his head spin.

Samuel thought about it often enough he was sure he had the event memorized.  He could not get that image out of his mind, her eyes half-closed and her naked body bucking beneath him.  It was more erotic than he could have ever imagined, and it was unsurprising he had one of the best orgasms he had ever had during his subsequent masturbation.  It did not even really occur to him that he had done anything that could be considered improper until Colleen started leaving a room every time he entered, until her conversations with him barely exceeded a couple of words.  Worst of all, she would not make eye contact with him. It was as though he had broken their carefully crafted close relationship, one that had spanned decades. He had destroyed it all in one evening.

Samuel felt the anxiety attack building in his chest, his breaths becoming shallow and his heart rate quickening.  The fact that he had thrown away all of his old expired medication prior to moving did not help matters, but he had been so sure he would not need it.  Yet here he was, on the verge of panicking while seated on what would have otherwise been a very comfortable sofa. Nothing on the television would distract him now.

Closing his eyes, Samuel took in a deep breath and began to count.   _ One...two… _ An image of Colleen beaming up at him entered his mind.   _ Three...four… _ The memory of her pressed against him at the pool party, her small frame fitting perfectly as though she belonged there.   _ Five...six... _ A vision of her in the bathtub, eyelids fluttering as she moaned and pushed her hips into his hand.   _ Seven...eight… _ Her look of confusion and betrayal as he stood to leave- oh what had he done?  She must hate him now...

“Dad?”

Samuel’s eyes snapped open to find Colleen standing over him, blocking the television and staring down with a concerned look on her face.  His breath was still haggard and he was acutely aware of the beads of sweat forming on his brow, which he wiped away with the back of his hand as he tried to sit up straighter and cleared his throat.

“Mm, yes?”

Colleen was not fooled.  “Are...are you okay?” she asked quietly, and when he did not answer she hesitantly reached out to place one of her hands on his.  “You’re shaking.”

Samuel’s first instinct was to jerk away from her touch but he suppressed the urge, instead meeting her wide eyes with his own.  Her eyes were red and puffy, and he briefly wondered how her allergies could be this bad so late in the fall season. “I’m- I’m fine,” he mumbled.

She shook her head.  “You’re not fine. Where are your pills?”

Samuel winced.  How could he explain to her why he had gotten rid of them?  How could she possibly understand that he hoped in being cured of his desire for her some of his other issues would go away as well?  “I dunno, I haven’t been able to find them in any of the boxes,” he opted to say, which was not entirely a lie. He glanced up at her as she sighed and cleared his throat again.  “Look, I’ll be fine. It’s already passing, see? I just need to put on a movie or something and clear my head.”

Colleen’s hand was still on his, making his heart thump in his chest.  He fully expected her to leave then, to let him wallow in self-pity she wouldn’t understand even if he tried to explain it to her.  She had barely spoken to him as of late, and this was only an exception because he must look a wreck. She had a right to be concerned, but that was as far as this would go.

He was so certain of this fact that when she next spoke her words took him completely by surprise.

“Can I join you?”

Samuel’s gaze snapped to Colleen’s where he found her looking inexplicably contrite.  For a brief moment he thought he saw tears in her eyes, but he must have imagined it because when he looked again they were gone.  He opened and closed his mouth several times, unsure of what to say. Of course he wanted her to join him, he just was unsure of why she wanted to.  Could it be she was not upset with him after all?

“Of course, darling,” he said with a small smile which Colleen returned, albeit briefly.  She sat maybe six inches away from him on the couch, leaning forward slightly and clasping her hands on her knees as though she could not decide on how to get comfortable.  Samuel sank back into the corner he sat in, picking up the remote from the side table and offering it to her. “Here. I haven’t had much luck.”

Colleen took the remote and began flipping through the guide, pausing every so often to read a description before flicking to the next choice.  Samuel watched her from the corner of his eye, the anxiety largely abated but replaced with entirely new feelings. Sure, her presence had calmed him nearly completely, but he found himself wanting to reach out and touch the smooth skin of her arm, to pull her in close to him and taste those plush lips.  He found himself salivating at the very thought, glad when Colleen finally settled on a movie and handed him back the remote. Their fingertips brushed as she did so, and though she tried to act casual Samuel could feel her jerk away. He let out a slight sigh as he placed the remote back on the table, deciding it was in his best interest to prop up his head on his elbow on the armrest so he was turned slightly away from her.  If she was interested in keeping her distance, he could not force it as much as he wanted to.

He did not recognize the movie she selected, but it did not take long before he gathered it was a romantic comedy of some sort.  He felt his insides twist and clench as the characters grew closer and more intimate, and though the sex scene was edited for television it still put him on edge being so close to Colleen.  Part of him wished she had not decided to sit with him, as it was eating him up inside in a way she could not fathom, but it was far too late to tell her to leave without being rude. He would have to suffer.

Samuel knew she had moved closer to him as the movie progressed, but he contributed her shift to the sinking cushions.  Before long their hips touched and her arm pressed against his; he could see down her shirt and gulped, forcing his attention back to the film lest she notice the erection threatening to form.  Her next move, however, caused his entire body to go rigid as he filled with dread.

Having apparently decided that leaning against Samuel’s side was not enough, Colleen grabbed one of the pillows next to her and placed it on his leg before scooting over to lay down on the couch with her head in his lap.  Samuel prayed the hiss he let out was only in his head and that the pillow was dense enough that she could not feel his cock harden at her new position. She did not seem to notice or care, curled up slightly and snuggled against him.

Samuel tried to keep his breathing even as he looked down at her, her eyes fixated on the screen.  She looked so beautiful, so peaceful, and try as he might he could not suppress all of the urges building inside of him.  Without giving it much thought, he impulsively reached down to brush some hair from her forehead and caress her cheek.

He heard her inhale sharply at his touch, but much to his surprise she did not move away.  In fact, as he continued to run his fingers over her jawline, her collarbone, her bare shoulder, he thought he saw a smile play about the corner of her lips.  He could not be sure in the relative darkness of the room, but he liked to believe it was truly there. His own smile certainly was.

Perhaps he had not fucked up after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW AND IMPROVED:: https://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/

_ Dear Colleen, _

_ Where to begin?  I feel as though I am overflowing with thoughts and emotions that I cannot articulate.  Saying that something has changed in me would be an abject lie, as I am certain I am the same person I have always been.  Perhaps I am simply seeing the same things differently, in a manner that has opened my eyes to all that I have been missing all these years.  That, Colleen, is you. _

_ I can admit that it was not my intent to touch you as I did that night.  In truth, all I wanted was for you to stop crying and smile once more. I was unsure of how you would react to that supplement Liam gave me- perfectly safe, I have been assured- but I knew I could not bear to sit next to you while you bathed without feeling great discomfort.  Alcohol seemed like the best solution to that issue, and it did calm my nerves quite a bit. I was able to avoid watching you undress, and I was largely pleased that the bubbles hid your bare form so you would not notice the effect you had on me. I was not ready, Colleen. I wasn't. _

_ Offering to clean your face of the smudged makeup was a bit of a dishonest trick to get you to allow me to touch you.  I wanted to hold you more than anything, and I would be lying if I did not admit I imagined myself in the tub as well with you nestled in my arms.   But when I finished wiping away your tears, it was not enough. I wanted more. _

_ Before I knew it those bubbles I had relied so heavily upon for my own sanity began to fade.  I did not notice at first, preoccupied with the washcloth, but as I began to wash your chest their disappearance became all I could think about.  I felt as though I could not stop, lest you realize anything was amiss. It seemed only natural to continue, to wash lower, and before I knew it I...I don’t know what came over me. _

_ I thought for sure you were going to yell, to push me away, and I was so pleasantly surprised when you did not.  I didn’t fully understand how you must have felt, and I still don’t, but the one thing I was certain of was that you felt so  _ good _.  I only ever imagined what it must be like to touch you so intimately, and it was beyond even my wildest dreams. _

_ Watching you writhe and moan, feeling your body tense in orgasm- these are memories I cannot soon forget.  I have replayed them over and over in my mind countless times and I will continue to do so even if this is as far as we go.  I do hope it is not, though. I yearn for so much more of you, to make you understand just how deeply I love you. You are so precious to me, and I hope I’ve helped you to realize that.  I hope you don’t hate me for it, as I could never hate you. You are my everything. _

_ Perhaps someday we can have this discussion face-to-face.  I’d like that. I don’t think you’re ready yet, and admittedly neither am I, but I know this must be confusing for you.  I just want to be there for you, for anything and everything you need. I want to be yours, Colleen, in the same way that you are mine. _

_ All my love, _

_ Dad _

 

As October ended and the autumnal chill of November found its way to Happy Meadows, something startling occurred to the very lonely and very bored Colleen: no one in this town celebrated Halloween.  She had been in such a strange mood ever since the bathtub encounter with her father that she nearly missed the date entirely, but it was not until two days prior that she realized there were no decorations, no parties, no kids shopping for costumes, and no candy.  It would have been perfect, too, with the holiday falling on a Saturday. Kids could stay up late without worrying about going to school, and teens and adults could party all night without repercussion. Colleen very much wanted to be a part of it, and she was sorely disappointed when she learned the disturbing fact that here it simply was not a thing.

On one of the rare occasions when a group of children passed through the park housing what had quickly become her personal swingset, she dared ask them what they were dressing up as for Halloween.  They looked at her, perplexed, their young eyes wide with concern. She tried explaining it to them to no avail; they simply had never heard of it. It just did not make any sense to her.

Happy Meadows was not, so far as she could tell, a religious institution, so why on earth would they erase Halloween?  After giving it a lot of thought, the best she could figure was that it was part of some creepy effort to rein in the children and make sure their upbringing was in line with the ideals of the community.  Those ideals, apparently, did not include dressing up like witches and skeletons and eating candy and having a good time. It was a small thing, but nevertheless it put Colleen on edge.

Everyone in the town was just too polite, with a few notable exceptions.  The more Colleen attended the Sunday community gatherings, the more discomfort she felt.  Again, religion was never mentioned, but the close-knit feel of the place combined with how everyone seemed to revere Liam above all else had her concerned more than once that something was not quite right.  Liam did not seem to be exerting control over the residents; on the contrary, he spoke often of free will and being guided to do the right thing for one’s personal fulfillment. Yet something about the calm demeanor of the man irked her, the very thing that had made her meeting with him almost unbearable.

Perhaps he did know what he was doing, though.  His methods, as mysterious as they were, seemed strange to Colleen, but after their last conversation she had to admit that she had never felt closer to her father.  Something about those harsh words Liam spoke hit home, and she had made a point since then to make herself more available to Samuel around the house. It took another week or so, but pretty soon they were laughing and chatting as they used to before they uprooted, before they moved, before any sense of impropriety between them.

They reinstated board game Thursdays, went out to eat at the local diner where Colleen always ordered breakfast food for dinner, and cuddled on the couch watching movies so late that sometimes she would fall asleep curled up in his lap.  She would wake up just enough to notice when he carried her up to her room, smiling as he planted a warm kiss on her forehead that seemed to linger until the next morning. Whatever awkwardness that had grown between them had faded.

It was because of this that Colleen felt comfortable holding his hand as they walked to the next community service, the one marking the first of November.  It probably looked a bit weird, she mused, a grown woman holding hands with her father, but as her nerves began to climb she felt Samuel give her hand a squeeze that was both reassuring and an indication he was not going to let go.  She only had to half force the smile she gave Becky and Kelly as they gave her and her father’s clasped hands an appalled look, and she allowed the smile to remain even as she caught Danny’s eye before he quickly looked away.

Fortunately, Samuel seated them away from these particular individuals, whether on purpose or not Colleen could not be sure.  Regardless, she was grateful, and settled in next to him with her head not quite on his shoulder. As the various speakers began their moral lesson for the day, she felt Samuel’s hand fall from his leg so that his fingers brushed against her bare thigh.  At first she attributed it to an accident, but as he continued to stroke beneath the fabric of her dress she knew otherwise. She stared up at him, his gleaming eyes never leaving the podium, and as his fingers danced nearer to her hip she suddenly remembered the bathtub felt a familiar surge of warmth return between her legs.  Alarmed and embarrassed, Colleen clenched her fists and squeezed her thighs shut, disturbed when all it did was create a friction that left her craving more.  _ Not the time nor the place _ , she told herself; if Samuel knew of her discomfort he did not make it known.

Liam took his position on stage as the keynote speaker, as he often did barring some emergency that kept him from this engagement.  He looked around the room and smiled, that eerie calm smile that Colleen had come to dread. Placing a hand on either side of the lectern, he flipped through a few pages of notes before turning them over and clearing his throat.

“First and only order of business for today that I wish to discuss concerns the petition to establish a continuous law enforcement presence and jail in town.  I know this has been a great concern of many of you, and that is why I wanted to speak to this issue personally.

“The answer is no.”  Murmurs emanated from the crowd; several people appeared visibly upset, though none more so than Brian, who stood from where he sat near Liam on the stage.  “I have given it thought, please do realize that, and it simply does not reflect our ideals as a town. I do not believe it is something that we need, nor do I believe it is something we will ever need.  Law enforcement is unnecessary when we have the means to communicate with each other, and quite frankly the idea of housing a jail here appalls me. Now, I know a lot of effort went into collecting these signatures, and-”

“You’re damn right!”  Brian had approached the lectern and was glowering at Liam, hands balled into fists.  “I spent a lot of time getting those names, and you’re going to dismiss it just like that?  Without even discussing it with me? I thought being The Second meant something, but if you’re just going to throw out my opinion before even asking-”

Colleen blinked.  What the hell was a Second?  It sounded like a rank, but surely they had a better name than that.  Furthermore, this town really had no law enforcement? The more she thought about it the more she realized there was no sheriff or anything of the sort; she never saw cops, never heard of any crimes.  But if she never heard of crimes, what was the point of establishing a jail?

“Brian, you know this is not the appropriate time to be discussing this.  If you would like, I would be happy to explain my full decision process to you after the morning session-”

“Why does it even matter?  You’ve already made up your mind, and there isn’t anything I-  _ we _ \- can do to convince you.  Do you really think we want to sit around when there are bad people in our midst, people that can’t be helped?  Do you think we want to sit around knowing there are pedophiles here in our very town? I don’t think so!”

Liam’s eyes narrowed.  “Be careful that you aren’t confusing what is best for the town with your own personal vendettas, Brian,” he said coolly.  Surely you would not make that mistake.”

Colleen’s eyes widened when she remembered Brian’s admission of Danny’s illegal pornographic pursuits.  She scanned the crowd for the man, her stomach turning when she found him staring at the floor, embarrassed and contrite.  For Brian to call him out like that, though not by name; what the hell had happened between them? Despite his dismissal of her she found herself wanting to comfort him, distracted only by Samuel’s warm hand squeezing her knee.

Brian and Liam were staring at each other, the former’s jaw clenched in anger.  Finally he threw up his hands and backed up, turning to storm out of the room without another word.  Liam watched the door he slammed for many seconds after he left before finally turning back to the room with a wry smile.  “My apologies. I do encourage anyone who takes issue with my decision to make an appointment to see me, and I promise I will answer any of your concerns.”

Colleen looked back over at Danny, who honestly looked like he was about to cry.  It was driving her insane, and she wanted more than anything to run after Brian and ask him what the hell his problem was.  His outburst cast a pall over the entire service, and one thing stood out loud and clear: Happy Meadows was not entirely happy after all.

 

Samuel watched Brian leave the room with a furrowed brow.  He was not entirely sure as to what had just taken place, though as he noticed Colleen’s eyes darting over to Danny he wondered if she might have some insight.  He decided it was better that he did not know; it was not his place, after all, to question whatever went on between Liam and Brian and their leadership. He wanted nothing to do with those matters, particularly if Danny was involved.  The bastard could rot for all he cared.

He gave Colleen’s knee a squeeze, pleased that she had allowed him to leave his hand on her bare thigh for the entire service thus far and had not once tried to remove it.  He told himself he was imagining things when he heard her catch her breath as he moved up her hip, but the thought of having any sort of effect on her whatsoever was enough to leave him giddy even in the wake of such fury.  She had gone back to cuddling and conversing with him over the past week, if possible perhaps even more so than she used to. He had no complaints, of course, and when she let him take her hand during their walk to the community center that morning he was elated.  This was unexpected, that was for sure, and he definitely would not consider himself anywhere near cured, but he was happy. They were happy.

“I had something prepared for today,” Liam began slowly, gauging the responses in the crowd, “but I feel as though there is something else I should speak to you all about.  Something far more relevant, something very dear to my heart. And that is, to put it quite frankly, all of you.

“When I started this endeavor many years ago it was not for any sort of personal gain, though some may have you believe such a flagrant lie.  I simply wanted to help people, people like you, to overcome obstacles and find ways to become the best self you can. I like to think that I have achieved that, at least to some degree.  I would be nothing without you, and for that I am truly humbled.

“And that brings me to the main point I wish to make, which is that we are all in this together.  I know I have stressed time and time again about the importance of family, but the truth is that family transcends blood bonds.  I consider each and every one of you in this room my family, regardless of how long you have lived in this community or the contributions you have made.  I encourage you to show the same compassion for your fellow residents, and if there is something they ask of you please consider carefully before handing down rejection.  I think if we can all learn to trust and help one another, things will continue to go as smoothly as they have this past decade. I need your help to do that, yes?”

Despite the drama the congregation had been presented with only minutes prior, they erupted in applause.  Samuel for the first time that service removed his hand from Colleen’s leg so that he too could join in, nearly feeling tears well in his eyes at Liam’s words.  Nowhere had he ever felt so welcomed, so needed, and it was because of Liam’s advice that he had shared that special moment with his daughter. Coming here may have been the best decision he ever made.

The rest of the service went by without incident, with Samuel choosing to capture Colleen’s small hand in his for the remainder of the speeches.  He ran his thumb over her knuckles, delighted to feel her thin fingers tighten around his. As the service ended, he went to rise but she remained rooted in her chair.  Frowning, he sat back next to her, reaching up to brush some hair from her face.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

“I…” Colleen began with a sigh, looking around as if to ensure no one was listening.  “This whole...this service just has me on edge, I dunno.”

Samuel continued to stroke her face, using the excuse of perfecting the individual hairs as a reason to touch her.  “It’s understandable, dear. After that strange outburst from Brian-”

“Dad, do you...do you trust Liam?”

It was only then that Samuel’s hand fell from her face; he stared down into her wide eyes feeling somehow wounded.  What did she mean, did he trust Liam? How could he not trust him?

That was exactly what he said.  “How can I not, Colleen? He’s- he’s been wonderful.  He’s done so much for me, for us.”

Colleen bit her lip, a motion that made Samuel want to kiss her all the more.  “But I mean...I thought we were here because of me, right? And I’ve never- he’s never asked to see me, for any kind of therapy…”

Samuel smiled.  Ah. Was that all this was about?  Of course, that made perfect sense; she was just concerned that she was not getting better.

“He will see you when he feels you’re ready,” he lied, unsure of how they were going to deal with the fact that her behavior was still cover for his lust.  “I would not worry about it.”

Colleen’s smile seemed forced, but Samuel accepted it regardless.  He leaned in and planted a firm kiss on her forehead and then, feeling daring, leaned down to plant another just outside of the corner of her mouth.  She looked up at him, and he was satisfied with the slight blush he saw form upon her cheeks.

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand, “I think it is time for some coffee.”

 

Colleen finally managed to sneak away from the crowds, wandering the hallways of the old building much as she did upon her arrival to the town.  It all still seemed so foreign, and part of her thought she would never get used to living here. It was so surreal.

She found herself in a new room she never noticed before, one that appeared to be a supply room of some sort.  It was rather large in size and featured everything from dishes and cutlery to crayons and colored paper to blocks of wood and tools; she felt as though she could get lost just looking at the myriad of various items available.  Better to be prepared, she supposed, though it seemed odd they would all be stacked together.

She ran her fingers over some of the expensive looking plates and smiled, remembering the china cabinet of her childhood home.  They would always get those dishes out for holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, but besides those few occasions they would remain locked away and pristine.  Thinking of her childhood made Colleen’s stomach twist into knots, and as she wondered if she was going to have an actual panic attack she rounded a corner and ran face first into what was apparently the room’s other occupant.

Danny had stepped away instinctively, pushing her back and holding her shoulders at arm’s length.  Colleen stared up at him, her panic rising again but for entirely new reasons. He had not been crying, but he still seemed distraught, and clearly hiding in here as he had he wanted to be alone.  She was interrupting; he would definitely not want her around.

“I-I’m sorry,” she stuttered, trying to step back only to find his grip on her shoulders unrelenting.  She blinked and looked at the turmoil in his features, his head hanging. “Danny…” she whispered, then gasped as he abruptly pulled her toward him and captured her in an embrace.  She stiffened at first, only relaxing after several deep breaths and the feeling of him stroking her back. Gingerly she reached up and wrapped her arms around him; he pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck.

Colleen was unsure of what was happening.  Danny had made it incredibly clear to her the last time they met in private that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, and here he was holding on to her as though for dear life.  Did it have to do with what Brian said? No, she could not ask that; it felt too wrong, too personal. She would have to settle for just hugging him back, running her hand through his hair and clutching at his shirt.

A strange sensation struck Colleen as they stood there, Danny’s head still in the crook of her neck.  She had felt his hot breath on her shoulder, which she expected, but the sudden wetness along her collarbone made her tense.  She opened her mouth in weak protest, but all that came out was a small whimper as he nipped at a sensitive spot under her jaw.  God, how she had missed this.

Nagging thoughts entered her mind as Danny lifted his head and pressed his mouth to hers, sliding his tongue inside.  Even as she returned the kiss and ran her hands over the front of his shirt to feel the firm muscles beneath, she knew she should stop.  She knew a million reasons she should stop.

Truth be told, she did not even know if Danny truly wanted her or was just looking for a welcome young distraction.  She knew she should stop because of what he said before, because of his family, his wife, but as Danny dipped one hand into the bodice of her dress and palmed her breast she found herself unable to care.  She knew she should stop because she was probably filling some perverted fantasy of his that she should not encourage, yet she found herself undoing his belt and unbuttoning his jeans while he hissed in appreciation.

As Danny settled down on a stack of hardwood flooring material boxes in the corner, Colleen quickly removed her panties and threw them aside, noticing only briefly how wet they already were.  Something in her mind kept nagging her about that particular fact, however, and as she straddled Danny’s hips and lowered herself onto his throbbing cock she suddenly remembered her father’s wandering hand during the congregation and how it reminded her of the way he so skillfully brought her to orgasm.

Danny’s hips bucked up into hers, but she could not be completely sure if the choked moan she let out was entirely for him.

Colleen rode him hard, bracing herself with her hands on his shoulders and desperate to shake the memories of her father’s touch flooding her mind.  Danny’s hands running up her hips, though, did not help matters, and it was not too long before she found herself imagining Samuel beneath her when she closed her eyes.  She shook away the image, repeating over and over to herself,  _ You do not want to have sex with your father, you do not want to have sex with your father _ .

Seemingly just as she shook these visions from her mind, something clattering behind her made both of them stop moving; breathless, she craned her neck only for her jaw to drop, horrified at what she saw: Samuel stood only feet away, an old fallen tin can at his feet, looking livid.

Colleen suddenly felt immensely apologetic.  She had acted rashly, not taking her father’s feelings into consideration; what even exactly were those feelings?  Should she have avoided screwing Danny because he father wanted to touch her? That made no logical sense, yet it was still the very source of guilt that bubbled up inside her.

She opened her mouth to say she was sorry, shifting to move off of Danny, but he held her hips firmly in place.  She hissed at him, and when she turned back she found Samuel had moved to stand right behind her; she gasped, but as she did he took the opportunity to slip his tongue between her parted lips.  All thoughts of  _ You do not want to have sex with your father _ seemed very distant then, and she groaned into his mouth as Danny resumed his thrusts.

“Dad…” Colleen whispered as Samuel pulled back slightly to suckle spots on her neck.  She could hear him unfastening his belt buckle and the sound of a zipper, yet they seemed so very far away through her panting and Danny’s grunting.  One of his arms snaked around her front and he took her breast in his hand, kneading it through the fabric of her dress and eliciting an involuntary whimper.

“Did you really think you could sneak off without me noticing?” he growled, the vibrations in his chest thrumming against Colleen’s back.  She opened her mouth to reply but was met with a nip to her shoulder. “Do you think me so naive as to not realize what you must be doing and who you must be doing it with?”

Colleen looked down at Danny full of remorse, but his eyes were half-closed as he continued to buck into her.  Tears began to well as she fully realized the pleasure she took in each thrust, and she started to shift so she could disengage.  “I’m sorry, Daddy…”

Even as Danny let out a noise of complaint Samuel grabbed her hips and slammed then back down; she moaned and squirmed, confused as to what he was doing.  It felt like he was guiding her hips to grind against Danny’s, nails almost digging into her skin.

“Please, don’t stop on my account,” he said breathlessly.  “I want you to enjoy this every bit as I do.”

Colleen’s eyes widened, wondering what exactly he intended.  She gasped a bit as his hands shifted from her hips beneath her dress to her backside, spreading her ass cheeks slightly.   _ He couldn’t mean- _

She heard a small  _ pop _ and then felt the coolness of Samuel’s fingers smearing lube against her asshole, shuddering when he began to push two fingers inside.  Wait, why was he carrying lube? None of this made any sense; part of Colleen thought she must be dreaming, but it all felt so real…

This was not an unfamiliar sensation to her given all the various kinds of sex she’d had over the years, but feeling her father stretch her in preparation for what she knew to come next filled her with ecstacy and anxiety all at once.  Suddenly, as expected, she felt the head of his cock replace his fingers and she let out a high-pitched whine.

Inch by inch he forced himself inside of her, stretching her ass nearly to the point of pain.  Danny had paused his thrusts to allow Samuel easier entry, but now they both began to slide in and out.  Colleen’s senses felt like they were overloading; the pleasure was just too much. She braced herself on Danny’s shoulders again, arching her back into her father where he kissed and nipped at her collarbone.  Was this really what she wanted? Was this really what she had been missing all this time?

Soon the ecstacy began to build, the warm friction sending her teetering near the edge of a climax she could not avoid.  Feeling her father’s breath, hot on her ear, and the caress of his hands on her bare skin; she knew she was going to reach the end with little help.  One particularly powerful thrust from each of them and she felt it bubble up inside of her like a tidal wave, crashing down on her as she moaned.

_ You do not want to have sex with your father. _

Except when the wave receded, Colleen was in bed in the house she and Samuel shared, alone, twisted in sweat-soaked sheets still reeling from the powerful orgasm that shook her body.  She put a hand to her forehead with a groan as she remembered in vivid detail the content of the dream, the conflicting feelings it evoked. Even then she felt a tingling in her lower abdomen, a stark reminder of what those images had done.

She could understand dreaming about Danny; hell it wasn’t the first time.  Given her desire to comfort him at the service earlier it was not entirely unexpected, but how was she supposed to interpret the rest of it?

Sleeping with her father was never something that entered her radar; even after their intimate encounter in the bathtub she did not see it as a possibility.  But this- this changed everything. It was no longer a taboo she could just shut out and pretend did not exist, as deep down it seemed her mind believed it was more than appropriate.  With the way Samuel had been acting towards her, the way he had touched her previously, the way he stroked her leg earlier that day, surely he must want to sleep with her. He had probably thought about it long before she had, perhaps on multiple occasions.

Colleen could not fully understand why that thought made her smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Colleen pulled her sweatshirt tighter around her shivering body as she stepped out into the cold air.  It was nearly December, the fact made all the more apparent by the cold dry air and the looming threat of snow.  She was still unfamiliar with the local climate but snow was snow, and she swore she saw a few stray flurries on more than one occasion.  It was shaping up to be a rough winter.

Not that she particularly minded, of course.  The chilly days and even colder nights had given her an excuse to curl up on the couch drinking cocoa and watching movies with her father, a pastime from happier days that she rather enjoyed.  His mood had brightened considerably over the past couple of weeks, and Colleen had a sneaking suspicion it was tied to her acceptance of his increased physical affection. He often put an arm around her, sneaking in a kiss to her forehead during a lull in whatever they were watching.  Sometimes he would pull her into his lap, placing his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms tightly around her waist as if she was about to slip away. She would then settle in against him, placing a hand on his, as a gentle reminder that she was not going anywhere.

Memories often surfaced then of the erotic dream she had experienced, and of the many that had come after the first.  In the beginning they always featured Danny as well, but over time his role diminished and soon Samuel was the only participant.  Some of them seemed so real that she found herself wondering if he truly had climbed into her bed once or twice, placing his hot moist lips against hers and climbing atop her sleeping figure while caressing her body until she succumbed to his will.

These dreams always left her aroused, confused, and conflicted.  Surely this was not a normal way of thinking, but it seemed as though her mind simply could not be swayed.  The nights when she sat in his lap she sometimes thought she could feel his own arousal, and the conflict within her rose again as she felt herself getting wet.  As much as she hated to admit it, she looked forward to those nights the most.

It was with that line of thinking that she offered to be the one to run errands and visit the grocery store, knowing they needed food for dinner and were currently running low on cocoa mix.  Samuel seemed grateful, buried in accounting paperwork for the town that Colleen could not begin to have any hope of understanding. He was apologetic, insisting he wished he could go with her, but one look at the stress in his face, his mussed hair, and his disheveled clothes, and she knew he needed some time to think.

The wind whipped around her as she neared the small store, and she chided herself for wearing jeans with pre-distressed holes in them as if she were making some bold fashion choice.  The truth was that they were the only ones clean, as she had fallen behind on laundry, but she could feign ignorance as to them being out of style. At least the oversized sweatshirt, one of Samuel's from his college days, afforded her some warmth.

It did not take Colleen long to procure a large portion of the small list of items they required.  Due to Samuel's preoccupation with ledgers and numbers she had offered to make dinner, and crispy rice chicken with roasted vegetables was about as easy as one could get.  Satisfied with her entree choice and ingredients, she made her way over to the coffee section in search of cocoa. The selection was slim, but they had the one brand that she had enjoyed ever since childhood.  With a small smile she reached to grab a box, startled when her hand brushed against another with the same idea in mind.

Colleen recoiled on instinct, not used to physical contact outside of what she had with Samuel.  “G-go ahead,” she said meekly, then blinked when the person did not respond. She glanced over at them, her eyes widening as she saw Danny staring back at her.  He looked her up and down, making a slight face upon seeing her tattered jeans and shifting the basket he held.

“What are you doing here?” he asked bluntly, gaze never leaving her even when Colleen looked away.  She tucked some hair behind her ear nervously.

“Just...getting groceries?”

“Is that a question?”

Colleen frowned, confused as to why he would engage her in the first place.  Clearly he was still unhappy with her for reasons she did not fully comprehend.  “I'm making dinner for me and my dad,” she said coolly, praying he would disengage and annoyed when he did not.

“That's, ah, good.  Good on you to leave the house and do something useful for once.”

Colleen felt her face grow hot and tears began to well in her eyes.  “You don't have to be such an asshole, you know,” she snapped, reaching past him to add the box of cocoa to her basket.  She felt his eyes on her and heard him sigh heavily.

“Look, Colleen,” he faltered, “I never meant to-”

“Ah, just who I was hoping to see!” A jovial voice rang out from the opposite end of the aisle, and they both glanced up to see Brian all but strutting towards them.  Danny’s eyes immediately narrowed, mouth twisting into a sneer as the younger man approached. Colleen felt herself tense, partly because of whatever was going on between the two of them but also due to her own apprehension where Brian was concerned.  The man had done nothing but put her on edge since their first encounter, and even then the look he gave her was nothing short of lecherous. She fumbled with the hem of the sweatshirt, praying shifting the baggy item would make her appear frumpy and less attractive.

It did not appear to work, however, and Brian’s grin only widened as he stopped in front of them.  He did not seem to even acknowledge Danny’s presence, focusing solely on Colleen. She forced an uncomfortable smile.

“And, um, who was that?” she asked, feigning ignorance and knowing full well he meant her.

“You, of course!” Brian replied, clearly giddy about something and confirming Colleen’s suspicions.  She heard Danny snort, but he did not leave, though Brian’s eyes momentarily darkened at the interruption before he went back to grinning.  “I have something I want to ask you. Well, ask of you. I suppose it’s really more of a request.”

“Leave her alone, Brian,” interjected Danny tersely, and Colleen looked over to find him nearly seething.  Brian’s face fell and he turned to face who he undoubtedly considered an unwelcome participant in their conversation.

“It isn’t any of your business, old man.  Why don’t you go home before your wife makes the mistake of checking your browser history?”

Danny clenched his jaw so hard Colleen thought his teeth might break.  He looked at Colleen, then Brian, then back at Colleen again and shook his head when she did not intervene.  “Some company you keep,” he muttered with disdain before turning on his heel and stalked off. Colleen nearly called after him to remind him that he forgot the cocoa, but Brian’s hand on her shoulder held her back.

“Let him go.  I still want to talk to you.”

Colleen bit her lip and looked up at him nervously, shying away slightly as he tucked some hair behind her ear.  He seemed amused by her reaction, continuing to test her boundaries by stepping closer so that only a few inches separated them.  It was too close, far closer than necessary for a grocery store conversation, but she did not want to be rude and gulped down her anxiety.

“Did you know that it’s my birthday this Thursday?” he asked, chuckling when she shook her head.  “Ah, well, now you do. I’m having a dinner at my place that evening, and I would love it if you would attend.”

Colleen blanched.  The thought of going to a party for Brian’s birthday, at which he would surely be insufferably smug, did not appeal to her in the slightest.  She opened her mouth to come up with an excuse but could not think of one, unsociable and jobless as she was. Her father had made a point to get along with everyone he could in town, so why couldn’t she?  It was just for one night, and if Kelly and Becky were there, which they surely would be, then he would definitely give them at least some of his attention. It might not be so bad.

“Um, yeah.  Okay, sure. I’ll be there.”

Brian’s face lit up like a child who received just what he wanted from Santa.  “Wonderful! You know where I live, yes? Just a block over from your place, with the blue door.  Can’t miss it. Dinner starts at seven, so arrive a little earlier to socialize.” He beamed down at her, blue eyes shining with glee.  “I just know you’ll have a wonderful time.”

Colleen could not think of how to respond to that, so she gave him a fake smile and nodded.  It seemed to be enough to satisfy Brian, who gave her a wink before turning away.

“I’ll see you on Thursday!” he called back with a wave, which Colleen weakly returned before putting her face in her palm when he was out of sight.

What the hell did she just agree to?

 

“How are things going, Mr. Bell?”

Liam peered at Samuel across his desk, his gaze boring into the clearly nervous man.  Samuel licked his lips, apprehensive, and smoothed some of the stray hairs that had fallen into his face.  He fidgeted with the buttons at his wrist, only finally responding to the inquiry when Liam raised his eyebrows at him.

“Um, good, I suppose.  Yes, I’d say good,” he replied quietly.

“Excellent.  Have you been using the journal?”

Samuel nodded, suddenly looking very guilty.  “You didn’t want to read it, did you? I didn’t think to bring it-”

Liam smiled warmly at him and shook his head.  “Mr. Bell, as far as I am concerned whatever you write in that journal is for your eyes and those of the select few, if any, you wish to share it with.  Perhaps the time will come when you let your daughter read when you have written, but until then you have my blessing on keeping it private.”

Samuel breathed a sigh of relief, nodding again.  “About...about Colleen…”

“Yes?”

“Well, ah, for starters, she- I think she’d like to have some sort of therapy session or something with you.  I mean, only if you have the time, of course, but she seems confused as to why she hasn’t been seen when we’re supposed to be here for her behavior.”

Liam frowned, looking thoughtful, then pulled out a calendar and began flipping through the pages.  He shook his head a few times, muttering to himself, then finally stopped on a week where Samuel could tell there were several open days.  “Unfortunately my schedule is quite busy as of late, but I’ll see what I can do to fit her in. You don’t need to worry about that.”

Samuel smiled, looking reassured.  “Thank you. Speaking of you being busy, I...I know it has been quite some time since I’ve been here, and, um…” He sighed, squirming as though his seat had suddenly become unbearably uncomfortable.  “A couple of weeks back, she was having a really bad day, and I...I gave her some of that supplement you gave me.”

Liam did not appear as shocked as Samuel would have thought, but nodded.  “Go on. How did you give it to her?”

“Mixed it in with some tea,” Samuel continued, feeling himself begin to sweat.  “But the thing is, she- I gave it to her when she took a bath, and I was worried about how she might react, I didn’t want her to pass out in the tub so I- I stayed with her.”

“While she was bathing?” Liam clarified; Samuel nodded and hung his head in shame.

“Yes.  And I was helping clean her makeup from when she had been crying, and it seemed like such a natural progression to wash the rest of her, too, and of course I’d had a bit to drink, and-”

“Mr. Bell,” Liam interjected, though his voice remained calm and supportive.  “Tell me what happened.”

“I touched her,” Samuel admitted, voice barely above a whisper.  It felt odd to say it aloud, outside the confines of his mind or the pages of his journal, and to confess it to another human being fully capable of passing down the harshest judgment.  Except Liam did not appear to be judging him at all, but rather looked at him with a hint of an amused smile on his face.

“And how did she react?”

“Well, she, um, she got off, so I guess she enjoyed it?”  He sighed, putting his hands in his face. “I thought she hated me after that, she barely spoke to me, but then all of a sudden she started talking to me again, cuddling with me on the couch, and it- things have been wonderful.  I-I’ve been happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

Liam did smile then, leaning back in his chair and getting a good look at the confused and exasperated man in front of him.  “But you regret it?”

Samuel opened and closed his mouth then shook his head.  “I- no! That’s the thing, I don’t, I mean I thought I would, but I really feel like it brought us even closer, it’s just really weird to think about because I’ve dreamed of it for so long, and all of this is happening so quickly ever since we came here, but-”

“Mr. Bell,” Liam interrupted again, almost to the point of grinning.  “Are you happy?” Samuel blinked, then slowly nodded. “And is Colleen happy?”  Samuel nodded again; to the best of his knowledge, she seemed just as happy as he was as of late.  “Then there is no need for this conversation,” he chuckled. “Go home, Mr. Bell, spend time with your daughter.  Enjoy it, cherish it. Don’t fret so much about the details.”

Samuel smiled back at him.  This was why he had come here; this was why he had chosen Happy Meadows.  Even when he continued to doubt himself, Liam somehow managed to make him see reason and find the good in his situation.  It had certainly brought him nearer to Colleen, and he looked forward to growing even closer to his beloved daughter.

Perhaps it was time to consider using more of that supplement.

 

“You look lovely.”

Samuel’s words, while kind and encouraging, did little to placate Colleen as she tugged on the fabric of the little black dress.  She felt like she should be going on a date wearing it, and quite possibly a date where sex was the end goal. Brian’s party was certainly the last place she wanted to be looking like she did; unfortunately for her, she had been given little notice of the occasion, and the local store did not have much that fit comfortably over her wide hips.  She frowned looking in the hallway mirror, wishing she had let up a bit on the eye makeup.

“I look like a slut,” she said, exasperated.  Samuel came up behind her, pressing into her back in a way that made her breath hitch as he fixed some of her stray hairs that had fallen out of place.  He placed his hands on her shoulders, smiling into the mirror before kissing the back of her head.

“You look lovely,” he repeated, and Colleen had to wonder if he really believed it.  He disengaged just as she was about to lean back into him, grabbing her winter jacket and holding it out so she could slip her arms inside.  “Come on, you don’t want to be late.”

With a groan Colleen slid into the coat, fumbling with the buttons in her frustration.  “I still don’t see why you couldn’t come with me.”

Samuel smiled at her as he watched her struggle, eventually pushing her hands away and finishing up the last two buttons.  “I wasn’t invited. Besides,” he said happily, his tone sounding more parental than usual, “I think it would be good for you to make some friends.”

Colleen rolled her eyes. “ _ Dad _ .”

He pulled her into an embrace and planted a firm kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering long enough so that the spot where they touched her skin tingled.  She stepped back to smile up at him, her sigh betraying her nerves. There was nothing she was looking forward to about tonight.

“Wish me luck!”

With that Colleen stepped out into the cold, shivering as the wind slammed against her bare legs.  She stumbled a bit in her heels on the porch stairs, but managed to right herself and began making her way to Brian’s house.  Fortunately it was not terribly far, for which she was thankful as she feared developing frostbite if she stayed out much longer.  She managed to locate the only house with a blue door easily enough, closing her eyes briefly and taking a deep breath to ease her apprehension before gingerly placing a finger on the doorbell.

The door was opened quickly by an impeccably dressed Brian, sporting tan slacks and a dark blue button-down shirt.  He grinned widely when he saw her, stepping aside and extending an arm as an invitation.

“Colleen!  I’m so glad you’re here.  Please, do come inside, you must be freezing!”

Colleen hurried into the warmth of Brian’s modest but well-decorated home.  He was a man who liked everything neat and in its place, that much was apparent, and the furnishings were minimalist but still exhibited class and perfectionism.  She barely finished unbuttoning her jacket when it was hoisted off of her shoulders and she heard Brian’s footsteps retreating to the coat rack near the door.

“Admiring the artwork, I see.  That particular piece is called...oh hell, I can’t remember.  It has something to do with inner turmoil or something, but I didn’t pay much attention to the details.  Looks cool though, doesn’t it?”

Colleen’s eyes focused on the statue in the foyer, and though she could not quite understand it herself she certainly did not like Brian’s blatant disregard for a piece that an artist clearly put a lot of time, effort, and themselves into.  The way the metal pieces intertwined and knotted did scream inner turmoil in her mind, a feeling she was becoming all too familiar with.

“You look amazing,” she heard him murmur over her shoulder, gasping when she realized just how close behind her he stood.  He smirked as though this was perfectly normal and took her hand, leading her down an adjacent hallway. “Dinner is just about ready, but feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

He released her in a formal dining room before making his way into what she presumed was the kitchen given the delectable aromas wafting from within.  Whatever it was, it smelled divine, and as her stomach growled she was glad she had not eaten since breakfast. She turned her attention to the dining room table, the pale yellow tablecloth adorned with two places set with beautiful blue-accented china.

Two places.  Colleen felt her breath catch in her throat, and suddenly the panic rose from within and threatened to bubble up and overflow.

_ Fuck. _

Colleen began counting from one to ten in her mind, desperately trying to avoid hyperventilating as Brian returned with two glasses of wine.  He offered one to her, looking concerned when she did not move to take it.

“I, uh, don’t really drink, but thank you” she said, the most polite refusal she could muster.  Brian did not seem deterred and held the glass out again.

“Just try it.  I promise you’ll like it.”

Colleen bit her lip.  “I’m only twenty.”

He shrugged, practically shoving the glass into her hand.  “Drink it.”

Things were already starting out far more poorly than she would have imagined.  First, the absence of any other guests, followed by the lonely two places set at the table.  Now he was forcing her to consume alcohol, something that she had no desire to do nor should he even be suggesting she do so.  A nagging voice in the back of Colleen’s mind wondered if he had drugged it, but she had to appear polite. Just a sip, she told herself, just a sip won’t hurt.

She took the glass and forced a smile at his sincere one.  “Cheers,” she said meekly; he chuckled and clinked glasses before downing his in a few gulps.  Colleen took a sip, trying to hide when she wrinkled her nose in disgust, before setting the glass down at the table.  “So, um...I thought...I thought this was a party.”

Brian blinked, setting his glass next to hers and licking his lips.  “What makes you think it isn’t?”

“Well, usually parties have more than two people.”

He threw back his head and laughed, giving her a pointed look.  “Ah, you got me. Nope, I wanted it to be just the two of us. Now, sit down, and I’ll serve us.”

As Brian retreated back into the kitchen, Colleen awkwardly took a seat and spread her napkin in her lap, fighting back urges to run away or cry or both.  This was absolutely horrible and the night had barely begun.

Fortunately for her, a large portion of the evening was actually rather dull.  Brian regaled her with stories about wins for various athletic teams he had participated in and asked for her opinion on current music and movies.  She learned he used to be an English teacher, and realized far too late it was a mistake to introduce him to her own interest in creative writing. He seemed only more entranced by her, staring at her nearly every second of the conversation even though he was the one primarily doing the speaking.

It took until dinner was nearly over for there to be a lull in the conversation, and Colleen had enough to drink to relax her to the point where she dared to ask the one question that had been weighing on her mind ever since she arrived that evening; furthermore, she had often wondered about it ever since arriving in town.  She cleared her throat delicately, praying she was not entering dangerous territory.

“So, um, Brian, I was just...I was wondering...a, uh, young, attractive,” Brian smirked, making her even more uncomfortable, “guy like yourself- how come you aren’t married?”

Brian’s face fell slightly, and Colleen immediately regretted asking.  She opened her mouth to take it back, but he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I was, once.  She, um...she was the love of my life.  My world.” Colleen noticed his hand clench on the steak knife next to his plate.  “But I wasn’t good enough for her. She cheated on me.” He gripped the knife tighter.  “One minute we were happy, and the next…”

“I’m…I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know, I shouldn’t have brought it up-”

Brian shook his head.  “Don’t worry about it. I’ve learned over the years not to give any thought to that stupid fucking  _ whore _ !”

In one swift motion the hand holding the knife left the table, taking the knife with it and jabbing the blade into the remainder of the steak on his plate where it sent the juices flying and staining small spots on the pale tablecloth.  Colleen jumped, eyes wide, and instinctively scooted her chair away from the table and away from him.  _ Holy fuck this guy’s insane! _

Brian took a deep breath, then smiled at her as though nothing had happened.  “Sometimes it’s better not to ask questions,” he said with an insincere sweetness that made Colleen want to bolt from the room.  She simply nodded, which seemed to please him. “Good. Now, help me clean up?”

Colleen’s eyes lingered on the knife poking out of the discarded filet, heart hammering in her chest.  How could she say no?

Shakily she got on her feet, the heels she wore threatening to buckle beneath her as she carried her plate to the kitchen and set it in the sink.  Before she could move away Brian was behind her, and as he set down his dishes he pressed in close.

“You look lovely,” he whispered in her ear, but it did not have the same gentle kindness to it that her father’s exact same statement had earlier that evening.  She opened her mouth, in thanks or in protest she was not sure which, when he placed his hands on her forearms and began to run his fingers up to her shoulders where he gripped them tightly.  She tried to pull away but he held her fast, pinning her between his toned body and the sink.

“Brian,” she whispered shakily, gasping as she felt his erection press against her backside.  “I-I think I should go.”

“So soon?  We haven’t even had cake yet.”

Colleen glanced over to see the small cake on the counter, candles with the number 37 perched on top.  She closed her eyes again and shuddered as she felt his tongue scrape over her cheek. “T-then let’s have cake.”

“Mm, I can think of something sweeter,” he purred, spinning her to face him but keeping her trapped.  She felt very small against him, very weak, and very unsafe in that moment. It did not seem like he was interested in taking no for an answer.

Before she could even formulate that rejection, Brian leaned down and forced his tongue into her mouth, grabbing the back of her head and gripping her hair roughly.  She whimpered at the assault, squirming and desperate for any way to get out of her current situation. She wobbled on her heels, struggling to maintain her balance, and then it hit her.

Allowing Brian to be preoccupied with the kiss, she felt around with her foot for his shoe, and, with every ounce of strength she could muster, slammed her heel down onto it.  He gasped and pulled back with a shout and a curse, looking down at the dent she had made and wincing. Colleen seized the opportunity of his distraction to duck away and run for the front door, nearly tripping when she paused to grab her coat.  She could hear his footsteps thundering behind her, her name angrily escaping his lips, but she ran out into the cold without a second thought.

It had begun to snow, an inch or so covering the ground, but Colleen did not care.  She kicked off her shoes, wrapped her coat around her body, and sprinted back to the comfort of her house.

She barely responded to Samuel’s inquiry as to how it went, yelling a brief acknowledgement before shutting herself in her room and crying herself to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Colleen was naturally hesitant to divulge details of her apparent date night with Brian to anyone, even her father; no, especially her father.  Given the current rather interesting state of their relationship and the amount of affection he routinely bestowed upon her, she legitimately worried that letting him know of Brian’s attempted molestation might end with him physically attacking the younger man.  Jail or no jail in the town, they surely would not take kindly to an assault on their second-in-command. No, it was better to keep this to herself.

That fact became all the more difficult as the days passed, as Samuel seemed to indicate more and more that he put his utmost trust in her.  She hated lying to him about this as she did, knowing he was far too introverted to ask anyone for details to corroborate her story, but she felt as though she had no choice.  She hated to admit that she had grown decent at lying to him over the years, but would one more white lie really hurt? It was all part of her behavioral issues, she supposed, the ones that had brought them all the way here.  That fact made her feel all the more guilty.

As she sat fidgeting in the chair in Liam’s office for her first counseling session, she felt even worse.  Could she lie to Liam? She doubted it; he seemed to have this knack for seeing right through her, if their last private interaction was any indication.  It was a waste of time to even try, and she knew she was going to have to be honest with the man. She just did not want to.

He stared at her now, drumming his fingers on his chin as he surveyed her perched on the edge of her seat and playing with the hem of Samuel’s old sweatshirt.  Colleen knew he had cleared time in his busy schedule to meet with her, yet part of her wished he had not. She squirmed under his intense gaze, opting to look off to the side instead at the stacks of unorganized books and papers.

“What is it you wish to speak about, Miss Bell?” he inquired in a matter-of-fact tone that made her wonder if he cared to see her at all.  She broke away from reading the textbook titles and allowed her eyes to become locked with his despite the immense discomfort she felt coursing through her veins.

“I-I thought you’d have something in mind.  I mean, we moved here because I’ve got  _ problems _ , and I’m sure my dad had to tell you all about them for you to accept us.”

“I see.  Do you think you have problems, Miss Bell?” he asked, and while his voice was kind she still felt him judging her beneath that thin veil of professionalism.  She sighed, nodding slightly.

“I guess...yeah, I guess I do.  I mean it’s nothing specific, I just- I fucked up a lot, a-and I barely graduated high school, I never went to college or got a job, and-”

“I am aware of your life story,” Liam said dismissively.  “What I want to know is if you wish you think there is something inherently wrong with your actions.”

Colleen frowned; she never really thought of it that way.  All of her impulses and acting out were entirely dependent on the situation at present, and she’d never much considered there might be something deeper going on.  Something beyond the loss of her mother. Something wrong with  _ her _ .  She met Liam’s stare defiantly.

“Are you a psychiatrist?” she blurted, immediately wishing she could take back the outburst upon seeing Liam’s face fall ever so slightly.  He corrected himself into an insincere smile almost instantly, a talent he seemed to have a knack for.

“I beg your pardon?”

Colleen knew she could possibly be treading in dangerous waters but pressed on.  “I mean, you’re like- you help people, right? But I don’t see any degrees on the walls, I’ve never heard anyone talk about your qualifi...cations…” She faltered upon noticing the muscles in Liam’s face twitch, choosing to break eye contact and stare down at her hands.

“Miss Bell, look at me,” he corrected her; she obeyed his stern voice immediately.  “Do I seem like the type of man who would flash fancy degrees and doctorates on my walls?”  Colleen shook her head. “I will have you know that no one, not even your father, has ever questioned my qualifications.  My personal and professional background are none of your concern so long as you feel you are getting the support and assistance you need, and I can assure you everyone in town will attest that they have received adequate time and attention in overcoming their obstacles.”

“Even Brian?” she asked innocently, though the reasoning behind her question was far from innocuous.  They seemed to have some sort of what she would almost call a rivalry, and indeed as she mentioned his subordinate’s name Liam’s mouth twitched again.

“What of him?” he sighed.

“I just...I was just wondering why he, um, why he’s here.  We had dinner recently, for his birthday, and he mentioned he had a wife who cheated on him but that doesn’t seem like something  _ he _ would need to get help for, and I thought pretty much everyone came here looking for assistance, and-”

“What happened between Brian and Patricia is their business,” he interrupted tersely.  “And while you may not believe I am competent enough to hold this position, I assure you I abide by the strictest rules of client confidentiality.  Do you understand what that means?”

Colleen wriggled uncomfortably in her seat, trying in vain to keep his cold remarks from bothering her and making a mental note to do an internet search for  _ Brian and Patricia Palmer _ when she next got a chance.  She nodded, then frowned thoughtfully.  “So you can’t tell my dad anything I say?”

Liam nodded, finally sitting back and relaxing a bit.  “You’re an adult, Miss Bell. I can’t tell anyone.”

A million thoughts raced through her mind.  When she brought up the stress of their intimate encounter before, Liam had told her to go home to her father and spend time with him; Samuel’s indiscretion did not seem to bother him in the slightest, and he all but openly encouraged it.  The question became then whether or not she should divulge her recurring sex dreams. She wanted so badly to make sense of them, and he seemed the least likely to judge her for apparently wanting to cozy up to her father in more ways than one even as he judged her for everything else.

No, she realized, she was getting ahead of herself.  Liam technically might not be able to tell anyone, but she knew he shared details of his clients with Brian as part of how they ran the town; she could not bear the thought of Brian learning of her fantasies, just as she could not handle Samuel learning of Brian’s designs on her.  Once again, it was better if she kept this to herself.

Liam narrowed his eyes at her from across the desk.  “Is there something you would like to share with me, Miss Bell?” he asked flatly.

Colleen quickly shook her head, so quickly she knew she looked like she was lying but she did not care.  There was no way she could tell him anything personal now. He sighed and sat back again.

“I cannot help you if you are not open with me.  I need to know what is on your mind.”

“I just...I just want my dad to be proud of me,” she croaked out; it was certainly not a lie.  It had in fact been her reason for bearing through most of her life, her desire for his approval.  She supposed it should not really surprise her, looking back, that she began to dream of him as she had, and she had to quickly hide the chuckle that arose from her by pretending to cough.  Liam raised an eyebrow, then graced her with perhaps the most genuine smile he had ever dared offer.

“I cannot speak to that, as that is something you must ask him directly.  But I do believe you must know he has concerns about you, and the way you behave, and they are not unsubstantiated in the slightest.”

The remark caused tears to well up; it seemed as though they appeared almost instantly at the thought of her father having  _ concerns _ .  It was not really news per se, but the concept of Samuel thinking ill of her cast a dark shadow over a session she already believed to be progressing poorly.  She suddenly felt sick to her stomach in that small room, where Liam had done nothing but judge her every move since she arrived. If she was supposed to be receiving therapy, she certainly did not understand it.  She did not need another reminder of how she had screwed up, of how fucked up her father must believe her. She hated this place; she hated Happy Meadows and everything it stood for. She wanted to go home, hundreds of miles away where she could be happy with Samuel.  They would have maintained that happiness, too, if only she had not driven them away.

When Liam informed her curtly that their session was over and to come back next month, she began to wonder if she could even be fixed.

 

“How did it go?” Samuel inquired from his seat at the kitchen table, pausing to look up at Colleen as she shoved forkfuls of chicken and mashed potatoes into her frowning mouth.  He had politely refrained from asking about her earlier appointment with Liam for several hours, but when they sat down for dinner only to have a wave of silence wash over them he reached with some desperation for a way to break through it.  Clearly the meeting was bothering her; she had left the house her usual confident self, albeit nervous, and returned a shell. What on earth had Liam said to her?

“S’fine,” she mumbled, waving away his question with her fork.  “I don’t need to tell you, anyway. Therapist-patient confidentiality and all that.”

Samuel winced.  She was, of course, correct, and it was indeed true that he had told Liam many things he would not feel remotely comfortable divulging to his daughter; however, he had hoped to gain some insight as to how Liam was treating her behavioral issues when they were not entirely the reason for them being there.  “I’m sorry,” he muttered finally, sighing and setting down his utensils. “Colleen, I didn’t mean- I’m not trying to pry, I-”

“Yes, you are,” she shot back; Samuel felt his own jaw drop at the harsh tone of her voice.  He gulped slightly as she sat back in her chair, dropping her fork onto her plate with a loud  _ clink _ as tears began to form in her downcast eyes.  She did not appear interested in continuing the conversation.

Samuel fumbled with his napkin, setting it on his finished plate before standing and picking up his dishes.  “I’ll, ah, I’ll just clean up then.”

No sooner had he turned to walk over to the sink than he heard Colleen shift in her chair, hurriedly picking up the remnants of her half-eaten dinner and following him with a brief pause to deposit the leftovers in the garbage.  She brushed up against his arm as she put her dishes on top of his, and as he pulled away she grabbed his shirt sleeve and held him back.

“Colleen…” he began, unsure of what to say to her that would be appropriate in that moment.  She shook her head, turning him to face her and wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Dad, I-” she choked out, then buried her face in his chest.  Thankful he could not feel the wet splotches of her tears through the thick flannel of his shirt, Samuel shushed her and stroked her hair, confused but also enjoying the sudden display of affection and need for comfort.

Colleen’s fingers tightened around him, gripping his shirt as she pressed her cheek into the fabric.  Samuel paused to kiss her forehead, pleased upon hearing the content sigh she let out as he did so. They stood there for several minutes, time seemingly undisturbed in those fragile but meaningful moments.  Samuel closed his eyes and took in every part of her; he felt her silky hair beneath his fingers; he heard her ragged breathing begin to relax; he smelled the pomegranate body wash she was so excited to find at the supermarket; he noticed her grip on him begin to loosen as he soothed her, yet she still nuzzled his chest.  Moments like these, he mused, made all of the other difficult ones worth enduring. The adoration he felt for her then surged, and despite the fact that he knew they could not stand there all evening there was a part of him that truly wished they could.

“Shall I make us some tea?” he asked quietly, and Colleen looked up at him with a small smile and a nod.  He kissed her forehead again, lingering far longer than necessary, before removing himself from her embrace and reaching into the cupboard to grab two mugs.

“I’m gonna go use the bathroom,” Colleen mumbled, trudging off down the hallway but with her head held slightly higher than before.  Samuel smiled as he watched her walk off as he turned on the instant coffee maker for what she always referred to as the “cheating” way to get hot water.  He did not particularly care; time was of the essence.

With a deep breath he rummaged in one of the drawers for the small bag Liam had given him.  It had worked so well the last time, and he had taken a recent interest in trying it again. He was not expecting things to go beyond where they had in the bathtub, but memories of that fateful night frequently entered his mind and if he could experience that intimacy with her just one more time...the fact that it would help improve her mood was simply an added bonus.

He felt somewhat guilty for using what he knew deep down was probably an illegal drug in order to coax out her sexual self, and he had many a conversation with himself about exactly that before he became convinced that it was something she had actually wanted but would be too shy to say otherwise; after all, she had orgasmed, and surely that meant something.  He told himself that over and over, reminding himself of her fluttering eyelids and arched back, until the idea that what he was doing was perfectly acceptable was firmly rooted in his mind.

Acting quickly before Colleen could return, he dumped a bit of the powder into her tea, perhaps a bit more than intended, and stirred it in thoroughly before stowing the baggie back in its hiding place.  He had just closed the drawer when she rounded the corner, looking relieved when she saw the steaming mug waiting for her. She walked over and picked it up, pausing to kiss his cheek before sipping it with a smile.

“It’s good,” she said quietly, blowing the top a bit to cool it off.  Samuel did the same, grateful she could not taste the extra addition swirling within.  “I...I’m sorry. Thank you.”

“Anything for you, dear,” he whispered, pausing to clink mugs with her before taking a long swig.  She giggled, and it warmed his heart to see a hint of the happiness he knew existed within his daughter.

After tea had been consumed, Colleen insisted she wanted to go straight to bed, something which concerned Samuel a bit given that he had in fact just drugged her.  He tried casually to convince her to stay up and watch a movie with him, but she repeatedly rejected him with claims of being tired and it having been a long and emotionally draining day.  He could not argue with that, so he reluctantly let her go.

An hour or so passed during which Samuel fretted about the house, tidying up areas that were already neat, cleaning and reorganizing the same area of the counter three times, and trying but failing to take a nap on the couch.  All thoughts led back to Colleen, and he could not help but wonder how she was doing and if she slept comfortably. After yet another failed attempt to relax, he realize he could not take it anymore; he had to check on her.

He tried to open the door to her room as quietly as he could, letting himself inside hurriedly to avoid shining the beam of light from the hall onto her sleeping form.  He stepped over to her gingerly, pausing at every minor creak of the floor, but she did not budge. She slept like an angel, the comforter lightly draped over half of her body and doing little to disguise the short nightgown she wore.  He knew she preferred to be cold when she slept, but seeing her erect nipples poke through the sheer fabric sent a shiver down his spine he was unable to control.

Without giving it much thought, he found himself seated next to her on the bed, brushing some hair from her face and smiling down at her peaceful expression.  One of the straps to the nightgown had fallen off her shoulder; he pulled it back up, breath catching when his fingers stroked her soft skin. He was reminded again of the bathtub, and of the very reason he had asked her about tea that evening.  Perhaps if she stayed awake they would be intimate at this very moment, but with her desire for sleep he had no way of knowing. But perhaps-

No, he couldn’t.  Not while she was asleep.  It seemed wrong somehow, as though he were taking advantage.  He didn’t want that; he never wanted that. All he wanted was for her to enjoy him as much as he enjoyed her.  His mind wandered back to the bathtub. She did enjoy it before, though, so was it really so wrong to do the same thing again?

Samuel stared down at Colleen, her heaving chest straining against the tight fabric of the nightgown with every breath.  His hand was still at her shoulder; he moved it down gently to cup her breast through the flimsy material, groaning slightly at the soft gasp she made when his thumb grazed over her nipple.  He could not just walk away now, with her lying there as she was. He pinched the taut nipple slightly, saliva beginning to pool in his mouth when she whimpered.

_ Fuck it _ .

Gulping down the excess saliva his hand began to travel down the front of her nightgown, fingers dancing over her stomach until they reached lower, beneath the hem.  He cupped her cunt with his hand, delighting at how warm she was between her slightly parted thighs, and slowly began to rub at her entrance through the thin fabric of her silky panties.  His thumb caught her clit and he pressed into it, circling that sensitive nub. Colleen, still fast asleep, let out another whimper and her hips moved instinctively to grind against his touch.  He could see the slight bit of drool at the corner of her mouth and somehow resisted the urge to press his lips to hers.

Growing bolder as he felt his erection strain against his khakis, Samuel cast aside the blankets atop Colleen’s slumbering figure so he could look at her.  He licked his lips, his mouth somehow impossibly dry and wet again, and reached back down between her legs. They seemed to open even more for him as he pulled aside her panties and slipped a finger into her opening.  He felt his cock twitch at how excited she had become in such a short time; he had barely been able to feel her surrounded by the water in the tub, but this was exquisite. He ached to feel himself inside of her, and he knew above all else that masturbating after this was going to lead to an intense orgasm.

He looked down at her face again, her full lips slightly parted as she breathed.  It had been quite some time since she had kissed him on the lips, and it was a gesture that he missed dearly for a myriad of reasons.  That night, though, he had only one reason on his mind, and he was not going to be denied.

Shifting on the bed, Samuel climbed half atop his sleeping daughter, one knee between her splayed legs where his fingers curled around her dripping cunt.  Her hips bucked as he continued to touch her, her writhing body only intensifying his desires to have more of her. Casting all self-control aside, he leaned down and captured her lips in his.

They were soft and moist, just as he knew they would be, and they parted easily for him to slide his tongue inside just enough to taste her.  His conscience kept screaming from somewhere deep down in his mind at him to stop, to let her sleep, but he did not care. She tasted so  _ good _ and he wanted nothing more.

He was not prepared, however, to lean back and find her eyes open, wide and staring up at him.

Samuel felt his entire body tense as she looked up at him; what was he to say?  What could he say that would not completely betray her trust? He was so shocked he did not even think to remove his fingers from inside of her, trying desperately to think of something to justify his actions.  When nothing would come, he settled for beginning to move off of her, but she continued to stun him by grabbing his face and pulling him back in to continue the kiss.

He made a small gasp of surprise but it quickly turned into a moan as she slid her tongue against his.  Her hips began to grind against his hand again, and he was all too willing to continue pumping his fingers inside of her.  The little whimpers she made into his open mouth were just as delicious as the kiss itself, and soon he was harder than he had been even moments prior.

He could not take much more of this, he realized, climbing on top of her small frame.  He removed the fingers he had been using to fuck her, placing them to her lips where she eagerly licked and sucked off her juices; he pushed his tongue past her lips again, pleased at the chance to taste her sweetness for himself.  As he did so he hooked his fingers around the waistband of her panties, and when he broke away from the kiss it was only to pull them off and throw them to the floor. He knelt between her legs, nudging them wider apart as he began to undo the buckle on his belt.

Colleen gazed up at him, her cheeks flushed and her breaths coming as quick shallow gasps.  She did not say a word or move a muscle even as Samuel unfastened his zipper and removed his cock from the confines of his khakis, yet as he moved to position himself at her entrance she furrowed her brow and her body suddenly tensed.

“D-Dad?” she stuttered as the tip of his cock began to push inside of her; Samuel grunted but could barely hear her, caught up in the carnal act before him.  She sat up halfway but he pushed her back down, burying his face in her neck with a groan. “N-no, wait, please-” she pleaded, but he grabbed her hips and thrust forward with a low gutteral noise until he was buried completely inside her.

He could not understand the hesitation.  She had been so willing to let him touch her, and they had been so affectionate towards one another recently; was this not the next natural step?  Besides, she was on birth control, so it wasn’t like she had to worry about getting pregnant. Isn’t this what she wanted?

As Samuel began to question himself, he realized Colleen had closed her eyes.  At first he worried she fell back asleep or passed out, but soon he felt her back arch and her hips grind against his.  He smiled as she slid across the sheets, fucking herself on his cock as their sweaty bodies pressed together. He stroked the side of her face, damp hair sticking to her skin, her breath on fire against him as she moaned.

It wasn’t enough.  He grabbed her hips again, appreciative of her fervor but needing more friction.  He pulled out almost all the way and slammed in to the hilt with each plunge; she gasped and he pulled back to find her eyes open and looking up at him.  He kissed her forehead affectionately, continuing his thrusts until he felt her start to tighten around him; hissing, he increased the tempo and enjoyed the way her moist hot cunt reacted in squeezing his cock.  She looked as though she wanted to say something but words simply would not come, and she gripped his shirt and shoulder tightly as her body suddenly jerked and she wailed through her orgasm. The combination of feeling her spasm and watching her pleasured expression was exactly what Samuel needed, and soon he spilled himself inside of her with a growling roar.

_ This is mine _ .

He looked down at his child, his love, and the way a bewildered look had spread across her features.  He was in disbelief himself; once more, the drug had paved the way for things to happen he did not think possible.  This was certainly not how he predicted the evening would have turned out, and yet he could not fathom a more desirable outcome.  He smiled down at Colleen and with a sigh nestled himself atop her, content to listen to her heartbeat as it slowly evened out and she fell back asleep.

_ Mine _ .


	12. Chapter 12

Colleen's eyelids fluttered open as the light pouring into her bedroom struck the window at just the right angle to be highly irritating.  She yawned as her mind began to churn, pushing her hair out of her face while struggling to maintain consciousness. The warmth of her comforter on this particularly cold morning threatened to keep her snuggled in bed, yet the rumbling of her stomach had other ideas.  With a sigh she rubbed her eyes and groaned, praying her father had already started on breakfast.

The thought of Samuel struck a nerve somewhere deep within Colleen's barely alert form, and she frowned as she tried to place that nagging feeling that had erupted from seemingly out of nowhere.  Shrugging it off, she slipped out of bed and grabbed her robe and slippers before making her way down the stairs.

She smiled as she smelled the scent of French toast wafting from the kitchen; her stomach gave a growl of approval at Samuel's choice of breakfast food.  He stood at the stove with his back to her, one hand flipping the bread while the other was stuffed into the pocket of a navy hooded jacket that almost entirely clashed with his pale green and yellow plaid pajama bottoms.  Colleen winced at his color choices, quickly turning the corners of her mouth back to a smile as he turned to face her upon her approach.

“Good morning,” he said cheerily, turning back to scoop up the finished piece of toast before dropping the next slice of egg-soaked bread onto the griddle.  He faced her again, leaning back against the counter with spatula in hand. “How did you sleep?”

“Mm good, I think, but I'm not sure why I still feel so tired-”

A sudden image of the darkness of her bedroom came to mind, her vision of the walls and ceiling obscured by her father’s face leaning in for an impassioned kiss.  Warmth began to pool low in her belly as she stood in the kitchen and imagery began flooding back; she choked out a gasp as she realized these were not recollections of dreams, but memories of actual tangible events that had transpired.  Her eyes glanced upward where they met and locked with those of her father, who regarded her with a calm yet knowing expression.

“Dad…” Colleen whispered, watching as Samuel turned away from her to finish cooking.

“Yes, dear?”

She couldn't understand how he could be so nonchalant, not if even half of what raced through her mind had actually taken place.  She wanted so badly to just flat out ask him if these hazy memories were real, but how could she? The bathtub intimacy had been one thing but they never really did speak of it, and this was so much more than that.  Yet she felt like she had to know for certain.

How could she possibly phrase the inquiry?   _ Hey Dad, was I a good fuck?  _ seemed out of the question, as did everything else that came to mind.  After many long moments during which Samuel shut off the stove and carried the plate of toast over to the table, Colleen decided the direct approach would be best.

“Last night, did we, um...did we have…”

Her father set down the plate, placing his hands on the back of a chair and peering over at her as she fumbled her words.

“...sex?” she whispered, as though uttering the word would somehow make it a truth.

Samuel looked at her long and hard, pursing his lips as his fingers tightened around the wood of the chair.  She suddenly felt silly for asking as his silence filled the room; surely she was mistaken. Surely it had been but a dream.

“I'm- I'm sorry,” she said, laughing it off nervously, “that was a stupid question, I mean of course we didn't-”

“Yes,” he answered finally, appearing unsurprised as Colleen's jaw hit the floor, “and I enjoyed it very much.”  He walked back towards the cabinets and began pulling out utensils, seemingly uninterested in continuing that line of conversation.  “Do you want powdered sugar?”

_ Do I want- I don't give a flying fuck about powdered sugar! _ she thought, nodding nevertheless. Gritting her teeth, she regarded Samuel's casual motions as he retrieved the sugar with confusion and anger; he admitted they slept together, something she had to believe topped both of their lists of sins, yet he acted as though this was a perfectly regular day.  He dropped the sugar, syrup, and utensils on the table before sitting across from where she stood, but she could not find the will to move until he gave the chair in front of her a pointed look.

“Is something wrong?” he asked as she slid into her seat.  Colleen gaped at him, thoughts racing but unsure of how to reply.  He began to douse a piece of toast in syrup, cutting off a small bit before pausing with his fork mid air.  “Close your mouth, Colleen. You look like a fish.”

Her jaw clenched shut; of course he would pick now to sound like her father.  She watched as he began to eat as if everything were normal and began to wonder if perhaps it was.  She had admitted to herself recently that she had desires to know what it would be like to engage in such a taboo act, so shouldn't she be glad it had happened?  And what Samuel had said- that he enjoyed it, very much in fact, made her cheeks flush as she jammed her fork into a piece of bread and set it on her plate.

“S-sorry,” she mumbled.  “I just, um...did you...did you really enjoy it that much?”

Inwardly she chided herself; of all the possible questions she could ask, that was the one she selected?  Not why he did it, or how long he had wanted to, or what this meant for their relationship, but essentially whether or not she was a good fuck.  She felt stupid for even opening her mouth, but Samuel's softening expression put her at ease.

“You were wonderful,” he said gently, setting down his knife and fork.  “I've never felt so close to you- so close to anyone. I'm...I'm glad I got to share that part of you.”

It left so many questions unanswered, yet it was exactly what Colleen wanted to hear.  She felt her face grow hot and the warmth surge through her core as she remembered just how good he felt on top of and inside her, squirming slightly in her seat.  She smiled at him from across the table.

“Me, um, me too, Dad.”

Her pointed use of a term that so purely defined their relationship made Samuel's face fall, albeit slightly, despite her affirmation.  He twirled the fork in his fingers, gobs of syrup dripping onto his plate as he fidgeted.

“You don't regret it?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.  Colleen shook her head without fully processing the statement, knowing it was the answer he wanted; indeed, he perked back up and resumed eating with a smile.  She finally started on her own plate, enjoying the delicious distraction the food provided.

They ate the remainder of their breakfast in silence as Colleen fought with conflicting feelings, both afraid and excited for where this new development might lead.

 

Elated was an understatement.

The morning after what Samuel dared call the most extraordinary event in his life was full of a vigor he had not experienced since his youth.  He barely slept after returning to his own bed, tossing and turning those hours away with a giddy smile plastered to his face. When he found sleep to no longer be possible, he went downstairs and made himself a cup of coffee that he did not need but enjoyed nevertheless; he made it halfway through a second mug before deciding to start on breakfast.

Seeing Colleen enter the kitchen, hair tousled and eyes bleary, filled him with a warmth that surpassed even the heat radiating from the stove.  He tried to tone down his expression and actions, fearful of looking too eager, but he could not hide the sudden apprehension he felt as she questioned their encounter.  He began to wonder if she had not enjoyed it as much as she appeared to, or worse, if she regretted participating. She did not know about the drug that helped facilitate, of course, but that did not matter.  He could not bear to think that she felt it was a mistake.

Asking her such was risky, but her quick admission set him at ease.  He was able to spend the rest of that morning, and indeed much of the next week, relaxing around her.  She seemed mildly hesitant for the first few days when situations arose wherein they could cuddle or otherwise display affection, but he tried to be gentle and patient with her and soon her understandable apprehension subsided.  He could not fault her for being cautious given what she must be feeling, but he was glad when things returned to normal.

After a couple of days, however, his own anxiety began to increase at the realization that his birthday was quickly approaching; moreover, it was a milestone birthday, and one he had dreaded ever since entering into his forties.  The thought of turning the big five-oh made his jaw clench and his stomach turn; it seemed no more than a ghastly reminder that he wasn't getting any younger. To make matters worse, it brought his age into stark contrast against Colleen's, and given the recent progression of their relationship he wanted to have as much time with her as possible.  He hated feeling so mortal.

Colleen insisted they do something to celebrate and would not relent even as Samuel continuously rejected her.  After several days of back and forth he finally agreed to let her make him a dinner at home for just the two of them, leaving the menu and shopping up to her.  She had shooed him out of the kitchen when she returned from the store, trying to keep the ingredients hidden in bags, but he was able to piece together the potatoes, carrots, and large hunk of meat together into a meal.  Pot roast was one of his favorite dishes, and fortunately the slow cooker entree meant it would be difficult for Colleen's lack of cooking skills to ruin the experience.

He did not have to wait long, as she procrastinated as she did with many things and did the shopping the evening before his birthday.  He went to bed that night with mixed feelings; Colleen seemed to think it was no big deal and was just another year older, and her opinion mattered the most so why let it get to him?  At the same time, his own mortality was being shoved in his face and that was something he felt he just could not handle. It would be an interesting day.

In truth, it really was not that remarkable.  Samuel had made his way downstairs for breakfast, grateful Colleen did not go through the trouble of decorating when most items for this particular birthday would label him  _ over the hill _ .  They had a normal breakfast of fruit, eggs, bacon, and muffins Colleen insisted she had to buy because they were marked down and she couldn’t let them go to waste.  She pushed him away when he tried to clean up and do dishes, suggesting he relax and let her take care of them. He was thankful for her efforts, but the reality was that he wanted to spend the entire day with her and could not figure out how to broach the subject.  On a normal day they had one or two major interactions other than meals, but he was feeling particularly greedy and wanted more.

Much to his delight, Colleen seemed to notice this fact without him saying a word.  While she did the dishes and prepared the crockpot Samuel found himself unsure of what to do; ultimately he holed himself up in his office feeling like an idiot for desiring more of her time just because he was getting older, so much so that the sudden knock on the door took him by surprise.  When Colleen poked her head in, apologizing for interrupting but wondering if he wanted to play some board games, he could barely contain his excitement and had to tone down the nod he gave.

He managed to best her in Scrabble, Sorry!, and Checkers before declaring it to be lunchtime during a spectacular loss at Monopoly.  Colleen was unamused when he ‘accidentally’ moved some of the pieces and could not remember where they went, making it so they would be unable to continue their game after eating; she got over it when she remembered there was laundry to be done, though it was far from the first time she still wore pajamas at noon on a weekday.  Reluctantly, Samuel allowed her to leave his sight until dinner.

 

Colleen was not a fan of doing laundry, or any chores for that matter, but folding clothes was the worst.  She did not even bother to fold her underwear or group matching socks together, something that she knew would drive her father mad if he knew.  Fortunately, she had been doing her own laundry for years and could afford to be a little sloppy.

She found that she could not stop grinning, partly out of happiness and partly out of apprehension; she wanted more than anything for Samuel’s birthday to be an enjoyable one, and knowing how much turning fifty troubled him she was determined to make it memorable in a good way.  She tried to spend time with him, to do things they enjoyed doing together, even going so far as to let him win at many of the games she suggested they play. It brought a youthful energy to his eyes that she rather liked, and she smiled as she thought of him while she continued the chore at hand.

She was a bit nervous, yes, about the thought of what might happen after dinner.  She did not know if he intended to sleep with her; as much as the idea confused her emotionally, its physical effect was quite clear, and when she brought the basket of his shirts up to his room to hang them she felt a familiar slickness between her thighs.  She tried to shake it off as she grabbed the hangars and began putting the clothes away in the closet, but everything in the room naturally reminded her of him.

Colleen knew she could not very well stop and tell him to do it himself; she had no excuse and did not feel comfortable admitting the truth.  After several moments of biting her lip and pacing, she quietly closed the door and moved the laundry basket to the floor, impulsively grabbing a shirt out from it and throwing it on in place of her own.  Another impulsive move and her pajama pants found themselves crumpled into a ball on the carpet while she lay down atop the comforter on the bed, rolling around and enjoying the scent she unmistakably associated with  _ him _ as she buried her face in the pillows.  She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, placing her hand to her head.

“What am I doing…” she muttered, but the feeling of need between her legs only continued to grow.  She squirmed around in her discomfort, eventually curious enough to reach down and find her panties incredibly damp.  Groaning in frustration, she prayed her father had busied himself in his office and slipped her hand beneath the waistband.

Eyes closed, she whimpered quietly as her fingers began to skillfully stroke her clit.  She had found that, with the exception of Samuel, men just did not seem to know how to touch her, and for that reason if she weren’t having sex she tended to prefer to just touch herself.  This fact made her think back to her father, poised on top of her in her own bed, his cock sliding against her inner thigh as it pushed inside of her.

Colleen began to wish he were there with her, having half a mind to call out to him but still apprehensive of doing so.  She moaned as she imagined him bursting into the bedroom, chiding her for wearing his shirt and masturbating in his bed before climbing in with her.  She thought of him ripping off her panties, prying her legs open and pressing his face into her cunt where expertly he ate her out; two fingers were suddenly inside of her, and whether they were hers or in her fantasy she could not tell.  His tongue circled her clit, flicking over it in a way that made her nearly scream. She arched her back and her hips began to gyrate, her eyes scrunched shut as she begged her fantasy not to stop. It did not relent, licking and sucking harder until her moans became pleas.

“D-Daddy!” she whined as her hips jerked, feeling wave after wave of orgasm crash over her.  Her eyes snapped open, the fantasy lost as the pleasure subsided; nonetheless, she felt herself break out into a smile.  Her body and brain might not quite be on the same page, but that did not mean she couldn’t enjoy herself.

“Everything okay?” she heard Samuel yell from down the hall; apparently she had not been as discreet as she had hoped.  Quickly sliding off the bed and smoothing out the wrinkles on the bedspread, she opened the door and yelled back down the hall with a grin.

“Yeah!”

 

Samuel had holed himself up in his office again, but this time he decided it was late enough in the afternoon to open up a bottle of scotch and have a drink alone.  Leaning back in his chair, eyes fixated upon the ceiling, he began to reminisce about the events that had led him to this point.

Six months ago he was just discovering his true attraction to Colleen and now here he was having recently slept with her.  It left him speechless how much had changed in such a short time; moreover, he still had a difficult time fathoming why Colleen behaved the way she did.  He thought back to the drug he had given her, twice, and how it seemed to have heightened her sexual arousal both times. She seemed unwilling at first to succumb to his advances, and as Samuel sipped his scotch a horrible thought entered his mind: what if she was not attracted to him in that way after all, and her reaction had been entirely due to the substance coursing through her system.  Oh god, had he...assaulted his daughter?

The hand holding the glass of alcohol began to shake.   _ That’s absurd _ , he told himself,  _ she never told me to stop _ , yet the nagging voice in the back of his mind reminded him that  _ yes, she did, you just didn’t listen _ .  He took a swig of scotch, finishing the glass and quickly pouring another in a desperate attempt to numb the part of his brain responsible for this doubt.  He told himself over and over again that he brought her to orgasm both times, that clearly she must have enjoyed it given how she moaned and squirmed beneath him, yet his discomfort would not abate.

The partially intoxicated part of Samuel’s mind suggested that he might just ask her.  It was a simple enough concept, but one fraught with peril; her response could easily ruin a birthday that so far had not been the terrible event he had imagined.  He swirled his drink around in the glass, pondering the risk versus reward given the situation, and was on the verge of chugging the rest of the bottle before him when he heard a sharp rap on the door.

It was Colleen, of course; this did not surprise him.  What did shock him, however, was her choice of dress, and it took him a few seconds to process what he saw.  He sighed at her overly relaxed look, not fully comprehending her outfit.

“Colleen, how many times do I have to tell you, leggings do not count as pants-”

And then it hit him, a realization so startling it took everything in his power not to down the bottle anyway: it was  _ his  _ shirt she wore.

The untucked navy blue and white plaid button-down hung loosely over her small frame, covering her more like a dress than a shirt.  It easily hung midway down her thighs, draped over the flimsy stretch fabric of the black leggings that would do little to hide her choice of undergarments should she choose to bend over.  The top several buttons were undone, giving him an uncomfortably unimpeded view of her cleavage that did force him to finally finish his scotch.

She fiddled with the hem of the shirt, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously.  “Do- do you not like it? I can go change…”

Samuel eyed her as she bit her plump lower lip, shimmering with what he suspected was some sort of gloss.  His eyes traveled upward, noting the hint of blush on her cheeks and the heavier than usual makeup accentuating her wide eyes, and was struck with the sudden realization that all of this effort was for him and him alone.  She could have changed into her usual clothes with the usual amount of light makeup, if any at all while staying home, and he would have thought nothing of it. But here she was, going through all this trouble to impress him; certainly she could not think ill of their deviance.

Mind put at ease, he smiled as he stood from his chair and walked over to where she continued to fidget, her eyes fixated on him as he approached.  He looked down at her and stroked her cheek while she craned her neck to maintain eye contact; he rather enjoyed their difference in height when she chose not to wear heels, relishing the feeling of her dependence on him.  He heard her breathing quicken as he leaned in to press his lips to hers, sliding a hand around the back of her neck to gently pull her closer while he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Her small gasp, followed by a whimper, combined with the alcohol and fueled desires of being intimate with her again.

“It's perfect,” he whispered as he pulled away, pressing his forehead into hers.  He felt her breath, warm against his skin, and when he glanced down he saw the corners of her mouth turn up in a sheepish smile.

“I, uh, dinner’s ready,” she said, pulling away with a slight giggle and heading back to the kitchen.  Samuel stared after her, head spinning from the kiss and the alcohol.

_ You're perfect. _

When he reached the kitchen table, however, he found that his ability to get started on the delicious smelling feast was hindered by a small box in his seat. It was slightly smaller than a piece of standard printer paper and only maybe an inch thick, and when he picked it up something not very heavy shook inside.  Colleen seemed unfazed by his inspection, busying herself with fixing plates and getting drinks.

Samuel frowned.  “What's this?”

She chuckled as she poured some milk into a glass.  “Your present, duh.”

He shook his head; he explicitly asked for no gifts, and he thought she was honoring that wish when she had offered to simply make him dinner.  Now with one in his hand, however, he could not outright reject it without being horribly rude.

“Aren't gifts supposed to come after dinner?” was all he said, sitting in his chair and setting the box on the table beside him.  Colleen shrugged.

“I don't think it really matters.  Besides, I've been waiting to give it to you all week!”

She was clearly excited about it, a sentiment Samuel did not share.  He could not fathom what she could have possibly gotten for him; as much as he wanted to appreciate what she selected, he knew its existence would be forever tied to this particular celebration and he did not wish to be reminded.  Colleen plopped down in the chair across from him, folding her hands on the table and looking at him eagerly. With a forced smile to mask the grimace he felt, he slid his finger under the neatly folded corner of the wrapping paper and began to tear.

What he found inside was a thin journal, only maybe fifty pages or so.  He picked it up, looking to Colleen for permission; when she nodded he began to leaf through it and found neatly handwritten pages of what appeared to be some sort of poetry, judging by the length and structure of the lines, followed by longer paragraphs.  A few pages in he recognized one of the titles and realized it was not poetry after all, but song lyrics, and he looked up at her with a furrowed brow.

“It’s...um, it’s a collection of lyrics to songs that make me think of you, and some of the memories I associate with them.  I know- I know this is a difficult birthday for you, and I thought you might like to look back sometime and see all of the good times we’ve...had…” She faltered when Samuel only blinked at her, still processing the time it must have taken to put this together, and handwritten at that.  “I-I know it’s kind of lame-”

Cut off mid-sentence as Samuel’s chair scraped against the tile floor, Colleen’s eyes followed him as he stood and walked around the side of the table where he pulled her from her chair into an embrace.  She wrapped her arms around him immediately, and he enjoyed the tight squeeze she gave his midsection.

“It’s perfect,” he said again, smiling when she buried her face in his chest.  They stood like that for several moments, basking in each other, before she finally pulled away, mumbling something about the food getting cold.

Dinner was, of course, delicious, and he found he could not thank her enough for making the day special.  She even surprised him with a cake from the local bakery; she apologized for not making it herself but they both knew her baking skills were not up to task.  By the time the meal was over the alcohol in his bloodstream had reduced significantly and, full of roast and satisfaction, he no longer had thoughts of sleeping with her.  She seemed apprehensive for much of the evening, presumably wondering if exactly that was going to happen, but he was more than content to sit on the couch, her head in his lap while he paged through the journal.

He was torn between reading it all at once and saving it for a rainy day when he needed it the most, but he had barely read two entries when Colleen’s breathing indicated she had fallen asleep.  Unwilling to move her from his lap, he sat back with a smile and read each and every page. Most of the lyrics he did in fact recognize, and many of them surprised him as he would have considered them love songs; when placed next to her fond memories of their experiences, it threatened to bring tears to his eyes.  In fact, when he reached the last entry, the one she indicated represented ‘recent developments’ and ‘something [she] never knew [she] wanted’, he found himself furiously wiping at his face lest she wake up and see his reaction.

_ What took me so long. _

The underlined parts he gathered from previous entries were phrases most representative of her feelings, but it still left him unprepared for the surge of emotion he felt as the journal ended.

_ I’ve never wanted something rational. _

Contrary to his previous misgivings, she clearly felt an abundance of love for him and was simply having trouble expressing it, something with which Samuel could certainly sympathize.  How long had it taken him to finally work up the courage to act on his desires?

_ You’ve already won me over in spite of me. _

Looking down at her now, peacefully passed out in his lap, he could not think of anyone he would rather spend his time with, his life with.  The move to Happy Meadows had come at a cost, yes, both monetary and emotional, but he could not argue with the results even if they were completely unexpected.  In that moment, as he turned fifty, he realized the world was not in fact going to come crashing down around him; there was so much more of life to experience, and he considered himself lucky to have someone so wonderful to share it with.

Society and morals be damned.


	13. Chapter 13

“Come on Benji, I said no.”

The mumbled rejection coming from beneath the bedspread did nothing to deter the little Terrier, who took any noise as a sign of a willingness to play and began frantically pawing at the covers in the direction of the noise.  This so happened to be Colleen’s face, and she groaned as the blankets fell away and the light hit her.

“Benji nooooooo!” she howled, quickly moving a hand to cover her eyes.  Benji cocked his head to one side and then, with the dog equivalent of a shrug, began licking her now exposed cheeks.  She grimaced at first, but her scrunched face quickly gave way to laughter and she scooped up the furry pup in her arms.  “Okay, fine, I’m up!” she said with a chuckle. “I can’t stay mad at you.”

In truth, she could not; after all, how could she be upset with what she had deemed the best Christmas present ever?  It had been two weeks now since the holiday had passed, and the dog her father had all but snuck into the town as a surprise and companion for her had hardly left her side.  Even now as she padded down the hall into the bathroom, the little mutt would not relent and scratched at the door until she left it open during her shower.

The warm water provided the perfect avenue for some deep thought, which had Colleen remembering how the pup had come into her life in the first place.  It had been an odd time of year when she realized that, much like Halloween, the town did not appear to celebrate Christmas. A not so subtle inquiry revealed that most if not all the residents used to celebrate before coming to Happy Meadows, but upon arrival and learning it was just not done they didn’t question it.  This fact irked Colleen, a firm believer in family traditions, and she was not about to let the town’s customs get in the way of her enjoyment of the holiday. Her father had been ready to ignore it entirely, as they had few decorations and no tree, but at her insistence he allowed her to tape a construction paper cutout of one to the wall and put up what little decorations they had brought from home.

_ Home _ .  Colleen shook off the feelings of discomfort in the shower, reminding herself that this was their home now.  It might not be what she wanted, and they might have some ass backwards observances or lack thereof, but this was her life and she had to make the most of it.  She liked to think that she could make home out of anywhere as long as she had Samuel, and that seemed to be true thus far.

She smiled as she thought of her father; over the holidays he had been, if possible, even more affectionate.  Some of it she attributed to his feelings about his birthday, but he seemed so eager to spend time with her to the point it was almost becoming too much.  She enjoyed it immensely and could not stop grinning when she thought of him, but she felt that nagging sensation that over time she would need some space.  It was not a conversation she wanted to have to have with him, as happy as he had been lately. All she wanted was for him to be happy.

Admittedly, his birthday had affected her as well though she was loathe to admit it.  He wasn’t getting any younger, and the thought of losing him in any way caused her to spend multiple nights with tears in her eyes.  Fifty wasn’t even terribly old, but when the realization hit her that he was all she had the sobs would not abate. She had no friends, no other family to turn to; she felt horribly alone in this town despite all of the people living there.

She wanted to be close to him more than anything, and for that reason she could not understand her hesitation concerning his physical affections.  On more than one occasion she had considered calling him into her bed for the simple purpose of holding her until she fell asleep, but she stopped herself because she knew that would not be enough for him.  She wanted to be physical with him again, to feel that depth of attachment and the sheer pleasure of it all, but at the same time it was as though she was afraid to further alter their relationship.

Colleen put her head in her hand, wiping away the confused tears that started to form.  Things were so much simpler before this had happened; perhaps she needed to speak with Liam again.  She hated doing so, as he always managed to make her feel like she had been a horrible daughter, but at the same time he always seemed to speak reason.

At least now she had Benji.  She poked her head out of the shower curtain to find him sitting on the rug, wagging his tail expectantly; smiling down at the goofy furball, she gasped when suddenly shoes came into view and looked up to see Samuel standing behind the dog on the bathmat.  He was already fully dressed, something Colleen found quite impressive considering the hour. Blushing, she instinctively pulled the curtain so that it covered more of her.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly as she adjusted the fabric.

Colleen faltered, biting her lip.  “I know...I know we’ve, I just...I dunno, it feels weird for you to see me naked without bubbles or anything…”

Samuel chuckled, nudging Benji gently with his foot so he could stand in the dog’s place.  He grabbed the curtain from Colleen’s hand and pulled it aside, clicking his tongue when she shifted to cover herself to the best of her ability.  “Now, now.”

Reluctantly and face on fire, she lowered her arms and uncrossed her legs.  Samuel looked her up and down, eyes traveling over every inch, every curve; she did not meet his gaze, opting instead to stare at his feet until he lifted her chin with two fingers and forced their eyes to meet.  His half-lidded expression betrayed his arousal, something that caused Colleen's face to grow even hotter. She shuddered as he licked his lips, his fingers brushing wet hair from her face.

“Come to my room when you're finished,” he said, and she knew his husky voice did not mean it as a request.  He waited for her slight nod before turning on his heel and heading in the direction of his bedroom, leaving her to shiver in anticipation.

Benji stared up at her, his tiny head cocked to one side as if perplexed by Samuel's behavior.  Colleen sighed as she pulled the shower curtain back into its rightful place.

“You and me both.”

 

Samuel threatened to wear a path in the brand new carpet of his bedroom, his pacing having not let up since he entered.  He was nervous, perhaps more than he should be, but Colleen seemed to hesitate when she accepted his request to join him after her shower.  He admitted that barging in on her like that was probably not the most appropriate methodology, but when he saw the door open and heard the water running he could not help himself knowing what waited inside.

She looked exquisite when he pulled back the curtain, and her shyness at him seeing her nude was downright adorable.  He had half a mind to rip his clothes off right then and there, aching to join her in carnal delight once more, and it was only with extreme self control that he was able to allow her to finish bathing.  It was a self control that he could tell was speeding towards imminent failure.

He had been nothing if not patient waiting for the right moment to proposition her, knowing full well that in her drugged and drowsy state the last time she had not exactly agreed.  The fact that he now had to actually ask in some form had plagued him for weeks now; things were so much easier when she was asleep and under the influence of the substance. He did not want that, however; he wanted her to consent to being with him fully lucid and aware.  He wanted her to want him.

The thought of the horror of rejection kept Samuel away from this territory for the past couple of weeks even as he could not seem to pry Colleen from his mind.  He finally told himself he would seize the next available opportunity despite how intimidating it may be; it was just his daughter, after all. He'd known her for her whole life and never had trouble speaking to her before, so why should this be any different?

His pacing ceased as he heard the running water stop from down the hall and the sound of the shower curtain being pulled aside; his heart hammered in his chest, thundering in his ears to the point of nearly drowning out everything else.  He felt his mouth dry out, his breaths becoming shallow and rapid. Thoughts of all the ways this could go remarkably wrong raced through his mind, clouding his vision with scenarios of utter disappointment.  _ I can't do this _ rang loud and clear, his stomach in knots and his limbs trembling.   _ I can't do this. _

Suddenly Colleen appeared in his doorway, her luscious curves wrapped in nothing but a thin towel.  Samuel's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his beloved, her skin aglow as droplets of water continued to fall from her damp hair.  Her cheeks were flushed from the heat of the shower, but the way her eyes shone up at him and her lips parted suggested there may be something more.

Against all reason, his fears abated and he met her with a warm smile that she returned after a moment of apprehension.  He beckoned her towards him, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hands as she came to stand before him; the towel she had been so carefully holding began to fall, but he held her hands tightly as she reached to grab it.  It hit the floor, crumpled around her feet and exposed her entire naked body once more. She inhaled sharply and took half a step back; Samuel slid his hands to her hips and pulled her forward so that she stood between his legs and he rested his cheek against her abdomen.

He was content to sit there for several moments, feeling her breathe as he ran his fingers up and down her waist and delighting when she shuddered.  He could hardly contain himself when she reached up and held his head to her, running her hands through his hair in a way that both relaxed and aroused him.  Pulling back slightly, he captured a nipple in his mouth and felt himself harden at the the audible whimper she made.

“D-Dad!”

Samuel allowed his teeth to graze the sensitive nub as his fingers began traveling up her inner thigh and was pleased to find that Colleen willingly shifted to expose more of herself to him.  He pressed his thumb into her clit and let out a noise of his own as she whined, her legs beginning to tremble; his fingers danced about her slit, teasing her until she began to quietly beg but it was not enough.  He wanted to hear her.

One finger dipped inside of her up to the knuckle, then a second, taunting her.  His thumb continued its assault of her clit as he slowly moved his fingers in and out without ever letting her feel their length; he smirked as she wailed, attempting to squirm downward to force them inside.  She almost growled when he refused to give in to her desires, her hands steadying herself on his shoulders.

“G-God, Dad, please!”

It was all the incentive Samuel needed.  He removed his hand and grabbed her waist, pulling her towards the bed next to him and flinging her down onto her back where she landed with a small bounce that drew his attention back to her breasts.  He turned and crawled on top of her, nuzzling one and flicking his tongue over the nipple while maintaining eye contact. Colleen’s eyes were wide and full of fire as well as something else he could not quite place, but he shrugged it off as he positioned himself between her legs.  He eagerly began to grind his hips against her, his throbbing cock pressing against her cunt through the all too confining fabric of his pants. Her lips parted slightly as he thrust against her, chest heaving as she rocked back and forth. He did not think he could wait any longer.

Samuel fumbled with his belt and zipper, anxiously awaiting the tight wet cunt ready to envelop him.  He barely heard Colleen’s small voice calling out to him, but as he began to press the tip against her he felt her hands shoot out and push his shoulders back.

“D-Dad, wait,” she said more firmly.

He looked down at her, exasperated and nearly ready to come right there.  The fire in her eyes had been almost entirely replaced by what he now could identify as guilt, and suddenly a sinking feeling gnawed at his stomach.  He sat back on his thighs, staring down at her as she opened and closed her mouth.

“I...I don’t think this...this isn’t a good idea,” she whispered.

“Why not?” he asked, hoping he did not sound like the petulant child he heard in his head.  Colleen took in a deep breath, pursing her lips.

“I’m not ready.”

Of all the things for her to say, this perplexed him the most.  She seemed perfectly willing thirty seconds ago, and it was not like this was the first time.  He tried to roll over possible explanations in his mind but came up empty.

“I know it’s not the first time,” she continued, tears forming in her eyes,“but I...I don’t know, I was half asleep the last time, and it just...it feels different.  More real. I don’t...I want this, I do, just not...not yet, okay?”

Samuel let out a sigh of disbelief, but it only served to make her tears begin to fall.  He moved off of her to sit back on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. What the hell was happening?  This was a thousand times worse than the worst bad dream, and there was no waking up from it. This was the reality.

He recoiled as Colleen sat up and gently placed a hand on his shoulder; she gulped and wiped her eyes.  “I-I’m sorry, Dad-” she began, but he held up a hand to stop her.

“Get out.”

What was quiet crying abruptly turned into ugly sobbing, and Colleen choked on a nod before grabbing her towel from the floor and wrapping it around herself as she hurriedly made her way down the hall to her room.  Samuel heard her door close and lock, Benji scratching furiously at the wood until she opened it for a brief moment to let him in.

He leaned back on the bed, running a hand through his hair and furiously trying to keep his own tears at bay.  He did not cry often, but this revelation was so shocking he did not know what else to do. His whole world had been shattered; how could they possibly move forward after this?

 

_ What have I done? _

Colleen wanted more than anything to take back what she did, but more than that she wanted to take back what she said.  She did not realize for an instant how badly it would damage her father’s fragile sense of self, and more than anything she still wanted him to be happy.  Had she known it would hurt him so, she would have swallowed her discomfort and allowed him to continue with the act that had so dramatically pushed the boundaries of their relationship.

Samuel had locked himself in his office for the better part of the day, and despite desperately wanting to break down the door and talk to him she knew better.  He was probably drinking, which surely would not do his mood any favors; moreover, he had made it quite clear in the bedroom that he did not want her around. Their interactions over the rest of the day had been limited, but when he did find it necessary to be in the same room he was insufferably rude and made several derogatory comments Colleen did not think him capable of.  These incidents ended with her going back up to her room with tears in her eyes, and by the time the sun had set she did not think she had any tears left.

Resigned to spending the rest of the evening in her room, she went around the house making sure everything was locked up with the knowledge that Samuel likely would not feel like doing it or care.  She paused upon seeing the back porch door cracked open, frowning when she realized it had probably been like that for months since she used to sneak out with Danny. She opened the door from the interior of the house and had barely stepped into the porch when she felt something brush past her leg; paling, she realized all too late it was Benji, sensing freedom and taking advantage of this portal to the outside.

Immediately Colleen began to panic.  It had been impressed upon her by the townspeople and by her father upon giving her Benji that pets of any kind were banned in Happy Meadows, at least ones that could get out like cats and dogs and mess up the town’s pristine aesthetic.  If anyone found out that they were keeping a dog inside with some strategically placed puppy pads, they would be in major trouble with the town leadership. The penalty was just a fine, but from what Colleen heard it was a steep fine and she did not want her father to have to deal with that when he had gone out of his way to bring her a companion.  The last thing she wanted was for anyone to look down on them, especially those whom her father held in high regards such as Liam.

“Benji!” she hissed, grateful that the dog did not seem too interested in barking.  She ran out of the back door after him, shivering due to lack of coat and proper shoes that weren’t thin flats.  Despite the cold she was actually somewhat grateful for the thin layer of snow on the ground, as she could follow Benji’s footprints more easily without having to call after him.  He headed in the direction of the community center graveyard, a place Colleen did not wish to visit during daytime let alone when it was nearly pitch black, yet she had no choice but to press on.

It was dimly lit, just enough for her to see the tracks, but she lost them amongst the scattered headstones; panicking, she started calling his name quietly, growing more anxious and colder by the minute when he did not respond or appear.  She felt tears well in her eyes again, the frustration becoming nearly overwhelming, and was about ready to cut her losses and call her father when she heard a voice nearby.

“Looking for this?”

Colleen’s head snapped to the direction of the noise and was surprised to find Danny, kneeling on the ground and holding Benji by the collar.  Benji was panting but seemed unharmed and possibly even excited for the adventure he had just made for himself. She paled as she locked eyes with his captor, biting her lip and stuttering.

“I-I, that’s….y-yeah, he’s...h-he’s mine…”

Danny shifted slightly as Benji tried to run to her, holding the dog fast.  “You know pets are banned, right?” he asked softly.

Colleen hung her head; so much for not getting in trouble.  “He was...a Christmas present…” she mumbled.

She waited for Danny to scold her, as he had a habit of doing as of late, and to confiscate the dog and threaten to bring it up to the town leaders.  Much to her surprise, he smiled.

“That was nice of your father.  Benji, you said?” She nodded, and Danny gave the dog a firm scratch on the head.  “You’re going to need to take better care of him if you want to keep him. Don’t want anyone finding out.”

Colleen gaped at him, shifting uncomfortably as her feet began to finally feel the freezing temperatures.  “You’re...not going to…?”

He laughed quietly.  “What, turn you in? No, I...not today.  Just be more careful.”

She nodded, giving him an almost genuine smile.  This could have gone much, much worse, and given the day she had been having she did not think she could handle worse.  She walked forward to pick up the small furball, and as she reached down to take him she caught a glimpse of Danny’s face up close that made her gasp.  He looked like he had been crying.

Danny caught her studying him and turned his head away; Colleen looked down at the tombstone he knelt at, noticing how much smaller it was than the others.  It had no markings, no name, and was entirely unremarkable by comparison to the other graves. She frowned, Benji squirming in her arms.

“Who…?” she asked, immediately wishing she had not after seeing the pained look on Danny’s face.

“None of your business,” he snapped.  Colleen opened her mouth again with thoughts of comforting him but he lowered his  head with a sigh. “Just go, Colleen. Before I change my mind.”

She stared at him for a few moments before shutting her mouth and taking a few steps backwards.  As she turned on her heel to leave, she caught a glimpse of a grief-ravaged Danny slamming his fist into the ground.

 

_ Colleen, _

_ Would it surprise you to find me bitter?  I would assume not, as I know I’ve had a difficult time suppressing those particular feelings when we interact.  I can only imagine how all of the snippy remarks and blatant avoidance must seem to you when assuredly, in your eyes, you have done nothing wrong.  I can’t even begin to tell you how untrue I find that to be. _

_ I know it would be wrong of me to expect you to be in the mood all the time, so I won’t.  But to seem as interested, as aroused as you did, only to stop so abruptly with no logical reason as to why- it does not sit right with me.  I’m upset, yes, and perhaps upset is not strong enough of a word but none come to mind that would accurately define how I feel. I don’t understand how you could possibly do this. _

_ I could have possibly even accepted it had you lied and told me it was that time of the month or that you weren’t feeling well.  I could have lied to myself then, too, and waited for the next opportunity. But I now know that the next opportunity will likely never come because it simply isn’t what you want. _

_ I truly thought we had something.  I thought you understood me, wanted me even.  I thought that night in your room was the beginning of something entirely precious and our own. _

_ I was wrong.  God, how wrong I was. _

_ I just wish I could understand what made you willing the first time.  I suppose I had a bit of a hand in that, but I didn’t force you. What changed?  The simple answer would be that this time I did not give you the same supplement, but I refuse to believe it was the culprit.  I don’t blame the drug for your change of heart. I blame you. _

_ What else is there to say?  You broke my heart, Colleen. _

Samuel set the pen down next to the notebook where the tremors in his hand had made the last few lines nearly illegible.  He could taste the ire, that bitter reality of rejection on his tongue where it mixed with the scotch he had been sipping all too quickly.  He had holed himself up in his office for the better part of the day, relieved to find that Colleen knew better than to disturb him in this mood.  It had been a long time since he deemed it necessary to use the notebook Liam had provided, but he could not think of a better circumstance necessitating him to pour his heart out into the pages.

He leaned back, head in his hands.  He wanted to yell, to scream at the top of his lungs in anguish, but the noise would not come.  Relief was not his to be had. A very small part of his mind told him he deserved this, that this pain was what he earned by lusting after his daughter and, furthermore, acting on it; he quickly shut down that particular line of thought.  This was not his doing. It was entirely hers.

_ I never should have entrusted it to you in the first place. _


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out https://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/ for updates (and fun fic-related pictures!)

As inconceivable as it sounded, the ledgers had simply stopped making sense.  Samuel had gone over them three times now, trying in vain to force the numbers to add up properly but somehow something was not quite right.  The town only made so much money due to taxes and donations at community gatherings, yet the available funds were over twice what he expected.  In theory there should not have been funding for the new library Liam insisted on erecting, yet they miraculously had enough for that and extra money to burn.  Where the hell was it coming from? None of the residents seemed particularly wealthy, and Samuel knew from experience the steep financial cost of moving to the town; moreover, not a soul had moved in since he and Colleen had arrived.  None of it made any sense.

He put his weary head in his hands.  This was not the stress he needed right now, not when his home life was already in shambles.  He still had not forgiven Colleen for her rejection; he was unsure if he could ever move past it.  Writing in the journal had done little to calm him, but rather it reminded him of the event and the emotions it stirred in vivid detail that he did not wish to relive.  Talking to Liam, the only other option in his eyes, was out of the question as he simply did not believe he could maintain his composure when going through it again. It was in the past where it belonged.

Yet he was unable to bury the memories for good, stuck in the tar pit that was his darling daughter’s unwillingness to be intimate with him.  Her reasoning of lucidity changing her desires stung even worse; did she truly not wish to be with him like that when awake? It broke a part of Samuel to think of that, but at the same time he knew his current modus operandi of snide remarks and otherwise ignoring her was unsustainable.  They lived in the same house, after all, and Colleen had no means by which to support herself and move out.

Nor did he want her to.  The mere thought of not having her around made him want to vomit; he was upset with her, yes, heartbroken even, but he still loved her.  He could never stop loving her, not while his heart continued to beat and air breathed into his lungs. This rift between them needed to be fixed, but he knew he had been so nasty that she would not dare approach him now.  He would have to be the one to initiate.

Samuel frowned as he wracked his brain for ideas of how to best approach the situation.  Staring at these messed up ledgers certainly was not helping; he would have to set them aside and discuss the finances with Liam in the morning.  He gathered the books and papers and placed them in his bag, then leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling as though searching for clues within the slight imperfections in the textured paint.  There had to be something he could do to show Colleen he still cared while maintaining his distance as a reminder that he was still hurt and healing.

Seconds turned into minutes, then minutes into hours as he tried in vain to come up with an appropriate action.  When nothing came, he let out an exasperated grunt and sprang from his chair with the decision that no decision meant he had to stop wasting his time and let it come to him naturally.  Besides, the water he had chugged to offset the alcohol and clear his head before working had gone right through him.

Samuel stepped down the hall towards the bathroom, the same one Colleen primarily used as 

her own.  The door to her room was shut and he could hear music blaring from within; he had half a mind to tell her to turn it down but decided against it, instead opting to make his way into the bathroom and close the door.  A brief glance towards the claw foot tub served as an all too uncomfortable reminder of their first encounter of a sexual nature, and Samuel tried to shake off the combined feelings of guilt and arousal before relieving himself.

A splash of cool water to the face did little to calm him, and he sighed as he dried his washed hands and face on the towel next to the sink.   _ So much for a relaxing Sunday _ , he thought bitterly, turning on his heel to leave when something caught his eye.  He did not think much of it at first, poking out of the wastebasket, but there was something that struck him about the shade of pink.  He crouched down and lifted it out, fully expecting it to be packaging from some new makeup Colleen had purchased and blanching when he read the label and realized it was decidedly not that.

The words “Pregnancy Test” decorated the pink box in bright blue lettering, imagery of the test displaying two solid pink lines on the front.  One side of the box displayed usage information, while another explained the results and the purported accuracy. Samuel felt his heart beat considerably faster in his chest; Colleen was on birth control, wasn't she?  If she was going to run out wouldn't she have told him? Yes, he had neglected to use protection when he slept with her, but not once did it cross his mind that it might be an issue. The existence of this test in her bathroom didn't make any sense.

But it did exist, and its existence meant that a test stick should be somewhere close by.  Samuel peered into the wastebasket but found it largely empty; the stick was not in the packaging it had arrived in, either.  A glance on the counter found a lot of makeup, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and the soap dispenser, but still no pregnancy test.  He felt like he was about to have a heart attack, his head swimming and dizziness threatening to overtake him. Clutching the side of the counter, he took in a deep breath and looked at the box again.  He had to know. He had to know now.

He paused just outside of Colleen's door, fist poised to knock.   _ Pregnancy _ .  It wasn't something he'd ever considered in the cards for Colleen, and certainly not with him; besides, wouldn't any child they conceived certainly be mentally stunted in some way?  No good ever came from inbreeding, and hearing about cousins being bad enough drove home the fact that a father and daughter reproducing would almost certainly be heinous. Genetic abnormalities were almost a certainty; he would never want to bring a child like that into this world, let alone raise it, and Colleen did not have a mothering bone in her body as far as he was aware.

Or did she?  Samuel's mind was suddenly filled with imagery of the two of them, very much as they were now, but accompanied by a smiling, giggling infant.  He could not help but think of all the possibilities; Colleen in the delivery room, looking exhausted but smiling proudly with the newborn in her arms; all those pesky midnight feedings ending with the satisfaction of coaxing the child to sleep with a lullaby; photos taken of the two of them with the baby, something to remember these days by as they moved forward with this next chapter in their lives.  For a moment it almost seemed impossibly appealing.

Samuel shook off these thoughts, staring forward again.  He moved in to rap on the door when suddenly it swung open and a very startled Colleen stepped back after nearly colliding with him.  He lowered his arm and peered down at her, lips pursed; her eyes met his and she looked visibly perturbed by his presence.

“D-Dad, um...hi,” was all she managed to say before noticing the empty box in his hand.  She took another step back into her room, stuttering. “I-I can e-explain-”

“Please do.”

He had not meant for his voice to sound so harsh but managed to keep his wince internal, instead focusing on the way Colleen fumbled her words and the contrite look on her face.  Oh, no- did that mean the test was positive? The more he thought about it, the more those scenarios seemed unrealistic and so far out of reach that he felt foolish for allowing himself to contemplate them in the first place.  His heart continued thundering in his chest; he unconsciously stepped towards his nervous daughter even as she backed into her dresser.

“I-It was negative,” she said hurriedly, interrupting Samuel’s hazy train of thought.  He blinked and stared down at her, watching her chest heave in anticipation.

“Show me.”

It was not that he did not trust her, but he wanted to see for himself.  He did not think her capable of lying about something this serious, especially when she had no one else to turn to for advice, yet he wanted to be the judge.  What if she had misread the test, what if there was the faintest positive line and she just would not allow herself to see it, what if-

Negative.  The test line was stark white no matter what angle he held it at up to the light.  He sighed what was largely a sigh of relief, though a very small part of him could not help but feel disappointed; he could not let Colleen see that side of him.

“Well, that's...certainly a relief,” he said after clearing his throat.  Colleen bit her lip, and in that moment he almost forgave her for her rejection of him.  She looked so innocent, so vulnerable, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her until the sun rose the next morning; however, the thought of what he would want to do with her, to her, while holding her and her likely reaction quickly stifled that desire.

“I-I don’t think it’s just too early, either...I’m like a week late, so chances are that’s probably right.”

Samuel didn’t much understand how pregnancy tests worked, nor did he care to.  His lips curled into a slight frown as he tried to keep his voice soft with all of the emotions he felt threatening to bubble over.  “I thought you were on birth control.”

She looked down and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.  “I...I ran out. I didn’t think it would matter, so…”

He looked at her for a long time as she stared at the floor, occasionally daring to look up at him and eyes darting back down when she found his expression harsh.  He felt compelled to comfort her again, but this was not the time to lose his composure. For once he needed to act like her father in such a situation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly.

Colleen finally looked back up at him, appearing surprised by the kindness in his voice.  “Cuz...I thought you’d be mad. More mad than you already are,” she said after some hesitation.

He blinked.  So she was in fact acutely aware of just how upset he was; he was unsure if he felt glad or guilty.  He shook his head slightly and stepped towards her, sighing as she panicked for a moment without an escape route.  He brought his hand to her face, surprised and somewhat offended when she turned her head away.

“Colleen,” he said sternly, feeling the slightest pang of remorse as she winced, “I’m trying to...I’m trying.”

“I know,” she mumbled, tears welling in her eyes, “but I ...you can’t just be mean and then suddenly be nice again…”

Samuel’s hand dropped to his side as he took a step backwards; he could feel the anger building inside of him, and suddenly the crying young woman in front of him appeared weak and pathetic.  “What do you want me to do, then?” he snapped, then thought better of it and held up his hand when she opened her mouth. “You know what? Forget it.”

He left her like that, sobbing in the middle of her bedroom, and went into his own room and slammed the door.  Once again he found himself wondering how they were to move forward when nothing seemed right anymore; she hated when he was upset with her, but now his compassion made her uncomfortable as well?  His options for how to interact and deal with her were becoming more and more limited every day.

What was going to happen when they ran out?

 

Colleen had spent the last several hours curled up in her bed crying and wishing she could be anywhere but home.  She had half a mind to go sit on the playground, but the cold February weather was not conducive to being outdoors for long periods of time.  Staying put, while the most attractive option, made her feel physically ill, and she was so distraught she skipped dinner entirely. The thought of being around her father for any length of time did nothing short of send her into a panic.

She knew it was stupid to continue to keep her distance yet at the same time she just could not find the emotional energy to confront him.  The pregnancy scare confession had been bad enough, but when he surprised her by being gentle she honestly did not know what to do. She wanted to accept it, to lean into his hand and have a nice dinner together and maybe even cuddle after, but the dramatic shifts in his mood were unpredictable and, were she being honest with herself, scared her on some level.  It was best in her mind to give him some time to figure himself out.

She hated this.  All she wanted was to be a good daughter, but ever since they moved to this place it seemed like nothing she did was good enough.  It had been one thing to hear it from Liam, who only had the briefest of insights into their true home life; his opinion had been easier to stomach despite how much it upset her because she knew he did not have all the facts.  With these recent developments where Samuel was concerned, however, she felt as though all of her actions were wrong no matter what she did. At first she thought it was entirely him overreacting to her refusal to sleep with him- her own  _ father _ \- but as the weeks passed she wondered if perhaps she was in the wrong.

A substantial fear began growing in her mind, one that gnawed at her like Benji with his favorite bone.  Perhaps she  _ wasn't  _ good enough for him.  Perhaps she never would be.

Just as Colleen started to drift off to an early sleep a buzz from her phone caused her bleary eyes to snap back open.  She fumbled for the device on her nightstand, nearly knocking it to the floor in her daze, and when she brought it to her face she blinked her red puffy eyelids several times before registering the notification.  It was a text message from a number she vaguely recognized but apparently had not deemed necessary to add to her contacts; a few failed attempts to unlock her phone passed before she finally got to the contents of the message, and her eyes immediately widened and she sat up sharply in her bed.

The attachment contained a clear picture of Benji, a large masculine hand wrapped around the dog’s small body.  The text message beneath it read, “Friend of urs? Come by my place if u want him.” Colleen stared at the number again, panic beginning to rise in her chest.  She hadn’t seen Benji in awhile that day, but she assumed he was curled up somewhere or destroying something; she never would have guessed that he had somehow gotten out.  To think that he had been roaming around the town until this person caught him stressed her out immensely; furthermore, she suddenly remembered why this particular phone number was not in her contacts, and why she had deleted all previous messages from the sender.  It was not someone she had any desire to talk to, to see in private ever again if she could avoid it, but she could not very well leave Benji in such devious hands.

_ Brian _ .

Colleen gulped, all thoughts of her father and her imperfections suddenly pushed aside.  This was bad. This was beyond bad. She was unsure who had enacted the town rule banning pets, but as The Second it was Brian's responsibility to enforce that rule; he might even tell Liam.  They would be fined for sure, and Liam's relationship with her father might become strained. That was something she could not bear to have had a hand in, not when her father’s psyche had already become so fragile as of late.  She wanted him to remain in good standing with the community and its leadership, regardless of what they and he might think of her, and as much as she hated to admit it she knew she had to go deal with this mess. She would have to confront Brian.

Part of her considered texting back and telling him to meet her somewhere besides his private residence, but that further risked Benji’s exposure.  With a low groan she flipped on the lights and pulled together the least sexy sweatpants and tattered sweatshirt she could find, praying that Brian would not think this a reason to bribe her into his bed.  She looked at herself in the mirror, at her tear-stained cheeks, bloodshot eyes, and tousled hair, and decided she looked enough of a mess that no one could possibly be interested. Or so she hoped.

Sneaking out of the house was easy; if she weren’t already a pro at it by now, Samuel was distracted and appeared to have already turned in for the night.  Colleen was grateful he had not noticed Benji’s absence, and surely this meant she could retrieve the dog and bring him home without her father ever knowing.  She did not want to have a conversation with him about this, knowing full well the pup was her responsibility and therefore so was his disappearance. She grimaced to herself as she made the short walk over to Brian’s; she truly could not do anything right.

Colleen took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell, trying to prepare herself for what might be waiting inside.  She half expected Brian to answer the door shirtless and was relieved when he did not, though the tight white tee left very little of his abs to the imagination and the dark skinny jeans indicated that perhaps every day was in fact leg day.  Besides that all he wore was a grin, and she paled when she peered around him and realized Benji was nowhere to be found.

“Colleen!  I knew you’d come-” he began, but she quickly cut him off.

“Where is he?”

Brian’s grin grew wider.  “All in good time, all in good time!  Please come in, you must be freezing!”  He extended his arm to welcome her inside but Colleen brushed past him and immediately began scouring the rooms for any sign of the dog.  She heard the front door shut and lock but thought little of it, calling out Benji’s name and looking in every corner; she had made it through the foyer, the kitchen, and the dining room, and was starting on the living room when Brian’s hand on her shoulder made her stop with a jump.  “Shh, shh...you’re so wound up, Colleen...you need to relax…”

Colleen paled as Brian began to massage her shoulders, understanding the implication of his statement and actions.  She tried to squirm away but his strong fingers held her firmly in place as he worked the muscles in her back while pulling her towards him, and soon she felt his breath on her ear.

“Brian…” she whispered, starting to feel a combination of afraid and foolish for ever thinking this was a good idea.  All she wanted was her puppy back, but if her last time here was any indication her host was not interested in taking no for an answer.  She felt like she had to try, however, and just prayed that he was not the type to get violent despite knowing all too well he had it in him.

Brian’s teeth on her ear made her shudder and jerk away, but his fingers dug into her shoulders and he nipped her harder.  “See, the thing is, I know you know pets are banned in town. So what I’m wondering is, whose idea was it to bring one in, hmm?  Yours or your Daddy’s?”

Colleen writhed against him as he ran his tongue up her neck and cheek; tears would have been streaming down her face had she not cried them all out earlier.  She closed her eyes as one hand snaked around her front from her shoulder, settling in threateningly just at the base of her neck and serving as a reminder of who was in control of the situation.  He seemed to always have to be in control.

“H..his...was a present,” she mumbled, immediately hearing Brian smirk.

“I see.  You know, I really should let Liam know, but he’ll probably just kill the poor thing, and I can’t imagine how that will impact his relationship with your dear old Dad…”

Colleen shut her eyes tighter at the thought of losing Benji and at further upsetting Samuel.  She refused to let him do this to her, but at the same time she knew she had to give in or she risked losing more than she was willing to give.  “W-What do you want?”

“Oh I think you know,” he purred, his grip on her neck tightening slightly, “and I promise if you’re good I’ll find that mutt a good home and we can pretend this never happened.”

It felt like more of a threat than a bargain, but Colleen knew she was not really in a bargaining position to begin with.  With a gulp she nodded, unable to control the shaking in her limbs. She could almost feel Brian’s broad smile before seeing it when he let go of her and offered her his hand, terrified but without a choice.  She gently placed her hand in his, stumbling as he dragged her not upstairs as she would have guessed, but down into the basement.

All kinds of scenarios raced through her mind, and none of them good, though the finished basement did not seem like the kind of place anything unseemly would happen.  There was a living area with a couch and television, and as they passed some of the rooms she saw an impressive home gym through one of the open doors. It was the door at the end of the hallway that they entered, however, and Colleen’s breath caught in her throat as she realized her suspicions were confirmed.

The room was unfinished and bare with the exception of an unmade mattress placed haphazardly on the concrete.  A metal table sat next to a large closed trunk, the contents of which she frantically hoped she would not have to see.  A hook stuck out from a support beam in the ceiling, beneath which were two shackles bolted to the floor. All in all it was a dreary, gruesome sight and one which Colleen did not want any part in.

Brian had pushed her into the room first, chuckling as she turned and tried to shove him out of the way in order to make her escape.  He pushed her away roughly, not seeming to care when she stumbled and fell to the floor with a wince. The concrete was solid and icy to the touch, and while it was not a place she wanted to spend much of her time she had a feeling she would be getting to know it quite well.  Brian padded across the floor to loom over her, the cold not seeming to bother him as he looked down at her with a satisfied smirk.

“Get up.”

When she did not move quickly enough, still grimacing at the pain, he grabbed her by the hair and yanked her to her feet.  She cried out and clawed at his arm but he immediately flung her aside as he made his way over to the ominous chest.

“Get undressed.”

Colleen’s eyes looked towards the now closed door, her only means of escape, and she wondered if she could make a break for it.  It did not seem likely; surely Brian was as fast as he was strong, which did not work at all in her favor. On top of that, what would happen to Benji if she bolted?  She had to stay. She had to do this for him, no matter how badly it hurt her. Besides, how bad could it possibly be? The room was daunting, yes, but somewhere within Brian there had to be the semblance of a decent human being.

She took her time getting undressed, all the more uncomfortable as the frigid air washed over her bare skin.  She wrapped her arms around her chest, partly to keep her nipples warm and partly to keep the sight of them from Brian even if for a little longer.  He had finished rummaging around in the chest and walked back over to her, looking pleased with himself as he held out the one thing Colleen had been dreading despite its simplicity: a length of rope.  Balking as she saw it, she took a step back and whimpered when he grabbed her by the arm.

“Hold out your wrists,” he ordered sharply.

“B-Brian, this isn’t...I-I’ve never,” she stuttered, tears almost forming as he grabbed her arms and began binding them together at the wrists.  Her body began to tremble, only made worse as he finished and her test of the knot proved it to be secure. Still holding her hands, he reached up and stroked her cheek in an almost caring manner until she shied away; his eyes narrowed and he growled, sliding his hand down until it wrapped around her throat.

The constriction of her airway was something new for Colleen, and instantly her eyes widened and she began to struggle.  Brian did not relent, however, and continued to squeeze even as she sputtered and her eyes began to glaze over, baring his teeth as he choked her with an almost inhuman strength.  It seemed to last an agonizing eternity as she fought to maintain consciousness, the dim outline of Brian growing more fuzzy by the minute. Her vision started to go black as the last of the air escaped her lungs, and she had a fleeting thought of apologizing to her father for everything she had ever done wrong to him.

Nearly passed out, she barely noticed the pressure on her throat beginning to subside, the air flowing back into her body.  She coughed and choked as Brian released her, his eyes still narrow and still seething. He held her hands firmly, and before she could breathe comfortably again he dragged her stumbling into the middle of the room underneath the hook.  In a daze Colleen was somewhat unaware of what was happening besides the sensation of her arms being lifted above her head and her legs being spread, and it took several more moments of oxygen entering her bloodstream for her to fully comprehend her position.

Her wrists had been attached to the hook via the rope, and no amount of twisting or pulling seemed to dislodge it.  Her legs were spread beneath her, shackled to the floor as she stood on her tiptoes at her full albeit short height.  It was uncomfortable, not to mention demeaning to have her naked body on display like that for Brian. He had started to walk in circles around her, admiring her figure and nodding appreciatively.

“You should show off more,” he said, stepping closer and running a hand over her shivering stomach.  “You’ve got just the right amount of curve.”

Their eyes met and Colleen snapped hers shut at the sight of the overwhelming lust in his gaze.  This was purely physical for him, she knew, and though she was no stranger to sex for pleasure being tied up in this dehumanizing manner was not something she had ever wished to experience.  His fingertips began to run down her abdomen, circling lower and lower until they reached the very spot she did not want him to touch. He dipped a finger inside of her unceremoniously, sighing when he did not find her to his liking.

“Not even a little bit wet?  Tsk, tsk- we’ll fix that.” He stepped in close, leaning into her ear with a dangerous whisper.  “I’m going to make you scream.”

She didn’t doubt it, but she did not think it would be for the reason he insinuated.  Whatever he was about to do was going to be painful, or degrading, or both; how could she get turned on from that?  Her fear mounted as Brian moved away and around her with a smirk, rummaging around in the trunk for god only knew what.  Colleen pulled at her bonds again but it only served to make the rope and chains dig into her skin; she knew she would have marks after this and did not even want to think about how she would explain them to her father if he found out.

He could never find out about this; she simply could not allow it.  It was too humiliating on top of the shame of losing Benji in the first place.  A single tear ran down her cheek as she thought of Samuel, of all of her faults and how badly she wished she had just stayed in with him.  Perhaps if they had not argued the dog would not have been spooked and ran away. Unlikely, but possible.

Caught up in thoughts of a happier, less dark time in her existence, Colleen did not hear Brian’s soft footsteps coming up behind her, unaware and apprehensive until the crack of leather against her back brought her from her self-loathing.  Her eyes widened as the material struck her skin, her teeth briefly grinding at the sudden stinging pain. In that moment she knew just what kind of trouble she was in, and despite her best attempts to maintain some form of composure she was powerless to stop Brian’s assertion from becoming a reality.

She screamed.


	15. Chapter 15

“B-Brian, p-please stop!  I-I don’t want this...I can’t-”

Colleen’s pleas, most unfortunately for her, fell on deaf ears as Brian continued his assault with the unknown object.  With him standing directly behind her she could not see him nor it; all she could tell was it felt like several small whips digging into her back, eating at her flesh and in some instances likely drawing blood.  She cried out at each and every hit, the sharp pain unlike anything she had ever felt. Her ankles began to give out beneath her, forcing her weight to yank on the ropes binding her to the ceiling; this only served to cause her more grief as they dug into her wrists more severely.  The tears she did not believe she could continue to cry flowed freely then, spilling over her cheeks and onto her heaving bare chest as she choked and sobbed, the misery overwhelming.

Every time there was a lull in the strikes she knew it was too good to be true, as Brian would simply renew his efforts with more fervor than before.  The particularly long silence that overtook the room, then, could not bode well, yet Colleen could not even bring herself to struggle against her bonds.  Hanging there lifelessly, she wondered if maybe she shut up and gave in he would leave her be; part of her almost did not care what else he did to her as long as this would stop.  Once again, however, the period of rest was only to serve as a reminder that she could not escape her current situation, and she screamed again as the leather struck between her legs.

The pain was so unbearable she could barely think, somehow made worse by Brian stepping up next to her and cupping her swollen cunt.  “Let’s see, now,” he muttered to himself, once more indelicately shoving in a finger; this time he did not remove it, and Colleen’s eyes widened at the realization of just how easily it had gone in.  Brian chuckled. “Well now. It appears your body is one step ahead of you. Good, you’ll be easier to fuck.”

“Brian...” she croaked in weak protest, then froze as his free hand came up and affixed a thick metal collar around her neck to which he attached a sturdy length of chain.  She began to tremble again as he twisted it in his hand, yanking her slightly forward while her hips remained locked in position due to the ankle cuffs and forcing her back to arch into him.  He slid another finger inside of her, pumping them in and out roughly until her eyelids fluttered and her lips parted and a small moan escaped her. She tensed again at the realization of what she had done, mortified, but Brian only seemed amused.

“You really thought you could resist, couldn’t you?  Thought you’d never be horny after taking a flogging?  You should realize, Colleen, that all women are puppets, and all that’s left is to teach them their place.”  He slid the fingers out of her completely, still gripping the chain as he held them to her mouth. Unable to turn away or move her head at all, she had no choice but to open her mouth wider and allow him to force his fingers past her lips until she tasted herself on her tongue.  He smirked at her as she licked the digits clean, rewarding her by wiping away some of the juices that had smeared on her cheek. “That’s my girl.”

Colleen was disgusted with the situation, but more importantly, disgusted with herself.  He did have one thing right; she never would have imagined that being flogged would get her wet, or that this scenario would have that kind of effect on her at all.  It was humiliating in so many ways, and the thought of what her father would think if he knew this were happening...not to mention how hurt he would be knowing she somewhat willingly went into Brian’s home knowing what had the potential to happen when she would not sleep with Samuel.  Her stomach began to twist up in knots; she had not meant for this to happen, not like this. Not at all, really, but certainly not like this. Was a dog really worth all of this? She told herself over and over she was helping protect Benji as well as their family, yet this seemed like an awfully steep price to pay in order to avoid a fine and some hurt feelings.

She had to stop this now.

“Brian…” she rasped, her voice sounding scratchy in her throat.  He ignored her, instead pulling back the chain on her neck and pulling his phone from his pocket.  It was an odd time to take a call or send a text, she thought, but her weary eyes widened as she heard the sound of the camera app snapping a photo of her in her current exhibitionist state.  She choked and began to squirm with renewed vigor, only stopping when Brian gave the chain a sharp yank.

“Stop it,” he ordered, “and stay still.  I want to remember this moment.”

Colleen thought about bringing up his assertion that they could forget this whole night ever happened, but it seemed like a bad idea.  Her tears continued rolling down her mascara-stained cheeks even as he pocketed the device and walked over to her, reaching up to unhook the rope from the support beam.  She stumbled into him as her heels were allowed to rest on the floor, wincing as the new position dug the shackles into the spots they had cut her ankles; Brian chuckled as he reached down and unlocked those as well.

She leaned into him, unable to support her own weight on her wobbly legs with her wrists still bound, which he seemed to enjoy immensely as he allowed her to do so for several moments before picking her up by the waist and half carrying, half dragging her to the worn mattress.  Struggling at this point did not even cross her mind, and she somewhat gladly allowed herself to be thrown down onto it. The brief degree of comfort did not last, however, and soon the chain was used to drag her onto her knees in front of where he sat propped up against the wall.

Exhausted and in pain, she almost did not even notice that he had unzipped his jeans and pulled them down just enough to expose his cock and was stroking it with his free hand.  He grinned as her face fell and she began to stutter; she knew full well what was to come but no part of her wanted to; she did not even mind giving head, but the thought of succumbing to Brian made her feel sick.  He did not seem interested in waiting around, tugging harder on the chain to force her to fall into him and only stopped by her propping herself up with bound hands on his thigh.

“Suck,” he commanded, and at this point Colleen knew better than to defy him.  She scooted into a somewhat more comfortable position and leaned down, closing her eyes as her lips parted around the tip of his cock.  He inhaled sharply as she did so, groaning when she slowly slid her mouth down the shaft and seeming annoyed when she could only take a fraction of his considerable length before stopping.  He twisted her hair in his fingers, shoving her head down farther until she felt herself begin to choke. Her eyes watered and she struggled to pull back; she tried to breathe through her nose but her gag reflex was keeping her from maintaining the position.  Her body began to spasm as she tried to push away but he held her fast, even forcing her down a little farther until she made the mistake of scraping her teeth against him.

It had been an honest accident, one brought on by her inability to breathe and her fear of choking on what was a considerably sized dick.  It was enough to elicit a growl from Brian, however, and he pulled her up by her hair until she was able to look him in the eyes.

“Don’t you  _ ever _ use your teeth on me again, do you understand?”

Colleen opened your mouth to speak, to explain that it had been an accident, to tell him that it wasn’t her fault he was so big, but his eyes narrowed and he raised up a threatening hand as if poised to slap her.  Her mouth clamped shut and her eyes dropped downward, her breath trembling as he lowered his hand and grabbed her chin to force her gaze back to his. He looked livid, but the arousal was still evident in his features, and she knew she was not out of this yet.

“I  _ will  _ hurt you,” he promised; she let out a small nod, as much as his grip would allow, before he let her go and guided her back down to his erection.  She took it in her mouth again, desperately trying to relax as he bobbed her up and down and wishing she were anywhere but there but it was all in vain.  All that existed was the crushing reality that she was locked in Brian’s basement dungeon, his cock slamming into the back of her throat with every thrust, and there was no hope of leaving until he got what he wanted.  She actually prayed he would come in her mouth, knowing if he did not what that would mean for her.

Her prayers went unanswered, however, as he pulled her back with a soft groan.  Without saying a word he sat up straighter, practically throwing Colleen onto the mattress on her stomach while maintaining his grip on the chain attached to the collar that now threatened to choke her.  She pushed herself up slightly on her hands but they gave out from under her as her hips were jerked back, and she felt the tip of Brian’s cock push up against her entrance.

_ Nononono!  No! _  The alarms went off in her head even though she knew this was ultimately how this encounter would end.  There was never any other option. She began to sob again as she felt his tip inside her, trying to pull forward and away from him but he was simply too strong.  “S-stop!” she yelped, but it only made him enter her faster, one hand keeping her hips in place so he could slam into her to the hilt while the other pulled the chain back to force her back to arch and the collar to squeeze her throat.  She choked as he began to fuck her more roughly than she ever had been before; his thrusts were unrelenting as he pounded into her now raw cunt. Whatever misplaced wetness she had felt earlier seemed to disappear as he slammed into her again and again, his guttural grunts overpowering the silence of the dark room.

As his motions became faster and harder, his utterances becoming masculine growls, Colleen suddenly began to panic for a new reason: she knew there was no way he would elect to come outside of her, but she was not on birth control and he had not used a condom.  She had gone through one pregnancy scare already; how could she handle another? And how would Samuel react if she became pregnant by another man, particularly such an asshole? She began to cry harder, wanting to tell him she’d even swallow if it meant avoiding him possibly impregnating her, or that he could take whatever pictures of her he wanted.  Perhaps that would do it; he seemed to enjoy taking her picture earlier, maybe he would like more. She opened her mouth to choke out the offer when suddenly he let out a low moan and she felt his hips jerk against hers, semen spilling inside of her.

Head in her hands, Colleen felt like she was in a daze as Brian finished and pulled out; she heard the sound of the phone camera a couple more times before he flipped her onto her back, untied her wrists, and removed the collar and chain.  She could barely move, in some combination of emotional and physical shock, but found the will to stand when Brian threw her clothes at her and told her to get dressed. Everything was hazy as she pulled on the sweats, nearly falling a few times due to her impaired balance, but she did so quickly under Brian’s harsh glare.  He had gotten what he wanted; apparently he was done with her.

He dragged her by her injured wrist upstairs, all but throwing her towards the front door.  Colleen turned to him, struggling to find the words for what she wanted to ask.

“Benji?” she whispered.

Brian blinked, as though he had forgotten the dog was the reason she came in the first place.  “Oh. That. That’s already been taken care of.”

Colleen furrowed her brow, wanting to ask what the hell that meant, but suddenly she had been pushed out onto the stoop and the door slammed in her face.  The cold night air nipped at her skin; she wrapped her hands up in the sleeves of the sweatshirt, turning to leave with the knowledge that maybe, just maybe he was true to his word and had already found Benji a good home before he called her over.  He had to know she would come, so that made some degree of sense. Brian was an egotistical Type A creep, but surely he wasn’t a monster.

As Colleen walked past the trash bins something odd caught her eye; without warning, she suddenly began to cry uncontrollably.  She had been wrong.

Hanging limply from a hole in one of the trashbags was, unmistakably, a lifeless furry paw.

She had been so wrong.

 

“Where were you last night?”

Samuel had not meant for his tone to be so harsh, not really, but he supposed bringing out the father in him was not the worst idea.  Naturally he had noticed when Colleen disappeared from the house for a couple of hours, her bedroom door wide open but nowhere to be found.  He had worried, of course, and considered calling her cell on more than one occasion but decided that she was an adult and she could take care of herself.

Well, mostly.  He had actually almost reached his breaking point a little after midnight, fumbling with his own phone and his finger poised over her contact entry when he heard her slip back inside.  She did not see him, passing by the living room where he sat on the couch without so much as a glance in his direction. For that he was grateful; he was too exhausted to deal with her.

The next morning, however, was a different story, and he quickly began interrogating her as she sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal.  She balked when he asked what he thought was a very simple question; part of him wondered if she was sneaking around sleeping with Danny again.

“Just...out…” she mumbled, swirling her spoon around in her bowl without taking a bite.  Samuel frowned, leaning forward into the back of the chair where he stood across from her, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Colleen, you have to work with me here.  I’m just trying to make sure you’re safe.”

She blanched quite inexplicably yet said nothing, pulling her sweatshirt tighter around her body.  No, his sweatshirt. Any other time he would have found her wearing his old clothes cute, but he was not in the mood for cute.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” he grumbled, instead walking over to Benji’s food bowl on the floor next to the island.  It was still full and the dog was nowhere in sight; Samuel considered this to be quite odd, particularly since the dog was a notorious chowhound as a growing puppy should be.  He whistled and gave the bowl a good shake, hoping to coax the dog out from his hiding place. “Benji! C’mere boy!” No response. No thundering of paws down the stairs, No clicking of tiny nails down the hallway.  He shook the bowl again. “Benji! Where is that dog...”

It was on his next whistle that Colleen suddenly slammed her fist down on the table, sending bits of toasted cereal flying.  Samuel stood, about to chide her for her outburst and the mess she would have to make sure the dog did not eat when she suddenly began to cry.  Perplexed, he blinked and stared over at her as she wiped her eyes on the frayed corners of the sweatshirt.

“B-Benji’s gone!” she blurted, inhaling sharply as if the simple statement caused her a great deal of pain.  He turned towards her, eyes narrowing as he tried to comprehend the meaning of her statement.

“What do you mean, he’s gone?”

She gaped at him as though trying to determine what to say next.  Finally she gulped, looking down at her bowl in a refusal to meet his eyes.  “He got out. I-I tried to get him back- that’s why I-I was o-out, but I c….I couldn’t…”

Colleen’s sobs only increased in magnitude and volume, and she put her face in her hands as her shoulders jerked with every wail.  Samuel’s jaw dropped; he could not believe what he was hearing. How the hell could she have been so careless? He had taken a great risk in bringing the dog here in the first place, knowing she needed companionship, and she accidentally let it lose?  Knowing the town adhered to its strict “no dogs allowed” policy, he could not bring himself to imagine what would happen to Benji if found. He would be shipped off to some unsanitary cruel pound miles away- or worse.

He had to choose his next words carefully, but the restraint to do so was completely lost.  She would never be the beautiful, vivacious grown woman he thought she had in her; she would always be the helpless child who never went to college and would never amount to anything.  Looking at her now sobbing into her breakfast he found her all the more pathetic.

“Why did I even trust you with him?” he snapped, the tension finally boiling over.  “I should have known you weren’t ready for the simple responsibility of caring for a puppy- you can’t even take care of yourself!  God, I- I really thought you had changed. I thought bringing you here would do something, would- would  _ fix  _ you.  But that’s just it, isn’t it Colleen?  You don’t even  _ want _ to be fixed!”

Colleen’s eyes went wide at his tirade, wiping at them furiously in an effort to regain enough composure to speak.  “T-that’s not…I do w-want…” she sputtered, but Samuel shook his head in disbelief.

“You didn’t want to come here in the first place.  You made that abundantly clear. Perhaps if you had actually gone to college, if you actually had a job and were capable of supporting yourself- but you’re not.  Christ Colleen, you’re almost twenty-one years old and you are completely dependent on me! And you didn’t, you never wanted to get help, you never wanted to get better, and you never wanted...never wanted  _ me _ …”

That last point made her choke, and ugly sound deep in her throat that would have made him wince had he not been so riled up.  He clenched his jaw as he watched her inability to find something to do or say, looking completely downtrodden as though his words had stung.  He sighed and looked at his watch, standing up a little straighter.

“I need to get to work.  Do something useful and get the dishes and laundry done while I’m out.”

He grabbed his bag and headed for the front door without a second thought, not even as he heard Colleen’s timid voice echo down the hallway.

“I’m sorry!”

 

“I’m sorry,” Colleen mumbled quietly as she heard the door slam shut.  She wiped at her cheeks, suddenly feeling very confined in her father’s sweatshirt.  She ripped it off and tossed it to the floor, shivering a bit as the cool air hit her bare shoulders in the tank top underneath.  She had only worn the oversized sweatshirt to hide the marks on her wrists, and as she looked at them now she wondered if perhaps she should have been honest with Samuel.

A ginger fingertip to one of the rope burns revealed that it still stung, and badly at that.  Thoughts of the previous night with Brian came flooding back and she put her hand to her mouth as she started to cry again, made worse when she remembered Benji’s limp paw in the trash pile.  She tried to shake off the tears, the feeling of bile rising in her throat, but she was crying too hard. She needed to relax, and she needed to relax fast.

But how could she after all those things Samuel had said to her?  Had he made these comments six months ago she would have yelled back at him, she knew, yet today she felt completely defenseless.  Every word he spat at her seemed to burrow beneath her skin, making her feel worthless and utterly unworthy of his affections; she began to wonder if he even had any affection left to give.  This was not just about her fuck-up in losing Benji; it went so much deeper than that.

She had tried, or so she thought, to behave, but around the holidays that the town didn’t even celebrate Liam stopped having time for their sessions and she had nowhere else to turn.  Her father’s behavior seemed all over the place and not at all like his normal dorky self; she knew she would give anything to have that version of him back. That was the man she wanted to spend her days and nights with, and the man that she, were she being perfectly honest, would sleep with.  But this...this was not her father. She refused to accept him as such.

She did not blame him, of course; she blamed this place, this town.  Something in him had changed the moment they arrived, and while she did not understand what it was or why she knew it was not for the better.  She did not know how to broach the subject, however, when every interaction as of late seemed to turn into a very one-sided argument. There was nothing she could do.  She felt trapped.

Colleen shook her head, the tears subsiding.  She was not going to sit here and be the victim.  She did not think she could handle it emotionally; it simply was not good for her mental health.  Something had to be done. Something drastic. The thought terrified her, but there was simply no other way.

 

It had been a productive day.  Liam’s insistence that the ledgers were fine as long as they came out ahead did not sit well with Samuel, who liked his numbers to be neat and tidy when everything else in his life was not, but there was no arguing with the man holding the self-appointed title of The First and the leader of the town.  Samuel let out a heavy sigh as he reached the front door to his home, already feeling exhausted even though he had yet to confront his daughter. He had been so tempted to bring up his personal problems to Liam at the office, and Liam did indeed seem to suspect something was wrong, but that was not the time nor the place.  It would have to wait.

As he stepped into the foyer and took off his coat, Samuel hoped beyond hope that Colleen had actually listened to him and done some chores.  He did not feel like doing them after such a long day; moreover, it was not as though she had anything else to do. She had to start pulling her weight.

A quick glance in the kitchen had his blood boiling.  Not only had she not done the dishes, she had left her cereal bowl still filled to the brim with milk on the table.  He groaned and dumped it into the sink, letting the dishes fall into the basin with an audible clatter. This was not a good start.

“Colleen!” he barked, pacing around the first floor in an attempt to locate her.  She was nowhere to be found in any of the rooms; he thundered up the stairs and made a beeline for her bedroom where the door was surprisingly ajar.  He poked his head inside and could not find here there, either. “Colleen!” he shouted again with an exasperated growl. He was running out of possible hiding places; perhaps she had gone out in an attempt to dodge responsibility.  He hoped not, but it was entirely possible.

A quick stop in his bedroom to change out of his work clothes had him considering just how upset this made him.  Did she really think ditching was the best idea given the circumstances and their earlier conversation? She truly was a child, and one he seemed to have no hopes of reining in.  He tossed aside his button-down and went to remove the white undershirt when something on his nightstand caught his eye. He usually kept nothing on there except the lamp, alarm clock, and his phone, so the appearance of what looked like a folded up piece of paper was certainly odd.

Samuel picked it up and unfolded it, taken aback by how blank it was.  It was supposed to be a note, or so he guessed, starting with the word “Dad” and followed by a trail of tears to the center of the paper where it ended in a single word scrawled in Colleen’s handwriting.  A word that made his heart clench and anxiety begin to rise in his chest. A word that could have so many meanings ranging from bad to the worst possible outcome. A word he hoped he would never hear her say.

_ Goodbye _ .

Panic could not begin to describe the feeling swelling within Samuel at that moment, his breathing becoming ragged and droplets of sweat beginning to form on his skin.  What did she mean, goodbye? Where could she have possibly gone? The town was not that large to begin with, and it was not like she had a friendly place to crash, so where could she be?  The thought crossed his mind that perhaps she had attempted to leave town, which in his eyes would have been more than foolish considering her inability to drive and the frequent chance of snow.  No, he did not think she would be so stupid. But perhaps…

Samuel began to choke back tears as yet another possibility entered his mind.  It was one that he had not allowed himself to consider before, but the abrupt nature of Colleen’s absence and lack of explanation in the note had him overwhelmingly concerned.  He suddenly ran from his bedroom down the hall to her bathroom, flinging the door open and half expecting to find her in the tub as blood dripped onto the floor; he heaved a sigh of relief when he found the tub and bathroom empty, but she was still missing.  She may have chosen somewhere else to do  _ it _ where he would not catch her and could not stop her.

Had she been hurting so badly?  His first instinct told him no, of course not; they may have had a few disagreements as of late, but surely nothing so bad as to convince her to do something so drastic.  He thought back to their morning conversation and felt the tears move closer to the surface; he had been rather nasty, hadn’t he? He had been downright cruel to her, and considering she had nowhere else to turn, it was not a far leap to think she might have seen the only option as…

Samuel shook his head.  No, he would not allow himself to think like that.  He pulled out his cell and dialed her hastily, rubbing his temple when it went straight to voicemail.  Perhaps it was a fluke; she would not have turned off her phone. But when a second, third, and even fourth time yielded the same results, he had half a mind to throw the device across the room.  His eyes had now blurred with tears, hair sticking haphazardly to his damp sweaty forehead. He could hear his breaths, short and shallow, becoming more haggard by the second. This was not okay. He had to do something.  He had to find her.

Shaking his head as if to shake off his misery, Samuel’s trembling hand fumbled with his phone again.  He dialed the only person he could think of who would be able to help, who knew the town better than anyone, who would be able to keep a calm demeanor despite all of this.  The phone rang three times as he tapped his foot impatiently, sighing and standing up straighter when the person on the other end finally answered.

“Mr. Bell?  Did you forget something at the office?”

Samuel balked at the sound of Liam’s voice; he could feel the wetness trapped between his phone and his cheek as the tears began to flow.  There were so many things he wanted to say, that he wanted to confess, that he was unsure what should come out of his mouth. He gulped as he wiped at his eyes, leaning against the bathroom wall.

“Mr. Bell?”

“She’s gone,” he blurted suddenly, choking on the words.  “Colleen- she- I can’t find her anywhere.”

“Have you tried calling her?”

“Of course I have!” he snapped.  “Sorry- sorry, I just- I’m really worried, we...we had a fight, and…”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, during which Samuel imagined Liam was pursing his lips in that contemplative way he did.  Finally he sighed heavily into the receiver, where it met Samuel’s ear with the sensation that perhaps this had been a bad idea.

“What exactly do you want me to do, Mr. Bell?”

“Well, you’re- you’re in charge, can’t you...can’t you get some people together, w-we can search around, and-”

“It is almost nightfall,” Liam interrupted tersely.  “You won’t find much once it gets dark.”

The thought of Colleen being alone overnight filled him with dread, particularly when she could be anywhere.  The nagging voice in his mind returned, the one that told him that he should tell Liam his true worry, the one she wouldn’t come back from, but he refrained.  He knew it sounded stupid, and Liam already seemed upset he had called in the first place.

“But, I- you have to do  _ something _ -”

“I do not have to do anything, Mr. Bell.  If Colleen has made the choice to run away, that is her doing.  She needs to learn from this, and, if I am understanding you correctly, so do you.”

Samuel wiped at his eyes again.  He could not believe this; Liam had always been so kind, so caring towards him, and now this?  This was inexplicable. He opened his mouth to speak again, to insist something be done, when Liam cut him off.

“If you have not found her by tomorrow afternoon, I will call for assistance.  Is that reasonable?”

Every bit of Samuel’s mind screamed a resounding  _ No! _ but he nodded solemnly, then remembered he was on the phone.  “I...I guess. Yes”

“Until then.  And Mr. Bell? Try to get some rest.”

With that the phone clicked off and Samuel was left to contemplate all of the possible scenarios in which the next eighteen hours could go horribly wrong.


	16. Chapter 16

_ This was a bad idea _ .

The thought crossed Colleen’s mind on more than one occasion, drowning out her ability to silence her anxiety and think rationally about the situation.  She felt as though she continually had to fight back her tears and, quite frankly, she was running out of the strength to do so. This could have been planned much, much better.

She honestly did not give her actions much thought beyond the end goal of being anywhere but home.  In a rush she had thrown on warmer clothing and left the house, not even bothering to put away her breakfast; she tried to write her father a note, to explain exactly why she could not stay there any longer, but she could not find the words.  She hoped he would understand, maybe even feel remorse, but a large part of her doubted he was even capable of feeling it towards her.

_ He hates me _ , she thought bitterly as she took another step crunching twigs and long dead leaves beneath her feet.   _ He probably isn’t even going to look for me _ .  She prayed it was not true, in part because despite everything he had said and done to her, she longed to see him again.  It had barely been twenty-four hours since she departed and already she wanted nothing more than to be held in his arms. She felt disgusted with herself; some resolve she had.

But, more importantly, she was lost.

Entering the woods that surrounded a large portion of the village had been done largely on a whim, a desire to get away from everyone but keep off of the main road in case someone saw and brought her back.  In retrospect, her little hike had been a stupid, misguided adventure, but it was turning into a dangerous one. She truly could not find her way back.

Spending the night curled up against a large tree had been terrifying at best, as she had not brought a flashlight and turned off her phone to conserve what little battery she had left.  It got cold, far colder than she realized it would, but she had not exactly planned on staying overnight; she was sure she would find her way out and manage to hitchhike to a nearby town with food, shelter, and running water.  She shuddered at the reminder of just how hungry she was, having eaten the sandwich and snacks she brought the previous day. Had she been thinking more clearly she would have rationed, but she did not seem to be making intelligent decisions lately.

She was lucky she hadn’t been eaten by some sort of wild dog.

Colleen sighed and blew some of the hair from her face with a pout.  She supposed she could try to call for help, but last she checked her battery levels were in the single digits and she had absolutely no landmarks to go off of.  No, she didn’t need help. Not yet. She just needed to go a little farther; the woods had to end somewhere, didn’t they?

Suddenly her foot gave out from under her as she came into contact with a steep hill that appeared without warning.  Slipping and wrenching her leg as she did so, she grabbed at anything and nothing on her way down the good ten feet while praying she would not sustain any serious injury. She landed with a  _ thud _ at the bottom and, covered in more than a few scratches, seemed no worse for the wear until she attempted to stand back up and her ankle gave out from under her.

_ Fuck _ , she thought with a groan.  Lost in the woods with little cell reception or battery, no map, no idea if she was even near an exit, and now she could not walk.  Definitely not planned well indeed.

The reality of it all began to set in as she looked around the clearing she sat in; she could die out here.  All she wanted to do was prove a point to her father, but she could actually die. She tried taking deep, even breaths to keep from hyperventilating, but all of her efforts were for nothing as she looked more carefully at where she had landed.

She was in a clearing, yes, but the rocks within it weren’t scattered randomly; they were placed in a circle around what appeared to be a large stone slab that had all manner of carvings in it.  Colleen paled as she looked closer, eyes widening as she noticed the dried brownish spots covering many of the markings. Blood?

Oh  _ fuck _ , it looked like blood.

What the hell had she stumbled upon?

She always thought the town was just a little too perfect, a little too creepy, but this?  This was levels beyond that. Her heart hammered in her chest; she had to get out of here. She had to get out of here  _ now _ .

Shakily she powered on her phone, trying not to cry when she realized just how little juice it had.   _ Quickly, now _ , she told herself.   _ You can do this _ .  Eyes brimming with tears, she took a deep breath and dialed her father.

It barely rang once before he answered.

“Colleen!  Thank God! What- where are you?  Please, tell me you’re okay! Colleen?”

“Da- Dad I’m fine,” she choked out, putting her head in her hand as she started to cry at the sound of his voice.  “I- look, I don’t have a lot of battery, a-and I’ve twisted my ankle, I can’t-”

“Where are you?  I’ll come get you, right away.  Oh, Christ, Colleen...”

Colleen shook her head, knowing full well he couldn’t see it.  “I’m- I’m in the woods.” She heard Samuel start to interrupt with more questions and quickly cut him off.  “Look, I’m near some- some sort of stone altar...thing. Maybe someone in town knows where it is. Dad, please, I don’t have a lot of bat-”

When Samuel’s voice abruptly cut off as her phone died with a final solemn beep, Colleen hugged her knees to her chest and began to sob.

 

Samuel had never made a phone call so quickly.  He dialed Liam the second Colleen’s phone cut out, trembling with a combination of relief and fear.  Her phone had died, so she would be that much harder to find, but she was alive and well. Mostly well, at least, but a twisted ankle was nothing compared to what could have happened.

He told Liam exactly what she had told him about the stone altar, not even bothering to think of the implications of its existence or the fact that Liam knew exactly what he was talking about.  Liam informed him very calmly that he would gather men of the town to go in and bring her out, and to meet them at a hiking trail starting point in the forest to the east of the town. Samuel got dressed as quickly as possible after that and nearly ran over to the designated point, arriving winded and before too many people had made their way to the area.

_ What the hell was she thinking? _ He put his hands on his knees, trying to regain his breath.   _ She could have died! _  The thought made him physically ill so he tried to ignore it; after all, she was okay, and they were going to get her out.  His beloved Colleen was okay.  _ She’s okay _ .

It was then he made a vow to himself to never treat her so poorly again that she would even think of running away.  He cared for her above all else; how had things even gotten so badly? Yes, it had been her fault for acting the way she did and upsetting him, but he could have taken it better.  He could have used the journal more, or talked to Liam. He did not have to take it out on her like he had. He needed to be a better father. A better person.

A hand on his shoulder made him finally stand straight.  Liam greeted him with what passed for a smile with the man, his stoicism never fading.  Samuel gulped down air and nodded. “We...we’re going to go get her?”

Liam shook his head.  “ _ They _ ,” he pointed to a group of four men who looked ready to receive orders, “are going to go get her.  Just stay here, Mr. Bell, she’ll be returned to you shortly.”

Samuel nodded again, grabbing at the stitch in his side.  Making a note that he needed to exercise more, he sat down on the nearby bench and watched as the men entered the trail, walking casually and chatting as though this was a routine event.  It annoyed him on some level; he wanted them to be as worried as he was, and to move much, much quicker. He knew they did not have the same level of interest in Colleen’s well-being as he did, but surely Liam had impressed upon them the seriousness of the incident.

It was serious, after all, at least to him.  She had been crying on the phone, and undoubtedly was terrified after spending the night alone in the woods.  He wanted her-  _ needed _ her back safe in his arms.  He could not wait much longer.

“You never did tell me what caused this,” he heard Liam say casually next to him.  He sighed, putting his head in his hands.

“A lot has happened.  I...I meant to tell you about it, I just...I thought I could handle it.”

“I think you need to start seeing me again, Mr. Bell,” he suggested, “at least until whatever  _ this _ is gets resolved.”

Samuel nodded, exhaling slowly.  “I’ll make an appointment.”

“Good.”

Samuel opened his mouth again to speak but the sound of voices coming back down the trail made him look up.  Had they really found her so quickly? Was she not that lost? His heart began to beat faster as the shapes came into view: Carl, Bryce, Brian, and coming up the rear, Danny, carrying an exhausted looking Colleen.

“Oh, God,” he muttered when he saw the state she was in.  Small scratches all over her face and hands, and one big gash on her swollen ankle.  He moved to bolt from his seat but Liam placed a hand in front of him to keep him still.  He waited for Danny to bring her to him, and as she was set down on the bench next to him he threw his arms around her.

“Dad,” she mumbled into his shoulder, carefully reaching up and returning his embrace.  He buried his face in her neck, desperately trying not to cry.

“Colleen, I- you have no idea how worried I was!  And when I saw your note, I thought- oh God, I can’t tell you what I thought.  I’m so glad you’re okay, I- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I swear it will never happen again.”

Colleen had already started crying again, fat teardrops running down her cheeks as Samuel pulled back to look at her.  She wore a half smile tarnished by the ugly sobs that shook her body. “P-promise?” she managed to cough out.

Samuel smiled at her and took her cold hands in his.  Words could not adequately express the oath to her he swore then, his determination to be the best father and lover he could be.  He was never going to lose her; that was a fact. That was his pledge.

“Promise.”

 

A week or so had passed since Colleen’s outdoor adventure, and she could not have been happier with how things had progressed.  Samuel had returned to his old doting self, though cranked into overdrive due to his concern for her twisted ankle. He brought her meals and whatever she wanted when she requested it, ensuring to keep his phone on his person in case she needed to text him for something, and did his best to keep her comfortable and entertained.  He insisted he sit next to her on the couch rather than eat dinner in the kitchen so that they could share the meal together; about the only thing she would not allow was for him to bathe her, and that was only because she did not want him seeing her scars and bruises from Brian. She had not figured out how to explain that way, so she’d taken to wearing long sleeved pajama sets around the house.  Fortunately the air was still cool enough to justify such a fashion choice, and her father seemed none the wiser.

She was able to get around mostly on her own by this point, something for which she was grateful.  She loved the attention, possibly even a little too much, but some part of her still valued her independence in simple things like moving from room to room.  Samuel seemed a bit hurt when this became apparent, but she told herself she could not be dependent on him for everything. At least, she would try not to be.

The only thing still bugging her was the existence of the altar and stone formation in the woods.  She asked about it directly but Liam waved off her concerns as thought they were nothing, explaining that it was used for ceremonies and theater productions; the carvings were done by children during school events, and the blood was actually dried paint that had spilled.  Colleen was not sure she believed him; it seemed too convenient of an explanation, but Samuel shrugged it off so she had to as well. She just really hoped they weren’t being misled.

Everything at home, on the other hand, was going smoothly until a fateful date came and almost went.  Colleen was so sure her father would do something special, pull out all the stops as it were, but it seemed like he honestly did not even remember.  How could he possibly forget? Twenty years had passed and he’d never forgotten, not once, so why would he start now?

As the day passed, her anxiety began to rise.  When should she say something? Should she say something at all?  It was eating her up inside and it hurt, it hurt badly, but it seemed like nothing compared to the pain she felt after she’d gone upstairs shortly after a sadly uneventful dinner.

Colleen had not heard the doorbell ring, but when she heard Samuel’s voice in the foyer she was naturally curious.  She hobbled down the stairs and went to see who it was, surprised to find a tall, gorgeous, blonde woman slightly younger than her father standing in the doorway.  Colleen could not place if she had seen the woman before, but she did not like the sight of her, nor how her father was smiling and laughing jovially. Uneasy, she turned around before they could see her and headed into the living room.

Who the hell was she?  Why was she at their house?  Why did she have to be so beautiful?  Why did it seem like her father noticed that fact?

It seemed like an eternity before the door finally closed; Colleen could no longer hear voices, so she presumed the woman left.  Samuel took several moments busying himself in the other room before she could hear his footsteps on the tile of the hallway.

“Who was that?” she asked when he came back into view.  Perched on the sofa, she tried to look nonchalant despite the jealousy that threatened to boil over inside her.  She fiddled with the fabric of her pajamas, but the comfort found in the adorable pink owls on the navy blue background was short-lived.  She wanted to know who this woman was, and she wanted to know now.

“That?” Samuel responded, as casually as if she had inquired about the weather.  “Oh, just someone that works in the office with me.”

Colleen's mouth formed a little  _ oh _ , but she did not feel convinced that was the whole story.  They never got house calls, so for a beautiful woman to suddenly appear on their doorstep was suspicious to say the least.  With how often she and her father had been fighting as of late, and with how late he had been routinely staying at the office, she couldn't be surprised if he had sought companionship with another.  She couldn't be surprised, but it still stung.

“What did she want?” she tried to ask innocently, tucking some hair behind her ear.  Samuel sighed and sat on the couch next to her.

“I apparently left some notes at work today and she thought I might like to have them.  I daresay your father is getting a bit, ah, forgetful in his old age.” He smiled and put a hand on her thigh,  but she was not buying it. It was too convenient.

“Couldn't it have waited til tomorrow?  Or couldn't she have called you and had you come get them?  She didn't have to come all the way here…”

“I'm sure it was no trouble, she lives nearby.”

Colleen's stomach tensed.  He knew where she lived? That meant he'd probably been to her house, and that knowledge led down all sorts of other paths that she did not wish to consider.  She opened her mouth to say something, to ask for confirmation, but thought better of it when he settled into the couch and turned on the television. Beyond frustrated, she only half noted the title of the forensic drama he had flipped to and instead tried to focus on keeping the tears from coming.

“She’s pretty,” she finally said quietly, staring at the television without watching it.  She fully expected her father not to even respond; he had never been able to properly express attraction to the opposite sex, even where she was concerned.  His response, however, made her heart sink.

“Yes, she is,” he replied, his near monotone and glossy eyes making her question if he was really even listening.  She felt the tears start to form despite her best efforts, the knowledge that this day was not supposed to be like this clawing at her mind.  How could he, after everything they had been through?

Colleen’s sobs did not have to get very loud for them to be noticeable, and soon Samuel glanced over to find her weeping freely into the sleeves of her pajamas.  Startled, he flipped off the television and turned to face her, a concerned hand placed awkwardly upon her leg.

“Colleen, honey!  What’s wrong?” She continued to cry even as he asked, unable to stop the steady flow of tears streaming down her face.  “Is it something I said? Is- is it about Ashley?”

Hearing the woman’s name gave her humanity, something that Colleen did not want when it was easier to think of her as this threatening creature.  She began to bawl harder, desperately trying to take deep breaths and calm herself as Samuel tried unsuccessfully to placate her with soothing words and the rubbing of her thigh and back.  She felt immensely intimidated by Ashley, yes, but she could not tell him that. She could not admit her jealousy when there was something bothering her far more at the moment.

“D-Dad,” she finally managed to sputter out, “what day is it?”

Samuel furrowed his brow.  “Ah, Thursday?”

Colleen shook her head, wiping at her eyes and not meeting his gaze.  “No, the  _ date _ .”

He continued to look perplexed, having to think about it for a moment.  “It’s- well, it’s March six-”

Suddenly his eyes went very wide; his jaw dropped at the realization of what he was about to say.  He made an ugly choking noise, unable at first to find the words to express what he had to be feeling in that moment.  Colleen had finally calmed down enough to look at him, the sadness in her eyes made all the worse by its reflection in her smile.

“Oh God, Colleen, I am- I am so sorry…”

He reached out to stroke her cheek but she turned away with a small hiccup.  “Bet you wouldn’t forget Ashley’s birthday,” she muttered as she stood, stalking out of the living room without knowing where she was going.  She stepped slowly through the house, unable to decide on a good place to mope, when she finally heard Samuel sigh and get up off the couch. Looking around, she realized she had made her way into the kitchen, and seeing the bottles of alcohol neatly arranged in the cabinet for the first time in her life seemed oh so tempting.  She was now twenty-one, after all.

“Colleen,” Samuel said sternly as he entered the kitchen.  She did not turn to face him, instead staring at the backsplash above the sink until she felt him come up behind her and pull her into a tight embrace.  The crying resumed as he wrapped his arms around her chest and torso and pulled her in close. “I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered into her ear, pausing to kiss her temple.  “There has just been so much going on lately, and it- a lot has been slipping my mind, and I know that is no excuse but...I will do anything,  _ anything _ I can to make it up to you.  Just ask.  _ Please _ .”

Colleen did not doubt he meant it; she could ask for the moon and he would try his damndest to yank it from the sky and give it to her.  She could ask for jewelry, money, clothes, a fancy dinner, anything at all and she knew he would deliver. But there was only one thing she wanted, and a small but very real part of her was afraid he would be unable to give it to her.

“Tell me you love me,” she blurted out, inhaling sharply as she said it.  She felt Samuel get very still behind her; her face scrunched up in preparation to cry again at his lack of response.  Had he really been that upset with her that he couldn’t even say it? Could he even  _ think  _ it?  She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she found herself woefully unprepared for his response, a nervous chuckle that did not fit the mood of the moment in the slightest.  Her heart sank.

“Colleen, I, er, I don’t...do you think I don’t?”  When she did not reply, she felt his arms loosen around her.  “Why would you ever think that I don’t-” He paused, then chuckled again.  “Is this about Ashley? Oh- oh, honey…”

Colleen did not appreciate his laughter, not even a tiny bit; she jerked forward in an attempt to break away from his grip, but his arms caught her almost instantly and pulled her back with a soft thud against his chest.  He held her fast, tighter than he had before, and she could feel him bury his face in her hair with a sigh as she choked back tears.

“Sweetheart, you know that you have been the sole object of my affections for several years now, even if I was able to express it only recently.  That has not-  _ will not _ change.  Not now, not ever.  I can’t believe you’d even-” He exhaled slowly, shakily, and she felt his breath on her ear.  Abruptly he grabbed her by the arms and turned her to face him, staring down at her tear-stained face with a look of adamant adoration.  “I love you, Colleen,” he said firmly, his grip on her arms becoming almost painfully tight, “and I will love you until the stars die out.”

Colleen bit her lip to keep it from trembling; with Samuel holding her in place all she could do was nod.  He smiled down at her and leaned in to plant an affectionate kiss on her forehead, and though his lips lingered longer than necessary she found herself craving just a few moments more.  When he pulled back and they locked eyes the smile she returned was almost genuine.

“I love you too, Dad,” she croaked, voice barely above a whisper.

He appeared pleased, reaching up to wipe away her lingering tears with his thumb.  She sniffled but her smile began to grow wider, and as he tucked her hair behind her ear she felt that familiar surge of warmth in her chest that told her that, no matter what had happened in the past, everything was going to be okay.  She had her father and he loved her, and everything would be fine.

“Well, then,” Samuel said through a far more relaxed grin, “what say you I make us some tea?”

 

_ Fuck _ .

The word ran through Samuel’s mind over and over, though not with the definition he would prefer.  He had fucked up, and royally at that- how could he have forgotten Colleen’s birthday? He had checked his phone when she stepped out of the room to confirm that it was in fact the correct date, and his phone did not lie; he almost missed it entirely.  Why had she waited so long to say something? Had Ashley not come by and upset her, would she have said anything at all or waited for him to realize his mistake?

Ashley- that was another thing.  He could not believe it crossed her mind in the slightest that he would ever consider having an affair.  Yes, things had been strained between the two of them as of late; he had spent more time than usual at the office where he ran into Ashley, Liam’s office manager, quite frequently, and yes, she was an attractive woman.  But he would never- could never do that to Colleen, even when she seemingly upset him beyond repair. He was not lying when he said he only had eyes for her, and he truly did love her beyond his capacity to confess it.

Seeing her hurting made the decision to add the mystery substance to her tea an easy one.  He hated when she was upset, and when combined with a desire to be physically close to her to squash any thought of infidelity it meant he did not feel the slightest bit guilty about drugging her on her birthday.  Were he being honest with himself, which was not often these days, he had been waiting for the next opportunity to try it for quite some time.

He was nervous, yes, particularly after their last near intimate encounter ended in abject failure.  He refused to give up, however, and Colleen’s desire for emotional reassurance plus the drug were sure to make for an interesting evening.  Much to his surprise, she agreed when he asked her somewhat awkwardly if she would like to sleep in his bed that night. It was not something they had done for a very long time, and never when Samuel had anything but innocent thoughts about her being there.  He felt practically giddy as he climbed the stairs knowing who was waiting for him in his bedroom.

Colleen had already climbed into his bed, on the right side as she remembered he preferred the left.   _ Good girl _ , he thought, though in truth he did not care where she was concerned and wanted her there in any capacity.  Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be drifting in and out, kicking off the covers so she could be cooler.  Why she wore long pajamas knowing how she liked to sleep cold was beyond him, but he had to admit she looked adorable sprawled out as she was.  But he did not want her to sleep.

Samuel had spent the last twenty minutes debating how to best approach the situation, deciding eventually on a course of action that would hopefully not upset her.  He stripped down to his undershirt and boxer briefs, pausing occasionally to see if the noise or movement woke his sleeping daughter. He smiled when it did not; she was quite the heavy sleeper, after all.  That was good.

He slowly climbed onto the foot of the bed, sliding his hands across the sheets in an attempt to make as little of a disturbance as possible.  Colleen did not move even as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her pajama bottoms and underwear and slowly pulled both items over her hips.  He hesitated as she twitched a few times, but he was able to remove the clothing without incident. In the dark he almost did not notice the cuts on both her ankles; he did not realize she hurt herself that badly in the woods and made a mental note to bandage them when they were finished.

Planting a trail of gentle kisses up her calf and her inner thigh, Samuel could feel himself harden just due to the smell of her as he neared her cunt.  He gulped as his nose brushed her labia, reaching up to push her thighs apart just enough for sufficient access. She still did not stir, but he surmised it would not be long before she did.

Face pressed between her legs, Samuel let out a low groan as he dipped his tongue inside of her, delighting in tasting her once again.  He felt her body jerk slightly but she still said nothing; he grabbed both of her hips and plunged in deeper, eagerly eating her out as his cock hardened and he began to subconsciously grind against the mattress.  As his nails dug into her skin and his tongue flicked over her clit, he suddenly heard a loud gasp from above him. Her hips bucked as she sat up, instinctively trying to scoot away, but he held them firmly in place with a growl as he repeatedly thrust his tongue into her slit.

“D-Dad!” Colleen whined, moaning loudly as his tongue circled her clit and he pushed a finger inside of her.  “W-what’re you-!”

Just when he thought she might ask him to stop she grabbed his head, fingers entwined in his hair as she began to move her hips in time with the rhythm of his fingering.  She was wet, practically dripping, and Samuel found himself wanting more than anything to feel her around his throbbing erection. He continued for a few more moments, relishing in her whimpers, but it was becoming too much.  Nerves be damned; he needed to have her.

He sat up, allowing her hand that had grabbed him to fall to her side.  She stared up at him, eyes half-lidded and practically panting as she squirmed to try and get closer to him.  As he looked down at her he palmed his length without thinking about it, knowing very much what he was requesting of her but he did not care.

“Please!” she begged; Samuel had never wanted to hear anything so much in his entire life.

He grabbed her hips and flipped her onto her stomach, casting aside his underwear as Colleen shakily got onto all fours in front of him.  He briefly thought of her birth control, the new pack they had just picked up; she had started taking it, right? Was it even effective this soon?   _ Ah, fuck it _ .  Sex now, consequences later.

Positioning himself at her entrance filled him with a thrill the likes of which he had not felt in months.  He did not know he could want someone this badly, even her, but he felt almost ready to explode with just his tip inside of her.  The whines Colleen emitted as he slowly pushed in his length reverberated through him, and he grunted as she clenched down on his cock.  He could see her fists gripping the sheets, her back arching as he used the advantage of this position to drive deeper inside her, and he gripped her hips to force himself in as far as he could manage.

Colleen’s moans were nothing short of erotic as he fucked her, and he appreciated watching her shoulders tremble as he arms fought to keep her in position.  Eventually they gave out and her face fell into the pillow; the slight change in position caused them both to groan and Samuel renewed his efforts to make his thrusts as hard as possible.  Soon her whimpers became desperate, her cries becoming begs that made his cock twitch excitedly as her cunt tightened around him. God, if she continued like this, he wasn’t going to be able to last-

With a low grunt Samuel spilled himself inside her, his growl growing louder as Colleen came around him with a wail and a shudder.  He stared down at her, panting and feeling like the most important man in the world, or at least in hers. Smiling to himself, he went to pull out as he reached down to right her shirt that had fallen towards her shoulders as a result of the thrusts, and suddenly he frowned and began to pale.

It took a moment for his eyes to fully adjust, the darkness and sweat dripping from his brow making it difficult to see, but there was no mistaking the gashes that haphazardly marked her back.  The cuts and bruises were still relatively fresh, and he thought back to the scars on her ankles and how they were too perfectly circular to be from the woods. No, someone had done this to her.  Someone had taken his precious daughter, tied her up, and hurt her.

He did not think it wise to bring up what must have been a traumatizing event to Colleen during her post-coital bliss, but he vowed to ask her the very next morning.  He was going to find out who did this to his beloved child.

And when he found out, he was going to kill them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! Remember to visit the blog for updates :)

The crunch of the cereal between Colleen’s teeth as she ate her breakfast was grating.  At almost every bite Samuel rose his coffee cup to his lips to disguise his discomfort, though in truth the bitter hot beverage had long since been consumed and he now sipped from an empty mug.  He occasionally eyed her over the rim, sensing the guilt she tried to conceal concerning her enjoyment of their intimate encounter the previous evening. At any other time he might have felt guilty too, particularly as he watched her downcast eyes rarely meet his and the way she fidgeted unnecessarily with her spoon, but he had other things on his mind.  There were questions that needed to be answered.

“Who did it, Colleen?” he finally asked, the softness in his voice for her benefit as he felt like screaming.  She glanced up at him, appearing genuinely perplexed by his question.

“Who did what?”

Samuel felt his eyelid twitch but tried to keep his composure.  “Your, ah- your scars.”

Colleen began to chew more slowly, her eyes widening.  She set down her spoon and reached for her orange juice with a trembling hand, the tremors slight but enough for him to notice as she picked up the glass and mumbled into the liquid.  “Got ‘em out in the woods-”

“Don’t  _ lie _ to me!”

He had not meant for his fist to connect with the table in such a manner, sending a few bits of cereal flying over the edge of her bowl, but the agitation boiled over inside him before he could stop it.  He was in no mood for tricks or games; someone had quite obviously taken their time in hurting that which was most important and precious to him, and he wanted to know the truth. Until then, he could not be held responsible for his actions.

Colleen winced, though he was unsure if the tears immediately welling in her eyes were for him or for the memory of the circumstances that left her marred.  She quickly wiped her eyes but said nothing, keeping her mouth firmly shut as her hands balled into fists on the table.

“Colleen,” he began, trying to contain the exasperation in his tone, “you  _ have  _ to tell me-”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” she muttered with a shake of her head.  “Don’t wanna remember.”

Samuel sighed, running a hand through the hair he swore was growing more grey every minute.  “Fine,” he said, in a tone suggesting that it was not fine at all but knowing she was far too stubborn to admit anything.  Part of him wanted to honor that plea, as whatever it was clearly had a negative impact on her psyche as well as her body, but at the moment vengeance seemed far more important.  “At least tell me  _ why _ .”

She hesitated, her shuddering limbs causing the table to shake.  The entire conversation appeared to cause her great pain, and as she opened her mouth to speak it was a slow, hesitant motion.  All of a sudden she scrunched her eyes shut and began to bawl, tears flowing freely down her cheeks and onto the sweatshirt she wore.  Her ugly hiccuping cries looked and sounded dreadful, and for a brief moment Samuel felt a pang of guilt for pushing the issue. The moment was short lived, however, as he reminded himself that he was doing this for her own good.

“B-Benji-” Colleen managed to choke out in-between sobs, covering her face with her hands.  Samuel blinked and sighed, feeling defeated. It was no help for her to bring up something unrelated.

“I fail to see how the dog has anything to do with-”

“H-he said he’d find him a good home!” she wailed, pausing to take a sip of her juice as she coughed and sputtered.  “H-he said he’d make sure y-you didn’t get in trouble w-with Liam...s-should’ve known better than to trust him again,” she muttered bitterly into her glass.

Again?  Samuel furrowed his brow as he began thinking of possible culprits.  It was obviously someone she knew, and knew well enough that she had trusted and been betrayed by them in the past.  Very few people fit that description given how rarely she left the house and how little she interacted with other townsfolk.  For a brief moment he considered Danny, but for all he did wrong the man just did not seem the type; furthermore, Colleen had allowed him to carry her out of the woods without putting up a fight, and surely she would have protested had he been the one to hurt her.

That left one and only one other person, and given what he knew of their personality he would not put it past them to have a rather sadistic streak.  He tightened his grip around the handle of the empty coffee mug and tried to determine the best way to confirm his suspicions without further upsetting his distraught daughter.  Watching her cry into her cereal bowl made him nearly physically upset, and the desire to punch the man responsible for hurting her so was nearly as strong as the love he felt for her.  He took a deep breath through his nose with the decision that the direct approach was best.

“Brian?” he asked through gritted teeth, and Colleen's wide-eyed stare and audible choke were all the confirmation he needed.  He pushed back his chair with enough force that it collided with the stools near the kitchen island and stood, fists balled at his sides.  She kept staring at him and slowly began shaking her head as he made a beeline for the front door.

“D-Dad no, please!  H-he's not worth it!”

Samuel turned to her, a powerful fire in his eyes.  “No,” he said with a hint of a growl, “but you are.”

He left her there, gaping in the kitchen, knowing full well she would begin crying again but for once he could not find it in himself to care.  Something had to be done as her father, caretaker, and dare he say partner? He was not going to let this slide. He had witnessed Brian arguing with Liam on numerous occasions about all sorts of things and never much liked him, but this was far beyond that.  This was the worst kind of betrayal, the kind there was no recovering from.

And over what, a dog?  Samuel balled his fists tighter, nails digging into his palms hard enough he wouldn't have been surprised if he drew blood.  No, that was just an excuse. He saw the way Brian looked at Colleen when they were in public, how his eyes lingered over her body and his mouth was always contorted into a disgustingly salacious grin.  He had a reputation of sleeping around with the young women of the town, but Samuel never thought he would actually go after someone unwilling. After his Colleen.

He found himself on Brian's doorstep quite suddenly, knocking before he realized what he was doing.  Several tense moments passed during which he wondered if Brian was even home, but he was not about to give up so easily.  He banged on the door again, more insistently this time, and seconds later it swung open to show a very perturbed looking Brian wearing nothing but pajama pants and a frown.  His hair was tousled and his eyes were bleary, as though Samuel's incessant knocking had woken him.

“Sam,” he said with a sigh, “do you have any idea what time-”

Ignoring him entirely, Samuel pushed past him and into the foyer.  Brian blinked and groaned at the sudden intrusion, reluctantly shutting the door behind him when it was clear Samuel was there to stay.  He met his unwelcome guest with a forced smile. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You damn well know,” Samuel snapped, unable to hide his ire any longer.  “You...Colleen, you…”

Unable to articulate the disgusting incident, he was surprised to see movement out of the corner of his eye.  Stepping carefully down the stairs were two young women he recognized as Kelly and Becky wearing matching men's button down shirts that clearly belonged to their host and nothing else.  In a former life he would have balked at seeing so much barely legal leg, but he was there for Colleen and nothing could distract him from that. He could not afford to let it.

“Brian?” one of them- Kelly? he could never tell them apart- asked innocently, though he knew their appearance in Brian's house and wearing his clothing was far from that.  Brian sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Go back to bed, girls.  I've got something I need to deal with, but I promise when I get back we can try that, ah,  _ thing _ I told you all about.  Now run along.”

Both girls’ eyes widened at the mention of this mysterious and most likely phallic thing; they locked eyes and giggled before running giddily back up the stairs.  Samuel only barely registered that they weren't wearing underwear before turning back to Brian with a glower. Brian was grinning as he watched them, and it took several moments for his eyes to meet Samuel's again.

“What?  Oh, right, you said something about Colleen?”

“You  _ hurt _ her!” Samuel hissed, fighting the urge to shout knowing there were other occupants in the house.  “You- you tied her up, a-and her back, her  _ scars _ , she-”

“Do you really think it’s going to last?”

Samuel did not appreciate the biting laughter in Brian’s tone nor the smirk plastered on his face.  He wanted nothing more than to sink his fist into the man’s perfect nose, and he delighted for a moment in the thought of the loud crunch that would result from the action.  The pleasure was short-lived, however, as the meaning of Brian’s words began to fully sink in and he found himself once again stuttering stupidly at the thought of anything disrupting the perfect life he had created for himself and Colleen.

“What...what do you mean?” he said, the defeat in his words already evident to him and apparently Brian, who chuckled and casually leaned against a wall as thought this was perfectly normal conversation.

“What do you  _ think _ I mean?  Come on old man, I mean look at you.  Do you think a beautiful girl barely in her twenties is going to want to spend all their time with a man over twice her age?  You’re not getting any younger- what’s going to happen when you hit sixty? Seventy? She still has her whole life ahead of her and you’re going to wither away, and you think she’s going to what, just sit around and take care of you?  Fuck, I wouldn’t be surprised if she hasn’t thought about looking elsewhere if she hasn’t started already.”

The anger Samuel had felt at the beginning of their encounter was slowly being drained from his body and replaced with another familiar but far more uncomfortable feeling: dread.  He did not want to admit how badly Brian’s words stung or how much they affected him at all; he needed to be stronger, for him and Colleen, yet in that moment it seemed nearly impossible.  He was not expecting the change in topic of conversation, and this was not one he wanted to have with anyone let alone Brian. He shook his head furiously, trying to shake off his self-doubt.

“No, no, I see what you’re trying to do.  I didn’t come here to talk about me, I came here because you hurt- you  _ raped _ Colleen, and I’m not going to just sit idly and let that happen.”

“Oh?” Brian chortled, crossing his arms with a smug look of superiority.  “That’s pretty bold talk from a man who  _ raped _ his own daughter.”

Samuel's face fell.  That was one area he had denied allowing his mind to go ever since the first time he enhanced Colleen's tea.  It fluttered to the surface occasionally, but he had refused to allow it to exist as even a possibility. Just because he had done things to her while she slept did not mean- and Brian did not know that because he'd never told a soul.  The only person who even knew fact of his sexual relationship with Colleen was Liam, and surely Liam would not have shared that information.

“I- I don’t, I’ve never hurt-”

“Never hurt her, sure, but I’m pretty sure slipping her a little of that drug Liam gave you is all kinds of unethical, not to mention illegal.  Tell me, did it make you feel powerful to fuck her when she couldn’t fight back?”

Samuel gaped at him.  He knew. Beyond all logical explanation Brian  _ knew _ what he had done to Colleen.  This was bad; this was beyond bad.  Brian was a tactless asshole and could tell anyone he wanted at any time.  In fact, who was to say he had not already betrayed his little secret to the two fucktoys upstairs?  How could he possibly know? Christ, this was the worst possible outcome; he had no leverage now, nothing to fight Brian with.  The bastard was going to get away with mutilating Colleen and there was nothing he could do.

“You see, you and I, we’re not that different after all.  Remember that,” Brian said with a triumphant sneer.

“You can’t- I’m going to tell Liam, a-and the whole town what you’ve done, and-” Samuel blubbered, trying to save face despite knowing that Brian had the high ground.

“Fine.  Do whatever you want, I can’t stop you.  But the moment you breathe a word to anyone I’ll tell your precious daughter exactly what you’ve been giving her.”

They were the words he had dreaded.  He could not let Colleen find out; despite her willingness to be with him, he knew she would never forgive him if she knew she had been drugged into it.  He gulped down his pride and nodded, the hands that had been balled into fists earlier now hanging limply at his sides.

“Fine,” he mumbled in defeat.  “I won't tell anyone.”

“Good,” Brian said, looking relaxed and pleased with the results of this encounter.  “Now get the fuck out of my house.”

 

Colleen was decidedly nervous when she heard Samuel enter the house and shut the door perhaps a little harder than necessary.  No good could have come from his conversation with Brian, not with the fire that had been in his eyes when he left. Yet she knew that, despite her father’s rage and best intentions, Brian could outpower him in an instant both physically and by using his position of power within the community.  There was simply no winning this one, as much as she would love to see him enter the living room with blood on his knuckles and a smug look of satisfaction.

When Samuel rounded the corner, he wore instead a look of defeat in the way his shoulders slumped, how his feet trudged slowly across the carpet, and how the lines on his face seemed deeply etched into a disgruntled expression.  It was as she feared; things had not gone well. Brian would likely never have to answer for his crimes, and she would have to deal with the knowledge that such a man was second in charge of the town in which she resided. Not only that, but he could easily do it again and it wouldn't matter.  She would live in fear for the rest of her life.

The mere thought of this made tears threaten to form; Colleen shifted uncomfortably on the couch as Samuel sat next to her and put his head in his hands with a weary sigh.  She bit her lip, unsure of what to do or say. Nothing was going to make this better, not without a miracle, and she could not bring herself to believe in them after what she had been through.

Gingerly she placed a hand on Samuel's arm only to be startled when he suddenly turned and dragged her into a crushing embrace.  He pulled her practically into his lap, one hand on the small of her back while the other entangled itself in her hair as he buried his face in her neck.  She found herself wondering what the hell Brian said, unable to move even her arms to hug him back; soon her eyes widened as she felt the wetness pooling on her shoulder and dripping down her collarbone.  This was too much, far more of a reaction than she would have expected from him. Something had transpired between him and Brian, and that something had wrecked him. She doubted he would tell her even if she asked, opting instead to clear her throat and praying her words were more soothing than they sounded.

“Hey...hey, it's okay...everything's okay…”

Samuel's grip on her only tightened; perhaps that had been the wrong thing to say.  She frowned, furiously searching her brain for something that might be appropriate given the situation, when she heard him mumbling into her shirt.

“Don't wanna lose...I  _ can't  _ lose you…”

In that moment Colleen wanted to cry too, trapped in a whirlwind sea of emotions regarding her assault and what was clearly a failed attempt to bring the man responsible to justice.  She wanted nothing more than to join Samuel in a cathartic sob session but the tears would not come. So many hours had been spent crying over herself and her pathetic existence; she simply did not have the tears left.  The only other option was to be strong for her father, and that was something that, while difficult, she was prepared to do.

She still did not know what Brian had said to him, but she did not need to.  That was the past, and the quiet blubbering into her shoulder was the present.  She needed to handle the present, and in such a way to make Samuel forget about the past even if for a few moments.  She owed it to him; she owed it to him for getting into this mess, she owed it to him for running away, and she owed it to him for everything she had ever done to upset him.

“You could never lose me,” she said softly, glad when he released her enough to pull back so she could stare up into his red puffy eyes.  He wiped at them, shaking his head as if to shake off the sadness and worry overwhelming him. With a heavy sigh he opened his mouth, not meeting her gaze with a nervous glance towards the floor.

“Colleen, I- there's something I need to tell y-”

“Shh,” she shushed him with a smile and a finger to his lips.  “Not now. We can talk later.”

An odd pained look overcame Samuel's features but she ignored it as she lowered her finger, took a deep breath, and leaned in to press her lips to his.  He gasped, nearly pulling away, but Colleen gripped a fistful of his shirt and pulled herself closer. He tasted sweet on her tongue as she pushed it into his mouth and let it stroke along his, pleased when she felt his moan and he began to return the kiss with only the faintest hint of hesitation.   _ This is what he wants _ , she reminded herself as the slight discomfort of swapping saliva with her father bubbled up in her mind.   _ He needs this _ .

But she knew it was not enough.  They could make out for hours on the couch and it would only be a temporary bandage on what was a much deeper wound.  She needed to do something to let him know she was serious, that she would never leave him. After all, he was truly all she had.

Colleen shifted her weight so she was now straddling him, hugging his hips firmly between her thighs.  She continued to kiss him, cupping his cheek and forcing her tongue deeper until he no longer hesitated and instead pushed back against her eagerly, arms wrapped around her waist.  As if with a mind of their own her hips began to grind against his, and a small groan escaped her lips as she felt his erection begin to swell against her core. He pulled back slightly, gasping for air, but she continued to kiss at his cheek, his jawline, his neck.

“C-Colleen I really think I should-”

“No talking,” she said with a nip to his earlobe, knowing full well any distraction would likely remind her of her discomfort.  She wanted to do this for him, but she needed him to shut up.

Without another word she slid off of his lap and onto the floor between his legs.  His eyes grew wide as he watched her unbuckle his belt; his mouth dropped open as she began to work the button and zipper of his pants with her teeth.  She could feel his cock twitch as she did so, inwardly pleased that the little useless life skill was having such an effect.

“Oh God,” he muttered with a sharp inhale as she removed his cock from the confines of his pants and delicately ran her fingers over it.  She took it in her fist and squeezed gently, running her palm up the length of the shaft as she watched his face begin to relax with a groan.  It still was not enough.

Samuel practically sank into the couch as Colleen let her tongue circle the tip, licking up the thick precome that had accumulated.  He shuddered when she took him in her mouth and began to suck with practiced skill; his hand found its way to the back of her head, gripping her hair once more as he gently coaxed her to take more of him.  She did not mind, as this was an activity she actually rather enjoyed with the right partner. Her father's soft grunts, the small jerks of his hips, it all made her feel like for once she was doing right by him.

She removed her hand from his cock and placed it on his thigh where his free hand gripped her fingers tightly as she relaxed her throat to take the length of him.  Her heart fluttered as he moaned her name, thrusting to meet her parted lips, and she eagerly worked him harder with her mouth and tongue. The spasms in his hips came on more suddenly and more intensely; he tugged at her hair as he groaned and it was all the incentive she needed to suck harder.

Soon his body began to stiffen, his grip on her hand becoming almost unbearably tight.  She coaxed him towards that undeniable point of ecstasy with a few swirls of her tongue, and with a sudden loud growl he spilled himself down her throat.  Colleen swallowed without hesitation, realizing only too late the effect her little spontaneous treat had on her body. She clenched her thighs shut as she licked him clean, only somewhat perturbed by the warmth radiating from between her legs, and decided that if Samuel did not notice she was not going to tell him.  She could take care of it herself, after all.

Looking up at him with a small smile, she licked her lips and laughed slightly as he shuddered.  He made remarkably quick work of righting himself and refastening his pants and belt, leaning his head back into the couch with a satisfied sigh.  Colleen felt almost giddy as she climbed back into his lap, nestling her head in the crook of his neck and wrapping an arm around him.

“You, um, said there was something you wanted to say to me?” she asked gingerly, not wanting to disrupt the mood but wanting to give him a chance to finish the thought she had interrupted.  Much to her surprise he shook his head, planting a firm kiss on her cheek as he curled his arms around her waist.

“It’s nothing, sweetheart.  Everything is perfect.”


	18. Chapter 18

The weekly service was set to start in about fifteen minutes, but Samuel had insisted Liam see him privately for a miniature session regardless.  He had been trying to go regularly but fitting into Liam’s busy schedule was nearly impossible, and in times like these when there were very important matters to discuss he would take what he could get.  He just hoped he would have Liam’s attention long enough to get his point across.

Liam sat opposite him on the other side of the desk, as usual; Samuel almost wondered if he preferred it that way on purpose, to separate himself from his clientele and maintain an aura of professionalism at all times.  It did not much bother him except for his occasional desire to break down that barrier and have truly candid conversations with the man. Samuel did not exactly have friends in town, spending a large portion of his time either buried in ledgers or in his daughter; Liam was the closest thing there was, and he knew that was more of a fantasy than anything else.  Him spilling his guts while Liam listened and provided advice did not constitute friendship, as desperate as he was for it.

“You seem more on edge than usual, Mr. Bell,” Liam began, folding his hands on the desk.  “Has something happened?”

Samuel licked his lower lip nervously, an agitated leg bouncing in his chair.  “I, er, yes, well, it’s- it’s about Colleen.”

“Of course it is,” Liam said with a smile, but it was far from patronizing.  The First, as Samuel had come to know him over time, seemed to exude this calm kindness that was rare these days and even more so by those in positions of power.  Samuel had no complaints about this man or the way he operated things, and quite frankly he wished more people would be like him. Especially Brian.

He opened his mouth to tell him everything, to confess Brian’s sin and more, then hung his head upon remembering the agreement he made to save his own ass.  He would have to be very careful in what he chose to divulge, but something was troubling him enough that he felt he needed to take a risk.

“Remember the, uh, stuff you gave me?  To help calm her down?”

“Oh!  Yes, of course.  Do you need more?”  Liam began to open one of his desk drawers but Samuel quickly shook his head.

“No, no, I’ve...still got some, but I- I recently found out that, um, you and I, we’re not the only ones who know you gave it to me.  S-someone else knows that I’ve got it, and h-how I’m using it, a-and-”

“I presume you’re talking about Brian,” Liam interrupted bluntly; Samuel nodded, only somewhat surprised he was able to make the connection so quickly.  Liam sighed and rubbed his temples, taking a sip of water from a glass on his desk before slowly continuing. “What I neglected to tell you, and this is my fault and mine entirely, is that The Second is traditionally privy to the same information about candidate backgrounds and treatments as I am.  The only reason he has not actively participated in sessions is because he is a self-absorbed prick.”

Samuel’s jaw nearly hit the floor for two reasons.  First, Brian had known this entire time about his desires for Colleen, and Liam had not thought to divulge that fact?  He should have been livid, he knew, but it made enough logical sense he felt he could not fault the man. He was quite annoyed, yes, but more annoyed at Brian for his clear abuse of his position of power than anything else.  Second, this was Liam sitting in front of him, but the words leaving his mouth were not the composed, compassionate phrases he was so used to hearing. No, this Liam seemed rather peeved, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed, and the hand gripping his drink seemed to threaten to crush the glass.

“Now, he is forbidden from sharing this information, but that does not prevent him from using it for other purposes.”  Liam pursed his lips, eyes boring into Samuel’s with a very somber expression. “Did he threaten you?”

Samuel paled; if he admitted to the blackmail, surely Liam would deduce what had happened between Brian and Colleen, and that was the very thing Brian had demanded he not share.  He awkwardly shrugged his shoulders, trying to shake off the line of questioning he had inadvertently started.

“Oh, I- n-no, he didn’t, er...it’s nothing really, I shouldn’t have brought it up…”

Liam none too gently slammed his glass back down on his desk, then took in a deep breath through his nose and swept his bangs to the side of his face in an effort to regain composure.  He sat there breathing for several moments before he visibly relaxed, albeit only slightly, and turned his attention back to the perturbed man fidgeting in the chair in front of him.

“Brian has been- let us just say  _ interesting _ to work with ever since I appointed him Second.  Perhaps I should have been more selective, particularly after what he did to his wife...but that is neither here nor there.  Ah, please excuse my lack of professionalism.” He gave Samuel a wry smile. “On a related note, there is something I need to discuss with you, and it is very important that you listen to me carefully.”

“Of- of course,” Samuel mumbled, head dizzy from the mixed emotions being sent his way.  Liam peered at him from across the desk, his expression suddenly very serious.

“Some events are going to be taking place in town shortly,” he began, and when Samuel opened his mouth Liam held up a hand to stop him.  “Please, Mr. Bell, I must ask for no interruptions. These events- on the surface it may seem as though something is amiss, and things may not appear to be developing in a manner you are comfortable with.  I must implore you above all else to trust me.”

Samuel laughed nervously, trying to break the eerie sense of discomfort that had now settled upon the room.  “Of course- I mean, you have done so much for me, of course I trust you-”

“No, Mr. Bell, I do not think you understand.  I am asking you to, no matter what happens or how bleak things may seem, despite every inkling you may have to abandon hope, to put your full faith in me that things will work out for the best.  Can you do that?”

This line of discussion was making Samuel particularly uneasy, but when he thought about it he really had no reason not to trust the man.  Liam had provided so much for both him and Colleen; hell, he’d brought them closer than they had ever been before. That was not something Samuel took lightly, and he truly believed that, whatever the circumstances, Liam would do right by the two of them.  He wanted to ask for more details, to get some hint as to what might be coming, but a knock on the door made him jump and shook the thought from his mind.

“Come in!” Liam said pleasantly, and greeted Ashley with a smile as she poked her head into the room.  “Ah. Time already? I’ll be right down.”

Ashley nodded, flashing a smile at Samuel before retreating back to her duties; he barely acknowledged her, caught up in his own distractions, and only stood because Liam did so.

“I do hope this has not disturbed you too much, Mr. Bell.  Just remember what I said. Oh, and Mr. Bell?”

Samuel paused, blinking at him, already feeling as though he had overstayed his welcome.  Liam gestured to his midsection, and with an inward groan Samuel realized what he must mean.  A quick glance down confirmed his suspicion that he had indeed spilled coffee on himself earlier that morning but had been in such a rush he hadn’t noticed; Colleen was apparently kind enough not to point it out for once.  With a gulp he nodded before turning on his heel and leaving for the service, hoping Liam had not noticed how much more concerned he was than he let on.

 

The springtime play the young children put on for the crowd was cute, if not a little over the top and silly.  Colleen could not understand why a small child would be so ecstatic about playing the carrot in the garden, or a boulder for that matter, but they truly embraced their roles and delivered their lines with a surprising accuracy for their age range.  She had to hand it to Kelly and Becky; despite being shallow, mean-spirited individuals, they had done a good job in teaching these kids. She only hoped the rehearsals had not been as stressful as she imagined.

Colleen found herself laughing and clapping with the rest of the crowd as the little performers took a bow, one or two of them going a little too far and falling forward onto the stage where concerned parents quickly righted them.  Her father was clapping as well, though his smile seemed forced and his attention seemed elsewhere; he had disappeared for a few minutes before the service began, after which his mood had shifted dramatically. She presumed he had gone to talk to Liam, but what could they possibly have discussed?  Brian? That was certainly the most likely explanation, but she knew she would likely never know details of the conversation as Samuel refused to divulge what he and Brian had discussed the morning of their confrontation.

That fact did not fill Colleen with any sort of confidence, and even then as everyone in the crowd had their eyes fixated on the stage there was one man who did not.  Brian’s gaze had lingered on her far longer than she would have liked; at this point he was practically staring. For quite some time now she had grown accustomed to the way his eyes looked her over during any and all public events, but after the assault it had become nearly unbearable.  Their eyes locked for a moment; he grinned, and she tore hers away to instead focus on Liam walking up on stage while continuing to clap. Anything was better than Brian.

“Didn’t they do a wonderful job?  Let’s go ahead and give them another round of applause.”  Liam clapped enthusiastically, displaying the same strange pseudo-emotion Colleen had come to expect from the man.  It seemed as though he was incapable of expressing joy, yet the townspeople did not notice in the slightest. She wondered if she should be more troubled by this, but decided she had other problems and kept clapping with the masses.

Liam cleared his throat as the applause died down, that odd genuine yet fake smile plastered to his face.  “Now, as entertaining as this all is, I’d like to turn your attention to something more serious.” Liam inhaled deeply, his fingers gripping the sides of the podium a little harder than was probably necessary.  “As you all know, there have been a series of unfortunate events around town as of late. We’ve had a few major injuries, some stemming from the fire at the library site. We’ve had our fair share of serious illness hitting not only the elderly, but the young and able-bodied.  And, in truth, without getting into the specifics, the very reason for this town has been ineffective in helping people. At first I thought I was to blame, but this is all simply too much of a coincidence.” His eyes scanned the room, and for a brief moment Colleen thought they paused on her before continuing on.  “You know what this means.”

Murmurs erupted throughout the crowd, and Colleen found herself clutching Samuel’s hand as fear began to grip her.  She had tried to forget about her discomfort with this place in an effort to get the help she finally felt she needed, but something was not right.  Now there was some sort of conspiracy theory surrounding everything bad that happened around town, events that she did not even know about due to largely staying at home; she did not know what that meant, not in Liam’s terms, but she was not sure she wanted to know.

The desire to get up and leave was strong, but instead she looked up at her father and whispered, “What’s going on?”  He briefly glanced down at her before his eyes turned back to Liam with a shrug. Her eyes narrowed but he did not seem to notice her glaring at him; she knew he practically worshipped Liam, but being passive about some creepy sermon was going too far.  She knew she could not talk to him at that moment and that it would gnaw at her until she could, but she would have to wait. Settling back into her chair, she gripped Samuel’s hand once more.

“The ceremony of summer solstice will take place this year.  Expect a decision to be made regarding the participants within the coming month.  Brian is of course going to be taking point on this, so please direct any questions you have to him.”

Colleen fidgeted in her seat.  Some weird ceremony tied into the bad luck in town?  This was getting far too strange too quickly; furthermore, with Brian being the one apparently in charge, there was no way she could ask questions.  She found it odd that Liam had not given more detail about what the ceremony entailed or its exact purpose, particularly with newcomers there who would not understand such a sudden revelation.  Liam had already resumed discussing something entirely unrelated, but as his eyes flicked to Colleen’s again hers suddenly went wide with realization: he had been vague  _ on purpose _ to keep herself and Samuel in the dark.

That cunning bastard.

She was beginning to like him less and less as time went on.

The remainder of the morning progressed with little else that perturbed Colleen, though she did not think anything could top what she had heard.  Unsettled did not do justice in describing how she felt, and she wanted nothing more than to have a heart-to-heart with her father to express her concerns.  When the service ended and they stood she immediately took his hand but choked back a cry as he swatted her away. Something had him on edge all morning, and as badly as it stung she figured his lack of a desire to hold her hand in public was the least of her worries.  What in the hell was going on?

She turned to confront him, or at least to get him to agree to go somewhere they could talk privately, but he mumbled something about needing to use the bathroom and made a beeline for the doors across the hall.  With an inward groan Colleen put her hand to her head; this was going to be more difficult than necessary. No sooner had he left than a throng of people materialized behind her, the group steadily pushing her into a corner as the masses clamored around a somewhat exasperated looking Liam.  She could hear them shouting questions relating to the ceremony, whatever it was; he repeatedly directed them towards Brian and reassured them that every detail would be worked out in time. One by one they slipped away, and soon a crowd formed around Brian. Unlike Liam, he seemed to enjoy all of the attention.

Liam now stood alone mere feet from Colleen.  In truth, the man rather terrified her and had always made her feel worthless, and no part of her really wanted to speak with him now.  There were too many unanswered questions, however; she wanted- no,  _ needed  _ explanations.  She was going to have to be strong.

Just as he turned to go up the stairs, Colleen stepped forward and intercepted his path.  He blinked and looked down at her with weary eyes, surprised and apparently not terribly pleased by her sudden appearance.  “Miss Bell,” he said curtly, moving to push past her.

“Wait!” she all but shouted, tripping over herself to intercept him again.  “I- look, it’s been awhile since one of our sessions, and I’ve got a lot of questions about what’s going on, and I’d really like it if you could see me-”

“Any questions regarding today’s topic may be directed towards Brian.”

Colleen stomped her foot in frustration, feeling like a child as she did so and unappreciative of the way Liam seemed to regard her as such.  “But I can’t- I can’t...talk...Brian, I…”

“Miss Bell, if you cannot form coherent sentences, we cannot have this conversation.”  He moved past her again, and this time a desperate Colleen reached out and grabbed his arm.  She did not even touch skin but she felt him bristle and jerk away, eyes wide as though he had been wounded.  It was far more emotion than she had ever seen from the man, and it rather frightened her.

“I-I’m sorry,” she blurted out, retracting her hand and taking a step back, “I just really want to know what-”

Suddenly Liam pushed past her, careful not to touch her again, and practically stormed up the stairs.  Colleen gaped after him, moving to follow and nearly running headfirst into a woman she recognized as Ashley.  “Liam will not be seeing you today, Colleen,” she said with the slightest hint of a haughty smirk that Colleen wanted to smack off of her pretty face.

“W-what about tomorrow, then?”

“Not tomorrow, either.”

Colleen was becoming more and more agitated as this conversation progressed.  She stared up after him, which was difficult given how  _ tall _ Ashley was, eventually running her hand through her hair and trying to be as rational as possible.  “Well, he’s got a schedule, right? Can’t we go look at his schedule? I’m sure he’s gotta have  _ something _ open, I mean I’m free all the time, so whenever-”

“His schedule is full,” Ashley replied tersely.

Colleen blinked.  That didn’t make any sense, not given what she asked.  “Until when?”

“His schedule is full,” Ashley repeated, turning on her stilettos to follow Liam up the stairs.  Colleen felt completely dumbfounded; it was one thing for him to legitimately have no time for her, but she wasn’t fooled; he was flat out refusing to see her.  And what the hell was that reaction when she grabbed his arm? Things were getting creepy and she was not okay with it.

She needed to have a serious talk with her father.

 

“Dad, do you...don’t you think this town is sort of...weird?”

Samuel paused as he chewed on his pulled pork sandwich, slowly swallowing it down and taking a long sip of iced tea.  They had decided to stop at the local diner for lunch after the service, something that had become a bit of a tradition over the past several months.  Colleen had seemed to have something on her mind ever since earlier that morning, and now she finally had the opportunity to express whatever it was that was bugging her, which was apparently the town’s supposed weirdness.

He was unsure of what she could possibly mean but then thought back to what Liam said during their earlier conversation about something big happening that he might not appreciate; he did not feel that he needed to burden Colleen with that information, however.  He shook his head as he put his glass back down on the table, clearing his throat. “Ah, no? Weird how?”

Colleen frowned at him; she had been stirring her ketchup around with a french fry for far longer than was necessary, so clearly something had her perturbed.  “All that stuff Liam was saying today? About the bad stuff in town? And the ceremony? You guys talk a lot- do you know anything about that?”

Samuel shook his head, though he could not help but think this ceremony was tied to whatever Liam was alluding to earlier.  Summer solstice- that was still a couple of months away. Was he going to have to live with this stress of not knowing for months?  He gulped, quickly taking another sip of tea. “No, I- he’s never mentioned any of that.”

She was getting more upset; the french fry broke under the pressure, and he presumed she would not be far behind.  “Don’t you think it’s a little strange that they’re doing some sort of ceremony because of bad stuff? Like that’s some superstitious cult bullshit.”

“Colleen!  Language!” he hissed, then sighed as he noticed the drops of barbecue sauce that had made their way from his sandwich onto his now multicolored shirt.  If anything was an indication as to how the day was going, it was that. “Sweetheart,” he said slowly, trying to choose his words carefully, “just because people are a little superstitious does not mean there is something wrong with them.  And it certainly doesn’t mean they’re a  _ cult _ .”

“What about the altar?” Colleen was becoming more and more exasperated, leaning in across the table so her agitated voice would not be heard by the other patrons.  “The thing in the woods? Explain  _ that _ .  I don’t buy that it’s there for them to put on plays, and what was covering it was definitely not  _ paint _ .”

Samuel groaned, rubbing his temple; she was truly trying his patience with her wild theories and accusations.  “Colleen, you- you had been out in the woods overnight by yourself, you were injured, perhaps you did not quite see what you thought you did-”

“I know what I saw!” she snapped, sitting back in the booth in a huff and crossing her arms.  “Dad, this place gives me the creeps. I think we should leave.”

Samuel about spit out his drink at that, narrowly saving himself from embarrassment in an effort not to further stain his shirt.  He laughed hesitantly, then frowned upon realizing she was serious. “Leave? You want to  _ leave _ .”

“Yes!  It’s- we’re supposed to be here getting me help, right?  Liam has barely seen me in months- he flat out refused today, and was really fucking weird about it.  And I don’t like it here, it weirds me out, so if it isn’t helping me then why-”

“We can’t just leave, Colleen.  Financially, we- we can’t.”

“We’re…we’re broke?  That doesn’t make any sense, you’re an accountant-”

Samuel forced a laugh.  He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t tell her the truth, that he spent his life savings to bring them here and now there was no getting out.  He couldn’t tell her he spent all of their money trying to keep his hands off of her, and where did it lead them? To the one place he thought they would never go.  “I’m an accountant, Colleen, not a wizard. Besides, hasn’t- hasn’t this place done us some good? I mean, it brought- we’re closer now, right?”

Colleen hesitated, then nodded.  He did not appreciate the hesitation, but did enjoy her smile as she looked at him from across the table.  It was short lived, however, and quickly fell as she leaned in again and whispered, “What about Brian?”

Samuel blanched; what about Brian indeed.  He had neglected to tell Colleen that Brian knew of their relationship, and if she inferred it from his unmasculine sobbing the other day she had not divulged her knowledge.  But he had to admit that, armed with that knowledge or not, she had a point. The man was unhinged and even Liam seemed to think so; he had attached Colleen, killed their dog, and blackmailed Samuel into not revealing the first two wrongdoings to anyone else.  Neither of them were safe with Brian around, and as he was firmly seated in the position of being The Second the only other option was for them to leave.

But they couldn’t leave.  This place, it had given them a fresh start, a new life, one they could spend together without interference.  Liam had helped them know each other on an entirely new level, one that Samuel did not believe he could ever give up.  If they left town, would Colleen still feel for him as she did? He hoped so, beyond anything, but he just could not be sure; if this place was keeping them together, they simply could not leave.

He began to open his mouth when Bryce, the proprietor of the diner, walked over to their table holding a rather large nearly overflowing milkshake, complete with whipped cream, a cherry, and a- no,  _ two  _ straws.  Samuel balked at seeing the second straw, choking awkwardly on his words as the large, muscular man placed the drink on their table.  “We, uh, didn’t order-”

“It’s on the house,” Bryce said with a kind smile, and given his size and build Samuel did not think he was in a position to argue.  He tried to accept the treat with a gracious expression but was sure he fell short even as Bryce retreated back into the kitchen.

Colleen stared at it for several moments, probably debating whether or not free milkshake constituted something creepy in her mind, before shrugging and sipping from the straw closest to her.  Samuel’s eyes kept flicking back to the kitchen, then to other people in the diner whom he swore were staring at him and whispering. Did Bryce know? Is that why he brought out such an intimate dessert?  Had Brian told him? Had he told everyone?

Oh God, did  _ everyone  _ know?  No, this was not okay, this was not okay in the slightest!  He felt as though he was on the verge of tears, a mental breakdown, or both; he wiped sweat from his brow as Colleen eyed him over the slowly receding tower of whipped cream and waited for his response.  Perhaps they should leave after all.

So caught up in his stressed thoughts, Samuel did not notice the group that had been sitting on the far side of the diner pause by their booth, nor did he suspect anything when they began to inch closer.  He could not stop his heart hammering in his chest, however, upon hearing Colleen’s scream; he moved to go to her but was stopped in his tracks as the hood came down over his head and everything went black.


	19. Chapter 19

It felt as though they had been walking for hours.  Colleen’s heels sank uncomfortably into what she presumed was the dirt of the forest given the constant sound of snapping twigs and rustling leaves, but her captors left her with no other option.  Hands bound in front of her and a strong hand gripping her bicep meant she had no choice but to go where they wanted her to go and to do what they wanted her to do. She just prayed they were not headed where she suspected.

She could hear her father behind her stumbling and struggling to keep up as well.  He had been silent for quite some time now, his reassuring calls letting her know he was nearby and that everything would be okay shushed by the group of men, verbally at first and then by what sounded alarmingly like a blow to the back of the head.  That was when the tears began to roll down Colleen’s cheeks and she truly felt terrified.

The ambush in the diner had been meticulously planned and wholly unexpected.  She gave the group little thought as they stood nearby; it was not until they grabbed her that she even really noticed them.  Thinking back now she could not recall who was involved, or if it was even anyone she knew. If she had to guess she would not recognize the men, hardly knowing anyone in town, which made it all the more disturbing.  She had heard Samuel call out to her and Bryce yelling at the men as they were dragged outside, but it was to no avail. As strong as he looked, Bryce surely could not have taken on that many at once, and neither she nor her father had the strength to fend off even one of these goons.  It was hopeless.

As they continued their trek, the warm air somehow even more stifling under the hood, a growing sense of dread filled Colleen’s veins.  They were heading to that creepy altar; she just knew it. They were heading to the altar, and something horrible was about to happen. She had been right all along and he hadn’t- had hadn’t even been trying to listen to her, so in love with Liam and this place, and now they were in danger as a result.  Part of her wanted to kick and scream and resent him for it, but a much larger part wanted them to get out of this intact so she could hold him again.

Another step and the grip on her arm tightened, the body next to her tensed and she felt it stop walking.  Obediently she stopped as well, but paled upon hearing Samuel trip and fall behind her. The man dragging him grunted and Colleen could hear the scuffle erupt behind her.

“Get up old man!” the captor growled, and she heard what sounded like her father’s wind being knocked out of him as something hit his chest.  He wheezed and gasped, and despite knowing she should stay quiet Colleen felt an overwhelming urge to come to his aid.

“Don’t hurt him!” she yelled through her tears and the cloth of the hood; the hand holding her arm shook her briefly before stopping, distracted by something else.  She heard Samuel continue to pant.

“Travis- I mean, um- oh, fuck it.  Cut it out, man.”

The blows to her father stopped, for which Colleen was grateful, and she instead spent a few moments trying to identify the voice that spoke.  It was not one she recognized immediately, so she was unsure if it belonged to anyone she kew. In truth she had never been very good at this sort of thing, and the heightened adrenaline from her predicament and being under the hood was not helping her concentration.  She had to find some way to get them to remove it.

She felt someone come up beside her and grasp her forearm; the man holding her opposite bicep let go and she felt herself dragged away.  The grip on her arm was strong, stronger than that of the previous man, and it was with extreme hesitation that she decided to open her mouth.

“L-look, can’t we just- can’t we talk about-” she stuttered as she was roughly shoved forward, her bound hands unable to stop her from colliding with the waist-high object that left her with a number of small scrapes.   _ The altar _ .  “-this?”  She ran her fingers over the rough stone, images of what this disturbing slab of rock looked like returning to her mind as she choked on her own saliva and tears.  “I-if you’d just remove the hood-”

“No.” The reply was short and blunt, and Colleen’s nerves only spiked as she felt several sets of hands on her, lifting her to lay her down on the altar.  Her struggling was futile, and after the captors got a good chuckle out of her efforts the one she presumed was in charge leaned down next to her ear and whispered, “Don’t move.”

What choice did she have?

 

Samuel had always been quick to worry.  Ever since childhood the slightest incident would set him off, whether it be a school exam for which he felt woefully underprepared or his cousins stealing, and often breaking, his favorite action figures.  The rush of panic he felt coursing through his body was always an unmistakable reminder that things could easily go horribly wrong in utterly unexpected ways, and he felt it better prepared him for when they did.  The trouble with that line of reasoning was, with very few exceptions, things did not tend to go horribly wrong. They might not go as perfectly as desired but at the very least they did not devolve into this bleak pit of despair that his mind had conjured up.  Until today.

He did not like being separated from Colleen, period, and their current situation was made all the more frightening by his lack of ability to see her.  He was not so much worried about himself as he was in that moment that she was okay, and indeed their seemingly endless walk in silence had him beyond concerned.  Hearing her voice again filled him with a sense of relief, quickly replaced by that familiar panic once more when they appeared to reach their destination.

This was not right; those wild accusations Colleen had made about the town, they could not possibly be true- could they?  She was practically raving on about secret ceremonies and bloodied altars in the woods, but Samuel had not taken a word of it seriously.  The people of the town might be eccentric, but they certainly weren’t part of some Satanic cult. He just would not believe it.

Yet as they stood there, the air was sweltering, the hood smothering, his feet ached, and he hurt where he had been given what he felt were highly undeserved blows to the head and chest.  The rope binding his wrists dug in painfully as he was dragged over to a spot and told to stay still, which was a daunting task as he felt as though his legs could give out at any moment. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from calling to his daughter once more, knowing very well what would happen if he did.

_ This can’t really be happening _ , he repeated to himself again,  _ there must be some sort of rational explanation _ .  He heard the leaves rustle as the men moved somewhere in front of him; suddenly images of all the things they could possibly do to his beloved ran through his mind, ranging from merely bad to the unthinkable.  He struggled pitifully against his bonds, wishing he could somehow muster the strength to break them and go to her before it was too late.  _ So fucking helpless _ .

That was all he’d ever been, helpless, as a worried little boy and now as an adult on the verge of tears.  He no longer cared if the town knew about him and Colleen; hell, he no longer cared if she found out he’d been drugging her.  He wanted more than anything for her to be okay, and he’d give himself up if he had to so they would let her go. He opened his mouth to say as such but hesitated, the cowardice suddenly overwhelming.  No; he had to be strong. He had to do this for Colleen. Gulping down his fear he opened his mouth again but was interrupted by a voice he recognized all too well.

“Colleen Bell, age twenty-one, hair and eye color brown, approximately five-foot-three, let’s say, oh, one hundred and twenty pounds?  Highest degree held, high school diploma, currently unemployed. Tell me, Colleen, what is it you say you do here?”

Samuel’s face fell and the anxiety returned in full force.  He had suspected Brian was in charge of their little trip but had no confirmation, but listening to the man rant day after day made his tone all too familiar.  Now that he knew who commanded the situation he could truly see no way out. He wanted to take back his earlier thoughts of not caring about who knew what; with Brian running the show there was a very real possibility that some of those things might be made public.  He couldn’t understand it; he’d given Brian exactly what the man wanted, which was his silence in the matter of Colleen’s assault. Had that not been enough for the egotistical bastard?

“I-I...look, I..is that what this is about?  I’ll get a job, I’ll do whatever, just please untie me-”

If Colleen knew it was Brian who spoke she did not let it on, and in Samuel’s mind that meant she likely did not know.  She was possibly the only person in town who detested The Second more than he, though he had recently began to wonder where Liam sat on that spectrum.  He heard Brian laugh, then clear his throat and continue as though this was all routine.

“We will certainly get to that.  Where were we….oh yes, hobbies include creative writing and listening to nineties grunge, has a history of acting out and troubled behavior.  Family members include a mother, deceased, an ex-stepmother and stepsister, leaving just dear old Dad, Samuel. Tell me, Colleen,” he paused, and his next words caused Samuel’s stomach to tense, “do you love your Dad?”

“Of course I do!” Colleen shot back, seemingly unaware of the implication of her statement in the way Brian meant it.  Samuel opened his mouth again but felt a man come to stand beside him once more and, head still stinging, thought better of it.

“No, I don’t think you understand me.  I want to know if you  _ really  _ love your Dad.”

Samuel squirmed where he stood.  On the one hand, this did not seem like the start of some sort of creepy sacrificial ritual for which he was immensely thankful; on the other, his deepest darkest secret was about to be revealed to god knows how many people.  And what if Brian went back on his word and told Colleen about the substance? He thought he could handle it when the situation seemed far more dire, but now things were completely different.

“I...fail to see what that has to do with anyth-”

“Oh, it has to do with  _ everything _ ,” Brian snorted; more leaves crunched as he, or someone, began pacing.  “You’d be willing to do whatever it takes to protect him, right?”

Samuel tried not to think about how much Colleen’s lack of a response stung.  It was probably the smartest thing she could have said, or not said as the case may be, but in truth it hurt that she did not immediately provide an affirmation.  Perhaps later they could have a conversation about it, if they made it out of this with their relationship intact.

Wait a minute- protect?  Was he in danger? He was so caught up in thinking about Colleen he almost missed what Brian said entirely.  He couldn’t possibly be serious, could he? Brian was a lot of things, quite possibly even a monster by many definitions, but he did not have anything truly evil inside of him.  Did he?

“Y-Yes!” Colleen all but shouted.  “Just..p-please tell me what you want me to do...”  Her voice was starting to tremble, whatever resolve she had in the beginning starting to wear off.

“All in good time, my dear!  All in good time.”

Samuel did not like the way Brian seemed to be enjoying himself, getting some sick pleasure out of the predicament he had put them in.  It bothered him on many levels; it bothered him more that Colleen did not seem to know to whom she spoke. He inhaled to call to her but the figure next to him stomped on his foot.  He groaned and fell to one knee, inwardly chastising himself for thinking that was a good idea. He would have to be more careful or he  _ would  _ actually end up truly injured.

“D-Dad?” Colleen’s timid voice cried out as she heard him grunt; he heard Brian chuckle.

“Oh he’s fine, just being a bit stubborn I take it.  Now, back to you. Don’t you think it is about time you started contributing to the community?”

A long silence followed as Colleen apparently weighed the correct response.  When she did speak it was quiet and resigned. “I’ll do anything. Just leave him alone, please.”

If Samuel’s heart could have soared then it would have.  He was far too hot, hurt, and terrified for it to do so, but hearing Colleen offer herself up for him filled him with a twisted sort of joy.  She did care; after all this time, after all the awkwardly timed sex and romancing and drugs, she did care. He could not be happier.

That is, until Brian opened his mouth again and said three little words that made him want to vomit, punch something, and scream all at the same time.

“Even marry me?”

Samuel could feel himself begin to hyperventilate, but before he could bring himself to shout the  _ No! _ boiling beneath the surface another familiar voice rang out.

“What in the hell is going on here?”

 

Colleen was full of a multitude of emotions.  First and most paramount there was fear at her situation, at where this was all leading as she lay on the slab of rock in the middle of the woods. Then there was confusion, at the question just posed to her.  There was relief at the sound of Liam’s voice calling out through the trees, though she never thought she’d be so glad to hear it. Finally there was rage, complete and utter outrage when she finally put two and two together and realized it had been Brian leading her on this whole time.

Brian let out a heavy sigh.  “Liam, come on, I was just asking her-”

“Get  _ away _ from me!” she shouted as she felt his hand on her shoulder, bringing to the surface memories of a night she did not want to remember yet could not forget.  She jerked away, nearly tumbling off the edge of the altar until someone caught her and sat her up. A few moments later her wrists were free; she ripped off the hood before the person could get to it.  A very concerned looking Bryce stood there, frowning down at her and pocketing the knife he had used to cut her bonds.

“You okay?” he asked gruffly, and she nodded somewhat shakily.  A quick glance over her shoulder revealed that another man she could not name had freed her father, who was struggling to regain his footing.  She leaped from the altar and ran over to him faster than she should have in heels, but she did not care at that point if she twisted her ankle.

Flinging her arms around him felt better than she could ever have imagined; he was trembling when he hugged her back but responded with a tight embrace.  His gaze did not linger on her for long, however, and instead he turned to watch the two men squaring off near where Colleen had just been. She turned to face Liam and Brian, pleased her father’s arms still held her back firmly against his chest but concerned about what was going to happen.

The two men appeared equally incensed, Liam perhaps a bit more so which was odd given his normal look of composure.  Brian had clenched his fists instinctively, unsurprising given his proclivity towards anger and, so it seemed, violence.  Liam looked more exasperated than anything, running his hand through his hair. Colleen noticed a handful of other people around them, including the men from the diner who had taken them, the two blondes and a handful of others, along with the men Liam had brought.  It was shaping up to be quite the showdown, but for what?

“What were you  _ thinking _ ?” Liam nearly shouted, his gesticulating far from calm.  Brian shrugged, something that appeared to only annoy Liam, and the younger man waved aside the concerns.

“Calm down, man!  I was only doing what I said I would do-”

“No.  No, you never said anything about a- about some fake ritual, and  _ kidnapping _ , and-”

“Look, my only task was to tell her about her part in the ceremony.  You never said  _ how _ .”

“Wait,” Colleen interjected, fear suddenly heightened.  “What part in what ceremony?”

Liam turned to her as though bothered that she was still there but Brian caught her eye and spoke first.  “Summer solstice. You, me, ceremony of bonding. Not quite a legally binding marriage, but close enough around here.”

Colleen’s jaw nearly hit the ground; she felt her father bristle and his arms tighten around her before scoffing.  “I am  _ not _ marrying  _ you _ .”

Brian shrugged again, but this time he wore a smug grin that she did not appreciate.  “You’re not. Quite frankly, I don’t ever want to go through all that bullshit again- which is why this is so perfect.  You see, this town has a stupid- yes, Liam, I said stupid- superstition that The Second being without a partner brings nothing but bad luck.  So, tradition is for them to choose one and they are bonded on the summer solstice. I chose you. That’s all there is to it.”

The blondes looked mildly distraught but Colleen could not find it in herself to care; they could have him.  Was he nuts? Did he really think she was going to lie down and let him have her like that? Even if he hadn’t brutally assaulted and raped her the answer would still have been an emphatic no.  She shook her head, fear turning to anger.

“What the fuck makes you think I’d agree to something like that?”

Brian laughed, as though this was the best part of the entire twisted ordeal.  “Oh see, now, I’m something of a traditionalist. I’m not asking you- I’m asking your father.  And should he refuse, well, I guess there’s no need for the two of you in town anymore.”

Colleen smiled triumphantly; there was absolutely no way Samuel would give her up, not with how he felt about her and particularly not to someone like Brian.  Fuck this town and fuck everyone in it. They were finally being given the chance they needed to get out, to get away from these freaky people and all their weird traditions; surely her father could not say no to an opportunity such as this, regardless of how he felt about the place.  Staying was simply not an option.

She craned her neck to look back and up at him, noticing for the first time that his grip on her had gone limp.  He was not looking at Brian at all, but rather had locked eyes with Liam and was gaping at The First while he continued to pale.

“Is...is this true?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.  Liam looked almost guilty but maintained eye contact and nodded solemnly.

“I’m afraid I have no control over whom The Second selects for the ceremony, and I am bound by his decision.  What Brian says of the tradition is true, however. If you will not consent on behalf of your daughter, you must leave town tonight.”

Samuel’s eyes widened at that, and suddenly Colleen’s anger was replaced by very real dread.  He couldn’t possibly- no, he wouldn’t, not even to stay-

“D-Dad come on, this isn’t funny.  Tell them we’re leaving, come on….D-Dad you can’t be serious…”

He looked down at her with sadness in his eyes, then back over to Liam who nodded again.  He gulped down what Colleen could only presume was what little pride he had and opened his mouth to speak very slowly.  “I’m...I’m sorry, Colleen,” was all he said at first without making eye contact. He seemed to be having difficulty finding the right words, and even when he did he stumbled over them and made the betrayal that much more noticeable.   “But we can’t- we can’t just  _ leave- _ “

“I can’t believe you!” she shouted, resulting in a wince from him.  “You’re willing to- to give me up, to give up your own child to  _ him-“  _ She pointed at Brian, who was still grinning.  “After everything he’s done? After…” Dare she? Surely the townsfolk were unaware of Brian’s little basement rape dungeon; she could expose him here and now.  She looked around at what were undoubtedly his followers, loyal to The Second above all else. They were quite numerous considering the small size of the town; not a majority but certainly enough to have a voice.  Nothing she did would convince these people of his monstrous nature, and she was beginning to think Liam might already know and did nothing about it. She could shout it from the rooftops and everyone was going to turn a blind eye.

A growl of exasperation escaped her as she wracked her brain trying to find a solution.  The only faint glimmer of hope came with the realization that she was in fact a legal adult capable of making her own decisions, but it was squashed as quickly as it came.  The townsfolk seemed to care little for legality in this instance; furthermore, the life she had built up being completely dependent on her father did her no favors, and now it culminated in this.  There was nowhere to go, no way out.

Samuel appeared resigned, his head hanging and eyes fixated on the ground.  Colleen knew little else to do, so she settled for the one thing she was good at, the thing that seemed to happen with increasing frequency the longer they spent in Happy Meadows.

She began to cry.

 

Samuel was not certain of much anymore, but he knew he was a terrible person.  He had just done the unthinkable, betrayed his only child in such a way that would likely leave her bruised and broken for years to come.  He was never going to be able to forgive himself.

The hand holding the glass of scotch was shaking as he brought it to his lips, his pale face and haunted eyes staring out over the kitchen island as he drank.  For all intents and purposes she was going to be  _ married _ to Brian, the animal that had ravaged her and already left her scarred mentally and physically.  Had this been brought up to him in the past he would have flat out refused, laughed even, and possibly even rewarded Brian with a good punch to the jaw for even thinking he could lay a hand on Colleen.  But things had changed. So much had changed.

They couldn’t just up and leave Happy Meadows; they had been living there for over half a year and there was just too much at stake.  He finally felt stable for once in his life, and it was true that they had hardly any money to live off of as it stood. This place, for all the oddities and strange traditions, had given him the thing he treasured most in life, and for that he was grateful; yet, for all the good it had done, it was about to do the very thing that kept him awake at night.  He was going to lose Colleen.

He couldn’t.  He couldn’t, and he had been ready to give up everything and live on the streets if it meant getting her away from Brian, but there were two reasons he relented.  First was due to his own cowardice, the fact that a refusal meant Brian would surely confess Samuel’s own sin of drugging her, but more than that it was because he trusted Liam.  The First had made it abundantly clear that morning that something was about to happen and he needed to trust him; this was without a doubt what he was referring to. To say Samuel was panicking was an understatement, but Liam had given his word that everything was going to work out for the best.

Samuel had absolutely no reason not to trust the man, this man who had given him Colleen and helped him sort himself out.  Everything seemed bleak, far more bleak than it had before they ever moved here, but he had to put his faith in Liam. He had to trust that somehow, some way, Colleen would not end up bonded to Brian.

He wished he could tell her these things, the reason why he seemed to give her up so easily and not fight for her, but she had no hope of understanding.  He prayed she would at least give up on the cult thing, given that their experience was just a stupid prank to scare her into agreeing to the ceremony, but if he knew her at all then cults were far from her mind.  Brian was the reality, and it was a terrifying one at that. God, could he really go through with this?

“How could you?”

Colleen’s choked voice broke through his alcohol-fueled haze; he gaped at her with her red puffy eyes and smeared makeup.  She had not stopped crying since they had been home, refusing to eat dinner entirely, and had locked herself in her room for the past several hours.  He honestly could not blame her, but what was he to say? He could not tell her the truth.

“Colleen, honey-”

“Don’t  _ honey _ me,” she spat, taking a step towards him.  “You know I can’t leave- can’t  _ live _ without you, and this is the path you choose for me?  All because you don’t want to leave? God, you’re so- so fucking in love with Liam and this fucking town, and- no, don’t you fucking dare tell me to watch my language.  You’ve lost the right to be my father.”

Her words stung like cuts from a thousand knives.  He’d never, through all of this, through all of his misguided affections, wanted to lose her as a daughter.  It was an entirely unique relationship, yes, but it was not one he wanted to give up, and as she stood now she seemed less like his child than he had ever seen her and it hurt.  He had not meant to do this to her.

“Perhaps if I- if I made us some tea-”

“I don’t want  _ tea _ !” she shouted, throwing up her arms in frustration.  “I want you to get your head out of your ass and  _ help _ me.  Dad, he- Brian, he- he  _ raped _ me.  He tied me up in a goddamn sex dungeon and  _ hurt _ me.  Is that what you want for me, just so you can stay here?”

“Of  _ course _ not!” He had not meant to raise his voice, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay calm.  His own guilt combined with the inability to rationalize the decision to her was eating him alive, and the alcohol was doing very little to calm his nerves even a fraction of a percent.

“You’re a damn fool if you think he’s going to let you see me.  This- what we’ve had between us- it’s been the most wonderful thing in my life.  And thanks to you it’ll be over.”

With that she turned on her heel and stalked up the stairs before Samuel had a chance to say another word.  She was right; he knew she was right, but he swore to himself then and there he would not let that happen. He just had to trust Liam.

It was time to open another bottle.


	20. Chapter 20

“I’m not going.”

Colleen stood firmly in the middle of the living room, arms crossed and hip cocked at an angle that suggested the utmost disrespect for the man pleading with her.  Samuel leaned against the doorway, placing his head against the moulding in an expression of utter frustration. They had been at this for a solid twenty minutes, and if they did not leave shortly they would be late.  That fact seemed to deeply bother him, yet it was exactly her intent.

The truth was, Colleen had no desire to attend the town service that morning, not when she was surely to be the object of all sorts of unwanted attention.  If the whispering townsfolk weren’t enough, the thought of being even in the vicinity of Brian made her stomach turn. She had spent the last week arguing with her father on a near hourly basis about whether or not they should leave town, but he seemed resigned to her fate as Brian’s personal fucktoy.

She could not understand it.  He claimed to love her above all else, and over the past several months he had displayed that in all sorts of new and admittedly exciting ways.  Her hesitation had been justified, she knew, given the sinful nature of their taboo, and yet somehow over time he won her over. She was not surprised, really, when she thought about it; he had always been there for her, even before the lust had developed, and in the face of hardships he had always done right by her.

Until now.  The weight of his betrayal was heavy and suffocating and she could not see any way out.  How could he claim to see her as a lover and then give her away, and to a monster at that?  It was as though he clung to the idea that because this town brought them together it would find a way to keep them together and nothing she said could convince him that was hardly the case.  If it was one thing she learned about Happy Meadows it was that nothing was for certain; there were too many secrets and lies, and now they were caught up in the middle of it. She could not think of a worse predicament.

“Colleen, you  _ have _ to go,” she heard him say from somewhere far away from her inner angst.  “What will people think if we're not there- they expect us to attend, as we have every week-”

“Then you go.  But I won't have any part in it.”

Samuel laughed nervously.  “I can't- I can't go without you, Colleen, what would people think?”

“Just tell them I'm sick or something!  I don't care!”

Colleen was at her wits end.  No argument would win her over; this was an utterly pointless exercise and they both knew it, but they were both just stubborn enough not to back down.  When her father spoke again it was with a pleading softness, though what he said only made her want to cry and scream.

“Please, Colleen…do it for me.”

At any other point in her life it would have been an easy decision, to comply with his request and do whatever the thing was that she opposed.  At any other time and place her love would have won out above all else and she would have not only given in, but been happy to do so willingly. Even now she felt him tug on her heartstrings like some sort of twisted puppeteer, bending and twisting her to his will.  The worst of it was the fact that he did not even seem to know the immense power he held, and that made it all the more dangerous.

No, she had to be strong.  She could not let him win, not after how he was ruining her life.  She opened her mouth to continue to berate him but first made the mistake of glancing in his direction and was surprised at just how tired he looked.  She knew he had been up late the past several nights, but by the looks of things he had not gotten much sleep when he did go to bed. He looked weary, frustrated, and, though Colleen hated to admit it, just a little bit old.  Her pseudo-betrothal to Brian was clearly upsetting him in drastic ways, as she would have expected, but then why was he letting it continue? It just didn't make any sense.

Finally she sighed, turning her eyes away from him lest she make any other stupid decisions.  “Fine, I'll go,” she grumbled; Samuel perked up at that and began to say something before she cut him off.  “But not for you. For appearances.”

It was a lie, one she hoped he did not see through.  Judging by his downcast eyes he did not, and as much as she hated hurting him she preferred it that way.  She could not fathom the damage he could inflict upon her, even unintentionally, if he knew just how tightly he had her wrapped around his finger.  Give a man an inch and he'll take your freedom and practically hand you gift-wrapped to an abusive rapist.

Despite her half-hearted attempts to get dressed in record time, they still showed up about fifteen minutes after the service had already started.  Sharon, the outreach manager whose smiling face the day of their arrival Colleen had all but forgotten, was just finishing up, and though she was a captivating speaker the entire room still turned to face the two of them as Samuel awkwardly opened the door for them to slide inside.  He looked particularly embarrassed, especially when he caught the eye of Liam who gave him a quizzical look. Colleen did not care and took a seat in the very last row despite there being several wide open rows ahead, and Samuel rather reluctantly followed suit knowing not to test her.

Sharon gave a small nervous laugh before continuing, noting that there were two new families slated to move to Happy Meadows this coming fall so they were going to need volunteers to get the houses ready.  Colleen narrowed her eyes at that.  _ Fall.  After the freaky fake arranged wedding. _  It did not surprise her they wanted to keep newcomers from witnessing the stranger of their traditions, but it did serve to depict the deceit in the town.   _ Disgusting _ .

She largely stopped paying attention after that, looking down at her lap.  Samuel was rapt with attention, something that irked Colleen but she held her tongue and instead fidgeted with her fingers as if they were the most interesting things in the world.  They had just arrived and she already could not wait for the morning to be over.

So caught up in her attempts to distract herself, Colleen did not even notice the change in speakers until she felt a pair of familiar eyes leering at her from the podium.  She felt her blood turn to ice; even her father stiffened beside her. When a smooth, commanding voice rang out over the crowd it confirmed her suspicions that things were likely about to get very uncomfortable.

“Good morning all!” Brian’s voice was far too cheery for this hour on a Sunday, and Colleen had a sinking feeling she might be part of the reason.  He grinned as he watched her, fingers drumming merrily on the sides of the podium. “And what a beautiful morning it is! Now, as you all know, I’ve been working my ass off preparing for the summer solstice ceremony.  There has been a lot- and I mean a  _ lot _ \- of speculation regarding who I have chosen for the bonding, and I’m pleased to tell you that today I am making the announcement official.”

Colleen attempted to sink lower in her chair even as Brian’s eyes brightened and half of the audience turned towards her in knowing.  This wasn’t happening. It had been one thing to think she could sit through the service as a fly on the wall, a spectator like everyone else, but this was too much.  He was going to call her out and then everyone’s eyes would be on her, and that was something she did not think she could bear.

“The person I have chosen to be my partner, to be my mate, to be...mine, is...Colleen Bell.”

Then the room did turn to face her, hundreds of eyes boring into her small frame that somehow felt even smaller in that moment.  A steady applause broke out, one which she wished would stop but seemed intent on continuing and reverberating around the room. She could not even bring herself to smile, and paled even more upon hearing Brian’s next suggestion.

“Why don’t you come on up here, darling?”

Colleen balked at his request, hesitating long enough for the applause to awkwardly die down around her.  She opened her mouth to shout  _ I’d really rather not _ but then thought back to what she had said to Samuel earlier about appearances.  This was what she promise she would keep up, and she had to be true to her word. With what was likely a visible gulp she shakily got onto her feet and began walking up to where Brian stood.

The aisle seemed to last an eternity, growing longer by the second as her footsteps echoed on the hard floor.  Brian was beaming down at her, looking almost human as he extended a hand to her when she approached him. Wanting to vomit and praying her face did not betray her emotion, she took his offering and allowed herself to be pulled in next to him, where he put his arm around her and continued his oration.

She could not bring herself to listen to what he had to say despite it being practically in her ear; something about how happy he was to find someone who meant so much to him and how the ceremony truly would be a blessing.  His deceit was atrocious and Colleen wanted to scream and call him out on it, but she held her tongue. It was not worth it. Not yet.

When Brian finished his speech she moved to head back to her seat, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her down into the seat next to his on stage as Liam stood to take the podium.  She smoothed her skirt in discomfort, looking out over the audience to see Samuel gaping at them with a concerned expression.  _ Good _ , she thought bitterly,  _ maybe he’ll realize what he’s doing to me _ .

“You look lovely,” Brian whispered, his mouth disgustingly close to her ear as he ignored whatever it was Liam had to say.  “Maybe after the service we can go up to my office and-”

“Fuck off,” Colleen hissed through clenched teeth, unamused when Brian chuckled and leaned in closer.

“I do believe that attitude is going to have to be, ah, trained out of you, my dear.  It simply is unhealthy for a relationship. Besides, can’t have you acting like a cunt in front of the children.”

Colleen paled; the feeling of wanting to vomit returned.  “C-children?”

“Of course.  I do plan on having at least three, you know.  Or I’ll just make you keep popping ‘em out until you give me a boy.  I’m not too picky.”

Her heart started to hammer in her chest, her eyes wide.  He actually intended to have kids with her? He had not mentioned this before; surely her father would have something to say now, knowing of Brian’s plans to use her to carry his seed at his convenience.

“This- that wasn’t part of the-”

“This was always part of the deal, my sweet.  I have a legacy to carry on, after all. Don’t worry, you’ll make a fine mother, and we’ll have a nanny so it’s not like you’ll actually have to raise the little bastards.  Which leaves time for plenty of other things….”

His finger began to stroke her forearm, and Colleen had to fight every muscle in her body to keep from jerking away in a manner that everyone would notice.  This was not okay; this was absolutely beyond not okay. An anguished scream began to swell, but in that instant she was once again silenced by the reality before her.  And reality was quite the bitch.

 

Samuel watched with a resigned sadness as Brian and Colleen conversed upon the stage, quietly seething with rage as the man responsible for hurting his beloved leaned in close to her ear while wearing a wild grin. He felt so powerless once more, as though there was nothing he could do to ease her strife and prevent that which was to come.  The thought of running up to them and punching Brian in his smug young face crossed his mind numerous times, but then what? If Colleen were to have things her way, he would scoop her into his arms and take her away from all this madness. He simply did not want to.

He closed his eyes and put a hand to his head as if trying to block out the very real anxiety caused by the stimuli around him.  It hardly seemed to work, however; he could still hear the crowd murmuring as they made their way into the reception area after the service had conflused, could still see the image of Brian with his arm wrapped around Colleen burned into his retinas.  It was enough to make a man go mad, and for the first time since agreeing to Brian’s conditions Samuel began to wonder if he had made a mistake.

Perhaps he should have listened to his daughter; it wasn’t too late to whisk her away and see her smiling once more.  But where would they go? How would they get there and survive without a steady source of income? Did she even want to be with him now?  That thought hurt enough to give him pause; had he damaged their relationship beyond repair?

No, no he had to keep going on this path he had started down.  Everything was going to be fine in the end, he just had to be strong.  He had to, for himself and for Colleen.

God, he would give anything to see her smile at him with adoration once more.

Eyes still closed, he did not notice the figure approach him from within the crowd.  The sensation of a gentle hand upon his shoulder snapped him out of his reverie; startled, he turned to see Ashley looking down at him with a warm expression.

“Liam wishes to see you,” she said kindly, giving his shoulder a squeeze.  Samuel frowned, looking past her to where Colleen sat looking highly uncomfortable.  He was not scheduled to meet with Liam for counseling until Thursday, and with The First’s tight schedule getting an off the books meeting was unheard of.

“But...Colleen, I…” he mumbled meekly, not wishing to leave her with Brian.  Ashley smiled reassuringly even as The Second stood and pulled Colleen along with him to the reception room, Colleen’s eyes wide and pleading as he gripped her wrist and smirked down at her.

“She’ll be fine,” was all Ashley said, and despite feeling very much like things would not be fine Samuel nodded with a sigh and stood to follow her upstairs.  As they passed the congregation he could see Colleen fighting back tears as Brian showed her off to his cohorts, punching a hole in his heart he was unsure if even Liam could fix.

Liam was poring over various notebooks when they arrived, sticky notes plastered on what seemed to be every few pages and notes scribbled in the margins.  He appeared deep in thought, so much so that Samuel would not have dared interrupt him and was actually visibly appalled when Ashley did so as though this was commonplace.

“I have Mr. Bell here for you, sir,” she stated simply, then stepped out and closed the door behind her as Liam nodded in acknowledgment.  This left Samuel alone in Liam's office with the man, something which had happened dozens of times before and yet this did not feel like those other times.  Liam was clearly perturbed about something and looked oddly weary and tired; Samuel never dared ask his age but always guessed him to be at least ten years his junior, yet the lines on his face and noticeable streaks of gray in his hair now suggested otherwise.  His usual put-together charismatic air had finally cracked, and in truth it put Samuel on edge more than anything else had since arriving in town. If Liam was having difficulty keeping it together, what hope was there for the rest of them?

“Please, Mr. Bell, sit,” he said finally, gesturing to the chair Samuel had frequented over the past several months.  Samuel slid into it without a word, picking nervously at his hands as Liam closed up the notebooks and filed them away neatly on the shelf next to him.  He ran a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath before opening them again with a changed expression. The worry and frustration that had previously marred his features had disappeared and in its place was the calm and collected Liam that Samuel had come to know.  The dramatic change was a bit unsettling, but at the same time Samuel was glad whatever was bothering The First was not going to impact their meeting.

“How are things going with your daughter?”

It was a loaded question.  He had to know things weren't going well; how could he possibly not?  Samuel let out an inappropriately nervous chuckle and, when Liam did not smile, hung his head.  “I think she hates me, honestly.”

Liam looked unsurprised.  “I would think so, after the man she has come to love and trust has seemingly thrown her into the rapist’s den.”

Samuel began to nod, starting off at a corner of the desk, when his head suddenly snapped up and his gaze met Liam's.  “You- you know?” His mouth dropped open in disbelief, his eyes wide with a sudden rush of confused panic. “You  _ know _ !”

“I make it my business to know what goes on around my town, Mr. Bell, and while I had my suspicions the truth was not confirmed until just now.  And let's just say that Brian...he is nothing if not an arrogant braggart.”

Samuel gaped at him, unable to comprehend what he was hearing.  This entire time he had been so concerned that Liam would find out and that Brian would expose him as a result, but it had already been known or at least suspected.  Liam was far more aware that Samuel had realized, something that he was as of yet unsure if he appreciated. He eyed The First with apprehension, trying to choose his next words carefully.

“He said- Brian said if I told anyone…”

“I am very aware of the consequences.  However since I deduced it myself largely without your assistance, I dare say Brian has no leverage.  Besides, I believe it would be best if we kept this bit of knowledge between us.”

Samuel nodded, grateful that this would mean he had a chance at keeping his sin from the town, but more importantly the existence and use of the drugs from Colleen.  His mind turned back to his daughter, hands balling into fists on his thighs as he thought of the mess he had put her in. He did not want to admit defeat, but he needed help.  He needed to ask for her sake.

“Isn't there anything you can do?  I mean knowing what he is, what he does, I- I can't let him just take her from me.  I can't, I've worked so hard to get to this point and it just- well it isn't fair, first of all, and honestly I'm scared, scared for her and what he- oh God what he might  _ do _ to her…”

“Mr. Bell, please calm down.  As I said during our last meeting, things may not seem to be following a path you are comfortable with, but I assure you everything is going to work out in your favor.  That is, in fact, why I called you here today.”

Samuel furrowed his brow, wondering what was meant by that.  He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the door opening behind him; he turned, expecting to see Ashley, but his questions only increased as Danny entered the room and took the seat next to him.  They made eye contact for a brief moment until Samuel jerked his head away and back to Liam, who had an odd smile on his face as he folded his hands on the desk in front of him.

“Good, everyone is here.  Now we can begin.”

 

The afternoon following the town service Colleen’s fear only mounted.  Brian’s comments had put her on edge, and the thought of being kept in his house like some sort of livestock to breed and fuck whenever he chose made her physically ill.  She was so distraught she did not even yell at her father for abandoning her after the service, instead choosing to lay in her bed staring at the ceiling while willing herself not to cry.  How had things fallen so far? And was there even anything she could do about it?

She wanted to leave more than she had ever wanted anything else in the world.  Her father did not seem interested in granting that wish no matter how hard she pleaded, and there was no way she could survive on her own without him.  So dependent on him and all he provided, she was now trapped in this madhouse all because she never made any effort to free herself.

The bedroom was stifling, the walls seeming to close in around her the longer she sat.  Finally it became too much; with a groan she rolled out of bed, grabbed an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt to change into just to wear something besides the stupid Sunday dress, pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail, and made her way downstairs.  Samuel was busy watching something on the television, the volume at an obnoxiously high level that was perfect for allowing her to sneak out of the house unnoticed. She needed some fresh air.

The sun had started to set, the sky a masterpiece of oranges and purples, but Colleen could not bring herself to find beauty in any of it.  Any other town would have appeared quaint and kind of adorable, but not this one. There was nothing cute about what was transpiring here, and yet everyone went about their daily lives as though it was the norm.  She hated it; she hated them. As she passed people on the main street they stared at her and whispered, probably something about her attire given the position she was about to fill. She didn’t care; let them talk.

She needed to get out of this place.

Her eyes fell to a bicycle parked outside of the family-owned toy store; a kid’s bike, surely, but given her short stature she could probably ride it.  It was so tempting to think of stealing it and making a break for the town entrance, riding until she hit the next town or until a car picked her up as a hitchhiker.  It was a stupid idea, a wonderfully stupid idea, but it was certainly doable. It had been years since she had ridden, but, as they say, it’s like riding a bike; it can’t possibly be that difficult, right?  Plus, given the lack of crime in town, they missed out on fundamental safety precautions that pretty much everyone else in the country used, such as bike locks.

No, it was too far-fetched.  It would never work; she would either be caught and taken back, or possibly end up in some worse fate picked up by a stranger.  And what to do if she did get to the next town? She had no money, no skills, nothing. It was hopeless.

But then her mind flashed back to that night in Brian’s basement, to being suspended from the ceiling and beaten, to the bruises still evident on her wrists and ankles, to his cock being forced down her throat, to him fucking her while she screamed and cried until he came inside her.  Tears welled in her eyes; she wiped them away furiously, her expression suddenly becoming hard as her mind was made up.  _ Stupid but doable. _

The kid was clearly entranced by something inside the store, as no one came running outside to yell after her as she hopped on the bike and began to pedal.  She was a bit wobbly at first, having to stop a few times to regain her balance, but it was not that difficult after all. A couple of passersby gave her odd looks, knowing it was not her possession but not knowing what to do about this blatant violation of trust.  Colleen ignored them, pedaling as hard as she could towards the town entrance with no other thought than that she had to make a break for it.

The road leading into and out of the town was long and windy and, unfortunately for Colleen, uphill.  As out of shape as she was she found it difficult to keep going, and after awhile she gave up and walked the bike up the steeper parts.  It might still come in handy later, she figured.

The sunset had shifted to a deeper, richer blend of colors, and for the first time in a long time it actually made Colleen smile.  She remembered a happier time in her childhood, sitting on the porch with her father and eating popsicles while the sun went down until her mother called them inside and shamed them for spoiling their dinner.  She felt her eyes water at the thought of Samuel, of leaving him behind, and tried to shake away the tears to enjoy the view but they just kept coming.  _ He’ll understand _ , she told herself despite not believing a word.   _ He might not right now, but someday he’ll understand why I had to leave him behind _ .

The crying turned into ugly sobbing in record time, so much so that Colleen had to stop her trek and sit on the side of the road as she bawled.  It just didn’t seem fair, the hold he had over her. It wasn’t right, the love she felt for him, in numerous ways, but she swore to herself she wouldn’t turn around.  She couldn’t go back.

As she was considering getting up and reluctantly continuing forward, bright lights cut through the darkness that had begun to settle in.  She put her hand over her eyes to shield herself from it, confused about the source. Clearly it was a car of some sort- no, a truck, stacked high with boxes upon boxes of supplies.  People rarely came to Happy Meadows, and they weren’t due for a new family for months, so who was this? Had someone gone out? Was someone lost? It was awfully out of the way for someone to be lost, but who could have possibly left town?  More importantly, would they make her go back?

Panic setting in, Colleen scooted back to try and get out of the view of the driver but it was too late.  The truck stopped next to her and, much to her confusion and dismay, Danny stepped out of the vehicle. He peered down at her with a strange look, then crossed his arms and chuckled.

“Trying to make a run for it, eh?  You know the nearest town is miles from here right?”

“I know,” Colleen mumbled, hugging her knees to her chest.  “Look, just keep going, just don’t tell anyone you saw me, and-”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Colleen hung her head, knowing he would say that but praying he would not.  Suddenly her anger at him began to boil over, after how he had been treating her, after how he’d abandoned her so early in her residence here.  “Look, I- I don’t know what your problem is with me, or whatever you think I did to you, but you don’t understand! Brian, he- he hurt me, and he’s going to keep hurting me, and I don’t care if you don’t believe me because it’s true, and-”

“I believe you,” Danny interrupted quietly, and it took a moment for Colleen to process what she had heard.

“Y-you do?  Then please, don’t make me go back, I can’t handle it, I can’t-”

“It’s what Liam and Brian want,” he said flatly, a strange expression passing over his features.  “And what your father agreed to.”

Colleen blanched, shaking her head.  “He doesn’t, he doesn’t love me anymore, how can he possibly say he loves me and do this?” she choked out, feeling defeated as Danny hoisted the bike into the back of the truck and came back to crouch down and look her in the eyes.

“Your father has more love for you than most.  Don’t ever question that. And he will do whatever he can to do what is best for you.”

Colleen shook her head again.  “This isn’t- this can’t be what’s best…”

Her sobs began to come harder; she felt weak and helpless and did not even struggle as Danny picked her up and placed her gently into the passenger’s side of the cab.  He said nothing else, simply drove back into town with pursed lips and the hint of something in his eyes that Colleen could not place. She was too exhausted to ask, curled up against the door and again wishing she could be anywhere else.

When Danny dropped her off at home Samuel was immensely grateful, yet she still found it odd the way the two men shook hands as if in mutual understanding.  She thought her father hated Danny, but she didn’t really care. Samuel scolded her at first, his exasperated tone making her feel all the more guilty for her little stunt, but his ire did not last long.  Soon he scooped her up in his arms and sat with her on the couch in his lap, stroking her hair and whispering reassurances that everything was going to be okay. As much as she wanted to she could not bring herself to believe him, and with no other option she curled up against his chest and wept.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY for the long lapse in updates, and for how short this chapter is- I have been insanely busy on top of having nasty writer's block (remember to check https://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/ for updates so you know I'm not dead!) Everything should be calming down, so expect the last couple of chapters (there aren't many!) to be fairly regular. Happy reading!

_ My darling Colleen, _

_ It has been quite some time since I last wrote to you but I feel as though recent events warrant another letter.  How do I begin to describe what I am feeling? I wish I knew how to make you understand that everything I do is for your own good.  I will admit that even I questioned whether staying here was the best idea given the circumstances, but now I am sure my decision was correct.  You will not believe me, of course, but I can assure you I have your best interests in mind. _

_ New information has come to light that changes everything.  I dare not write it here lest this letter is found by you prematurely, but I can tell you that I have full confidence everything will work out.  I’m not going to lose you, Colleen. I can’t. _

_ You are my world, and I would be lying if I said you weren’t your whole life.  I have experienced no greater joy than watching you become the woman you are today; I would not trade even a moment for the world.  Luckily for us, I don't have to. _

_ Soon you will understand.  Until then, I pray your misconceptions have not permanently altered your opinion of me.  Yours is the only one that matters, after all. I hope you still love me as I you. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Dad _

 

Colleen’s hand was shaky as she clutched the script for the Summer Solstice Ceremony of Bonding, tear stains threatening to smudge the ink so neatly typed out onto the paper.  No matter how many times she went over the words, no matter how many times she said them aloud did she think she could ever repeat them in front of a crowd. In front of Brian.   _ To  _ Brian.

The words spoke of working for the benefit of the town, of offering herself up to The Second for the greater good.  The superstition seemed dumber the more she thought about it; clearly the prosperity of the town had nothing to do with the happiness of the second-in-command, yet everyone seemed convinced it did.  Nothing she had said to anyone, including her father, had done anything to sway them, and every time she saw Brian he seemed more and more smug. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the grin off of his disgustingly handsome face, but she feared what he would do if she dared lay a hand on him.  She feared what he would do even if she didn’t.

Samuel had been calmly seated at the kitchen table for the past half an hour, listening to her recite the words over and over and offering suggestions for improvement that only added insult to injury.  How could he possibly be going along with this? He did not believe in it, certainly, and he hated Brian just as much as she did. He might not admit it anymore, but she saw it in his eyes, in the way his face tensed into a near snarl every time they interacted.  So why?  _ Why _ ?

“...promise to serve and obey…” she began mumbling, the words on the paper leaving her lips with the utmost insincerity.  It was simply too much; she could not say these things which she did not believe. She could admit to herself she had very little pride left, broken down as she was, but she could not go through with this farce.  She could never give herself up to Brian as they wanted her to.

“I ca- I can’t do this,” Colleen choked out, throwing the stack of papers down onto the counter as she let out a loud wail.  “Please, Dad, don’t make- don’t make me, we don’t have to do this, we can still leave-”

Samuel let out a long sigh, running his hand through his hair in a manner that made her believe for a brief moment he was actually considering her request.  He pursed his lips as he stood, silent as he walked behind the island and began pulling a mug down from the cabinets. It was one of her favorites since childhood, a colorful masterpiece full of artfully drawn butterflies.  Colleen felt much like them in that moment, plastered against the ceramic, unmoving with no hopes of freedom in sight. He wasn’t going to agree, she realized; he was never going to agree.

She turned away from him, placing a hand to her mouth in an effort to stifle her cries as her whole body shook from the strain.  Trying to pretend as though everything was normal these past few weeks had taken a heavy toll on her psyche; every interaction with her father seemed to drive a stake deeper and deeper into her heart until there was no hope for recovery.  In his eyes insisting on meals and evening movies together was perfectly acceptable, yet for Colleen it was torture. The worst of it all were the daily cuddle sessions he seemed so fond of, and on more than one occasion she had fallen asleep in his arms, in his bed, trying to hide her tears.  She couldn't tell if he did not notice or did not care. She didn't want to know.

The butterfly mug suddenly appeared in front of her, held up by Samuel's steady hand.  She turned slightly to face him, wiping her eyes as she looked down into the swirling chamomile tea ready for her consumption.  It did not make her feel any better, but she appreciated the sentiment. He had been making her tea a lot lately and she had to admit that she did always feel more relaxed, if only for a little while.

Colleen cautiously looked up at her father, taking comfort in the warmth of his smile.  Maybe, just maybe, somehow things would work out. He certainly believed it, so why couldn't she?  Because it was a foolish wish, of course, but maybe if she pretended to agree with his beliefs it would at least keep her calm until the worst happened.  She needed to feel calm.

As she began to raise the mug to her lips, something on the island next to the tea bags caught the corner of her eye.  A small bag of white powder laying casually on the counter, looking out of place amongst the kitchen gadgets. It did not appear to be sugar; her eyes narrowed and she set the mug down, leaning across the island to pick up the baggie so she could examine its contents.  It certainly wasn't a powder she had ever seen before, and she opened her mouth to ask Samuel what it was when she realized that his expression had changed. He looked like a deer in the headlights, absolutely terrified, but why? Surely there was some logical explanation, some reason for adding something to her tea-

Suddenly her vision flashed back to months ago, on the night of the bathtub incident.  He had made her a cup of tea then, just like he made her one the night they first slept together.  Come to think of it, he had been pushing the tea on her a lot recently before their cuddle sessions, many of which ended with far more than cuddling.  No, it- it couldn't be. He would never-

Colleen's teeth clenched as she held the baggie in front of him, her whole body shaking with a rage she had never known.  “Have you been putting this in my tea?” she said with a trembling voice that only seemed to make Samuel look more guilty. He refused to meet her gaze, eyes fixated on something on the floor, and slowly nodded.  His mouth suddenly opened, eyes darting back and forth nervously, but she cut him off before he could get so much as a syllable out. “What the hell is it?”

She did not know what she expected him to say, maybe roofies or something like that.  She wasn't up on her date rape drugs, but she figured it had to be something common and relatively easy to obtain.  Christ, how had a man like her father even come across it? She'd have to ask him that, too, but as he answered her previous question she realized she was woefully unprepared for the response.

“I don't know.”

 

Samuel had picked a particularly nasty looking chip in the kitchen tile to focus on rather than meeting Colleen eye to eye.  It seemed like a good idea at the time given her ire and what she had discovered, and more importantly what she had deduced. He never, ever meant for her to find out about the powder, and he could think of nothing worse than her seeing it; that is, until he had to admit he did not know the substance.

“What the fuck do you mean you don't know?  You- you've been  _ drugging _ me and you don't even know with what?”

Samuel was unsure of what to say to that.  He hated that term,  _ drugging _ ; he preferred to think of it as  _ enhancing  _ her drink with a substance designed to help her.  Drugging had all sorts of negative connotations that made his stomach turn, and he would never do anything to hurt his beloved.  How could he explain to her that it was safe? The truth, once a thing that he tried so hard to hide from her, seemed like the best thing in that moment.

“Liam assured me it was a perfectly natural substance-” he said quickly, then realized his mistake in doing so as Colleen choked on her words.

“Liam gave you this?  He- he wanted you to drug me?  Why?”

Samuel sighed, putting his head in his hand.  This was not going as he had hoped, though he could not say her reaction was unexpected.  True, she had every right to be upset with him for deceiving her, but in truth he had not done anything to harm her.  She just needed to understand that. “He told me it would help calm you down and relax when you got too stressed, it is completely harmless-”

“Did he tell you to touch me?”

He balked, finally looking directly at her while at a loss for words.  She looked more furious than he had ever seen her, hands balled into fists at her sides as if waiting for the opportunity to punch him.  Nothing he said then would be able to placate her, he knew; she was finding out more and more of the truth than he deemed necessary, but she was a bright girl for all her lack of applying it to her life.  He should have known she would put two and two together and come up with what she would surely find to be a shocking result. He licked his lips, mouth suddenly unbearably dry, and tried to choose his next words carefully.  “Not...directly…”

Colleen shook her head even as tears began forming in her eyes again.  “S-so you're telling me our entire relationship was something fabricated by Liam for what, his own sick amusement?”

Samuel's eyes shot up to meet hers, anger beginning to rise within him as well.  How dare she think their relationship a fabrication! He had never experienced anything more real in his entire life, and she would reduce it to something so meaningless?  He would make her understand, even if it meant telling her everything.

“You think what we have is sick?  Colleen, I didn't sink my life savings into coming here so you could think me  _ sick _ .  I have tried so hard to rid myself of these desires for you, so fucking hard, and you know what?  I thank Liam for showing me that I didn't need to fight them. Maybe I- maybe I should have handled it differently, but even you told me these times have been some of the best of your life.  That powder gave me the courage to show myself to you, and I'm not going to be ashamed of that.”

Colleen's mouth hung open as she stood in shock at his words.  After several moments she backed away from him, pulling out a chair from the kitchen table and sitting with a vacant expression.  She opened and closed her mouth but no words came out, not for several more seconds in which fat tears rolled down her cheeks, and when she finally spoke it was quiet and resigned.

“We didn't come here for my behavior, did we?”

Samuel sighed and looked over at her, opting to carefully pull out the chair next to her and sit so that their knees touched.  Much to his surprise, she did not jerk away, even as he put his hand on her thigh and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

“Ah, no.”

She sniffled, wiping at her eyes.  “H-how long have you wanted me like...like that?”

He brushed some hair, damp and clinging to her cheeks, behind her ear.  Should he continue telling her the truth? Should he admit to how all of her chaste kisses and the brush of her breasts had all but rendered him undone, a shell of the man he once was as the obsession overtook him?  “A...a long time. I tried to get help, I truly did, but don't you see Colleen? We can be happy together, just the two of us like this. Society be damned, this  _ works _ for us.  I- I love you.”

He was not expecting her to say it back, not really.  He wanted her to more than anything but she was too distraught, too emotional to be thinking clearly.  He had to believe that she still wanted him. He could not continue on otherwise.

“But...it's based on a lie,” she whispered, pulling away slightly as he continued to stroke her cheek.  “If you hadn't drugged me I never- I never would have let you t-touch me…”

Samuel bristled a bit; he knew full well it was true, but hearing her say it stung.  Yes, it was fact that his only daughter would not have let him be intimate with her without the aid of a questionable powder from, he had to face it, someone nearly a complete stranger.  It was fact, but he did not have to accept it for what it was. The truth remained that, over time, with the aid of the substance she had indeed allowed him access to every part of her, and that is what he had to remember.  She would not have let him if she did not want it deep down, even if she could not see that right now.

He tried not to show her how much her honesty pained him, clearing his throat and sitting up straighter.  “But I have, and you did. Those are the facts, Colleen, the rest is unimportant.”

He could tell it was tearing her up inside, the uncomfortable truth about the nature of the beginnings of their relationship, but in retrospect he actually was rather glad she had found the powder.  It was a terrible secret he had kept from her, and having it out in the open was quite liberating. Perhaps it was not the most conventional catalyst for the basis of a romance, but it had all worked out, and it would continue to work out very soon.

Colleen, however, was not swayed.  “If...if you truly loved me you never would have brought me here.  Y-you would have let me just continue on being your daughter, none of these lies, and-”

“I brought you here  _ because _ I love you!” Samuel nearly shouted, exasperation evident in his voice.  “I-I need you, Colleen, I can't live without you-”

“Then why are you giving me away?”

He faltered, hesitant.  She could keep a secret, couldn't she?  She had kept so many over the years, surely she could keep one more, particularly when it meant holding on to something so dear to her.  He wanted so much to trust her with that information, to calm her, and yet he could not. The risks were far too great.

“I- I know you don't understand right now, but I assure you everything will-”

“Work out for the best, I know,” Colleen snapped, chair legs scraping against the tile as she pushed back.  “You and I both know that's bullshit.” She began to stalk out of the kitchen, leaving Samuel to contemplate whether or not a drink was warranted after the onslaught of emotions this conversation had brought forth, when she turned on her heel to face him one last time.  “I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

As she stomped up the stairs and slammed her door, Samuel stared at the place she had just been and tried to imagine a better time, a happier time when he did not have to question every little thing.  With a frustrated sigh he propped up his head with his hand, eyes settling on the discarded cup of tea and the little bag of powder that had caused him so much trouble this evening. It had been risky using it on her when she was like this, and clearly that risk had not paid off.  Part of him wondered whether he had been in the right to use it on her in the first place all those months ago, whether he had simply taken advantage of a vulnerable young woman rather than cultivated a wonderful relationship. Part of him wondered if it really mattered anymore; what was done was done.

And given the chance, he would do it all over again.


	22. Chapter 22

More than anything, she wanted to be mad at him.

Despite all the anger she had experienced following the death of her mother, Colleen had never termed herself “bitter.”  Life is too short to let it consume you, she firmly believed, and she had stuck to that belief even into what she deemed her captivity in coming to Happy Meadows.  Even now, despite every ounce of her telling her to cast the belief aside and let her wrath be known, she clung to it like some sort of security blanket; after all, everything had to be okay as long as she maintained a positive attitude.  Life would go on as it should if she put her faith in her father and did not let her ire continue to grow.

But god how she wanted it to.

She hated this; she hated herself for not hating him.  All signs pointed to clear facts that he was not the person she thought he was these past couple of months, and perhaps he never was to begin with.  He had lied about the reason for forcing them from their home, for one thing, and had he really spent his life savings to bring them here because he couldn’t cope with wanting to fuck her?  And how long had  _ that _ been going through his mind?  She shuddered to think about how old, or how young, she had been when he first realized those urges.  He claimed to have been trying to get help by bringing them to Happy Meadows, but he certainly did not seem to try very hard, and he didn’t seem to think anything of the “therapy” methods proposed by Liam.

That was yet another thing; the drugs.  He had  _ drugged _ her, and he had done so with no remorse and without even knowing with what substance he was doing so.  He didn’t understand the potential consequences, only that he got what he wanted in the end, and he seemed to truly believe he was doing it just to calm her down rather than for his own selfish reasons.  She knew better; it had never been about her, none of it. It was always about him.

Yet curled up into a ball on her bed, the tears flowing freely into her pillows, Colleen knew the worst of it all was not the lies, or the incest, or the drugs: it was that she forgave him for it.  All of it. She wanted nothing more than to go kicking and screaming into tomorrow’s ceremony, cursing him for everything he had done to her, praying that maybe if she told the town the truth about him they would take pity on her and let her go.  But she couldn’t do that; she couldn’t leave him. Despite everything screaming at her to stand up for herself and loathe every fiber of his very being, she didn’t want to.

How could she be angry?  Despite the way things had come about, the truth was that these past few months, the cultivation of their relationship, had been wonderful.  If someone had told her a year ago she would be romantically and physically involved with her father, she would have laughed in disbelief, cried, and then quite possibly vomited, yet there was none of that now.  No one had ever understood her like he did, and no one ever would. She could forgive the incestuous desires, seeing as it is difficult to control who you are attracted to and he did at least make an attempt to keep the taboo from her and those around them.  She could forgive the lies as well, the assertion that something was wrong with her behavior because in truth it was not a lie at all. It might not be why they moved, but she knew she had issues she needed to deal with, and over time being here seemed to have curbed her slight wild streak.  She could even forgive the drugs, knowing that he had not given them to her with any sort of malicious intent. He was nothing more than a big goof who did not know what to do with himself and the urges he had; he was merely doing what he thought was right.

_ No _ , that little voice in the back of Colleen’s mind shouted at her even as the crying began to stop.  It begged her not to let him off so easily, to look at the facts and the fact that, yes, his behavior was creepy if not downright abusive and she should hate him for it.  It warned her not to take this lightly, that she needed to be strong and that was the only way she would possibly get out of any of this.

The pillow she shoved over her ear, while symbolic, seemed to muffle that voice and all of the others begging and pleading for her to be rational.  She didn’t want to listen to them; she couldn’t. She couldn’t lose the one thing that she had left in this entire godforsaken place.

It was the night before the ceremony, after all; it was her final night in their home with her father.  He had made her a wonderful dinner that she had only picked at, and he had seemed very dejected when she refused to watch a movie with him.  He was in his room now, she knew, quite possibly more than a little drunk. It was one of the few times she wished she enjoyed alcohol so she could join him.

She wiped her eyes, sitting up with a defiant look.  She was not going to spend her last night of freedom moping alone; rather, she was going to show her father just how much he meant to her before everything went to shit.  Even if she never got to be alone with him again, she would be happy in knowing they got one last night together.

Makeup was probably overkill, but given how badly she had been crying she figured a little wouldn’t hurt to cover some of the redness and distract from the puffiness of her eyes.  She fluffed out her hair a bit where it had matted against her face, and soon she looked halfway decent; pretty, even. Feeling somewhat ridiculous she pulled out a slinky purple and black nightgown and pulled it over her head, forcing herself to smile in the mirror and soon finding she had to force it less and less as she looked herself over.  Hopefully he would appreciate it.

That little voice began to nag at her again, but she quieted it with a deep breath and controlled exhale.  She was going to do this.

She needed to do this.

She padded down the hallway to Samuel’s room, finding the door open about an inch and a dim light pouring through the crack.  Biting her lip, she pushed it open slowly and stuck her head inside, surprised to find him not drunk at all but sitting up in bed, reading a book on accounting of all things.  He blinked when he saw her, setting the book down in his lap.

“Colleen, what are you-”

She pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped into the room so he could see her, but more importantly could see what she wore.  His jaw dropped, then he suddenly became very tense and clenched his teeth. He cleared his throat as she walked towards him, trying to look at her but looking seemingly at every place she wasn’t.

“I guess you can’t sleep?  I can’t either, that’s why I thought this dry material might do the trick-”

Colleen gently picked up the book off of his lap and set it on the bedside table, taking care not to lose his page in case he truly did want to resume his progress later.  In the summer heat he had seen it fit to only cover himself in a thin sheet, and as she gingerly cast it aside she couldn’t help but notice the erection already straining against his underwear.  He looked embarrassed as she glanced back up at his face, unable to look her in the eye.

“I thought you hated me,” he whispered.  She hesitated for a moment before sitting on the bed next to his hip, biting her lip in a manner she knew he disliked.

“I...I want to,” she choked out sadly; feeling the tears threaten to return, she twisted around and laid her chest upon his, hands gripping the fabric of his undershirt tightly.  She more felt than heard him sigh, one hand moving to stroke her back while the other cupped the back of her head. Despite that nagging voice from earlier, she felt comfortable here; she felt safe.  If she could stay here forever, if things could always remain this way...but they couldn’t, not for long.

Colleen felt herself begin to tremble, her fingers clutching Samuel’s shirt with even more need.  His hand on the nape of her neck moved to her shoulder, pushing her away from him slightly so that he could look down and meet her teary eyes.  He smiled at her warmly, with such a gentle kindness that she almost managed to smile back before he leaned in and his lips met hers.

His lips were warm, as was the stiff member pressing into her stomach as the kiss evolved from chaste to passionate fire.  Before she knew what was happening her father had hastily removed his reading glasses and cast them aside, turning to push her gently yet firmly down onto her back on the mattress.  One hand moved up her splayed arm and pinned her at the wrist, then the other; normally she would have protested against such a display of aggression but she did not care.  _ Let him do what he wants tonight.  Our last night. _

The nip of his teeth on her collarbone brought Colleen back to the reality of the situation, but she quickly found that the sheer weight of him on her combined with the nuzzling and kissing of her neck was arousing her presumably just as much as him.  Without thinking much about it she spread her legs wider beneath him, letting out a soft moan when he took the cue and nestled between them. Her breath hitched as he began grinding his hips, the hardness of his cock pressed firmly against her cunt; she pawed at his shirt until finally he removed it and she groaned at the sensation of the bare skin underneath.

Soon her nightgown had been pulled over her head and thrown carelessly aside followed by the rest of the impeding garments until their nude bodies intertwined in the sheets.  Every place Samuel touched her skin with his felt like it was on fire, sparks radiating from each spot through to her very core and arousing her more as the seconds passed.

“Please,” Colleen whispered without really realizing she had done so.  Samuel smiled down at her lovingly, firmly kissing her forehead before pulling back with an uncharacteristic smirk.  She blinked up at him, perplexed as he began trailing kisses in a line down her chest towards her stomach, then down her stomach towards her-  _ oh _ .

She blushed slightly; she could count on one hand the number of times he had ever gone down on her, and while she enjoyed it immensely it was an intimate act she almost felt embarrassed to ask him to perform.  He did not seem to mind, however, and even now he was putting quite a lot of effort into pleasuring her. His tongue circled her clit in a way that made her toes curl; she did not even feel the need to pull him closer with all of the attention he was giving.  As he licked and sucked her clit, his fingers began to dance over her slit and make her squirm, dipping just enough inside to tease her and drive her mad.

Colleen’s moans grew louder and more pleading as those fingers dipped in to the knuckle, gasping as three of them finally forced themselves fully inside.  Samuel continued his assault on her clit, relentless even as she begged, though whether she begged for him to stop and take her or to get her off she did not know.  Without warning the heat surged between her legs; her hips bucked and met Samuel’s mouth with that much more force, and he greedily ate her out through her orgasm.

As the waves subsided, he climbed back up her trembling figure and kissed her passionately, positioning himself between her legs before she could even recover.

“D-Da-” she began to say, but before she knew it he was inside of her with a low grunt, bracing himself with arms on either side of her.  She inhaled sharply and whimpered at the renewed sensation of pleasure, eyes locking with his as their hips moved rhythmically together. He dropped down to his elbows, grabbing her wrists once more and pinning her as his eyes bored into hers with an intensity unlike any she had ever seen.  So many emotions were conveyed in that one stare; fear, love, regret. She could not blame him given what was about to happen, and it was then she knew she was glad she had given herself up to him like this. She did need this after all.

They both did.

They came together quickly, sweaty bodies pressed into one, their cries echoing through the bedroom as they each achieved ecstasy.  Samuel then released her wrists, rolling over next to her and nuzzling her neck as he panted and whispered how much he loved her over and over.  Colleen curled up in his arms, listening to his heartbeat as their breathing calmed and they both began to drift off to sleep, smiling to herself as she whispered that she loved him too.

 

_ Beautiful. _

The first word that entered Samuel's mind when Colleen appeared before him after donning the gown tailored specifically for this occasion had nothing to do with how stressed he felt nor how worried he was for her wellbeing; rather, it focused on how angelic she looked in the flowing white fabric draped skillfully over her pale skin in some places and hugging her petite curves in others.  She was absolutely lovely, the pink roses adorning the crown on her head complementing the light shade of lipstick that had been chosen for her and the eye makeup bringing out a wide-eyed innocence that he could now admit to himself that he rather enjoyed. Sharon scolded her in a kind, motherly way as she began to bite her lip and fidget with her freshly manicured nails, and much to his surprise his daughter listened.  It seemed as though she had finally resigned herself to her unfortunate fate.

But it wasn't unfortunate at all, and Samuel was nearly bursting at the seams with the desire to tell her that.  There was so much more here than met the eye; he had to admit he had been surprised to fully comprehend just how deep of an understanding Liam had of the town and its inhabitants, but it was something for which he was immensely grateful.  He never thought he would be putting so much trust into Danny, a man with questionable tastes who had spent the first month of their stay regularly screwing his daughter, but times had changed. So much had changed, and he prayed Colleen would come to understand that and forgive him.

He watched as Sharon flitted about Colleen, adjusting pieces of the dress here and fixing makeup there.  The older woman caught his eye for a brief moment as she felt his gaze on them, and she pursed her lips and furrowed her brow in a look of concern before beaming back up to Colleen and going on about how lucky she was to have been chosen for such a great honor.  The trouble was, she sounded more like she was trying to convince herself rather than Colleen.

Samuel could not blame her, not after what had been divulged to him at the meeting between himself, Liam, and Danny.  He wondered if she knew, if she knew exactly what they were up to. He would not have put it past Danny to tell her; they had explicitly been instructed not to tell a soul, but he knew firsthand how difficult it was to keep things from the one you love.  He had lost count of how many times he had nearly slipped and told Colleen, nearly ruining everything. At least if Sharon knew she did not let on, and he thanked her for that.

She had reason to hate them both, he knew.  It did not take him long after talking with Liam and Danny for Danny to confess the horrible yet wonderful truth, that the tryst with Colleen and subsequent dumping had been entirely at Liam's behest as a way to push her closer to him, her father.  For reasons he still did not fully understand Liam seemed to want their relationship to flourish in the exact opposite of the manner in which he would have expected. The thought was that having an affair with an older, attractive, down to earth man such as Danny and then having him abruptly leave her for his family would encourage her to find solace in her own family, him.  A bold plan, one not without risk, but looking back Samuel realized it worked perfectly. In fact, it fed into him being able to give her the enhanced tea; had Liam really planned all of that out? He was starting to think the man was some kind of mad genius.

But Sharon had gone along with it all, knowing full well what Danny was doing and why because she trusted Liam and his judgment.  Now Samuel, too, had to trust Liam, and he prayed it was not a trust misplaced. He didn't think his heart could take it.

“She’s ready.”

Samuel almost did not hear Sharon’s voice, so caught up in thoughts far from that moment.  He simply blinked and stared at her, not fully processing what he was hearing. “Hmm?”

“She’s ready, Samuel,” she repeated, gesturing to the object of the impending ceremony that was Colleen.  It was his job as her father to give her away, after all.

_ Like hell I would _ , he thought to himself, but forced a smile anyway that became more real the more he looked at her.  The dinner was to be first, followed by the ceremony; it was the opposite of how most weddings were traditionally conducted, but this was not a wedding.  A wedding typically implied love and some sort of mutual agreement, and this had neither. He had a brief image of what it would be like to see her truly getting married, what she would look like walking down the aisle to greet- who, him?  It was a silly thing to think of, but it left him flustered nonetheless. He had to deal with the present. He had to focus.

Samuel held out his hand to Colleen in offering, and though she hesitated she took it with some willingness that indicated just how much she had given into her reality.  He planted a firm kiss on her knuckles before turning and leading her down the stairs towards the reception hall. As they neared the double doors he felt her grip tighten where she had taken his arm, but she did not stop and she did not cry.  She did not say a word, but simply gulped and nodded when he asked if she was ready to begin. His smile had become forced again, seeing the pain in her face, and in truth she seemed more ready than he was.

_ Trust them _ .

The doors opened to reveal an elaborately decorated reception hall, adorned with flowing ribbons and flower arrangements matching Colleen’s attire.  Everyone was dressed beyond their Sunday best, wearing suits and formal dresses that would have looked out of place anywhere else in town. Several rectangular tables were pushed together to form one long one, places set with exquisite silverware and glasses, and at the head of it all seated next to an empty chair was Brian.

He seemed very reluctant to be there, arms crossed and unamused by the antics of the two blondes in low cut dresses hovering around him.  This surprised Samuel a bit, given how he had clearly maintained sexual relationships with them both, but he seemed disinterested more than anything.  Liam sat to his right, looking calm yet tense at the same time, and next to him sat an oddly pale Danny. Everything was set into motion.

The scrape of the chair against the floor as Brian jumped up upon seeing Colleen was not unnoticeable; Liam winced, Danny took a swig of the champagne in his glass, and the blondes turned up their noses before stalking off.  He quickly made his way over to her, taking her free hand in his immediately with a grin and then a frown.

“Took you long enough.  I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show.”

“Like I have a choice,” Colleen mumbled meekly, to which Brian laughed aloud.

“Oh, you’re cute when you have a little attitude.  We’ll work on that. It’s alright old man, I’ll take it from here.”

Samuel abruptly found himself without Colleen, who had been whisked away with a forlorn glance in his direction.  Brian sat her in her place at the head of the table, and whether intentional or not it seemed he could not keep his hands off of her.  She clearly made an effort not to wince every time he touched her, but surely memories of her trauma were making that understandably difficult.  Samuel hated that she had to go through this.

_ Not much longer now, I promise _ .

 

Colleen spent the entirety of dinner on edge, first and foremost because of Brian’s constant attention.  She could not call it affection; she was fairly certain he was incapable of feeling any, but he certainly had not left her alone.  He found it necessary to touch her anywhere he could safely put his hands in a family setting with children present, he answered questions and finished sentences for her, and he had insisted on feeding her bites of her dinner that she was perfectly capable of eating herself.  Control was something he clearly needed to have, and that fact brought back painful flashbacks of her time in his basement so vividly that she had to fight from bringing tears to her eyes. Was that the life in store for her? God, she hated to think that, even though she knew the horrible truth.  She was going to effectively spend the rest of her life with this man, this man who a quick Internet search revealed had undoubtedly beaten his ex-wife and only gotten off because he agreed to a plea deal that placed him in Happy Meadows. A man she would never wish to associate with in the best of circumstances, and these were certainly not the best.

She tried to focus her efforts on eating without getting food on her pristine white dress as a method of distraction.  It largely worked to keep her mind occupied, though Brian seemed annoyed when she did not always respond to him immediately.  She allowed herself to upset him; she knew it did not much matter how she acted and that he would hurt her later that night either way.  Might as well get some joy out of it.

Before she knew it dinner had ended, her last ounce of concentration used to keep herself from getting chocolate sauce on her bodice.  The conversations died down as Liam stood, thanking everyone for attending and asking them kindly to follow those at the head of the table to the ceremony site.  Brian practically dragged her out of her chair as she wiped her mouth with her napkin one last time, his hand digging into her wrist in a possessive and frightening manner.

Colleen stumbled after him, but given her short stature, current footwear, and the lack of a paved path, she soon had difficulty keeping up.  She fell back in step with her father more than once, something which appeared to irk Brian as he yanked her back up towards him. It was after the third time she nearly tripped that she slowed down deliberately.

“Brian, can't we slow down?  I can't- I'm not going to be able to keep up, and it's not a short walk, I'm afraid I'm going to twist my ankle-”

“Who cares?” he growled, and she saw Samuel's face harden out of the corner of her eye.  Whatever miracle he was hoping for did not seem to be coming; she gave him a look of pity as Brian grabbed her arm and thrust her in front of him, marching her at his own pace and kicking her heels when she did not move quickly enough.  It was impossible not to trip, and she would have save for his vice-like grip on her shoulders.

“B-Brian please!  I can't keep doing this, I'm going to fall, I-”

“Shut up,” he hissed, “we’re almost there.”

Colleen saw the lights penetrating the thick foliage of the forest as they approached the clearing where she had first discovered the disturbing altar.  To her knowledge there would be no bloodletting nor sacrifices tonight, but the thing’s existence still put her on edge. Even as they entered the clearing, decorated with ornate torches and flowers worthy of a lovely wedding, she did not feel any more at ease.

Brian shoved her to her place on one side of the altar before taking his on the other, looking impatiently at Liam as The First came to stand behind the altar between them.  The crowd shuffled in around them, the sheer number of them making Colleen sick to her stomach. This many people bought into this stupid tradition? What lies had Liam been feeding them?

She craned her neck to look over her shoulder at Samuel, who was staring at Liam with a look of apprehension.  He must have felt her eyes on him, eventually turning to face her and greeting her with a somewhat forced smile.

She did not smile back.

“Everyone, please!  Settle down, if everyone could please end their conversations for the time being so we might get started.”  Liam's voice and presence commanded attention, something which the townsfolk seemed glad to give him. He smiled at the crowd warmly.  “Now, as many of you may have noticed, there have been some unfortunate happenings around town. I shall not cause you all the pain of reminding you what they have been, but suffice it to say something must change.  But what can we do?”

He paused, presumably for dramatic effect, and placed his hands on the altar.  “It has been a traditionally held belief that the success of our town relies upon the health and happiness of those in leadership roles.  More specifically, historically it has been shown that when The Second is without a partner, these unfortunate happenings have increased in number and magnitude.

“It is not something to take lightly, but it is also not something that can be remedied haphazardly.  The selection of a partner by The Second is a painstaking process that requires time and careful consideration, as the Ceremony of Bonding is, of course, for life.”

Colleen choked back a quiet sob; Brian heard and glared at her but Liam pretended not to notice.  “The Second, Brian, revealed several weeks ago that he had in fact made that important and necessary decision.  Young Colleen has graciously accepted this position, crucial to the betterment of Happy Meadows, and we are here this evening to solidify their vows in this ceremony.  I am sure you all are as thrilled as I am that this match is taking place.”

She gulped as he began his ceremonial speech, her entire body trembling as he led them closer and closer to the end with every word.  Brian caught her eye, the smug look on his face as Liam recounted her duty of obedience to him not unnoticeable and making her knees quake.  She responded with affirmation at every place she was supposed to, just as she had practiced, despite the bile rising in her throat. It was perhaps an even more harrowing experience than the basement rape, simply because of what it signified was to come.

And then it was over.  She recited the final words of the ceremony, perhaps the last words anyone would ever hear her say in such a public setting.  Her lip quivered as she did so, the weight of what had just happened truly sinking in. It was over, and there had been no miracle.  She had depended upon her father for nothing.

“Excellent!” Liam's voice was strangely jovial; Brian grinned like a madman.  “The words have been spoken. But of course, you all know that actions speak louder than words, and it is now time for an action to take place that will link these two together forever.  Something that will prove the strength and sincerity of their bond.”

What the hell was he talking about?  A kiss, perhaps? She could stomach it, of course, though it would be difficult with everyone watching- especially Samuel.   The crowd seemed strangely focused on them, however, in a manner that made her think they expected more than the mere exchange of saliva.  A terrifying thought entered her mind and she instinctively took a step away from the altar. A small step, but one that Brian noticed with a stern look nonetheless.

Was she going to have to sleep with him?  Here, now, so publicly? No, that couldn't be; there were children in the crowd, weren't there?  Her eyes scanned the masses and she did not see any. Realizing they had all gone home after the meal, she felt her heart race as she began to panic.  This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

Liam had been talking, but Colleen hadn't been listening.  No one had told her about this part of the ceremony, whatever  _ this _ was.  That likely meant she wouldn't have agreed to it if she knew, but what were they going to make her do?  Brian wasn't moving to get undressed, for which she was thankful, but had instead walked over to a small fire pit crackling nearby.

Out of nowhere Danny appeared beside her; she furrowed her brow as she eyed him with confusion, but her fear only increased as Bryce moved from the crowd to her other side.  The two men were strong and much larger than her, and she began trembling as they closed in more tightly.

“...mark signifies the devotion of the chosen to The Second,” Liam was saying, “and as he applies it he, too, devotes himself to her.”  He stepped back, allowing Brian to turn back from the fire pit to face her and the men at her sides. She blinked as she looked at what he held in his hand, which appeared to be some sort of glowing town crest with the number two entwined in the pattern.  It must have been sitting in the fire for quite some time to get that hot, but what was he doing with it-

_ No. _

_ No! _

As though they knew her thoughts, Danny and Bryce each grabbed an arm and held her fast as Brian approached.  She struggled as he neared, wrenching her shoulder in an attempt to free herself and crying out as she did so.  She could feel the heat as the brand neared her skin, writhing in the unyielding arms of two men nearly twice her size.  Tears began to pour from her eyes when she realized no one was coming to help her; the crowd was completely mesmerized. No one was coming, not even-

“DAD!” she shouted at the top of her lungs, the hot iron inches from her flesh just above the neckline of her dress near her heart.  She sobbed as she did not receive a response, knowing he was right behind her though she could not turn to see him. “D-Dad PLEASE, stop this, t-they'll listen to you, don't let him-”

Brian's face contorted into a nasty glare, but it quickly reverted into a self-satisfied sneer as the brand touched Colleen’s skin.  A white hot pain coursed through her body and she was briefly blinded as the searing agony reached her brain; she opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out, the sound instead echoing hollow in her mind as she struggled to maintain her balance when Danny and Bryce left her side.  And through it all, her father was nowhere to be found. He had abandoned her after all.

 

It took everything in Samuel's power not to dash over to Colleen after hearing his daughter’s agonizing cries of pain.  She stood mere feet from him, doubled over with her hand hovering above her branded chest as though she wished to touch it, to soothe it, but could not.  Ugly tears streamed down her face, and he found it a wonder her makeup remained intact as her brow furrowed and her mouth contorted into a grimace. He wanted to go to her, to calm her, to tell her that everything would soon be over and she really was doing quite a good job, but he knew one false step would ruin everything.

It had caused him nothing but heartache to learn she would be branded as part of the ceremony; certainly an inhumane and twisted tradition, but nevertheless one that Liam assured him had to occur lest the townsfolk become suspicious prematurely.  The mere concept had bothered him for weeks, the inability to tell Colleen clawing relentlessly at his mind. When the moment came he could not bear to watch, biting the inside of his cheek so hard at the sound of sizzling flesh that he tasted blood.

She turned to face him then, and in that moment he felt a gut-wrenching pang of guilt.  While the event itself was over in an instant, the physical and mental effects would last her a lifetime.  He had put her through so much, and while he was still confident of the plan’s success he knew somewhere along this journey he had nearly lost her.  That thought alone threatened to make him lose faith, but there was no turning back. She would understand when it was over, yet in that moment he would not have faulted her had she screamed at him, pleaded with him, or even assaulted him physically.  She had certainly earned the right to be upset, and be upset with him directly; part of him began to expect the ire at any moment.

Yet that moment never came.  She simply looked at him sadly through betrayed, tear-stained eyes, and he realized that despite his best efforts he  _ had  _ lost her.

No, this was all wrong; things weren't supposed to turn out this way.  He had done this for her, all of it, and he was not about to let it all go to waste.  An impulsive thought entered his mind, the surge of adrenaline causing him to lose focus for a moment as he began to turn on his heel to do something very, very rash; he only stopped when he heard Liam's voice rise above the murmurs of the crowd.

“And I do believe this concludes the Ceremony of Bonding.  Friends, I now invite you to stick around and join us for some light refreshments and dancing if you are so inclined.  Our newly bonded couple will be leading us into the first dance right here in just a few moments. Please help yourselves to the punch, and let the festivities continue!”

Samuel set his heel back down with a sigh.  Had Liam realized what he was about to do and quickly taken measures to stop him?  He certainly would not put it past the man, and despite feeling frustrated at his inability to help Colleen he was actually rather grateful.  He should have known better than to attempt anything that would jeopardize their future together.

Colleen had turned her gaze away from him and was staring at the ground, not even bothering to look up as Brian put his arm around her and pulled her close, whispering something in her ear that no doubt pertained to the evening he had planned ahead if her expression was any indication.  He gulped as Brian's arm snaked around behind her, his hand firmly grabbing her ass; their eyes met and he resisted a growl at the knowing smirk Brian gave him. He had to remain calm.

_ Not much longer now. _

The band began to play, the sound of a lovely tune that did not match Samuel’s mood filling the air.  Brian grabbed Colleen by the hips, lifting her up so she stood upon the altar before climbing up after her.  He leered down at her as he put his arms around her waist, sighing and rolling his eyes at placing her hands on his shoulders when she would not move.  They began to carefully sway atop the stone to the rhythm of the music, the crowd cheering them on gleefully. Samuel wanted nothing more than to chuck a rock at Brian's head, but he reluctantly refrained as he caught Liam's eye a few feet away.  The man wore a tense smile, arms crossed, yet Samuel felt oddly at peace seeing him standing there so calmly.

So caught up in his thoughts, he hardly noticed when the music began to fade out and the band ceased to play.  The crowd cheered and clapped as Brian took a bow and stepped on a weary Colleen's foot to get her to curtsy. Everyone was staring at them, so entranced by the couple that no one was paying attention to the lone figure moving through the crowd.  No one noticed his head bowed, jaw clenched; no one noticed the look of resolve in his eyes. Most importantly, no one noticed the rather noticeable item he carried in a vice-like grip.

“Hey, Brian!”

The voice carried above the din of the crowd, which died down almost immediately at the realization that something was amiss.  Brian ceased laughing and looked down at the culprit with an annoyed disdain. “Danny,” he scoffed, “what the fuck do you wa-”

“This is for Chrissy.”

Suddenly, everyone noticed, but it was too late.

The shotgun went off with a roar that echoed through the clearing, the well-aimed shot nailing Brian right in the gut.  His eyes widened as he began to lose his footing, placing a hand over the wound that did little to contain the blood that began to emerge.  He clutched at Colleen, ripping the bodice of her dress and increasing the panic that was clearly evident in her eyes. Her hands went to her mouth in shock, looking from Brian to Danny then finally to Samuel, who regarded the situation with a grim, unmoving expression.  The sad look in her eyes returned when she apparently made the connection and realized the unfathomable truth: her father was about to become an accessory to murder.

Samuel watched with contentment as Danny took aim again and fired, this shot puncturing yet another hole in Brian’s abdomen.  Brian did lose his footing then, tumbling backwards off of the altar and yanking a startled Colleen with him. They both hit the ground with various thuds and cracks; unable to see, a fearful Samuel dashed over to Colleen and knelt beside her even as Brian began to bleed out.  The entire celebration was in chaos with some townsfolk screaming, some running, and others descending upon Danny as he dropped the weapon. Samuel could hear the grunts as fists connected with flesh, but that was not his concern. Colleen was okay. She was unconscious, and she more than likely had a concussion, but she was breathing.  They were going to be okay.

It was over.


	23. Chapter 23

_ Mine. _

 

Pain was the first thing Colleen noticed when she awoke from her injury.  Somehow she knew it could be much, much worse, yet the throbbing in her skull distracted her from every other sensation she could have been feeling at the time.  She blinked her eyes a few times, trying to comprehend what was happening. She was in a bed, that much was clear, but it certainly was not her bed; she could hear steady beeping coming from somewhere nearby but everything else was silent except for the low hum of equipment.

What had happened?  She had surely been somewhere before here, but everything was a little fuzzy and it hurt to concentrate for more than a few moments.  That wouldn't do; she had to remember.  _ Think.  Think! _

Eyes open completely now, Colleen realized she was in a hospital.  Judging by the age and condition of the equipment, it was the small town hospital and not the one in a major city miles away that could afford modern technology.  Of course they wouldn't have taken her there. She could be missing a limb and they would probably let her bleed out to preserve their precious town.

Blood.  Something about blood made her feel sick, triggering images in her mind that disturbed and frightened her.  She saw blood pouring from a gaping wound and a contorted face still sneering as it fell away from her, and as the face hit the ground with a crack she finally recognized it as Brian.

_ The ceremony. _

Colleen winced again, still unable to make out many details other than Brian's injury and subsequent fall.  A loud noise had preceded it, and when she concentrated harder she realized it had been a gunshot. When she thought even harder than that, focusing all her effort on remembering without making her head explode from pain, she saw in her mind the man responsible for Brian's wounds.  No; she had to be misremembering. Danny would never do a thing like that; she must be confusing him with someone else.

Yet the fact remained that, unless she was completely off, Brian had been shot.  Was he dead? She knew she should not hope for such a thing, and yet she found a part of her getting excited at the prospect.  This could be her salvation.

Colleen blinked as she glanced over to the table next to the hospital bed, not finding it empty as she would have expected.  An empty wrapper, some crumbs, a half consumed bottle of soda, and a handwritten letter were all strewn about. She had a feeling she knew the identity of the owner of all of these items, but she had to be sure.  She wanted to know that everything was going to be alright, and as she picked up the letter and recognized her father's handwriting she could not help but smile.

 

_ My Dearest Colleen, _

_ It would be impossible for you to fathom the weight which has been lifted from my shoulders knowing I can now present you with the truth.  So much has happened in such a short time, and I fully appreciate that it was not without an abundance of risk, yet I hope you will come to realize that it was all for your benefit.  For our benefit. Ah, where to begin… _

_ You already know quite a large portion of what I had hoped you never would.  You have seen a side of me that I tried so desperately to hide so that you would always look up to me like you did as a child, and for that I do apologize.  I cannot and will not apologize for my behavior, however, and I think you can understand that. Love sometimes makes people do the unfathomable. _

_ You know, of course, that our moving to this town was not for your behavior, but rather to curb mine.  You know that I never wanted you to learn of my lust, my sin, and you know that Liam provided me with a substance that I will admit I used inappropriately for my own selfish reasons.  What you do not know is that an additional part of that therapy was to write you letters, letters that I prayed you would never find, letters confessing my every desire in the utmost detail.  I think it is finally time for you to read them. They are in the notebook I have left in your room at home, and I want you to have it. I want you to know me entirely as I have wanted to know you. _

_ What you also do not know is that, after the events that transpired the other night, Liam has asked me to take on the role of The Second.  I was taken completely by surprise at his request, particularly knowing how badly you have wanted to leave town. But he did not have to convince me of anything; I accepted without more than a moment’s hesitation.  I know being here is the best thing for us, Colleen. You might not realize it, but this bond we have shared these past few months, it never would have come to be without this place. I can think of no better way to become a part of this town than to help guide it, to shape it and the people within.  I hope you can understand that. _

_ I know you must have questions about the happenings of the past few days, and I will be glad to answer them in due time.  I promise, everything is fine now. Everything is coming together as it should be, and we will be able to be together without fear of stigma or repercussion from anyone. _

_ Finally, we can truly be a family again. _

_ I love you, Colleen, and I will continue to love you until the last breath of air leaves my body. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Dad _

 

Tears began to sting in Colleen’s eyes as she read the remainder of the letter, the weight of the words sitting heavy on her chest.  If her father was appointed Second, that must mean Brian was dead, and yet the thought gave her little solace. If her father was appointed Second, that meant there was no leaving, no escape; he had truly accepted his role in town, and she was bound to him now in more ways than one.

The latch to the door clicked open, and into the room slipped a very weary and very relieved Samuel carrying a small vase of flowers.  He beamed when he saw her awake and alert, though his face fell slightly as he noticed the letter in her lap. He set the flowers down on a shelf opposite the bed, then pulled over the chair she had guessed was his.  Soon his hands clasped hers and he gave them a loving squeeze, lifting one to kiss her knuckles; the gesture was by all means genuine, yet it felt hollow to Colleen. Everything felt numb.

“Oh Colleen, I- thank goodness, I was getting so worried!  They told me you’d wake up any moment, but of course I needed to see it for myself before I could relax, and I’ve been sitting here for- well for hours now, and I’d just stepped out to grab some air, but-” He took a deep breath in through his nose and exhaled, his smile becoming more genuine and less frantic.  “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Colleen frowned, breaking eye contact to look down at the letter in her hand.  She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say or how to begin.  There were still so many unanswered questions, so much she did not know; did she even want to find out?  Wasn’t this what she wanted? A happy little life in a small town with her father-turned-lover, where they could be themselves and live without a care?

“What happened?” she finally blurted out, knowing it was a vague question.  Samuel sighed and clenched his teeth as though he was unsure of how to best answer the question.

“Well,” he began slowly, drawing out the word for what felt like an eternity, “you have a concussion.  A rather nasty one, from what they tell me, but I don’t know anything about medicine so-”

“No, I mean at the- at the ceremony.  I can’t...I can’t remember…”

Samuel squeezed her hand again with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.  It seemed an even lighter grey now in parts, as though the stress of the past few months had aged him irreversibly.  The lines on his face were deeper, too, and his eyes appeared sunken and almost lifeless. The only spark seemed to return when he looked at her, his mouth twisting into a smile that she could not return.

“Ah, well, you and Brian were- you were dancing up on the altar, and then, erm, well Danny sort of...shot Brian...and you fell off the altar and hit your head.”

So she wasn’t misremembering after all.  She truly could not believe what she was hearing; Danny, one of the nicest people she’d met, except to her, had shot and presumably killed another human being.  Not that she was particularly upset at the thought of Brian dead, though she supposed she should confirm that.

“So Brian’s….?”

“Dead,” replied Samuel flatly, not an ounce of remorse evident in his tone.  Colleen pursed her lips and nodded; it was the answer she expected, and in a way the one she wanted.  Had Danny not taken the risk he had, her life with Brian would have been much unlike a life at all.

Speaking of Danny, what of him?  The town did not exactly have a jail, or law enforcement, and murder was certainly something that warranted legal intervention.  He had done her a favor, and she was willing to admit to that, but was the town just going to let him get away with something so heinous?

“And Danny?” she finally asked, curious yet afraid to hear the answer.  Samuel’s face immediately fell and he looked away from her for a moment; suddenly she felt her chest tighten and she knew what he was going to say.  Even when he said it, however, she felt woefully unprepared for the guilt it made her feel.

“Danny’s dead.”

The tears started to sting in her eyes again.  Even though she and Danny had not gotten along in quite some time, he didn’t deserve to  _ die _ .  He certainly didn’t deserve to die as a result of something as silly as saving her from a sadist; but how did it happen?  Did the town take it upon themselves to bring justice to their former Second? An eye for an eye, et cetera?

“H-how…?”

“Brian’s, ah, followers sort of turned on him after he took the shots.  I was busy attending to you, so I didn’t see everything, but I saw the aftermath, and-”

Colleen shook her head.  “S-stop! Just...stop…” She felt like she was going to throw up.  This was not how this was supposed to go at all, and she felt powerless to control any of it.  She could not change the past, but she also seemed unable to affect the aftermath as it unfurled around her, and it was infuriating.  She wiped at her eyes furiously, choking on her words. “W-what about Sharon, a-and-”

“His family fled town right after it happened.  I have no reason to believe they aren’t safe.”

That provided the briefest pang of relief, but only for a moment.  She leaned back into her pillows and put her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes and letting the tears flow.  Something about all of this wasn’t right. Danny was not a murderer, despite his insistence on being an asshole to her for the better part of the past several months.  What would make him do such a thing?

“Why?” she croaked, her voice hoarse.  She heard Samuel sigh, his thumb tracing over her knuckles as if he were trying to distract himself from the awkwardness of the conversation, and when he spoke it was with a quiet solemnity.

“Two years ago another ceremony was performed.  A young woman was chosen to be The Second’s- Brian’s- bonded partner, even though it was well known by the family what kind of person Brian truly is.  They were powerless to stop it, much like I- I was powerless to stop you. In the following months the young woman was kept away from her family, practically a captive to Brian, and eventually it got out that she was pregnant.”  He took a deep breath, and Colleen shuddered imagining what could have happened to her in the same position. “She was unable to carry the baby to term. She- she died due to complications.”

An image struck Colleen’s mind, an image of a distraught Danny kneeling beside an unmarked grave, and suddenly it all made sense.  She remembered now; when he’d shot Brian he’d said a name, and that name was-

“Chrissy,” she whispered, finally opening her eyes and staring over at Samuel as he nodded.

“Danny and Sharon’s daughter.”

_ Christ _ .  So Danny had decided to off Brian before the same thing that happened to his family could happen to someone else’s.  A noble gesture, but something still didn’t sit quite right with her. He didn’t strike her as the kind of person who would come up with such a dangerous plot on his own, particularly if it meant risking his life.  Someone had to have been the ringleader; it certainly was not Samuel, who detested violence, but there had been someone else involved. There had been one other person who had, if Colleen was correct, been giving orders this entire time.  Someone who had nothing to lose and everything to gain from Brian’s death.

“And Liam was in charge of it all so he could depose Brian as Second and put someone else in.  Someone who would bend over backwards for him. Someone like you.”

Samuel smiled slightly and tapped his nose, oblivious to the underhanded description of him.  “You’re a bright girl, Colleen. I’m not surprised you figured it out. Just try to keep it to yourself, okay?  The official story is that Danny went rogue to avenge his daughter’s death, so remember that if you’re ever discussing it with anyone.”

More lies and deceit.  This was getting to be too much for Colleen; the revelations of the day were gnawing at her in the pit of her stomach and she wanted to lie down.  The trouble was, she was already laying down, and there was nowhere else she could crawl to absorb the reality of everything that had happened. She was living in a town built on lies and deceit, and her father was a part of it.  He was acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Yet she could not be as upset with him as the situation dictated, not when he had acted in her best interest.  She felt terrible for the way things had come to pass, terrible for Danny and his family, and she loathed Liam even more now but the truth was she was safe.  Brian was dead and she was safe to life her happy little life with her father once more. And despite herself, that truly was all she wanted.

The hospital gown did little to cover her completely, and indeed it had slipped off of her shoulder and exposed a bit of her chest on the side closest to Samuel.  She glanced down as the moving fabric stung, surprised to find the brand raised upon her skin shining brightly. She had almost forgotten about it; she wished she had forgotten about it.  Brian might be dead, but what he did to her she could never remove. He would always have a presence with her, and the mere thought of that made her feel ill once again.

She winced as the stinging sensation increased, and was taken aback to find Samuel running his finger over the intricate patterns burned into her flesh.  As he stroked the brand in an almost loving manner, a strange thought crossed Colleen’s mind. A somewhat disturbing thought, but one that amused her on some twisted level.

“I guess this means I’m yours now, huh?”

Samuel leaned in close to her with a tender smile, a loving fatherly smile which reminded Colleen of those he used to give her before everything had inexplicably changed.  “You’ve always been mine,” he whispered, lips lingering on her forehead as they brushed the spot upon which he had bestowed a gentle kiss.

She was unsure of how to feel so she settled for a twisted kind of happiness that she hoped would evolve into the real thing once she got out of this bed and could think clearly.  She could not be sure if she was on too many painkillers or not enough, but she knew she wanted out as soon as possible. She wanted to curl up in her own bed, or perhaps Samuel's bed; either one would do as long as she was not alone.

Her eyelids suddenly felt very heavy; the weight of the day was too much.  She wanted to sleep, to dream of a life free from these complications and stressors, a life where she could be unapologetically herself and not what the town thought she should be.  It wasn't like their opinion mattered anyway; only one person’s did, and that person was currently stroking her arm with warm fingertips and beaming down at her in adoration.

“Rest, Colleen,” she heard her father say through a dense fog.  “I'm going to see when I can take you home.”

 

Home.

It meant so many things to so many different people, but for Colleen it was now a haven.  To think of the life she could have had with Brian, and to be safely at home with Samuel; it was a dream come true.  The days in the hospital passed by in a blur, and when they finally released her she gave Samuel the biggest hug she could muster with all of her still healing scrapes and bruises.  Now their house stood before her, looming as it did when they first arrived yet not nearly as menacing or foreign. She held her father's hand as they stepped up onto the porch, appreciating the reassuring squeeze he gave her as he unlocked the front door.

Looking around the foyer into the different connecting rooms, she realized she had never appreciated this place as much as she did now.  It had only been a matter of days since she had left to go to the ceremony, but it felt like an eternity of being pried away from that which mattered most.  She wanted to savor it; every room, every piece of furniture, every imperfection in the paint, every memory. It was something she knew she would never take for granted again.

Samuel noticed her look of awe and chuckled, squeezing her hand again before letting go and kissing her cheek.  “Welcome home, Colleen. Take your time. I'll be in the kitchen.”

Colleen nodded as he walked down the hall, turning and making her way into the living room.  She looked around at the television, the bookshelves, and all the little decorative items they had brought when they moved in that made it feel so much more like a home instead of just a place they lived.  She looked at the couch, the place where they had spent so many nights watching movies, cuddling, or perhaps doing even more than that. They were memories that left her with mixed feelings, but she was finally beginning to accept that it was all for the best.  Everything happens for a reason.

Running her fingers over the fireplace mantle proved to be a somewhat bad idea; her father was a lot of things, but he was not the best at keeping up with the chores.  She shook off her dusty fingers but the grime would not disappear, so she backed out of the room with a satisfied sigh and went further down the hall to wash off her hands in the bathroom.  As the bits of dirt and dust drifted down the sink, she felt oddly at ease. It certainly was not a perfect household, but it was theirs.

Colleen smiled as she finally entered the kitchen, reacting to her father’s warm smile as he sat with his arms folded at the table.  He looked more than pleased to have her home and walking about, and in that moment the urge to be near him was strong. She pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, leaning into his arm and breathing in the deep musky aroma that was unmistakably him, letting it be a reminder of everything they had and shared.  So caught up was she in the comforts of home, the comforts of  _ him _ , that she almost did not notice it staring her in the face.

Sitting on the table mere inches in front of her was the butterfly mug, and inside it swirled a fresh cup of chamomile tea.

She choked back her surprise, yet she wondered if she should even be surprised at all.  She knew without a doubt what waited for her mixed in with that tea, and despite wanting so hard to believe that he would not do such a thing, not like this, she was confronted with the terrible truth.  Nothing had changed; her father hadn't learned a damn thing from their experience, and nothing would ever change. The smile he wore when she entered the room wasn't for her, but for what was to come.

Colleen sat up slowly, tilting her head to look up at him as he leaned back in his chair, a calm demeanor radiating from where he sat.  This man was her father, the man who had given her life and provided so much for her these past two decades, and yet he had become so much more than that.  She could hardly find the words to describe what she felt for him then, to come close to the characterizing the tumultuous emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.  Indeed, trying to comprehend the sensations surging within became too much for the overloaded young woman and soft sobs began to wrack her injured body.

Samuel looked down at Colleen with a small sigh as she started to cry.  “There is no use fighting the inevitable, my darling girl,” he said, pausing to wipe away the tears from her cheek with his thumb.  “Now, try to relax, and  _ drink your tea _ .”

He reached over and lifted the steaming mug, holding it out towards her in offering.  She stared at it in hesitation for several seconds before gingerly taking it from him with the faintest utterance of gratitude, curling her bruised fingers around the sides.  With a heavy heart she brought the cup to her lips, pressing them to the ceramic until she felt the warmth of the tea enter her mouth. Allowing the liquid to flow down her throat, the drug within to enter her system, she saw her father’s smile widen as she leaned back and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it.  
> It is done.
> 
> I'm honestly having a very difficult time with this because I wish I had more to give, but this was always intended to be how their story ended and I can't bring myself to stretch it out into something else. I have fallen in love with these characters, and I hope you have enjoyed this crazy ride as much as I have. I appreciate all of the kudos and comments and general feedback I received.
> 
> I do plan on writing some sort of sequel, though it will be a couple months while I get everything sorted and settled so I have a decent outline to work off of as I did for Chamomile. Definitely keep checking back here because I will try to post little one-shot fics of Colleen and Samuel during that time, both AU and not. Ideas are always appreciated!
> 
> As always, keep checking https://sweetestyet.tumblr.com/ for updates and other fun things I think of, and to leave asks with questions, comments, or ideas. I love them all!
> 
> It has truly been a pleasure sharing this with all of you, and I hope you have had as much fun as I have. Thank you. <3


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